u/ShawnDet313

I was abused as a child and as a result I suffer from C-PTSD and depression. Everyday, all day I deal with intrusive thoughts, hypervigilance, and internalized anger. My mind is always racing. The only time I'm at peace is when I'm sleeping. When I awake I return to a state of constant stress

I'd love to sit down and read a book or learn a new skill without discouraging and intrusive thoughts affecting my concentration and mood

Who's punch resistance do you trust more?

Honestly I think the fight doesn't last more than 4 rounds.

Anthony Joshua was almost upset by Kristian Prenga and Deontay Wilder won via split-decision over Derek Chisora. Now I'm actually interested in this fight again.

Both fighters are past their primes and honestly I think that makes the fight more compelling.

Joshua showed that he's still dangerous but his punch resistance is pretty much gone. Wilder, on the other hand, showed he still has explosiveness at his older age but failed to stop the older and much slower Derek Chisora.

Both fighters have suffered KO losses and the fight would be a test to see who has more left.

Even after all these years, it's still one of the hardest fights to predict. Joshua is the more skilled fighter but Wilder has a puncher's chance. Both have caved under pressure.

I know this matchup probably won't have the same hype it would've had in 2018 or 2019, but it still feels like one of the most exciting heavyweight fights that can be made.

I've always thought it was fun to imagine what the perfect boxer would look like if you could combine the greatest traits from different fighters throughout history. Not necessarily the greatest resume or the greatest pound-for-pound fighter, but a hypothetical boxer built from the best individual attributes.

Here's my build:

• Chin: Canelo Álvarez
• Heart: Manny Pacquiao
• Charisma: Muhammad Ali
• Power: Julian Jackson
• Defense & Ring IQ: Floyd Mayweather Jr.
• Jab: Larry Holmes
• Speed: Sugar Ray Leonard
• Athleticism: Roy Jones Jr.

I think that combination would be about as close to a complete fighter as you could create. You'd have an elite jab to control range, incredible speed and athleticism, devastating one-punch power, one of the best defensive minds in boxing history, a granite chin, the heart to fight through adversity, and Ali's charisma on top of it all.

If you had to build your own perfect boxer, what attributes would you choose? Feel free to add categories I didn't include (footwork, stamina, body punching, timing, combinations, counterpunching, IQ, etc.), and explain why you picked each fighter.

I just finished my third processing session. I attempted to process a memory of my older brother sexually assaulting me when I was somewhere between 6-9 years old.

Unfortunately during processing I felt absolutely nothing. I didnt dissociate. I just couldn't access my emotions, feelings, or even body sensations. I knew years before I got into EMDR therapy that that specific memory would be difficult to process because it doesn't make me sad or angry. Even though it should. I just don't feel anything.

Anyways. I'm thinking of going to an Ayahuasca retreat. From what I've been told EMDR is more gentle and requires you to access your emotions and feelings voluntarily, while Ayahuasca is more intense and forces you to access your emotions and feelings.

To anyone that has experienced both EMDR and Aya do you agree? Would you recommend combining both?

I just finished my third processing session. I attempted to process a memory of my older brother sexually assaulting me when I was somewhere between 6-9 years old.

Unfortunately during processing I felt absolutely nothing. I didnt dissociate. I just couldn't access my emotions, feelings, or even body sensations. I knew years before I got into EMDR therapy that that specific memory would be difficult to process because it doesn't make me sad or angry. Even though it should. I just don't feel anything.

Anyways. I'm thinking of going to an Ayahuasca retreat. From what I've been told EMDR is more gentle and requires you to access your emotions and feelings voluntarily, while Ayahuasca is more intense and forces you to access your emotions and feelings.

To anyone that has experienced both EMDR and Aya do you agree? Would you recommend combining both?

I just had my second BLS session today and wanted to see if anyone has had a similar experience.

Today's target memory was of my older brother choking me when I was around 6–8 years old. My starting SUDS was an 8.

At the beginning and middle of the session I felt a lot of activation:

• Anger
• Fear
• Nervousness
• Sweaty palms
• Increased heart rate
• Increased body temperature

Then during the middle to late part of the session, things changed. My mind started wandering, my head felt like it was spinning, and I felt dissociated, almost like I was detached from my body. I tried to force myself to reconnect with the anger I felt earlier in the session, but it was like my mind was pushing me away from those emotions.

For context, my first BLS session (June 26) targeted a memory from around age 5 of sitting in the backseat of my mom's car feeling sad and depressed, while being confused about why I felt that way.

My main symptoms are internalized anger and constant mental reenactments of past fights and confrontations. Processing that first memory didn't seem to reduce those symptoms at all, which makes me wonder if this second target is more directly connected to them.

Has anyone else experienced their emotions disappearing or feeling detached during processing, especially when working on a more intense memory? Did you still see progress afterward even if you felt like your mind was pushing you away from the emotions during the session?

I've been in therapy since April 4th. June 26 was my first BLS session. Today will be my 2nd session (My therapist canceled last week for a personal medical emergency). During BLS I have a hard time remembering specific target memories, and to be honest, some of those memories aren't that triggering and they don't feel that connected to my current symptoms.

Recently I've identified three triggers and how they make me feel:

- Anger and aggression from people. Angry, afraid, nervous, and paranoid.

- Social rejection. Especially from so-called family members. Angry, sad, and lonely.

- Rejection from women. Specifically during my teenage years and my 20s. Sad, depressed, and lonely

During processing should I focus on my present triggers and the feelings and emotions associated with them, instead of specific memories?

You're completely unarmed and have no way to fight back. Your only goal is to survive by escaping or hiding.

Which would you choose?

Option A: A starving brown bear

- Can stand around 8–10 feet tall on its hind legs.

- Typically weighs 500–1,000+ pounds (some are even larger).

- Can sprint up to about 35 mph.

- Has enormous strength capable of overturning heavy objects and overpowering large prey.

- Equipped with 3–4 inch claws and a bite powerful enough to crush bone.

- A starving bear is highly motivated to find food and may be more persistent than usual.

Potential injuries include deep lacerations, crushed bones, puncture wounds, severe blood loss, and fatal trauma.

Option B: A raging chimpanzee

- Around 4–5.5 feet tall.

- Usually weighs 70–150 pounds.

- Can run around 25 mph.

- Extremely agile, capable of climbing, jumping, and changing direction quickly.

- Has tremendous upper-body strength for its size and a very powerful grip.

- Possesses large canine teeth capable of inflicting devastating bites.

- A chimp in an aggressive frenzy can be relentless and unpredictable.

Potential injuries include severe bites, torn flesh, broken fingers or hands, severed genitals, eye injuries, facial trauma, and permanent disfigurement.

Assume you're dropped into a large forest with a short head start. You can run, hide, climb over obstacles, or use the environment—but you have no weapons, no vehicles, and no outside help.

Which are you choosing, and why?

I'm 33. I have PTSD from child sexual abuse, physical violence, and verbal and emotional abuse throughout my life. The person I consider to be the main antagonist in my life and have had the biggest negative impact on me is my older brother. When I was around 7-10 years old he molested me in the basement of our childhood home. Throughout my childhood and teens he abused me physically and into my early 20s he bullied me verbally. Honestly I hate him. I tried not to throughout my life but I do. He moved to another state 12 years ago. I have no relationship or communication with him at all and I prefer that.

I tend to have intrusive thoughts of people watching me, mocking me, and ganging up on me (either verbally or physically).

I believe it's because of being bullied by my older brother and classmates throughout my childhood and teen years. I was born and raised in Detroit. The bullying here can be vicious and can (and oftentimes would) escalate to physical violence quickly.

I initially believed the paranoia of being ganged up on was a symptom of schizophrenia but my therapist said it is PTSD because I know the thoughts aren't currently happening but from past experiences. When I have these intrusive thoughts I get kind of scared, nervous, and have a racing heart, and sweaty palms. Then I become angry. Internalized anger. Never outbursts. At least not in public or around other people. Only in the privacy of my own home. I have enough awareness to know how I would be perceived by others.

Several times a day, when I have these intrusive thoughts, I get angry and I begin physically reenacting fights. Like literally throwing a punch (or punches) at the air. I think I do this because of unresolved trauma and being beaten/jumped and wanting to "win" the fight this time around.

On Friday I processed a memory from when I was around 5-7 years old. I used the hand buzzers. The memory was of me feeling sad and depressed while riding in the backseat of my mom's car while she drove me to school.

During BLS my mind wandered and I felt nothing emotionally. I remember at that age feeling sad and depressed but even at only 5-7 years old I was confused on why I felt sad. What stood out to me (and disappointed me) the most though was that the memory was blurry. I could barely remember it.

During the session I felt like I had to force myself to feel the sadness instead of that feeling presenting itself naturally. Also during the session I tried to imagine me comforting my younger self by hugging him and reassuring him that he is safe. Honestly I was disappointed that we started with this memory because I feel like memories of me at an older age being physically abused or bullied will a have greater impact.

At the time of writing this it's been 2 days since the session (it's Sunday). I feel no changes and I'm still experiencing the same intense symptoms. What should I do?

Intake was at the beginning of April. For the past two and a half months I've been prepping, doing resources, and building a timeline.

This Friday I'm finally going to start processing. I'm so excited! I work Mon-Thu, so I have all weekend to rest. From everything I've been reading about EMDR and others' experiences, I can't wait to see what it's like.

I’m currently in EMDR therapy and still in Phase 2 (prep/resources), but getting close to starting processing soon.

One of my main issues is intrusive thoughts—especially mentally reenacting arguments or confrontations and getting stuck in those loops.

I’m curious about other people’s experiences:

• When you started EMDR processing, how did it affect your intrusive thoughts?
• Did they stop quickly after certain sessions, or was it more gradual over time?
• Did you notice they became less intense, less frequent, or just easier to let go of?

I’m trying to get a realistic idea of what to expect. I know everyone’s different, but hearing real experiences would help.

Just wanted to share where I’m at and see if anyone else had a similar experience.

I started EMDR at the beginning of April (intake on April 3rd), and I’ve been going weekly ever since. I’m currently in Phase 2 and have done several sessions focused on grounding, regulation, and different resources (container, leaf on a stream, light stream, etc.).

At first, I was honestly pretty impatient. It felt like I just wanted to “get to the real part” (BLS/processing), and I even started wondering if I was just being strung along.

But in my most recent session, my therapist told me I’m about 75% through Phase 2, which kind of changed my perspective. It made me realize I’m actually closer than I thought, not stuck at the beginning.

Now I’m starting to feel more excited than frustrated. I feel like I have a better understanding of:

• my nervous system (ventral/sympathetic/dorsal)
• how to ground myself when things get intense
• how to not get completely pulled into my thoughts

I still want to start processing soon, but I can see why this phase matters more now.

For those who’ve been through EMDR:

• Did your perspective shift like this during Phase 2?
• How did it feel when you finally moved into Phase 3 and started BLS?

Just looking forward to getting into the next phase and seeing where it goes.

I started EMDR recently and wanted to get some perspective from people who’ve gone through it.

My intake session was April 3rd

I’ve done several grounding exercises and resources so far

I’m currently in Phase 2 and have done two sessions in this phase

I see my therapist weekly (Fridays), and tomorrow will be my 5th session

So far we’ve done things like grounding exercises, nervous system education, and different resources. I understand that this phase is important, but I’m starting to feel a bit impatient.

I like my therapist but I'm starting to feel like I’m just spending money and being strung along.

For those who’ve done EMDR:

How long did Phase 2 last for you?

When did you actually start BLS/processing (Phase 4)?

Did you feel impatient at this stage too?

I guess I just want to know if this pacing is normal or if I should expect to start processing soon.