u/SherbetOk6602

i (31F) have been with my bf (31M) for about 4 months. when we first met/dated he acted super into me, always initiated, took me on dates etc. i remember at the time being certain he was falling in love with me and was being super genuine with his pursuit/intentions. fast forward to now, i know that he was genuine and was super into me, but i don’t feel like he is anymore. lately i constantly feel under appreciated, and honestly just frequently disappointed with our level of emotional connection. unfortunately i’ve realised after already entering into a committed relationship with him, that he’s not really a man of great character, integrity, or drive. he’s the type to say something because it’s the right thing to say/it’ll make me feel good… but then doesn’t mean it or doesn’t follow through. anyway.. it’s gotten to a point where i’m realising i feel this strong disappointment/sadness like 80% of the time when im with him and i can’t carry on this way… but every time i bring up how im feeling it goes nowhere. i’ve gotten to a point where id be very sad but also glad to break up.. because even though i wish he were genuinely the person i met in the beginning, ive accepted that it’s not him and instead i met the version of him that was just filled with dopamine and masking his lack of relational care/experience. i constantly feel like he doesn’t like me that much, he doesn’t care about me, he’s just with me for convenience/comfort .. and on top of that i also recognise traits in him that im not at all proud of and am super unimpressed by. but i literally don’t know how to break up with him. i’ve brought my feelings up and he just argues the point and says sorry or something. a part of me wishes i could be brutally honest and say “i don’t want to be with someone who neglects me emotionally, or someone who lacks integrity or someone who shows bad character traits” but i have too much empathy to be able to say that. i fear if i were to break up with him and he would ask why.. my answer would be an ambiguous “im just not happy in this relationship”. the thing is i want to give him the chance to become aware and grow, because he says he wants to grow with me.regardless i wont wait around on someone’s potential. i just feel stuck. any advice appreciated.

hi! i’ve never had BV until maybe 3 months ago, likely caused by inserting a progesterone pill instead of swallowing (instructed by GP). i did some research and it seems the oils/encapsuling agents in the prometrium pill caused pH imbalance causing bv. anyway i got on top of it quickly and used a lactic acid boric acid cream inside my vagina and the BV went away within a week or 2. however since then my natural scent has changed. my whole life it’s been the same normal vagina scent, everyone’s is different obviously but i know my scent and it always smelt normal. now, it’s much more pungent and has almost a cheesy smell? it doesn’t smell unhealthy and i don’t have any symptoms so it feels, normal i suppose.. but i don’t like it. it’s not my natural scent. wondering if anyone else has experienced this and if there’s some kind of explanation or even a way to get back to my natural microbiome?

i’ve read a lot about frankincense’s benefits for skin tightening, and realising the huge difference between the resin and essential oil.
but when i try to find frankincense resin it seems to only come in the rock resin form and not a liquid form that can be mixed into a carrier oil.
how are we using frankincense resin for skin care? is there a way to infuse the rock resin into an oil? do you burn it down? hoping someone here has some answers :) TIA!

how far into your relationship did you tell your SO you love them? did they say it first or did you?
wondering what a “normal” time frame is, if it’s said too soon it’s a red flag.
as a 31F i’ve only ever had one guy tell me he loved me, and it was my ex which we had been together for a year at the time he said it to me.
recently i’ve heard a few friends talk about how their boyfriend said i love you for the first time at the one month mark, and im curious what the “average” is?

my ferritin has been below 30 for almost 10 years and i only just recently found out, i’ve had a whole list of symptoms and the most predominant / concern for me being hair loss.
i started taking hemaplex about 3 months ago and within 5 weeks noticed significant hair fall reduction, not entirely but a lot less was coming out. i ran out of hemaplex around then and was about to order more but realised i had ferrograd C which had 100mg of elemental iron as opposed to hemaplex at 85mg elemental (both have different forms though). i took ferrograd for probably 3ish weeks whilst i waited for another bottle of hemaplex to arrive because i knew hemaplex to be better all round.
i started taking hemaplex again and at about the 2 week mark switching back to hemaplex (after 3 or so weeks of ferrograd) my hair has started to fall out again.
my theory is that hemaplex was working for me and ferrograd wasn’t, and because i hadn’t yet built my ferritin up, my hair fall started again when switching to ferrograd (obviously hair fall has a lag of usually 6 weeks i think?).
does this sound like a reasonable theory? i can’t understand why else my hair would be falling out again. i did notice after a few weeks of hemaplex a lot of other symptoms like low energy and shortness of breath had disappeared and i felt amazing. which i’ve had low energy and shortness of breath again since the whole switch up, so it makes sense in my mind that ferrograd wasn’t working for me. but i’ve seen good reviews on here from people using ferrograd.
thoughts?

we all know the classic list of symptoms (cold, hair loss, fatigue, pale) but what are some lesser known symptoms you’ve experienced?

i’ll list mine, but for a bit of a back story,
i recently realised i’ve been chronically iron deficient for at least 10 years. i looked back on my labs and in all those years my ferritin hovered between 14 and 35 at max.

i’ve always looked after myself with diet and excercise and have always cared about being healthy, so generally avoid processed food and eat a nutritious diet. i was vegan for quite some time, and who really knows the cause of my low iron as i think it’s been many factors.. but what intrigues me is the long list of symptoms that i only recently discovered are *likely* iron deficiency related, that i could never understand. and i never considered iron deficiency because drs always told me my iron was “normal” (what garbage) and some of the classic deficiency signs, i didn’t really have. for example i’ve never been that pale, and was for the most part able to push through any fatigue, and didn’t feel cold all the time or crave ice.. or a few of the others things.

but the main symptoms i did/still do experience are:

-significant hair loss (i have thick hair, so most people wouldn’t even know i’ve lost a lot but it has been coming out in CLUMPS for years now)
- air hunger (ohhhh my gosh this has riddled me for years. i’ve had to cancel plans because i knew conversation would be hard because i was struggling to breathe).. this is probably the worst one. never being able to get a full breathe of air
- terrible circulation (constant fungal toenail or other skin infections which i’ve come to realise is from poor circulation)
- slow gut motility (i want to say constipation but, in classic constipation stools are dry and hard, mine are not, i just don’t get an urge to go and therefore end up going days without a BM despite regular excercise, hydration, fibre etc)
- lack of vitality in my overall look (under eyes, skin even though not pale, just looks … dead lol)
- dry skin
- premature aging (i tie this to lack of circulation.. and when you think of iron deficiency it’s really just, a lack of oxygen being supplied to all your organs so everything’s is slowly dying from being deprived)
- nail ridges
- eyesight decline (never had bad eyesight and within a year it’s significantly gotten worse.. could be other causes but starting to think it’s likely iron related)
- BRAIN FOG and low motivation even though i’m not a lazy person. i’m sooo motivated when im myself, but sometimes i get so down on myself because i don’t have the energy to DO anything i want to do)
- frequent infections (mainly skin, but also overall)

a few others but those are the main ones.

the one i’d be most curious to see if anyone else struggles with and has related to iron deficiency is the constipation.. it’s been a big struggle for me and has significantly impacted my life because i don’t feel good if i don’t have a daily BM.. so i often resort to herbal laxatives or am set in a whole morning routine which allows for a BM.. but i want to be a normal person who gets the urge to go to the bathroom without relying on anything.

we’ve been together a few months, so still early stages. i trust him, and i don’t think he’d lie to me about important matters and i don’t think he’d cheat on me. but.. he has a second toothbrush in his shower. he brushes his teeth with his actual toothbrush which is electric, and then he has this random other toothbrush which is in a case that sticks to the wall .. as though it’s used for teeth.. i asked him casually when we were showering why he has a second toothbrush and he said “to clean his balls”. i told him i don’t believe him there’s no way he does that, to which he didn’t say anything and we continued on with normal conversation.

so, i’ve come to ask men.. does this sound true, or like a lie?

if you were using a toothbrush to clean your balls.. wouldn’t it be like… a crusty old brush that’s not kept in a ‘cared for’ way? this toothbrush is kept in a case that sticks to the wall. and i’ve never heard of that even being a thing !?

edit: i am 31F and he’s 30M, he is my boyfriend.