u/ShiversTheNinja

I posted here about a month ago right after having my disability appeal hearing. I was really stressed and upset by the whole thing. But I just got the call from SSA that it's been approved! I have to wait another month or so for them to review my case and decide how much I'll be paid each month, but oh my god, I'm so relieved.

(As an aside, I've been really struggling mentally and physically the past couple of weeks, so I really needed this boost.)

I texted my mom and she just replied with a thumbs up emoji 😭 My friends are enthusiastic of course but I want to share this joy with more people so I'm posting here! ❤️

It was over the phone, and I thankfully had a lawyer representing me this time (last appeal, I didn't have one and had to represent myself due to reasons I'd rather not get into).

I was extremely anxious going in despite the fact my lawyer called yesterday to prep me with questions and advice about how to testify - namely I needed to go more in depth about the emotional/mental side of things.

The worst part was probably after my lawyer finished questioning me and the vocational expert was being questioned by the judge. The suggestions she made for potential careers for me made no sense and made me think she either wasn't listening and/or did not read any of the submitted documents and statements.

1. Collator operator. I'm dyscalculic and have chronic pain. The pain was discussed, dyscalculia was mentioned multiple times in the documents and statements.

2. Small product assembly. I also have pain in my hands which I am trying to get a referral to a rheumatologist for. This was discussed at length during the hearing.

3. Routing clerk. While I have a reasonably high IQ according to my assessment, I have some cognitive difficulties and get stopped up when it comes to problem solving. I also have no experience with this kind of thing and I think I would find it very overwhelming. Again, these things were discussed.

Fortunately things turned around when the judge asked if someone with the health problems I have (which basically put me out of commission for at least a week to two weeks total time a month) would be able to maintain a job. The vocational expert said no, no job in this day and age would tolerate that.

After the hearing my lawyer called me to discuss and said she thinks it went well and I'm likely to win. I really hope she's right. I am quite clearly not capable of working a job - my mom and I have been trying since I was a teenager to come up with something I could consistently do for money and nothing works and it gets harder every year as my health problems get worse.

That being said, in Washington state, the max I can get a month (if I am paying rent, which I'll have to start doing unless I want to lose a third of this total every month) is $994. There's no guarantee I will even get that much, and even if I did, that is not enough for me to reasonably live on if I ever want to move out on my own. In addition, I'm not allowed to have more than $2000 at a time so I can't even save up, realistically.

I worry a lot about the future. I rely on my mom for so much support wise even though I'm 35. She's not going to live forever, and our extended family is small and estranged. My friends are all over the internet and can't realistically help me much, they have their own struggles. So I have nowhere to go once my mom is gone and that scares me.

I don't really know where I'm going with this. I just needed to vent a bit and no one I can talk to is around so I thought I'd come here.

Thanks for reading if you bothered, lol. If no one does, that's fine too. I just needed to get some of these thoughts out of my head, you know?