u/SignificantActive193

Many letters I have written thus far.

I almost feel as if I should have stopped long ago.

For I have analysed every detail, thought every moment, felt every flame of desire. The cycles are routine to my minds structure.

Your smile, your emotion, the changing tones of your voice. They have anchored to the roots of my soul.

The way you gazed upon me was like no other. I could see the emotion in your eyes. But I could also see the emotion of your disappointment. I always felt for you. And it only deepened as I encountered you more.

It's the closest I've ever felt to believing in fate. I'll never forget seeing your name or merely cycling through the thoughts of you, to be randomly met with sights of wedding dresses on multiple occasions. Catching the glimmer of your eyes repeatedly. The sunshine parting through the clouds signalling my turn to see you walking by. Thinking I had seen the last of you, meeting you shortly after the thought. Believing there was no chance to see you at such a different time, only to be proven wrong. You always came back to me. We always came back to eachother.

You may have grown tired of me, but even still, my heart thinks of you as my destined love. You could never truly leave me now that you comfortably remain as a part of my very soul.

Sometimes I wonder, if you truly knew how much empathy & love I feel for you, would it re ignite how you once felt. Or perhaps those feelings lie dormant or have they faded.

I have felt love for many, but my heart wishes most to return to you. Love songs remind me of you. Couples remind me of you. My life reminds me of what I need to get through the day. Your image. Our connection. You. My destiny.

I love you wholeheartedly.

I find that I'm mostly attracted to females in day to day life.

The main reason I only ever started to feel attracted to men is because I saw some guys that had this short unshaven stubble look and I found it quite attractive for some reason. Can't explain why, I just did.

Im more inclined to be feminine in this type of thing so I'd love a masculine hairy guy. Love facial hair, body hair and being submissive to my guy. Hoping to embrace my feminine side by embracing your masculinity. I want to make my guy happy.

Many letters I have written thus far.

I almost feel as if I should have stopped long ago.

For I have analysed every detail, thought every moment, felt every flame of desire. The cycles are routine to my minds structure.

Your smile, your emotion, the changing tones of your voice. They have anchored to the roots of my soul.

The way you gazed upon me was like no other. I could see the emotion in your eyes. But I could also see the emotion of your disappointment. I always felt for you. And it only deepened as I encountered you more.

It's the closest I've ever felt to believing in fate. I'll never forget seeing your name or merely cycling through the thoughts of you, to be randomly met with sights of wedding dresses on multiple occasions. Catching the glimmer of your eyes repeatedly. The sunshine parting through the clouds signalling my turn to see you walking by. Thinking I had seen the last of you, meeting you shortly after the thought. Believing there was no chance to see you at such a different time, only to be proven wrong. You always came back to me. We always came back to eachother.

You may have grown tired of me, but even still, my heart thinks of you as my destined love. You could never truly leave me now that you comfortably remain as a part of my very soul.

Sometimes I wonder, if you truly knew how much empathy & love I feel for you, would it re ignite how you once felt. Or perhaps those feelings lie dormant or have they faded.

I have felt love for many, but my heart wishes most to return to you. Love songs remind me of you. Couples remind me of you. My life reminds me of what I need to get through the day. Your image. Our connection. You. My destiny. I love you wholeheartedly.

Navigating life is interesting. The world can lead you to new places, new people and new experiences. The cycles, the transitions.

But amongst all of that, there is always the circling motion of how I feel about that one girl. It seems strange at times, considering how much nicer others have been to me. I try to distract myself with the memories of others, surround myself with the distraction of noise. Keep myself busy with stimulating tasks. Eventually, silence returns and I am met with the same thoughts, the same memories that I keep alive, reflect and use as a basis to imagine. Even concentrating can feel challenging as daily life reminds me of you. I fall into daydreams of her almost constantly.

I am paradoxical. I wish to forget, but it feels so comforting and normal to carry the memory of her now to the point where a life without her memory would feel as if a black hole has left an empty void within my heart. She is no longer just another person. She is a part of my soul. It felt almost destined when I randomly saw her name on a sign shortly followed by a sudden turn to my right to see wedding dresses on display on my travels. Later remembering what I thought of as a funny coincidence, sarcastically thinking to myself how it could be possible that she would be my destiny, only to randomly turn again and see wedding dresses once again. I always thought that the memory of others would help and allow me to gradually move on from what one might call an obsession. All it did was offer blissful distraction before my mind returned to its natural state of bringing her back to me in spirit.

Emotions are conflicting, when you feel an unshakeable urge to reveal everything, only to be reminded of the evermore likely possibility that they no longer care, supported by their cold reaction to me. It can make you feel akin to a discarded old toy, when you remember the care that they once had to join together. I often think, I should feel hatred considering how she treated me, considering the respect and kindness that I showed her. It is impossible to remain in such conflict, when my heart only wishes to love them.

And so I wander and reflect with quiet disappointment and a simultaneous subtle gratitude for the comfort the happier memories give me. I wonder if I still feel love for her, or if I just feel love for the nostalgia of what it once was.

Nevertheless, we may move individually in this world, but I always carry her with me. I let her go, but my heart holds her close. The memory of her is not just a part of me. It's home.

Navigating life is interesting. The world can lead you to new places, new people and new experiences. The cycles, the transitions. But amongst all of that, there is always the circling motion of how I feel about that one girl. It seems strange at times, considering how much nicer others have been to me. I try to distract myself with the memories of others, surround myself with the distraction of noise. Keep myself busy with stimulating tasks. Eventually, silence returns and I am met with the same thoughts, the same memories that I keep alive, reflect and use as a basis to imagine. Even concentrating can feel challenging as daily life reminds me of you. I fall into daydreams of her almost constantly. I am paradoxical. I wish to forget, but it feels so comforting and normal to carry the memory of her now to the point where a life without her memory would feel as if a black hole has left an empty void within my heart. She is no longer just another person. She is a part of my soul. It felt almost destined when I randomly saw her name on a sign shortly followed by a sudden turn to my right to see wedding dresses on display on my travels. Later remembering what I thought of as a funny coincidence, sarcastically thinking to myself how it could be possible that she would be my destiny, only to randomly turn again and see wedding dresses once again. I always thought that the memory of others would help and allow me to gradually move on from what one might call an obsession. All it did was offer blissful distraction before my mind returned to its natural state of bringing her back to me in spirit. Emotions are conflicting, when you feel an unshakeable urge to reveal everything, only to be reminded of the evermore likely possibility that they no longer care, supported by their cold reaction to me. It can make you feel akin to a discarded old toy, when you remember the care that they once had to join together. I often think, I should feel hatred considering how she treated me, considering the respect and kindness that I showed her. It is impossible to remain in such conflict, when my heart only wishes to love them. And so I wander and reflect with quiet disappointment and a simultaneous subtle gratitude for the comfort the happier memories give me. I wonder if I still feel love for her, or if I just feel love for the nostalgia of what it once was.

Nevertheless, we may move individually in this world, but I always carry her with me. I let her go, but my heart holds her close. The memory of her is not just a part of me. It's home.

Because society is designed to keep you distracted in a long loop of hustle and grind that inhibits you from truly being free and creative. Now in my 20's i realise I like to change things up everyday. Not just the same routine, the same route, the same places. Some parts of it can feel comforting to return to, but it makes me feel more alive to have the freedom to put more variety into my daily structure. And society will do its best to stop you from having this freedom with all the paywalls that makes it much harder to just put yourself into new places and experiences. It can feel suffocating at times, but at the same time it almost gives me the urge to pack everything up, buy a one way ticket to a new place in the world and never look back, regardless of the outcome. It makes me wonder, is playing safe even worth it, when it might cost you your very soul itself? It's something I'm more tempted to do as the days pass. Why come back to sleep in the same box room, when I can live as far as my travels take me. Isn't that the way life was originally supposed to be? To wander, to explore. To be free.

I heard about this in a video and it was basically trying to say that if you don't, you're one of the nicer ones. But it just got me thinking back to a moment where someone wanted me to start a connection with them but I didn't know what was going on so I just kept to myself which got them frustrated but I continued to see them and if i tried to be friendly with them, she would ignore me and react to me badly. And I just think to myself, I didn't do anything bad to you, but you're acting like I did. It felt unfair but it's also kind of funny how people can look at you in certain ways when you don't even do anything to them.

More into hairy guys as its more masculine.

I'm particularly attracted to men that rock a bit of facial hair so if you prefer not to shave everyday or always have a beard I do quite like that.

Not just things that you like, but what makes a person who they are. The thoughts that drive their actions and reasoning that justifies it. The depth behind the surface level performative nature of society. The real, hopefully gentle side of you.

I would say the most common ones are

- people imitating what others say and do such as local dialect/slang words but can generally apply to a wider perspective such as the way people go about life in general.

- not paying much attention to surroundings due to phones, especially on public transport.

- expectations to fit in and do what's considered 'normal'

- people mostly only interact with people if they know them. Unless help is needed or they find someone attractive maybe.

- Adding onto the last one, I've noticed that in the western world, a lot of the girls/women I see in relationships usually look quite simillar in facial structure to the other women but the man is more likely to look different.

- Confident extroverts people are more likely to get ahead because they care less about ethics and being considerate.

- Also adding on to the previous point, in contrast, people that are more shy can fall short because they don't want to cross boundaries or come across a certain way to people.

- people can often jump to conclusions that someone might be a problem or danger based on pre conceived ideas about a particular type of interaction or life circumstance, even if no bad intention or signal was given in relation to their pre conceived idea.

- A lot of the population seems to have high opinions of themselves and like to believe that they're better than their actions & words might reveal.

- Furthermore, narcissistic bad people often think they're good.

- Society doesn't care much about individuals, but rather what they can provide and how useful they can be.

- People are drawn to people with money, status and general success according to the foundation layed down by the system.

Did I miss anything?