u/Significant_Crow6398

One of the struggles I have is wanting everyone to hear my experience and exposing this person for who they are behind closed doors. He is one of those guys that gets every girl and people literally worship him. It pisses me off that he is spreading rumors that I’m crazy and unstable and he’s just this innocent guy who gets targeted by crazy girls. I want to scream it from the rooftops but nothing works. He has sexually assaulted me and punched me before. It got to a point where it was so toxic we had physical fights because he triggered me so much that I snapped. I want to reach a point where I don’t care what people think of him but I just can’t. I just want everyone to “see” what I went through and know the truth.

I’m 27f and I’ve had a hell of a time trying to build a social life here the past 4 years. I’ve met people online but these connections tend to fizzle out even if we hit it off initially. There’s just no foundation to build off and it doesn’t progress. I don’t need a huge group but I wish I had more close connections that went beyond just grabbing a coffee or going out for drinks once a month. I’ve made slight progress but I’m still very unhappy with my social life here. I don’t have friends from school here and my office is mostly 40+ married folks. It’s just very isolating and I have to be honest I’m getting frustrated.

Hoping anyone can relate because it’s been a bit of a lonely summer seeing everyone go on group weekend trips and getting left behind.

I’m in a toxic situationship with my neighbor who is a textbook narc. From the beginning I just wanted it to be a one night thing but it’s become so toxic. At the beginning we would spend days straight together drinking, doing drugs, ordering food, sex, etc. but now he’s started chasing other girls again and isn’t shy about rubbing it in my face. He even shows me their perfectly curated instagrams and I have to act like I don’t care. He gets a ton of female attention bc he’s super tall and ripped and it gives him a huge ego but he wants reassurance 24/7. He used to say I was perfect and gorgeous then switch up and say I’m mid and would never date me within the span of one hour. He would ask me if I love him 1000 times but then act disgusted when I finally gave in and said I love him. He also is insanely jealous and obsessive but does nothing to keep me. I mentioned another guy over text and he blew up my phone saying he hated me, we’re done, etc. but then knocked on my door and manipulated me into coming over. But then once I was there he treated me like shit and said I’m lucky I even get to hang out with him and he could have another girl over in a minute once I tried to leave.

He knows he’s a piece of shit to girls and he said he love bombs and manipulates girls all the time. I’ve noticed he gets a new girl every few weeks that he fixates on before he moves on to a new shiny toy. It makes me feel like crap that im not good enough because all he cares about is how good they look on Instagram or if they have any kind of fame/following.

The weird thing is his roommate seems like a nice guy and he doesn’t have an issue with his behavior. The rest of his friend group are girls that are “like sisters to him” and that he would “never touch” but then he told me he’s hooked up with all of them on different levels. All of this info he told me without me even asking.

I never reach out to him first, it’s always manipulative texts like do you miss me, admit you love me, etc. and if I don’t answer the texts get more manipulative. He sees reels that I like on Instagram and sends them to me questioning why I liked it because he thinks everything is about him. And if I don’t watch his story he shows me it in person because he wants attention so bad. He has hit things around me and punched things near my head and it scares me.

I know I need to stop talking to him but it’s really hard. I also feel like being friends with his roommate isn’t possible because of how close they are and how much drama is in that group. I have gotten into drama with people I’ve never even met because of this guy and it gives me anxiety. I just want it to stop but I miss the love bombing too.

I’m in a toxic situationship with my neighbor who is a textbook narc. From the beginning I just wanted it to be a one night thing but it’s become so toxic. At the beginning we would spend days straight together drinking, doing drugs, ordering food, sex, etc. but now he’s started chasing other girls again and isn’t shy about rubbing it in my face. He even shows me their perfectly curated instagrams and I have to act like I don’t care. He gets a ton of female attention bc he’s super tall and ripped and it gives him a huge ego but he wants reassurance 24/7. He used to say I was perfect and gorgeous then switch up and say I’m mid and would never date me within the span of one hour. He would ask me if I love him 1000 times but then act disgusted when I finally gave in and said I love him. He also is insanely jealous and obsessive but does nothing to keep me. I mentioned another guy over text and he blew up my phone saying he hated me, we’re done, etc. but then knocked on my door and manipulated me into coming over. But then once I was there he treated me like shit and said I’m lucky I even get to hang out with him and he could have another girl over in a minute once I tried to leave.

He knows he’s a piece of shit to girls and he said he love bombs and manipulates girls all the time. I’ve noticed he gets a new girl every few weeks that he fixates on before he moves on to a new shiny toy. It makes me feel like crap that im not good enough because all he cares about is how good they look on Instagram or if they have any kind of fame/following.

The weird thing is his roommate seems like a nice guy and he doesn’t have an issue with his behavior. The rest of his friend group are girls that are “like sisters to him” and that he would “never touch” but then he told me he’s hooked up with all of them on different levels. All of this info he told me without me even asking.

I never reach out to him first, it’s always manipulative texts like do you miss me, admit you love me, etc. and if I don’t answer the texts get more manipulative. He sees reels that I like on Instagram and sends them to me questioning why I liked it because he thinks everything is about him. And if I don’t watch his story he shows me it in person because he wants attention so bad. He has gotten violent around me and has punched things near my head and it scares me.

I know I need to stop talking to him but it’s really hard. I also feel like being friends with his roommate isn’t possible because of how close they are and how much drama is in that group. I have gotten into drama with people I’ve never even met because of this guy and it gives me anxiety. I just want it to stop but I miss the love bombing too.

Started hanging out with my neighbor across the hall and he got me into coke. He puts it in a spray bottle with water and sprays it up his nose constantly and I started doing it. I did it last night and it burned the crap out of my nose and it usually doesn’t so idk what it’s even mixed with. I didn’t even enjoy it and now I’m paying the price at work with a pounding headache. I was having cravings the day before and I gave in. I really want to stop and idk why I keep doing it because isn’t stopped being fun a while ago. I finally felt better when I stopped for two weeks and didn’t see him for a few days when he was out of town. But now all the progress is gone. I don’t even think I like the drug I just like the excitement and danger. As corny and stupid as that sounds.

I don’t even drink before I do coke. The cravings are there even when I’m sober and I usually just do it sober tbh.

I am 99% sure I am dealing with a narcissist. He lives across the hall from me and I completely regret ever getting involved with him. For the past month we’ve been going on weekend benders and not seeing the sun for days. He has a huge ego and talks about all the girls he gets (he’s actually not lying) and how rich he is. He is super tall and muscular and is a trust fund kid so his ego is bigger than god. He is a heavy drug user (❄️) and got me back into using drugs. He uses it for his adhd but I think it also fuels his temper. Yesterday he got extremely angry and started slamming things and punched the bed right near my head. I’m literally half his size and I was shaking in fear. He said he would never hit me and got mad that I could think that way. But then he pretended to choke me for a couple seconds while laughing. He has threatened to harm people and gets insanely jealous if I bring up any other guys. He always says he could kill anyone and no one could beat him in a fight which is probably true. He will facetime people like his exes to trigger me but the one time I called a guy he got really down and depressed. It’s such a mindfuck.

In the span of thirty seconds he will say I love you, do you love me, you’re perfect, I don’t like anyone else (mind you he’s hooking up with multiple girls and brags about it) and the next minute he’ll say I hate you, would never date you, I don’t care if we never talk again, etc. He asked if I love him like fifty times yesterday and if I ignore him he just continues to spiral and says that I love him but won’t admit it. He always says he wants me to put him in his place and he hates when girls simp over him. But if I say something too mean he doesn’t take it well at all and turns it back on me.

He is in near constant contact with his exes and one of them is married. One thing that really gets under his skin is a girl that ended their situationship. He says he wants to ruin her life and start war with her whatever that means. I begged him to leave my roommate alone because she is afraid of him and he continues to blow up the group chat with her in it and told me he also wants war with her because she doesn’t like me hanging out with him.

I know the best thing I can do is ghost him but this whole thing is ruining my life. I need the drugs and I can’t get away. I don’t have feelings for him like that but obviously I’m attracted to him and it pisses me off when he brags about other girls. I also just resigned my lease when I was on drugs so I’m stuck here. My therapist refuses to see me because I need more help than she can give. I’m honestly becoming suicidal. He always says I warned you from the start and he admits that he love bombs. But I don’t think that excuses any of this.

I can’t comprehend how people without bpd view their relationships. How can they have casual relationships/friendships so easily? I have zero interest in making friends tbh and I think it shows. I hate saying this because it makes me sound like a “pick me” but I struggle hard with female friends. I can tell they don’t like me and usually avoid my texts and dodge hangouts. It’s happened three times in the past year so I know I’m part of the problem. I just want one favorite person not a bunch of shallow friendships but it seems like that’s all people want.

Even if a guy isn’t my boyfriend I just want our relationship to become a toxic obsession. It makes me feel more alive which is so messed up. I’m currently hanging out/hooking up with a neighbor across the hall and I can tell he’s becoming my fp. I don’t see him as relationship potential at all but I just want to form this toxic relationship with him. He’s very unstable and has a drama filled life. Drugs are also involved which just heightens everything. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that this all happened shortly after my therapist terminated me.

I’m scared I’m going to hurt myself or try to end it because I can see this going down a dark path quickly. I’m already back into doing drugs and this person is like poison to my life. I’m so lost and just letting everything spiral out of control.

I’m not sure if it’s just men on reddit but I keep seeing men saying if you can’t find a guy it’s just because you’re aiming out of your league. I honestly find this so annoying because I’ve been in long term relationships with very handsome, tall, intelligent guys from good families that have a lot going for them. And I’ve also been rejected/ghosted by men who are very clearly below my league in terms of looks. It’s like these men think that just because a guy is handsome he’s an evil manipulator and only will date a top model lmao. It’s almost like a persons looks don’t tell you everything about them and just because a guy has options doesn’t mean he’s that shallow. Not sure if it’s also a dating app issue because meeting in person has also yielded better results.

It’s like they think if we lower our standards and give these guys a chance it will solve all our problems and we’ll finally find a guy who will “choose” us. But my lived experience has been the complete opposite. The worst guys I’ve dealt with have been less attractive and the ones who treated me well had plenty of options.

Curious to hear others experiences because dating lately has been a mindfuck and these Reddit dudes are making me question myself

Queue the men coming in to downvote every comment haha

I can’t take the insane mood swings anymore. It literally feels like it’s taking years off my life and eventually I’m going to kill myself during my low moods. Usually it happens when a guy I’m into isn’t responding how I want I absolutely lose it and want to die. I feel a pain in my chest and I even get nauseous. It feels like the end of the world and nothing will make me feel better. Of course I always move on after a couple days and the cycle repeats with a new guy. Honestly sometimes I like when I’m on a “high” and I feel unstoppable. But it’s not sustainable when I crash and want to end it. I wish I could just live my life without having these mood swings. One notification or text can make me feel like the queen of the world or like I’m in the pits of hell. My whole fate and mood is in the hands of whoever I’m fixated on at that point in time. I just can’t take this anymore

I (27f) should have taken the hint when he (29m) rain checked our third date without proposing a new time but I hoped he was telling the truth about being busy. He’s in the medical field so I believed him and gave him benefit of the doubt when I normally wouldn’t. It’s just weird how he showed so much interest on our first two dates only to fade out. In person he would say I like you, when can I see you again, are you free this specific day etc. But after the second date he seemed different and more busy and still wasn’t asking me on another date. I even told him it’s totally fine if he doesn’t want to hang out again and that I wouldn’t be offended at all but he continually reassured me he definitely wanted to make plans again. Yet his replies got more and more dry and boring. At one point I just said cool story bro and he asked if I was mad. I told him I’d like to meet up again but that I’m leaving it up to him because I don’t know his schedule and he said that’s totally fair. Then he asked if I was free next Monday or Tuesday and I said Tuesday would probably work better for me. I never heard from him again and my last text went green so guessing he blocked me.

Lesson learned if someone tries to reschedule without proposing a new specific day 99% chance they aren’t interested no matter how good the dates were and even if they literally told you they like you. I just can’t wrap my head around stringing someone along for weeks and not just ending it when I gave him multiple chances to? Why not just rip the bandaid off instead of giving the other person false hope? Seems like more effort to drag out a situation you aren’t feeling anymore.

This isn’t the first time I’ve had what felt like a good connection from hinge go nowhere. They say the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result so maybe it’s time for me to quit hinge and try something new

I should have taken the hint when he rain checked our third date without proposing a new time but I hoped he was telling the truth about being busy. It’s just weird how he showed so much interest on our first two dates only to fade out. In person he would say when can I see you again, are you free this specific day etc. But after the second date he seemed different and more busy and still wasn’t asking me on another date. I even told him it’s totally fine if he doesn’t want to hang out again and that I wouldn’t be offended at all but he reassured me he definitely wanted to make plans again. Yet his replies got more and more dry and boring. At one point I just said cool story bro and he asked if I was mad. Then he asked if I was free next Monday or Tuesday and I said Tuesday would probably work better for me. I never heard from him again and my last text went green so guessing he blocked me.

Lesson learned if someone tries to reschedule 99% they aren’t interested

I went on a 48 hour bender with my neighbor and I feel horrible. This guy is an unstable drug addict who has a tendency to be violent and aggressive. He’s also a really big guy which makes his behavior even scarier. I knew it was a horrible idea as I was actively participating in it but I was so in need of connection that I did it anyway. The whole time he was doing drugs and acting absolutely crazy. He was threatening to beat people up and made it clear he wants to harm people and I’m pretty sure he was serious. He also convinced me to have unprotected sex which I would normally never do. I realize I made a huge mistake especially because he’s my neighbor right across the hall. I feel ashamed and I wish I could take it back. I don’t even know how to move on from this or what’s going to happen. He seems really unhinged and unpredictable and has tons of money at his disposal to buy drugs and go on crazy nights out. This was out of character for me and I feel like shit.