u/Significant_Crow6398

I can’t comprehend how people without bpd view their relationships. How can they have casual relationships/friendships so easily? I have zero interest in making friends tbh and I think it shows. I hate saying this because it makes me sound like a “pick me” but I struggle hard with female friends. I can tell they don’t like me and usually avoid my texts and dodge hangouts. It’s happened three times in the past year so I know I’m part of the problem. I just want one favorite person not a bunch of shallow friendships but it seems like that’s all people want.

Even if a guy isn’t my boyfriend I just want our relationship to become a toxic obsession. It makes me feel more alive which is so messed up. I’m currently hanging out/hooking up with a neighbor across the hall and I can tell he’s becoming my fp. I don’t see him as relationship potential at all but I just want to form this toxic relationship with him. He’s very unstable and has a drama filled life. Drugs are also involved which just heightens everything. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that this all happened shortly after my therapist terminated me.

I’m scared I’m going to hurt myself or try to end it because I can see this going down a dark path quickly. I’m already back into doing drugs and this person is like poison to my life. I’m so lost and just letting everything spiral out of control.

I’m not sure if it’s just men on reddit but I keep seeing men saying if you can’t find a guy it’s just because you’re aiming out of your league. I honestly find this so annoying because I’ve been in long term relationships with very handsome, tall, intelligent guys from good families that have a lot going for them. And I’ve also been rejected/ghosted by men who are very clearly below my league in terms of looks. It’s like these men think that just because a guy is handsome he’s an evil manipulator and only will date a top model lmao. It’s almost like a persons looks don’t tell you everything about them and just because a guy has options doesn’t mean he’s that shallow. Not sure if it’s also a dating app issue because meeting in person has also yielded better results.

It’s like they think if we lower our standards and give these guys a chance it will solve all our problems and we’ll finally find a guy who will “choose” us. But my lived experience has been the complete opposite. The worst guys I’ve dealt with have been less attractive and the ones who treated me well had plenty of options.

Curious to hear others experiences because dating lately has been a mindfuck and these Reddit dudes are making me question myself

Queue the men coming in to downvote every comment haha

I can’t take the insane mood swings anymore. It literally feels like it’s taking years off my life and eventually I’m going to kill myself during my low moods. Usually it happens when a guy I’m into isn’t responding how I want I absolutely lose it and want to die. I feel a pain in my chest and I even get nauseous. It feels like the end of the world and nothing will make me feel better. Of course I always move on after a couple days and the cycle repeats with a new guy. Honestly sometimes I like when I’m on a “high” and I feel unstoppable. But it’s not sustainable when I crash and want to end it. I wish I could just live my life without having these mood swings. One notification or text can make me feel like the queen of the world or like I’m in the pits of hell. My whole fate and mood is in the hands of whoever I’m fixated on at that point in time. I just can’t take this anymore

I (27f) should have taken the hint when he (29m) rain checked our third date without proposing a new time but I hoped he was telling the truth about being busy. He’s in the medical field so I believed him and gave him benefit of the doubt when I normally wouldn’t. It’s just weird how he showed so much interest on our first two dates only to fade out. In person he would say I like you, when can I see you again, are you free this specific day etc. But after the second date he seemed different and more busy and still wasn’t asking me on another date. I even told him it’s totally fine if he doesn’t want to hang out again and that I wouldn’t be offended at all but he continually reassured me he definitely wanted to make plans again. Yet his replies got more and more dry and boring. At one point I just said cool story bro and he asked if I was mad. I told him I’d like to meet up again but that I’m leaving it up to him because I don’t know his schedule and he said that’s totally fair. Then he asked if I was free next Monday or Tuesday and I said Tuesday would probably work better for me. I never heard from him again and my last text went green so guessing he blocked me.

Lesson learned if someone tries to reschedule without proposing a new specific day 99% chance they aren’t interested no matter how good the dates were and even if they literally told you they like you. I just can’t wrap my head around stringing someone along for weeks and not just ending it when I gave him multiple chances to? Why not just rip the bandaid off instead of giving the other person false hope? Seems like more effort to drag out a situation you aren’t feeling anymore.

This isn’t the first time I’ve had what felt like a good connection from hinge go nowhere. They say the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result so maybe it’s time for me to quit hinge and try something new

I should have taken the hint when he rain checked our third date without proposing a new time but I hoped he was telling the truth about being busy. It’s just weird how he showed so much interest on our first two dates only to fade out. In person he would say when can I see you again, are you free this specific day etc. But after the second date he seemed different and more busy and still wasn’t asking me on another date. I even told him it’s totally fine if he doesn’t want to hang out again and that I wouldn’t be offended at all but he reassured me he definitely wanted to make plans again. Yet his replies got more and more dry and boring. At one point I just said cool story bro and he asked if I was mad. Then he asked if I was free next Monday or Tuesday and I said Tuesday would probably work better for me. I never heard from him again and my last text went green so guessing he blocked me.

Lesson learned if someone tries to reschedule 99% they aren’t interested

I went on a 48 hour bender with my neighbor and I feel horrible. This guy is an unstable drug addict who has a tendency to be violent and aggressive. He’s also a really big guy which makes his behavior even scarier. I knew it was a horrible idea as I was actively participating in it but I was so in need of connection that I did it anyway. The whole time he was doing drugs and acting absolutely crazy. He was threatening to beat people up and made it clear he wants to harm people and I’m pretty sure he was serious. He also convinced me to have unprotected sex which I would normally never do. I realize I made a huge mistake especially because he’s my neighbor right across the hall. I feel ashamed and I wish I could take it back. I don’t even know how to move on from this or what’s going to happen. He seems really unhinged and unpredictable and has tons of money at his disposal to buy drugs and go on crazy nights out. This was out of character for me and I feel like shit.