u/Significant_Fall2451

I binged watched it over the weekend whilst recovering from illness, and whilst it wasn't my favourite, I did really enjoy watching a formerly kind woman turn very calculating. I did find myself wishing that the romance element had stayed a bit more sinister as part of her revenge mission, especially given his age.

I don't mind if there is a romance plot/subplot, I'm just looking for similar vibes

Long story short, I am quite severely physically disabled. I get enhanced PIP both elements because I need a lot of care and make use of many aids. I do not qualify for UC because my partner earns too much

I am in an abusive relationship. Whilst he does help me with many day to day tasks, he is also physically, emotionally, sexually, verbally, and financially abusive towards me. He also regularly uses the fact that does help with my medical needs against me, and holds it over my head or tells me I "owe" him now. I have experienced many sprains, fractures, broken bones, bruises, etc over the course of our relationship, and part of me does just tolerate it because of my medical needs and because I am a burden.

Yesterday, he strangled me. I was on the verge of completely passing out when he stopped, but I have been left with burst blood vessels all over my face, bruises on my throat and cheek, and bruises on my back from being slammed into something during the attack. I also have self-inflicted scratches all over my throat from frantically trying to claw his hands off. I genuinely thought that I might die, but because of other threats made involving my animals, I didn't call the police.

As part of my award hinges on relying on help, I am worried any attempts to leave will strip me of my award as it will prove I can do things alone or I am well enough to cope alone. I have no other income, and he made me sign everything over to his name, so I have no assets either. I don't know how I would survive with my complex medical needs and losing my award. My medicsl needs have not changed, and I still do need the same level of care. But after yesterday, a part of me is worried that I might actually die here if I don't go now. I've tried reaching out to local shelters, but they do not have the means to support someone as medically complex as myself nor ensure my animals' safety

I'm not sure if this is the right sub, but I also was hoping someone might be able to point me in the right direction in regard to domestic abuse and disability benefits

For context, I (30sF) have been in an abusive relationship for over a decade. The abuse includes sexual, physical, financial, emotional/mental, and verbal abuse, and has ranged from insults, blackmail, and verbal threats to rape, fracturing my jaw, breaking ribs, ripping out chunks of scalp with my hair, breaking the bones in my feet.

Yesterday he (30sM) started a fight. He had broken the door leading from the kitchen to the garden by repeatedly slamming it. I was in a different part of the house at the time. I came to see what was wrong, and he started blaming me, and saying I was the one who broke the door. He was shouting at me, getting aggressive, and doing his standard technique of denying having done anything and insisting it was in my head/I was actually responsible. He had a bottle of water in his hand, and kept waving it in my face. I snapped and tipped the bottle out of his hand. 90% of it actually ended up on my, and the remaining 10% went on the floor.

He responded by hitting my face into the wall, and then grabbing me with both hands around the throat, slamming my back against the dining table, and exerting as much force as he could into choking me. My vision started going black, and it felt like I'd been dunked underwater and was being pulled down. Everything felt wet and muffled. I started clawing at his hands to try and get free, and the second I felt like I was going to pass out and started going slack, he let go. I felt dizzy and sick, and he shoved his hand in my face and said how badly I had hurt and scratched him, and that was abuse.

He started screaming at me to clean the mess up, and saying I had gone too far. He said I was the aggressor and denied shouting at me and blaming me for something I didn't do. He took a step towards me with his fist raised, and before I even knew what I was doing, I told him if he touched me again, I would grab him by his hair and hurt him back. I know I shouldn't have done that, and it makes me guilty of abuse too, but I had this really horrible gut feeling that if I didn't do something, I was going to die. I can't explain it other than my brain/mouth moving for me whilst my body was screaming that he was going to kill me. When I snuck downstairs later to get some ice for my throat about 4am, I noticed that there was the biggest of our kitchen knives on the table right next to where he was stood. I guess I maybe subconsciously saw it and that's what that feeling was? I'm not sure.

I have a swollen cheek, bruising on my cheek and under eye, burst blood vessels in one of my eyes, redness and swelling on my throat, some light bruising on my throat, bruises forming on my back from hitting the table, and quite deep self-inflicted scratches from trying to get him to let go. In the hour since it happened, I vomited three times, and I still have some difficulty swallowing. Shamefully, when I was cleaning myself up, I also noticed I had peed myself

I know i shouldnt have tipped the water over, but it felt like everything I have endured over the years came spilling over and I was so frustrated about it being shoved in my face whilst I was blamed for something I didn't do.

I managed to sleep in a different room last night, though I didn't sleep much. I emailed a domestic violence charity and they sent over some information regarding risks associated with strangulation, and a list of symptoms to look out for as fatal complications can occur weeks after the event. Today, he came up to me and demanded I apologise to him. He says being "disrespected" is worse than strangling me. I made a comment about having to prioritise my safety, and he said that my number one priority I have should be apologising to him. He is also trying to say that the door conversation didn't happen, and I "violently attacked him out of nowhere" by tipping the water. He said that he reacted "normally" and that it was my fault.

It feels very hopeless. I am housebound with severe medical issues, and a disability that requires a lot of complicated care and limits my physical ability to actually leave the house. I have reached out to multiple charities over the years, and none of them can accommodate my needs or medical equipment. The closest one is an hour and a half away, but I physically cannot get there because of said disability and equipment. I also have pets, which I inherited from a loved one when they passed away. Finding somewhere to put them is also another difficulty. At his and his wealthy family's insistence when we moved in together, everything is solely in his name, and due to disability I have very little income and no savings, and when I moved to be with him (before the abuse started) it meant moving away from friends and family so I'm pretty isolated. Even if none of that was an issue, I know he does watch the Ring doorbell and monitors me. I know that because he once unexpectedly grilled me when I had to go out for a doctors appointment.

I do blame myself and feel bad for the water thing and the way I spoke to him afterwards, but I find it frightening that not only has he been trying to gaslight me about who started it (aka, me for the door I didn't break) but he is also 100% convinced that some water going on the floor is worse than strangling me. You can see he absolutely believes that to be true and keeps insisting that my friends, family, the police, etc would side with him and agree.

I'm starting to doubt myself now, and I don't know if he is right and it is all my fault. This isn't the first time he strangled me, but it is the first time he has used that much force and it felt like I might die. Most of the time, he relies on emotional, verbal, and mental abuse (or financial abuse). For example, a few days ago I had a bad chest infection related to my health issues. Air-conditioning makes it worse, so I asked if we could turn it off just long enough for me to try and eat without having a coughing fit, and then we could turn it straight back on. He rolled his eyes and called me a stupid bitch. Berated me for an hour. Followed me upstairs and continued to call me names. That's pretty standard for the way he usually treats me. Then, it's like he snaps, treats me nicely for a few hours or days, and then it's back to normal. The physical and sexual violence is a lot more unpredictable, and it can be provoked from events like yesterday where it was my fault or something as simple as asking him to sort the recycling (which is how I ended up with a fractured jaw). It makes me feel more anxious, because I never know how to anticipate it. Because I am housebound and don't live close by to friends or family, it makes it a lot easier for him to hide when he does blow up, as I'm almost never seen with fresh injuries

Sorry for the vent post. I have no one I can talk to.

I 30sF have been stuck in an abusive relationship with 30sM for over a decade. In that time I have endured physical, sexual, mental, financial, and emotional violence to various degrees ranging from threats and blackmail, to a broken jaw, ripped out scalp, concussions, rape, and broken ribs. I have never retaliated against him

Today, he broke the lock on the door that leads into the garden. He then tried blaming me for it, even though he was the one who used it multiple times after the last time I used it (and it was in working order) and had slammed it multiple times since. He was repeatedly saying I broke it, that it was my fault, that it was fine when he touched it last, and I was the one who broke it. As I said, it made no sense as I came back inside a while before he did, and during the time I was sat inside he went in and out multiple times since, slamming the door each time. The blame shifting and lack of accountability is also normal with him. "That's not true" and "that's bullshit" are everyday things to come out of his mouth whenever anything he has done has been pointed out

Whilst he was blaming me and berating me, he was waving his bottle of water in front of my face. Something in my snapped, so I grabbed it out of his hand and tipped it on the floor by our washing machine. I know I shouldn't have done it, but it was like everything he had ever done to me snapped in a moment of frustration

He responded by grabbing me hard by the throat with two hands, and squeezing with as much force as he could muster. During the struggle, he slammed my back hard against the table, and also managed to hurt my cheek somehow. I don't remember how that happened, but my cheek is red, swelling, and I can see a bruise forming. I was trying to fight my way out of his grasp, and my vision started going black. It also felt like I had started wading through water and everything felt muted and distant. I started clawing frantically to try and get him to let go

Right as I felt like I was going to slip all the way under, he let go. He then showed me his hand and said how badly I had hurt and scratched him. He started screaming at me to clean the mess up, and saying I had gone too far. He said I was the aggressor and denied shouting at me and blaming me for something I didn't do. He took a step towards me with his fist raised, and before I even knew what I was doing I told him if he touched me again I would grab him by his hair and hurt him back. Again, I knew I shouldn't have done that. But I had this really horrible gut feeling that if I didn't do something, I was going to die. I can't explain it other than my brain/mouth moving for me whilst my body was screaming that he was going to kill me

Since then, he's been calling me the aggressor for starting the argument by spilling the water, completely ignoring him berating me and verbally attacking me for something I didn't do, and has said repeatedly that he thinks that his water being spilled is worse than strangling me to the point I was on the knife edge of passing out, and that his reaction was "less than proportional"

I have a swollen cheek, burst blood vessels in one of my eyes, redness and swelling on my throat, bruises forming on my back from hitting the table, and self inflicted scratches from trying to get him to let go. In the hour since it happened, I have also vomited three times and I am having some difficulty swallowing. Shamefully, when I went to clean myself up afterwards (most of the water ended up on me), I noticed I had peed my pants a little. I don't remember doing that either

I know i shouldnt have tipped the water over, but it felt like everything I have endured over the years came spilling over and I was so frustrated about it being shoved in my face whilst I was blamed for something I didn't do.

I have nowhere to go. I am housebound by quite severe disabilities so I physically cannot get out, and everything is solely in his name so I don't have any money. I don't live close to anyone else after moving to be with him years ago before the violence started, and no shelters can physically accommodate the severity of my health issues. I have asked multiple times after big milestones like broken bones and being raped, but my needs are so complicated they are stuck. I also have animals who I would need to bring with me, and they would not be able to come to a shelter.

I do blame myself and feel bad for the water thing and the way I spoke to him afterwards, but I find it frightening that not only has he been trying to gaslight me about who started it (aka, me for the door I didn't break) but he is also 100% convinced that some water going on the floor is worse than strangling me. You can see he absolutely believes that to be true.

I'm starting to doubt myself now, and I don't know if he is right and it is all my fault

Sorry for the vent post. I have no one I can talk to.

I (33F) have a fairly serious chronic illness, and despite trying my best to be safe, I ended up catching covid whilst in hospital 3 years ago. It wasn't a severe case, so I was discharged from the surgical unit as I would have been normally and told to rest at home

Most of the severe symptoms cleared up within about 8 weeks, but I have had a persistent, dry cough since catching covid. Some days it's so bad I can barely talk without coughing my way through it, some days it's just an annoying tickle. Things like my general health, the weather, and physical exertion seem to influence how severe it is going to be that day. I experience a tickling sensation in the base of my throat and a tight sensation near my sternum and where my throat meets my chest. My other major symptom is intense chronic fatigue, but I don't know how much of that is also my chronic illness (though it definitely got noticably worse post-covid)

My GP has been quite dismissive and said "it happens" post-covid. I have tried several times over the years to get help, but when initial blood tests came back clear and he said my chest sounded clear upon examination, it was sort of written off and treated like I was being a hypochondriac. Where I live, the system makes it hard to just change doctors because we simply don't have the options, and I've had a lot of trauma from being accused of "doctor hopping" and drug seeking when I initially became ill with my chronic illness. I was treated like a problem and not believed until it quite literally nearly killed me and I was emergency hospitalised in need of life saving care. I don't want to be flagged in the system again, because I know first hand how that can then negatively impact all sorts of medical care. I'm worried that if I do try and switch doctors or make a formal complaint, my current GP will put a note in the system again and it make impact treatment for my chronic illness

I feel like 3 years is an extremely long time to have a cough and no help, and part of me does worry it's something serious but I'm not being listened to. Frankly, I don't know how to talk to my GP in a way that will actually have my concerns heard, as I have tried multiple times in several different ways to no avail

I was also wondering if anyone had any tips for symptom relief, even if only temporary? It feels like my abdomen is constantly bruised and sore from the coughing, and on the bad nights I am barely sleeping. Even if I pass out from exhaustion, I wake myself up coughing the moment I move in my sleep. My GP told me to take an OTC cold and flu pill, but they do absolutely nothing. I'm having a pretty major surgery soon (cystectomy) and I'm genuinely quite scared about recovery because I know coughing whilst healing is going to be a nightmare

Thanks in advance

I sent my PIP review forms back on April 22nd, April 23rd I got confirmation that they had recieved my paperwork, and on April 23rd I recieved the following text which I double checked on here to mean I had undergone a paper-based review:

>About your PIP review. The health professional has sent us their report.

We will make a decision on your PIP, but it may take 6 weeks before you hear from us. You will continue to get PIP while your award is being reviewed.

You only need to contact us if your circumstances change.

I haven't heard any from the DWP since, and I've been trying to anxiously wait for the confirmation. I was previously on enhanced for both following my initial tribunal, though usually I have had to fight at MR to maintain that award as it was usually lowered at review. For context, I have a degenerative disease, CPTSD, and GAD. I rely on PIP payments to fund treatments that were not approved on the NHS due to high cost. Because of those treatments, I like to call the phoneline somewhat regularly to make sure my payments continue so I can still afford to fund them privately.

My most recent PIP payment was yesterday, which was my usual award. I'd called last week to confirm it and the phoneline worked the same as always. But when I called this morning, I did not get the automated payment information and was instead transferred straight to hold to speak to an advisor. I've tried calling again twice since, and both times I was put on hold straight away and did not get the automatic payment information.

Unfortunately, I don't have a valid photo ID, so I can't check my proof of benefits online. Both my passport and my drivers licence expired a few years ago, and due to my physical disability I rely on my partner being able to take me to the Post Office to renew it. Between him not finishing work until after the post office closes, and my treatment taking place most Saturdays, it's been a case of bad luck in being unable to do it and now that's coming back to bite me.

I assume that the lack of payment information means I've lost my award? I saw others on a different forum say that if you don't hear anything, it means there isn't information to hear, which is disheartening. I had naively assumed that I would probably have at least had a face to face or telephone assesment before they decided to reduce/remove my award, but realistically I know the DWP can do what they want

I guess I just wanted clarification that this is likely the case, as these treatments do cost several hundred pound a month and I'm going to need to reduce/taper off them for now if my payments have been stopped. I will almost certainly call the DWP tomorrow and request my assessors report (I know I should have done it sooner, but I had felt a little bit more reassured when I found out I'd had a paper review) and try and speak to someone, but I know that the people at the call center don't always have all the information/can't tell us. I'd call again today, but my nerves are shot now and I'm not sure I could handle it

Sorry for the long post. Just trying to gather more information so I can decide how I'm going to proceed in terms of cancelling/reducing my treatments