u/Silly-Training-332

Going to keep it short. Together 4 years. Dead relationship I ended it, partner had some verbally abusive/emotional tendencies that really were going full force during the break up. Insane levels of harassment, accusations, sleep deprivation, making up narratives. Got out 2-3 weeks ago. Blocked him cause every day was just an excuse to text me like “oh do u have this thing of mine?” Everything for the most part sorted out between us so I just needed a break and blocked and if there’s anything else we could deal with it later if he gets his head straight.

Last night I thought I heard someone at my apartment but just wrote it off as neighbors making noise. Came to my door this AM to find some of my belongings and a note stuffed in there that says “no one lasts forever”. A little bizarre and alarming I still don’t think he would actually harm anyone but I did unblock him to tell him I will be calling the police next time, and will be documenting and posting these things. I reinforced he is not welcome to my apartment and put him back on block.

I’m just a little nervous bc at this point I thought he would kind of be mellowing out and I have really been enjoying the peace of being out of there. He lives right around the corner from me I just want to be left alone.

I’ll try to keep it short but it’s gonna be a little lengthy.
Tl;dr: I broke up with my boyfriend of 4 years and don’t feel sad about it at all

My first “real” (not really) relationship I was groomed by a 24 year old when I was 17 and that lasted until my early 20s. It took a lot of therapy to cope with that and recognize the way my childhood impacted my dating choices and what I perceived as love. Anyways got out of that and into something new at 25 with someone closer to my age and a decent human being. He def had some red flags I missed and toxic traits but it was so much better than my previous experiences. For the first few years I was convinced this was it but over time and after we bought a house together the cracks started growing. He had a nasty habit of making accusations whenever he was actually mad and aside from that we were constantly having communication issues. Long story short, last year in May I knew the relationship was pretty much over I tried everything, couples therapy, changing my approach, continuing my own therapy. Nothing worked. It basically came down to him never wanting to do anything I wanted to do, no sexual relationship and I would basically come in his room everyday and ask to spend time with him and nothing would ever change. I held on for a few extra months since he lost his job and I didn’t want to put him in crisis.
About 3 weeks ago he pushed me to the edge so I snapped and ended it. He refused my explanation and started exhibiting BIZARRE behavior along with accusing me of being manipulated, making him feel unsafe, switching up on him, he called me a nazi and a dumb valley girl and pretty much accused me of colluding with every male I know to fuck him over. It got to the point where a car would pull up and he thought it was someone I knew or had asked to come by the house? Anyways, all that to say I expected to feel a twinge of sadness but given all the time I spent alone processing it and his behavior I feel absolutely nothing and it just kind of sucks to spend so much time with someone, it ends, and it’s like….why was I even there in the first place? That’s it just wanted to share my feeling i suppose this is my first real adult breakup where i can competently navigate it without losing control of my emotions but, yeah.

I’ve been through a few relationships now and what comes down to ruining it all is men being babies basically.
When I was a young adult I had to mother a man 8 years my senior until I finally left that, somehow ended up dating an alcoholic without even realizing it, and now here today 3 years into a relationship I feel like I’m in the same spot I always end up in

Dude didn’t have time for me or the house when he had a job

Dude has been unemployed for 6 months and STILL doesn’t have time for me plus continues making comments about his financial status benefitting me.

Doesn’t wake up before 9, cant make dinner without it taking a whole 8 hour shift

Home all day but somehow nothing is cleaned or done

I have to constantly follow up, remind, make very specific and clear request and still follow up.

The past week between work and even my days off I’ve been cooking, cleaning, just DOING things that need to be done until I go to bed. I came home at 7 last night from my long shift and made myself dinner and went to bed. Last night was trash night and he defiantly did not take it out because I told him I’m tired of being the only one that can handle and manage being an adult, mind you I just had to buy this asshole shoes because all I ever hear about is how he needs clothes and shoes but never actually does anything to get them.

It is just wild to me I can come home to an unemployed man and he acts as though I expect too much of him as if he has any real obligation on his schedule. I’m getting so frustrated.

Hey friends anyone know the closest place to town to snag some decently priced berries? Or wherever a close by figured I’d ask instead of burning my gas. No answers saying central market

Basically I hate Mother’s Day because mom was shit and I don’t have a relationship with her.. On top of that I’m a woman who can’t have children.

None of this is news to my partner. I did assume they would be aware of this and also that they had their own plans with their mother.

When I asked them about their plans they had told me their mother was expecting me as they told her that I did not have plans. This of course upset me.

When I told them I would not be joining I was asked to text mother to wish a happy Mother’s Day and “explain why I wouldn’t be coming” so they did not have to tell their family and so that the family “would not believe them and think I hate them” this family has known me for 5 years

I did not understand my partner could not handle this on their own. I did not appreciate having to resolve an issue I did not create or even see why my being there was such a big deal. I have been trying to explain to my partner things are already difficult for me right now and I was looking forward to being alone and enjoying a regular day. They say they understand but…idk how they ever could and it does not feel like they even try to it feels more like they are telling me to get over myself and buck up

They could not understand and when I capitulated told me we had resolved the issue in the “healthiest way possible” and compromised. They thanked me for making “things less stressful for them”.

Ok guys, I’ve posted about this before but I don’t think I was specific enough. I’m getting friction burn on my genitalia but only when I do posting trot without stirrups. God my crotch just slams down on the saddle 😭

I think is related to being on a forced break and losing what little upper body strength I have, I could feel my top half floppin around throwing my seat off but lord almighty my poor flower can’t take it anymore

I’m only able to ride lesson horses with the saddle provided to me, I did look into the ortho gel seats—but I was hoping there may be an underwear I could try?

Some of you can be really mean for whatever reason so please if you have nothing nice to say don’t say anything at all. Yes, I will be working on my strength and seat and riding more. unfortunately I do not have unlimited time and money to commit to riding as much as I would love that it’s just not the reality of my situation.