Can’t find joy in life anymore
Ok so in April I like greened out had the worst panic attack of my entire life (first panic attack) and it caused me to develop panic disorder. I used to have a great time with friends, had no problems at parties or going out always drank and had a good time. I am a sophomore in college now and almost every day I have the worst physical symptoms. I look at people doing fun things and think to myself man if I did that I would be so anxious I’m like jealous of all the people around me because they can just live life anxiety free and I’m over here having panic attacks for no reason at all feeling like I’m going to faint. Obviously I have fun but it’s nowhere near how I used to. Every time I go to do something I think “what if I get anxious or have a panic attack” and I just wanna be like how I used to be. I’m in therapy and got prescribed propranolol and I’m too scared to even take it. When does this get better? I just wanna be myself and have fun again it sucks my life was amazing until college and now I just am scared I am always anxious and it genuinely controls my life what can I do to get better? Will I ever even feel normal again?