u/SinkyBundleOfRage

I'm 33F and have always attended the cervical screening (smear test) when my GP sends the reminder. I figure it won't hurt. They always provide a female nurse, and I don't have any issues physically with the procedure. But I still would rather not be naked from the waist down spread eagle in front of a stranger, even if it's a woman.

And here's the thing: I have only ever been with my husband, and he's only ever been with me. We are each other's first and only, sexually. We've been together since we were 15. Neither of us ever did anything with anyone else, not even hand stuff or mouth stuff.

I tried to explain this to my GP, that because of this I have no reason to attend the cervical screening. That there is no way I caught (or even passed) anything from/to him - but she dismissed me and said basically to just do it you never know. I suspect she thinks my husband could have cheated (he hasn't and I'm 10000% sure of it. But she still won't listen, which I get, I'm sure she's seen all sorts of things).

The next time I get an invite for the cervical screening, can I just decline? Is my reasoning correct, based on my sexual history?

Hello! Today I was reflecting about the fact that I get very enthusiastic and excited when i see/experience something I really love (like hedgehogs in a London park, or a new ice-cream place that I love) or find a new favourite secret spot in the city, or even a monthly stand up comedy club at a nearby café. And I get really excited and talk about going back so enthusiastically and I'll go on and on for like 5 minutes on how great this new thing is and what exactly I love about it. But then, without failure, I get shut down with "okay, we *get it* " and lots of eye rolls. Or again, the people I share this with don't seem to get my hype and minimize it and shut me down immediately, or they "shit on it" trying to say how they don't see how I can like it, that it's "shit" or that "it sucks". And it hurts me so, so much.

I wanna let it go and not let it get to me, and I keep thinking that I'm a grown ass woman in my 30s and to stop overreacting, but i keep hurting and feeling sad on how my "little special thing" has been shut down and described as "shit" and I can't help but feel sad and depressed about it. And when I voice my upset I am told to grow up and just let it go that it's not that deep.

But I can't help but hurting. So I just keep my mouth shut and don't share with anyone when I find something or some place i really like, because I know I'll get shut down.

Edited to add: some of the people in the reply are just ... Not very nice. Not at all. If you think talking positively for 5 minutes is too much and annoying after my so-called friend just vented at me for 30 minutes, basically using me for free therapy and refusing to reciprocate the courtesy of listening....? Yeah, no thanks. You're not nice.

Hello everyone. My husband got snipped back in February and yesterday he finally sent the sample for testing. (We're based in London UK and did it through MSI choices).

My question is, as the sample is sent via Royal Mail Tracked 48h, and we're currently in a 32°C heatwave, can the sample be affected by the extreme heat?

The sample was posted via royal mail letterbox which is metal and I cannot imagine how hot it is in there. posted on Monday morning, super hot. Royal mail received it today, again super hot. Then handled, stored and transported through the royal mail network, again super hot conditions - should reach the lab on Wednesday I guess (super hot day again).

As I know extreme heat can kill sperm, I am worried that he may get a "false negative" (as in, no "swimmers detected" as they were basically cooked in the heat....) and then I'd be at risk of pregnancy in case the result was "false".

Should we wait for the heatwave to be over and book a new sample test? Has anyone else been in this situation?

Please advise, thank you so much.

Writing this as I rest between sets because it's absolutely absurd and I gotta vent.

There is a woman with her child, who looks to be about 9-10 years old. A SMALL child. In the free weights area, "playing" with small 1kg dumbbells while his mum is doing her own workout. In a busy gym with adults doing exercises with heavy weights all around.

I called one of the staff members, who then told her the child needs to wait at the reception area.

I am beyond shocked. What the actual *fuckity fuck* .

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It's hot in London this week, and about to get even hotter, and somehow when the temperature rises so does the audacity of London dudes.

I walk to work every day (it's a 45 minute walk) with headphones on, sunglasses and a resting bitch face. I just want to listen to my podcast and be left alone on my way to the office.

This morning I got stopped in front of a Sainsbury's Local at 7.03am by a guy saying: "I'm sorry to disturb you (no you're not) but I was walking to the gym (obviously trying to let me know he works out) and I saw you and I had to approach you because you're very attractive and -" I cut him off mid sentence with "thanks but I'm also very married" and walked off.

20 minutes later a man in a delivery truck starts doing that thing where he they go "ooooooof and whistled at me from the truck". 10 minutes after that another random man in the parking lot of the supermarket near my office gave me what I call the "x-ray scan" looked at me slowly from head to toe back to head again and said something (didn't hear because again, I had my headphones in).

I am sick and fucking tired. I just want to exist in peace and commute in peace. I am not even wearing anything revealing - not that it would matter! But I'm dressed fairly "normal" with normal top (no cleavage on show) and a midi skirt below the knees. Very plain.

I have a massive RBF and headphones in. What makes you think I wanna be approached. Jesus fucking Christ this is exhausting.

Edited to add: to the one person who commented "just be ugly, problem solved": Be so fucking for real, mate. Be for real. Like that ever makes a difference. You think only models get harassed? Women in full face coverings and modest clothing get harassed. GIRLS who are clearly underage get harassed. Women with all kind of looks shapes and sizes get harassed. It has nothing to do with traditional beauty or your outfit, and all to do about them asserting dominance and showing you that they see you like an object they can play with. It seems to me that you have a lot of internalised misogyny.

I recently saw the movie Backrooms, and while I did enjoy it generally speaking, I struggled to understand the "moral of the story". I was discussing the movie with my husband (who I also suspect is on the spectrum) and we both were like: okay, but what was the movie trying to *teach* ? Is it a commentary on mental health? Is it more of a sci-fi horror? What is the movie actually *about* ?

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I find myself always looking for the moral of the story, for the "hidden meaning or metaphor", thinking that I must have missed it somehow.

And I think in reality sometimes movies are just a story, plain and simple, without an ulterior message or motive or trying to "teach us a lesson though parabole".

But my brain is always looking for the subtext, for the hidden message.

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Is this that NDs usually do? Is it because we do this in real life interactions and therefore apply it to fiction entertainment?

JOJOBA OIL 🪔

I'm 33F, very few friends (they're more acquaintances than friends) and basically one only good friend (39F, NT) aside from my husband.

Normally I get along with her fantastically, same sense of humour, we just laugh a lot and talk about all sorts of things. I thought we have the same values and similar interests, we met through a recreational sports team.

She has been struggling with her flatmate who is, admittedly, a bloody nightmare in many areas (rude, dirty, leaves the house in complete filth, expects my friend to do all of the housework despite her basically just sleeping at the house because she works 16 hours a day - she's in law enforcement). I always listen to her vent about the flatmate and what a terrible person they are and most of her concerns sound valid. (I'd hate to live with someone like the flatmate).

But recently she started saying stuff like "god, they are so fucking autistic it's disgusting" and also she showed me conversations of her with a website where she vents about the flatmate being "so fucking autistic oh my fucking god they needs to be less autistic" and it genuinely distresses me to no end.

Yes, the flatmate is a slob, yes they need to stop farting out loud in the shared areas and clean after themselves and clean the toilet after using it! But NO, them being autistic is not the reason why they are a bad flatmate! We also don't really know if they are on the Autistic spectrum, although it is possible because they have been diagnosed with ADHD years ago. But we don't know for sure, she is just speculating.

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I haven't told her that I have been recently diagnosed, because:

1. i already know she's gonna go on a spiel about how I'm not really autistic though, because I function well and have a stable job and relationship and I don't *look* autistic blah blah blah

2. she made it quite clear what her opinion of autistic people are, she sometimes even used the R- word to refer to the flatmate, so...

I'm quite hurt. She is (was?) my only close friend.

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She has now moved to a different town but keeps in touch occasionally via text. I don't know what to do. Do I reply? Do I ghost her? Ignore her messages? Let it fizzle out?

I am not looking for a confrontation (I am extremely anti confrontational and it would also achieve nothing, she's very set in her beliefs). At the moment I feel like I should just "disappear" from her life and be done with it.

But I can't help but feel like "I cannot even have this one nice thing, damnit, I thought i finally found one friend!".

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Have you got any advice? Also have you ever experienced something like this?

(apologies in advance if the flair is not the correct one).

I'm 33F. Ever since I was a kid, I have always been told by my parents that I'm too "sensitive to other people's behaviour towards me" and "take it too personally" and "let it get to me too easily and should instead let is slide". The word they used (because I'm Italian) is "permalosa" which sort of translates to "thin skinned".

I never understood why instead they couldn't tell me that I am right to be upset or cry if another child is rude or dismissive towards me. It was always me being too sensitive and having to toughen up, instead of other kids learning not to be little shits to me.

This "thin skin" issue seems to have carried on to adult me - because of course it has.

If someone is short or a little rude towards me, it hurts me a lot because I keep thinking "I was so polite to them, I always make a conscious effort to be kind to everyone". And then I mull things over for days on end about that one time that colleague replied in a curt manner to me for no reasons at all.

I am constantly making a point of being kind and polite to everyone, even strangers - because god forbid I offend someone and what if they're already having a bad day, etc.

I genuinely cannot understand if I am the one who is too sensitive, or if NTs tend to be too curt/short with people in general.

I wish I had tougher skin but I just don't. To make matters worse, because of the way I look (shaved head, piercings, alternative clothing sometimes) people tend to think I'm a "tough cookie" when in reality I am the softest marshmallow of a woman you can possibly find 🥺

Hello. I'm 33F and finally got diagnosed a few weeks ago. I'm what some would call "low needs". I'm pretty high functioning in a workplace setting, have a good career and doing well at work.

I'm not sure if I should tell my parents. My sister knows of my diagnosis.

My mum specifically has quite a bit of stress going on recently due to some problems with house renovations and my sister moving out at the same time. She's very stressed.

I live abroad and I think I'll visit in September for a couple of weeks. I don't know if I should tell my parents.

Scientifically, they would accept it (they're very "scientific" and absolutely believe in modern medicine, my mum is a biologist so I'm not worried about any of that "iT wAs ThE vAcCiNeS" stuff, luckily). But my mum specifically can be pretty intense and the process of explaining everything and answering all the questions is giving me anxiety.

What has your experience been? What would your advice be?

Thank you all in advance for the help

Thai doesn't happen when I masturbate, only when I orgasm with my husband. I come, and then my nose suddenly gets "blocked", closed up as if I suddenly had a cold? It lasts only about a minute. It's really funny and it happens every time he makes me come, but I wonder if I'm "weird" or if this happens to anyone else?

Today I had the second part of my assessment and the therapist confirmed I'm definitely on the spectrum.

I am feeling a little conflicted because I am very high functioning, however I have suspected for a while that I'm autistic. On one side I feel validated and seen, on the other side I have a lot of self-doubt or imposter syndrome: did I exaggerate my experience? I don't think I did but I keep thinking "well I function quite well as an adult so did I imagine all of this?". I'm so confused 😕

(Reposting formatted version to adhere by the rules)

Hello! Today I just want to express gratitude to women everywhere, and to the women in my life.

As a woman myself, in the past few months I have come to the realisation that it's so important for us women to talk to each other. Let me give you a couple of examples:

- I have been struggling with certain gynaecological issues and didn't really like my previous gyno (he completely misdiagnosed me!) so I wrote on my soccer team group chat asking if anyone could recommend a gyno, and I got so many messages from my teammates with recommendations!

- months ago I was exploring changing birth control method, and my colleagues and friends were so helpful with their many different experiences and different methods

- the " birth control "sub here has been also very informative

I was talking to my husband and he was very surprised that me and my friends, colleagues, teammates talk so openly about "women's issues" - he said he never opens up like that to his male friends.

So I just want to say thank you to all women who have helped me (and continue to help me) whether it's in person or online, I have found so much community and sisterhood, it's been truly great and makes me feel less alone ❤️

Hello! Today I just want to express gratitude to women everywhere, and to the women in my life.

As a woman myself, in the past few months I have come to the realisation that it's so important for us women to talk to each other. Let me give you a couple of examples:

- I have been struggling with certain gynaecological issues and didn't really like my previous gyno (he completely misdiagnosed me!) so I wrote on my soccer team group chat asking if anyone could recommend a gyno, and I got so many messages from my teammates with recommendations!

- months ago I was exploring changing birth control method, and my colleagues and friends were so helpful with their many different experiences and different methods

- the r/birthcontrol sub-Reddit here has been also very informative

I was talking to my husband and he was very surprised that me and my friends, colleagues, teammates talk so openly about "women's issues" - he said he never opens up like that to his male friends.

So I just want to say thank you to all women who have helped me (and continue to help me) whether it's in person or online, I have found so much community and sisterhood, it's been truly great and makes me feel less alone ❤️

Hello! I have almost finished my very first pack of Cerelle. I'm taking it both as BC and also because I'm hoping to lighten my periods (the combined pill isn't an option for me). So far I've been doing great, hardly any side effects, just a couple of pimples I'm managing with pimple patches, and minor spotting this week.

However, as I was doing one or my deep dives this morning, I saw that many pharmacy chains here in the UK say that Cerelle (and Desogestrel in general) does also inhibit ovulation. This sounds like news to me, I thought only the combined pill gave that certainty 🤔

Is this true? (Because if it is, I'd be extremely glad LOL)

Thank you all in advance !

Hello everyone! Long time lurker but new to posting, so please forgive me if I do something not the correct way 🥹 I love the Netflix mini series Brand New Cherry Flavour - I re watched it several times and I am looking for a book with very similar vibes. I have scoured the internet but couldn't really find an answer, so I'm hoping you kind people could assist me pretty please 🙏

Thank you so much!