Feel welcome to pop in and check it out! If you have any questions, let me know.
I created it- and it is looking great! I have questions for those of you who expressed interest.
Should we keep it local to Michigan, or expand it to across the country? World wide?
Does anyone know the ins and outs of adding Discord bots so people can assign themselves roles and select channels? If so, would you be willing to help or walk me through step by step?
Anything specific that y'all would like to see incorporated into this discord server? Any other comments, thoughts, suggestions?
I am looking to build a small community of individuals who are spending their 20's, 30's, 40's, 50's healing from the effects of being raised by emotionally immature parents. Parents who are narcissists, struggling with addictions, or otherwise not the parents you needed. The world is a hard enough and stressful enough place without that support that other people have. I am not sure what this would look like yet- maybe a safe discord group where people can come and ask for life advice, share wins, vent, share pet pics, when they do something that makes them feel good and they have no one to turn to. I don't know if anything like this already exists or not. Feel welcome to comment any thoughts you may have and if this is something you'd be interested in.
Late 20s f, newish to the Lansing area. I like to listen to music, read, bake, draw, color, craft, play cozy video games, play with my kittens, go on walks, and do just about anything. I am very laid back, genuine, caring, and emotionally grounding. I am open to chatting with anyone who is mid 20s or older and who would also like to make more connections.
I am curious if anyone else has gained significant weight on Effexor? It has been a godsend for my vestibular migraines but I am also over 40lbs heavier than when I started taking it a year ago. Not sure if it is a direct result of the medication or not, but I am having a very hard time losing it too.
Hi! I am looking to connect with some new people who want to form friendships with others who have also experienced having a cleft lip and/or palate. I love listening to music, spending time outside, video games, working out, baking, grabbing tea, and doing very low key activities.
Relatively new to the area and looking to build up my support system. I really like going for walks, checking out local coffee shops and farmers markets, listening to music, art, watching shows and series, animals, nature, cozy video games, and more. I am in my late 20s with no children, and I have a partner. I am often told I am more mature than my age so people tend to think I am in my 30's.
Hi guys! If anyone wants to be a part of a bumble bff friend group I made awhile back, feel welcome to send me a message or comment below and I am happy to share a link to it.
TL;DR: narcissistic mother, alcoholic and emotionally abusive father. They crossed the line again recently on my birthday and I decided to leave our hang out before it was over due to how poorly they were treated me. I let them know I was leaving and that I felt disrespected- they flipped out and played the victim.
My mom is the kind of person who will make very rude, humiliating, demeaning comments at other peoples expense. She has made several comments on the fact that I am in my late 20s, married, and no children yet. She has made the comment that my partner and I are "going backward" in life due to health issues outside of our control causing us to live in an apartment (which I see no issue with), drive a shared vehicle, and not be able to have kids, or do expensive shit. Meanwhile, my mom and father combined make over 400k a year combined and are able to largely do whatever they want. I would never feel entitled to a penny of my parents money, and they really do not help at all financially nor have they ever, but for them to shit on our lack of money/lifestyle often feels really hurtful. And we both have really good jobs too, but we have huge payments from our student loans, we have medical debt to pay on, and living nowadays is expensive.
Anyhow, we ended up scheduling a day/time to sit down with my parents about the repeated behavior- particularly mom (dad has said hurtful things too but not as much, not as often). Both of my parents say "it is as affordable to live now as it was when we were kids," and "we are entitled to our opinions and to say what we want, and if it bothers you that badly it is a you problem." I brought up several examples of very hurtful things my mom has said to me within the past 6 months and one example from last summer, and she denied every single one of them ever happening. She says, "I do not remember that," "I would never do that," "I can't believe you think of me as that type of a person," "I never did that," etc. even though my husband and I both know with 100% certainty it all happened. My mom says "you are over sensitive" and "you need to be able to let shit go."
Even typing all of this, there is still a part of me that feels like it is my fault- mainly because I believe she has conditioned me to feel that way and to be the one to apologize to her, and to make amends. This time, I am not doing that. We decided we don't want to be across the country with them for 2 weeks, so we declined to go on the upcoming family vacation too and that shocked them.
So just the other day we met up in a semi-public/private space to discuss everything that has happened up to this point since my birthday.
My mom and dad both expressed that they are "entitled to their opinions" and "if you two have such a problem with our opinion, it is a you problem."
Granted, their "opinions" are to tell us that we can "afford a 350k house, but just don't want to" which is factually untrue at this point in time, we shared why.
Maybe they can voice whatever opinion under the sun they have about us, but they are not free from the consequences of doing so being limited or no contact.
Anyhow... during this meetup, it was me, my mom, dad, and partner. My parents both seem to be on better behavior / less unhinged when my partner is present.
My mom denied everything. Literally every single thing.
My mom says:
What is next:
Letting them know asap that we are not going on that trip. My dad asked me to let them know by the end of July so they can get a refund on our stuff.
My mom will likely blow up again once we tell her we aren't going on vacation. Why aren't we going? Honestly, because it is expensive and they were paying for a chunk of it and the last thing we want is that to be held over our heads in the future.
Very limited contact with my mom and if she continues to act horribly, possible no contact. However, no contact feels like a last resort for me at this time.
My dad called me on the phone to express that he is actually the one who is constantly making the comments about us not having kids, and that he made a bet with my mom that we'll never have children. My dad also expressed that he had a "way harder life" than I did, and lists out all the reasons why that is the case. As someone who has a significant amount of trauma, I did not expect my dad to try and play in the suffering Olympics, but I was just like, "alright dad."
My dad also expressed that he does not want us (and never wanted us) to go on a family vacation that my parents invited us to, at the end of September. That he again, "made a bet" with my mom that we would back out of the trip, and "it won't upset me in the slightest if you two don't go." So that felt shitty, because I thought my dad wanted us to go on the trip.
My dad also said at a couple of points that the clear list of reasons why I am hurt (that I had expressed to my mom) is like me "talking in tongues," and is "just plain weird."
My dad said, "You should have just said you didn't want to talk about that stuff. That is a common thing people do when they are upset." "Sure, it was your birthday, so maybe we chose the wrong day to bring it up," my dad said to me.
Yeah, sorry for not telling you to not berate me on my birthday guys, that is totally my bad.
So following my mom reaching out on Snap chat, I responded to her to tell her, in short, "Mom, you have expressed repeated criticism and judgement of our life for awhile now. From the inappropriate laughter and comment of "Do you really like living here?" when we toured you around our apartment to repeated voiced assumptions of "it seems like you two don't even want to have kids." I told my mom I feel she is acting aloof to the extreme burden significant health issues have caused my partner and I. That she does not have grounds for insisting my partner does not like them. And that I do not appreciate the broad criticisms of my generation "finding kids an inconvenience" and the unnecessary statements about how people "make way more money" than we do. I told her that the comment she made about "Gen Z is too mentally ill to have kids" under her breath, and then refusing to repeat it, was shitty. I told her that it is not an opinion difference, and that she is disrespecting me, my partner, and our life choices.
In saying all of this to her, she then responds, "Wow, I guess you see me in a different light. I won't defend myself. I am actually shocked by what you wrote. I hope your counseling helps you." Then proceeds to screenshot the chat (as if it doesn't make her look bad), unlike about half of my Instagram photos, and delete saved Snap chat photos that we had with each other.
Met up with my parents recently to celebrate my birthday with dinner and a movie.
During dinner, they started making their usual rude, "who asked" sort-of remarks.
It started with my mom insisting that my partner does not like them (meaning my mom, dad, and brother), even though he has never given my mom any reason to believe he does not like my family. My mom would not drop it though, despite me insisting that my partner does like them (my partner chose not to attend, which I do not fault them for. This was thrown together last minute, and he had another obligation).
My dad then brought up during dinner how Gen Z finds kids to be an "inconvenience" (despite knowing that my partner and I both really want kids and aren't in a position to have them at this time due to health issues and finances) and my mom muttered under her breath that Gen Z is "too mentally ill" to have kids. For context, I've recently shared about being late diagnosed ADHD; I am also late diagnosed with depression and anxiety.
My dad made a comment about how "other people your age make way, way more money than you two do." My mom, who works in personal finance, said that "it is just as affordable to live nowadays as it was when we were kids."
All of the above said, at the conclusion of dinner, I decided to tell them I felt disrespected and that I was not going to see the movie. My parents (especially my mom) were extremely upset.
Fast forward to a couple days following my birthday, my mom reaches out over Snap chat (which is a usual form of communication for us) to tell me that she is "very upset" that I left. That her and my father said "nothing hurtful, nothing mean," and she says, "all I can assume is that you and I having different opinions did not sit well with you." She went on to tell me how her and my dad felt, and how they were the victims in the birthday situation, when I went home.