u/Soft_Exam301

My bf (26m) pilot and I 24(f) have been dating almost a year. He was a cargo pilot for about 8 months, & then he made it to the regionals. Him being at training for over a month and a half was very difficult; he agreed he was not kind to me at all, because I asked if he could at least call me once a week to keep me updated and when I would get upset because he missed it he would blame me and I would end up consoling myself. I felt like I was begging for months for basic communication.

I’ve had pilots in the family so I know the stress, and I let it go. I celebrate him continuously, give him gifts for every milestone or mini step in his career, be there for him emotionally and try to move my schedule around to be there physically. I have centered my life around him (I know, not good, but I was in love).

Insight; he tells me he hates where he’s at on reserves (very expensive), living in crash pad, doesn’t know anybody, can’t afford anything, and I unfortunately feel like that insecurity gets thrown on me with anger when I just try to communicate.

Now, I’m moving to the other side of the country for my job, and I am SO excited. Instead of getting the support I gave him, he’s complaining I’m not communicating with him well. I’m not telling him I love him, or initiating calls, or texting in a good amount of time. I asked what does communication look like to him so I can do better; and he just says he’s frustrated with me. I told him I’m not on the ball right now with communication because now that the roles have reversed, I’m now moving for work and focused on myself for a bit. I calmly stated I’d like the same help I gave him, & I was asked “how have you helped me at all?” & “I’ve always done everything on my own, it hasn’t changed.” I started bawling.

I have gotten him two huge references of captains of the major airlines for him to use to get there, & that’s just a portion of what I’ve done. I’ve spent gobs of money, time, & emotions. I’ve always been told I’m unbelievably ungrateful for what he does for me, which to be honest isn’t much. Is this an ego thing? I do not know how to handle this. I haven’t seen him in a month & I won’t see him for another month. Usually he unleashes his anger on me & then apologizes later and says he’s working on it. I know the stress is bad, but I don’t know when enough is enough.

He said these things to me on a phone call the other day; & he text me 28 hours later with “hope you have a good day. I miss you & love you.” I haven’t responded at all. I don’t know how to move forward, or if anyone has been through this before. I feel like a cheerleader for him, and not a partner. I genuinely just need some encouragement.

I’ve been quiet lately because my boyfriend (26m) and I (24f) have been through a lot. I’ve sacrificed a lot while he was in flight training, and now becoming a pilot & moving to LA. We’re long distance, but I got a job in Phoenix last week I haven’t even told him I’ve taken yet. He has been so up and down because of finances, living situations, & just pure stress. I have stayed through it all & have cried a lot on my own. I try to communicate with him & he just thinks it’s an attack against him, & then I’m left feeling alone again.
Two days ago, he said he was worried about me, but by that time I didn’t even have enough in me to explain what I needed anymore. I just said I’m good, & he said “nice..” & hasn’t responded or called or anything in 48 hours, but he can post he’s landed in Las Vegas and post to his story & look at mine right away.
I don’t have enough energy anymore to explain what I need, & him not get upset & claim I make him feel like the worst boyfriend. I’ve been silent, & I want to continue to do so because he’s just disappointing me at this point.
What would you guys do? Remove location? Remove social? Or just keep silent?

I was on 10 mg of Lexapro for ten weeks, after still having pangs of break through panic I moved up to 15 mg two weeks ago. Ever since, my acid reflux has been AWFUL. Like a lump in my throat, feel like I need to puke, loss of appetite, etc. It comes and goes, & I take Zofran & Xanax to calm everything, but it’s annoying.

Side note; I do have IBS & GERD but it wasn’t this bad on 10 mg.

I 24/F and 26/M have been dating for almost a year. In the beginning it was great. Then, he went to training for flying, & we started long distance. Now, we're permanently long distance as he's on reserves in LA. We broke up a couple weeks ago, as he is beyond stressed with finances, being alone, new city, & schedule changes.
We got back together & it's been well. I've been stable & loyal with him through all this instability, kinda suppressing myself during the journey.

We're a religious couple, & we ask how we can pray for each other every day. Yesterday, I was feeling off because I do truly feel like I tend to his moods, stress, schedules, etc, & I have been feeling exhausted. I told him I feel like we're just two people surviving, holding on to a relationship. Like always, he turns it into him, his stress, his intentions, his confusion, his perspective, what he meant, & what he's dealing with.

I just started bawling because it always comes to this. I can never just be upset, & then when I try to say hey this is why I feel this way, he becomes so defensive, compares me to his past saying nobody has ever made him feel this way in past relationships, I'm attacking him, making things up, going against his character, and even cursing. It's to the point I can't even calmly come to him anymore about anything.

I give grace because he is truly going through a lot, but I don't know how much longer I can hold on. Has anyone gone through this, & what did you do to get through this type of obstacle?