I feel like everytime I open the news, there's always some sort of killing at a school, whether private or public. School shooting, kids fighting going too far, schools controversy in regards to death on campus, kidnapping, etc.

I don’t know why, it has been a genuine struggle for me ever since I was a kid. I’ve fallen asleep in almost all my classes in high school with no explanation.

I get the right amount of sleep, I’m energized throughout the day, but I’m asleep during classes. Any other day that isn’t a school day, I’m awake.

And its not that the class is boring either, some if not most of my classes are pretty interesting.

Genuinely thinking of getting myself checked up for something mental, maybe ADHD or narcolepsey or smthg else.

Any tips to stay awake?

It’s frustratibg pero I also wanted to know if other parents do this.

I started college a few days ago, and I’m a very social butterfly. I talked to a lot of people, made friends, etc.

Coming home, I told my father “I made some friends today” And then was met with the reaction of “Hmmm center of attention ka nanaman noh?”

Like…putik I just wanted to make friends.

And this is something that always happened before, growing up. And I never understood why he does that.

When I’m working hard on a project - “Hmm baka ikaw lang gumagawa”

When I’m president or the leader - “Leader leader ka nanaman”

Like…everytime I went through some sort of success. I was always met with narcissitic, belittling, or offensive comments.

I still remember those times where I’d have a photoshoot and he’d comment how I need to lose weight or get my teeth fix.

Its so nakakainis because I’m the one suffering, and I’m also the one trying to heal my relationship with him but he always makes it so hard to see the good in him.

If it wasn’t for the fact I still don’t have stable income, I would be out of the house.

I’m smart, on paper. You can see my report cards from middle-high school and I got fairly high grades. As and maybe some B+ for science and math, and yet I always taunted myself that I wasn’t the smartest in the room.

I’m starting college in less than a week and I feel worse in a way?

But again, on paper, it shouldn’t feel this way.

(For context: we have entrance exams for the colleges we want to attend)

I managed to pass the exams for both schools I wanted to get into, and these are the top schools of the country. And yet I feel like even if I passed Imm just the bottom of the barrel.

It feels like “I made it but I’m not going to go far.”

I don’t know why, I don’t know how it came about that I have such a low self-esteem when it comes to how smart I am and can be.

I read a few news story posts, some had the usual comments like “oh kawawa”o “ikulong mo yan!”

But there was this genuine 1 post that had SO MANY insensitive comments.

Ba’t kaya?

A few days ago, I did a reading for a client. The reading with her had a good vibe and it went smoothly. Until her friend got curious and also asked for a reading.

Now, I’m not one to judge, but right off the bat this friend gave me bad vibes. When the session with my client started, she said “Oh I don’t know if I should be here because it goes against my belief” which I respect, sure.

When the friend sat down, she was still unsure if she wanted to do this reading. And let’s just say…it was an interesting conversation.

Me: “So the thing with tarot it is to give us a clearer reflection of the problem that we’re facing.”
Her: “wait but like what if I don’t like what you’re going to tell me. And like doesn’t this go against God? Will I go to hell because I’m doing this? Is this like a sin?”
Me: “I just want to reassure you that no one is forcing you, and if you feel uncomfortable, we don’t have to do the reading.”

Now this is the one that triggered me the most:
Her: “Okay do like, none of this is real right? Cause like you’re not a real physic or like you’re not a real tarot reader.”

Because of the bad vibe, I couldn’t really do her reading right. I had so many foggy thoughts and she would not stop interrupting me. Her question was fairly normal, “what does my future career look like.”

Me: “This card tells that you’d be a powerful speaker, making an influence. With this spread, it has something to do leaning into communications…blah blah.”
Her: “So what does that mean. I can take communications to go to law, right?”
Her (looking to her friend/my original client): “And I can communicate with people when I’m a detective, because I talk to people and interrogate them.”

So to say, she just wanted to hear what she wanted to hear.

I felt so drained after that reading that I packed all my crystals and decks right away.

I don’t think I’ve recovered from that, I still get genuine spikes of anger all of a sudden when i remember the reading. I haven’t done a reading since with that same deck.

I've been watching Forrest for a few months now, started out because of his Elephant Sanctuary videos. But recently I saw a video discussing about Prehistoric Zoo and I remember seeing a video of Forrest at that place and saying "one of my good friends, Jay". Which really got me double-thinking about him.

A part of me wants to trust that "Oh! He probably didn't know at that time (because I also didn't) but he's probably changed." But that thought is also double-ended of "Oh, what if he knew."

Which got me thinking if there are other things that he's talked about that are problematic. I saw a post here saying that his "Tasmanian Tiger" story was made up, and that he doesn't actually have a zoology degree.

So I want to know from the community if there is anything else that this man talked about that is widely false.

I just picked up my gecko [Tangerine Bell Eclipse Leopard Gecko, 1yr old, F] and I'm slowly settling them into their enclosure. My uncle has already provided me the enclosure for her but didn't give me the heating light.

Her enclosure is set in my bedroom for her safety to separate her from my dogs. And because she's in my bedroom, it's airconditioned.

I bought a basking lamp for her and have been monitoring the temp throughout the day:

Warm Side: ~33*C

Basking Spot: ~37* C

Cool Side: ~26* C

I've read the Beginner's Guide post and I saw that snippet about Night Temperature, but I'm not sure how effective that advice is if the room is airconditioned.

So basically:

1. Can I turn off the lamp heat, for her night cycle, even if I'm airconditioned? Or should it stay off?

2. Because of her night cycle, does this also mean I have to turn off my bedroom lights?

3. Does this mean I feed her at night when I see her awake? Or just feed her when she's awake in general?

June 27, 2026 - I just lost Muffin at the vet.

Muffin is my long haired Chihuahua, and we’ve had her since she was just a puppy. She was a bloodline, we had her mom and dad and had all her siblings. She’s the last of that bloodline now.

Though we had her since 2014, she mostly stayed in the doggy house because she was my “dad’s show dog” and once he stopped being a dog breeder she was just there.

Around 2020, my dad finally brought her into the house. And…that’s when we fell in love with her, by “we” I mean me and my mom. We cared for her so much, bought her toys and her bed and all sorts of dog accessories. Muffin became part of the family.

Around 2022, we noticed something growing on her tit. It was a big lump and when my dad got it checked, the vet said it was a lump pf fat but nothing to be worried about.

Fast forward:
2023 and my mom passed away. I stayed over at my cousins’ place while grieving about her and when I came back home…it felt hard to look at Muffin in the eyes knowing that her “fur mama” had passed away.

I felt…guilty, to say the least, that all the responsibility to take care of Muffin was up to me. I felt incapable but I still promised my mom to protect her and love her as much as I could.

There were some instances at night where I would wake up and watch over Muffin. Feeling an overarching sense that something was going to happen. I’d cry, I’d want to rush her to the vet, but it was always a false alarm. Even when I was abroad, I’d get scared coming home to find out the news.

Fast forward to June:
I brought her to a vet because Muffin got into a fight and I got scared that maybe she got cut or something. And the vet warned me that I should take action on that lump that has been growing, warning me that it looked like it was going to pop soon, that if it did she would have to be rushed to ER.

And a few nights ago, I went to check on her because I had a bad feeling again. And the lump looked abnormally big already.

So we brought her to the vet. She told me about the risks, for a dog her size and age, there was a risk of something happening but she coated it with “every surgery has a risk.”

But all that I could think of is “if there is even a fighting chance that she could live without the lump, I’m willing to pray for it.”

But during the ride back, I started debating…
Muffin was fine, even with the lump.
She didn’t groan, she didn’t look tired. Her life looked pretty normal for a dog, other than the fact she had a lump occupying 2 of her tits.
I doubted my judgement, thought to myself that maybe I shouldn’t have put her under surgery.
But the words of “it looks like it’s going to pop” kept coming back.

I kept thinking what she’s going to go through. Being a tiny chihuahua on the surgery bed without her owner, how scared she must’ve been.

Then…we got the call.
She didn’t make it. She wasn’t coming home to me or her bed.

And now I feel so guilty. That maybe if I hadn’t made her get surgery, I could’ve had 1 more week with her, or 1 more year with her.
Or maybe that we should’ve gotten it removed way back before.

I feel like it’s my fault that I lost her, and nothing in my head can tell me otherwise.

That baby, that chihuahua that me and my mom cherished so much, gone. From a surgery I signed off on.

I miss my baby girl, and I’m so sorry that I did what I did. Even with the best interest, it can’t change what had happened.

I wish she could know that if I could change my decision, I would’ve.

And yet, my last words to her was “Bye bye Muffin”.

I (18F) started my journey with loosing weight around April. My starting weight was 70kg at 4’11” (so yeah, I’m pretty overweight), and on top of all that I have PCOS/PMOS.

April:
I fixed more on portioning my food while on a calorie deficit of 1300 calories each day. I measured everything, ate 1/2 cup of rice, and cut down on my sugar consumption. Buuut I also tended to eat at midnight.
Result: I became 71kg.

May:
I was exercising more - focusing more on strength training and started getting into bouldering. Kept the same portioning of food and calorie deficit. And I didn’t eat at midnight as often.
Result: Maintained my weight but would often drop down to 69kg.

June:
I started exercising more than before (still in a healthy sense). My workouts were mostly me using 2kg dumbbells, getting my 9k steps in. I feel very comfortable where I am with how I’m working out.
I stopped eating rice and bread entirely, most of my meals were meats, yogurt, salad. I started drinking Protein Shakes as well and I stopped eating late at night. Strictly following a 12hour fast between dinner and breakfast. Yes, I was still in my calorie deficit of 1300.

Result: I gained…more? I was fluctuating between 72kg - 73kg. And I stopped my period (no, I’m not pregnant). And everytime I eat, I always feel bloated. It doesn’t matter how many calories the meal is, I feel that bloated feeling as if I had a cheat meal. I thought the weight gain was probably muscles (?) but I don’t look any leaner or thinner in the mirror.

I’m so…frustrated because June was the month I actually started taking advice specifically for PCOS. More protein, more fiber; the 12hour fast between dinner and breakfast; cutting away desserts.

I don’t know what I’m doing wrong- I thought what I was doing was right? But my body feels like I’ve been eating cheat meals.

[I will end of by saying; I will be talking to my doctor soon. But at the moment of writing this I was breaking down and getting so frustrated looking at the scale]