u/Someone_Just_3001

I have been struggling with ocular migraines since like 10 years old. I had years without it. In recent years, I started having them a few times a year again. I assumed it was due to hormones and stress.

I have been diagnosed with PCOS, Insulin resistance and excess androgens.

My endocrinologist put me on Aldactone 100mg a day and Metformin (Glucophage) 2000mg a day.

I was also thinking about starting contraception to regulate my periods. Gynaecologist prescribed Belara (One film-coated tablet contains 0.030 mg of ethinylestradiol and 2 mg of chlormadinone acetate. Excipients with known effect: lactose monohydrate 69.5 mg.)

She mentioned we could also try YAZ...

She told me that she does not know if there are any contraindications.

I googled and tried asking AI, and it was said it could cause problems if I have migraines with aura? I haven't had a migraine since February, when I started taking metformin (whether that's connected or random, idk).

Could anyone tell me if this is a good combination?

Should I use them?

Would there be a difference if I only used it for a month or two or a longer period? I just want to prevent getting my period on vacation, since they are very irregular and I never know when it's coming.

Thank you for any info you can give me...

I am a 23 F, 175cm, 125kg, non-smoker, and don't drink or use any drugs.

Problems: brain fog, irregular, very painful periods, mood swings, hirsutism all over my body, acne, weight gain, anxiety, every few months or so I get migraines with aura, daily cortisol slightly raised as well as night cortisol.

I have been diagnosed with PCOS, Insulin resistance and excess androgens.

My endocrinologist put me on Aldactone 100mg a day and Metformin (Glucophage) 2000mg a day.

I was also thinking about starting contraception to regulate my periods. Gynaecologist prescribed Belara (One film-coated tablet contains 0.030 mg of ethinylestradiol and 2 mg of chlormadinone acetate. Excipients with known effect: lactose monohydrate 69.5 mg.)

She mentioned we could also try YAZ...

She told me that she does not know if there are any contraindications.

I googled and tried asking AI, and it was said it could cause problems if I have migraines with aura? I haven't had a migraine since February, when I started taking metformin (whether that's connected or random, idk).

Could anyone tell me if this is a good combination?

Should I use them?

Would there be a difference if I only used it for a month or two or a longer period? I just want to prevent getting my period on vacation, since they are very irregular and I never know when it's coming.

Thank you for any info you can give me...

I am a 23 F, 175cm, 125kg, non-smoker, and don't drink or use any drugs.

Problems: brain fog, irregular, very painful periods, mood swings, hirsutism all over my body, acne, weight gain, anxiety, every few months or so I get migraines with aura, daily cortisol slightly raised as well as night cortisol.

I have been diagnosed with PCOS, Insulin resistance and excess androgens.

My endocrinologist put me on Aldactone 100mg a day and Metformin (Glucophage) 2000mg a day.

I was also thinking about starting contraception to regulate my periods. Gynaecologist prescribed Belara (One film-coated tablet contains 0.030 mg of ethinylestradiol and 2 mg of chlormadinone acetate. Excipients with known effect: lactose monohydrate 69.5 mg.)

She mentioned we could also try YAZ...

She told me that she does not know if there are any contraindications.

I googled and tried asking AI, and it was said it could cause problems if I have migraines with aura? I haven't had a migraine since February, when I started taking metformin (whether that's connected or random, idk).

Could anyone tell me if this is a good combination?

Should I use them?

Would there be a difference if I only used it for a month or two or a longer period? I just want to prevent getting my period on vacation, since they are very irregular and I never know when it's coming.

It's been over 7 months healing from burnout (mostly cognitive issues, sleep problems and panic attacks) .

Although I made huge progress (starting to understand things easier, remember things, feel creative, smile here and there, be able to go out and not feel like the stimulation is gonna kill me...), and I am finally starting to feel like a human being, I still have some issues that cause me a lot of concern.

- I lost my spark and confidence in myself (the humour, the wheels turning and everything simply clicking, ability to learn and create, spontaneous conversation, optimism, hobbies, friendships, dreams, hopes, "character development".... it's not there. I feel like I am just the shell of who I used to be. Going through the motions on "extra hard mode")

- I am constantly thinking about my thinking, and can't stop it (my head is going round and round 24/7, asking myself internally, "What am I thinking? Am I thinking? Why can't I think like before? Why can't I think like xyz? Am I ever gonna be thinking the same way? Why did I say this or that? How do I think? How does my brain know what to say? What if I freeze and don't know what to say? etc etc etc - everything in my head is now sort of manual, nothing is spontanious)

- I doubt everything I think, say or do (beat myself up for every mistake, like forgetting a word, a chore, something at the store, or forgetting about washing the dishes, etc., even if people tell me I did great on something, I don't believe it)

- I became anxious and agraphobic (I am anxious all the time. Tired but wired. Resting feels like torture. There are hundreds of tabs open in my head, but nothing concrete in any of them. I want to be around people, chat and have fun like I used to. But I feel dread about thinking of social interaction - again, the whole mentality "I am stupid, incapable and unworthy now" and being afraid that the worst possible scenario will happen)

- I am afraid of the future (what if it happens again, what if I stay like this forever? what if I won't be able to take care of my family and myself, driving, and going back to my student job)

- I am still unable to feel positive emotions (joy or achievement, pride... whatever happens, I cry, or get angry and frustrated for some reason - even if it's good news or if I manage to do something I did not believe I could or if I get praised or appreciated by others.)

I was not able to celebrate my diploma and the award I received for my academic work last year due to my crippling anxiety about attending this huge event in front of hundreds of people, while feeling like it was something my old self did and that I am just an imposter. I feel embarrassed and miserable looking at my family and best friend, because I can see how this affects them, since I was a pillar that held others together; nobody had to worry about me.

I tried diet, supplement, exercise, walking, breathing, suffocating, mindfulness, journaling, going easy on myself, resting, not resting, being creative, being boring and staring at a wall, sleeping more, sleeping less, rearranging my room, pacing up and down like a lunatic, playing games, scrolling, not scrolling ... then I gave up and let it be.

Did 6 different blood tests, and am still waiting for an MRI of my pituitary gland to exclude the Cushing's syndrome possibility (since my daily cortisol and midnight cortisol were elevated, but the dexamethasone test was fine). I took into consideration that insulin resistance, PCOS and androgens might play a part in this, but idk at this point.

I still managed to finish my first year of master's, help out at home, do stuff for others, and do some remote work.

But everything just feels 100x times harder, like I am dragging myself through thick mud trying to reach the end (being back to 100%, but not being able to)

Hello everyone =).

I posted about my burnout journey about 2 months ago. The amazing and enormous response I received really gave me a lot of hope and made me feel seen, heard and understood.

I will just link it if anyone wants the details: https://www.reddit.com/r/AuDHDWomen/comments/1sxahiw/trying_to_find_those_who_were_able_to_go_back_to/

It's been over 7 months now. Although I made huge progress (starting to understand things easier, remember things, feel creative, smile here and there, be able to go out and not feel like the stimulation is gonna kill me...), and I am finally starting to feel like a human being, I still have some issues that cause me a lot of concern.

- I lost my spark (the humour, the wheels turning and simply clicking, ability to learn and create, the optimism, hobbies, friendships, dreams, hopes, "character development".... it's not there. I feel like I am just the shell of who I used to be. Going through the motions on "extra hard mode")

- I am constantly thinking about my thinking, and can't stop it (my head is going round and round 24/7, asking myself internally, "What am I thinking? Am I thinking? Why can't I think like before? Why can't I think like xyz? Am I ever gonna be thinking the same way? Why did I say this or that? How do I think? How does my brain know what to say? What if I freeze and don't know what to say? etc etc etc - everything in my head is now sort of manual, nothing is spontanious)

- I doubt everything I think, say or do (beat myself up for every mistake, like forgetting a word, or forgetting about washing the dishes, etc., even if people tell me I did great on something, I don't believe it)

- I became anxious and agraphobic (I want to be around people, chat and have fun like I used to. But I just feel dread about thinking of social interaction - again, the whole mentality "I am stupid, incapable and unworthy" and being afraid that the worst possible scenario will happen)

- I am afraid of the future (what if it happens again, what if I stay like this forever? what if I won't be able to take care of my family and myself), driving, and going back to my student job,

- I am still unable to feel positive emotions (joy or achievement, pride... whatever happens, I cry, or get angry and frustrated for some reason)

I was not able to celebrate my diploma and the reward I received for my academic work in the last year due to my cripling anxiety about going to this huge event in front of hundreds of people, while feeling like it was something my old self did, and I am just an imposter.

I tried diet, supplement, exercise, walking, breathing, suffocating, mindfulness, journaling, going easy on myself, resting, not resting, being creative, being boring and staring at a wall, sleeping more, sleeping less, rearranging my room, pacing up and down like a lunatic, playing games, scrolling, not scrolling ... then I gave up and let it be.

Did 6 different blood tests, and am still waiting for an MRI of my pituitary gland to exclude the Cushing's syndrome possibility (since my daily cortisol and midnight cortisol were elevated, but the dexamethasone test was fine). I took into consideration that insulin resistance, PCOS and androgens might play a part in this, but idk at this point.

Does anyone struggle with their identity since their brain fog started? Mine is probably due to stress and hormonal imbalances (daily cortisol elevated but not classed as cushings, insulin resistance, elevated androgen levels, PCOS etc...), and yes, I am doing everything to get medication and get back on track.

But since this started, I lost my sense of identity and the confidence I had. I was always so outspoken, fun, witty, perceived as the smartest person in the room, who always had something to say, an answer, or a salutation. My brain felt like a universe of its own. I worked, studied, drove, did charity... Got rid of my anxiety and depression as well, and finally thought I reached the place or rather became the person I wanted to be.

But then 6 months ago, my body simply collapsed and has been moving towards recovery, but it's slow and frustrating. Ups and downs.

I can't have normal conversations, I feel blank, I can't feel happiness, I feel on edge, and I constantly worry about my own brain and thinking. Nothing fun or interesting to say, forgetting words mid sentence or what somethings called... I have a lot of ruminating thoughts, such as "Will I ever think like before again? Is my old self gone? Is this forever? Am I just gonna feel stupid and worthless all my life? What am I thinking? Why have I just had that specific thought? Why can I not think like others or like I used to? Did that even make sense? How did my brain even come up with thoughts before this? Am I a fraud?".... It's a constant loop, it rarely stops and its exausting.

The only feelings I can experience are anger and this crushing, unbelievable sadness. Even if great things happen around me, all I can really do is cry and feel anger. For example, I was able to score a perfect score on my last exam, when most others got a grade 2x lower than me, yet again, my brain started looping the negative thoughts, and I just felt exhausted and cried.

I tend to watch other people be happy, outspoken and joyful, while all I can really do is listen and maybe reply with a short sentence, which sometimes does not really make sense. I used to be able to have such complex and deep thoughts, my brain just clicking and doing its thing, and now it's like it's been powered off, especially when it comes to verbal communication. I probably come off as someone with an IQ of a hazelnut. If I write it down, it might sound somewhat logical, but saying it out loud, or fast, seems impossible.

Like, I cannot stop controlling and overlooking everything in my head, which used to be automatic before. A thought is not just a thought, a reply is not just a reply, everything feels manual, hard. Sometimes I could actually see a thought in my head, but not be able to verbalise it. Then other times I could write 5 pages, and then again have a hard time remembering the word for a spoon.

It's hard to explain to people who have not experienced it, and most just think I am being uninterested or exaggerating it. But it's so painful and frustrating to be trapped in your own body.

Does that ever go away?

Does anyone struggle with their identity since their brain fog started? Mine is probably due to stress and hormonal imbalances (daily cortisol elevated but not classed as cushings, insulin resistance, elevated androgen levels, PCOS etc...), and yes, I am doing everything to get medication and get back on track.

But since this started, I lost my sense of identity and the confidence I had. I was always so outspoken, fun, witty, perceived as the smartest person in the room, who always had something to say, an answer, or a salutation. My brain felt like a universe of its own. I worked, studied, drove, did charity... Got rid of my anxiety and depression as well, and finally thought I reached the place or rather became the person I wanted to be.

But then 6 months ago, my body simply collapsed and has been moving towards recovery, but it's slow and frustrating. Ups and downs.

I can't have normal conversations, I feel blank, I can't feel happiness, I feel on edge, and I constantly worry about my own brain and thinking. I have a lot of ruminating thoughts, such as "Will I ever think like before again? Is my old self gone? Is this forever? Am I just gonna feel stupid and worthless all my life? What am I thinking? Why have I just had that specific thought? Why can I not think like others or like I used to? Did that even make sense? How did my brain even come up with thoughts before this? Am I a fraud?".... It's a constant loop, it rarely stops and its exausting.

The only feelings I can experience are anger and this crushing, unbelievable sadness. Even if great things happen around me, all I can really do is cry and feel anger. For example, I was able to score a perfect score on my last exam, when most others got a grade 2x lower than me, yet again, my brain started looping the negative thoughts, and I just felt exhausted and cried.

I tend to watch other people be happy, outspoken and joyful, while all I can really do is listen and maybe reply with a short sentence, which sometimes does not really make sense. I used to be able to have such complex and deep thoughts, my brain just clicking and doing its thing, and now it's like it's been powered off, especially when it comes to verbal communication. I probably come off as someone with an IQ of a hazelnut. If I write it down, it might sound somewhat logical, but saying it out loud, or fast, seems impossible.

Like, I cannot stop controlling and overlooking everything in my head, which used to be automatic before. A thought is not just a thought, a reply is not just a reply, everything feels manual, hard. Sometimes I could actually see a thought in my head, but not be able to verbalise it. Then other times I could write 5 pages, and then again have a hard time remembering the word for a spoon.

It's hard to explain to people who have not experienced it, and most just think I am being uninterested or exaggerating it. But it's so painful and frustrating to be trapped in your own body.

Does that ever go away?

Not going to make this too long and take too much of your time =)

Background: I am 23. Still waiting for my "official" diagnosis. Have been a very smart, high-achieving girl since I can remember. I could read things once and remember, and even if I knew nothing about a certain topic, I could compensate by knowing many others. Like knowing a little bit of everything and only hyperfocusing on something I felt truly engaged and interested in. I spoke 4 languages fluently, was at the top of the class, won prizes for my knowledge and research, and was always the one who had an answer and a solution. I could easily understand complex topics by picturing them in my head and trying to grasp the underlying mechanisms. I was really deep and articulate in my thinking and communication, well in front of my peers. I could take on any job (even tho i hated them) and do my absolute best at it. The point I was the one helping senior employees. I loved reading, music, film, and daydreaming. Over the years, I managed to develop this funny, optimistic, energetic persona, which gave me the confidence to pursue my dreams. Took care of myself and have been a big support system for my disabled sister and single mother.

On the other hand, I was easily distracted, daydreamed or dissociated when bored or overwhelmed, struggled to socialise, had bad self-esteem, masked, felt drained and stressed. I learned to stay quiet, unproblematic, to never complain or show my true self. I became a perfectionist and highly independent. My body learned to constantly be on the go, multitask, and there was always noise, a need for some sort of stimulation. Even doing relaxing stuff made me tired. I would wait till last second to do things and get that push.

Burnout: Last year was super, though. I lost 2 friends, started having medical problems, pushed myself to get the best grades and get my diploma. I also had a very stressful counselling job on the side and family issues. And just when I thought I had it all figured out and I was finally the person I wanted to be (strong, independent, "grown up", studying, working, buying my first car despite the fear, being the stronghold of my family), one simple argument broke me. It happened in December.

What I thought was simple fatigue turned into 5 months of hell. The first 2 months were both physically and mentally hard. Besides the overwhelming fatigue, panic and brain fog, I had sleep issues, loss of appetite, headaches, muscle aches and so on.

The worst and scariest part is the cognitive aspect. The brain fog started right away, and for 3 months, I felt like I had dementia. Looking into space, no thoughts, crying, no memory, could not talk, no noise, no bright light, not understanding conversation, feeling lost, vertigo... Nothing helped, did a bunch of tests and got diagnosed with PCOS, insulin resistance, androgen overflow, and still doing tests for cortisol.

Changed my diet a bit, started walking, taking supplements, trying to relax (journaling and meditation are not working for me).

In March, physical symptoms disappeared. Brain fog stayed.

Over the last 2 months, my cognitive skills have gone from 35% to around 75% (sleep improved, memory improved, processing slightly improved). I have ups and downs, mostly feeling the symptoms

Current problems:

- metacognition and hypervigilance (can't seem to get out of my head, and worry about every forgotten word, mistake, constantly checking myself, asking if I know something, or if my thinking is normal or not, or if others think like this as well...),

- can not work or drive (I am scared to look for work since I can barely put together a sentence verbally, and driving feels impossible since my processing lags and I can't react fast or predict stuff),

- difficulty finding words or forming sentences (I would randomly forget the most common word for something, and couldn't form sentences and have a normal conversation without stopping a million times or freezing),

- my head is constantly active and ruminating but also empty (I can't relax, it's hard to fall asleep, I feel mentally drained, but nothing productive happens up there, "What if this.." "Oh no not again.." "Why me..?"),

- it's really hard to feel joy (things that made me happy before get zero reaction),

- the self-esteem I had and my dreams that were based on the fact that I thought I could achieve anything are now gone,

- worry about not getting back to normal and functioning

Did anyone struggle with this and come back to normal? I just really wish to find people to realte to and get some hope to keep going.