u/SorbetKindly1914

“I want you to act more feminine” is what my mom said to me after not seeing me for years as I studied abroad. At first I shrugged it off but it’s starting to really sink in me.

I don’t normally wear make up or when I do its usually minimal like concealer and eyeliner. I wear the same comfy clothes over and over. Compared to my female friends who have a ton of clothes on their wardrobe and tries out different fashion each time we hang out.

I don’t necessarily feel bad about it, but my mom’s comment made me rethink about my styling choices. I admit that I never cared about how I present myself to others, because why do I need to?

Throughout my life I haven’t had the same experiences as people my age, like impressing a guy or be invited to a party. I wonder if I’m really missing out because I’m not feminine.

At the same time, I don’t care about dating or having an abundant social life, I’d rather become more stable with my own identity first before all that. I’m not surprised if I may come across a disinterested or giving off man vibes when meeting new people. Lately, I’ve even been questioning whether I’m attracted to men or even romantic relationships at all.

But now I’m teaching myself about beauty as I enter a new phase of getting a career and making myself employable. Does anybody here relate?

I had an interview for a big company and it’s very difficult for me to organize my thoughts on the spot. I’m a non-native English speaker. I already have a general idea of how to answer common interview questions because I practiced the same story a lot, but it’s the unexpected questions that threw me off the most. It’s hard for me to think clearly while structuring my answer within few minutes. I recently graduated and don’t have many experience with interviews, or even presenting myself. Is it better for me to focus on improving my communication skills overall?

I’ve seen YouTube advices like breathing techniques but I didn’t find it useful. I’m already thinking of getting a private tutor for improving my English. If anybody can offer some practical advice on what I can practice to improve, I’d be willing to try it. I can tell that I most likely won’t get the position this time, but I want to improve for future interviews.

I received this link today from an account on Reddit who went on my mailbox to send me a message about giving me a job offer. Idk how it reached me. The website he tried to direct me is on the title. I’m not gonna click it obv, just curious if people here know what it actually does.

I had an interview for a big company and recorded myself speaking. I was given 3 minutes to think, but it was difficult for me to organize my thoughts and stay on topic for 1 minute. I studied abroad in English, and I’m quite confident with listening and writing. I’m comfortable speaking English in daily situations, but I’m not used to professional English. I already have a general idea of how to answer common interview questions, but the unexpected questions during interviews threw me off the most, especially when I had no knowledge on the topic. It’s hard for me to think clearly while structuring my answer within the few minutes I was given. If anybody can offer some practical advice on what I can practice to improve, I’d be willing to try it. I can tell that I most likely won’t get the position this time, but I want to improve for future interviews. Thanks!!!

My mother never gave compliments. She often criticizes.

I always have to conduct myself a certain way to please her. I can’t show sadness/anger, because apparently I’m being problematic.

At times she yells and cries, then I need to apologize and she gives me silent treatment for next few days.

She says I’m ungrateful for everything she provides. She makes use of her poor background as an example and is loud about how much money she made.

My father is just there watching everything in the background, he makes no noise and zero contribution to heavy discussions.

I’m now 25, recently graduated from uni and moved back with my parents. I’ve struggled with self-esteem issues and have been unemployed for some time.

My mother informed to all her friends and my families that I’m financially independent and I’m working a good job. To keep up with appearances, I guess.

This also meant that I can’t show my face to family gatherings or any events because I’m *sighs* a humiliation.

On the other hand, they paid for everything I had incl tuition, rent, food etc.

Since they both are retired, they want to catch up and my mother is cooking nice meals for us everyday, which she then shares photos to relatives.

I sometimes feel like I’m just a piece in their life so they can feel good about themselves and maintain the image of having a ‘perfect’ family.

I have accepted things the way they are and try my best to move on. But what’s the best way to support myself in this situation?