u/SouthernBiskit

Are you alone and no one checks on you?

Many of us are left alone, not by choice I'm sure, at least shortly after our spouse passes. Doesn't matter our age, but it is a major concern nonetheless. Neighbors oftentimes don't care or aren't nearby. Acquaintances you deal with are just acquaintances no matter how long you've known them. Families aren't always understanding. While many have grown children, they may be far away and have their own lives or don't feel the need to check on you. Some are too embarrassed to mention their kids don't bother with them. Even if you try your best to reach out for any help in society, sometimes it's a lost cause. Our world today is full of uncaring folks, let alone any small act of kindness. Yet one day, everyone will be in our shoes during their life.

Are you troubled you may die alone and not be found until sometime later? Do you know that it would be a hazmat team that would collect your remains?

Not everyone is able to get or has a medical alert system. Many communities don't have a wellness check system that contacts you. How many of you have reached out to your community officials to inquire if any program exists for those alone? I encourage you to do so for your own peace of mind.

It was mentioned in another Reddit post recently, that those alone may start our own well checks on each other, even if by text. I found someone had done such years ago on Reddit, but no longer exists. If I'm wrong, someone please correct me. Granted one could create a new community for this very cause if they're able to. One could also start a website, blog, or other means of public awareness for those alone.

Although elderly, I've been active in my community this past year trying to bring forth humanity. The progress is slow, but I keep going and hopeful. There are many software programs public officials can use, but the hindrance is always about the cost. Seems everything is always about money whether it's good for the community or not.

I want to share the one free program I found, that's better than nothing, for anyone alone. It's basic. I'm not promoting it understand. Simply sharing. It's called "SNUG". You download the app, pick the time for a daily well check text, and provide an emergency contact. Simple. I believe only available in the US. Like I said, better than nothing. Hope this helps others here. Please share any other free resources or information that would be helpful for any of us. Thanks in advance.

NOTE - Always be respectful and kind to those in need. No ugly replies. We are all hurting in our grief.

reddit.com
u/SouthernBiskit — 1 day ago

Early 70s, 22 months after husband's sudden passing, alone and feeling miserable today. I keep as busy as possible, but I tire so fast. My body doesn't work the way it used to a few years ago and all this painful grief is wearing me out. So many things have gone wrong. So many unfinished projects left to complete from my husband, and sorting all his tools and belongings, it's overwhelming most times. Then the house, yard, vehicle and farm equipment maintenance to tend to. I pray to God constantly to at least give me a somewhat healthy body so I can accomplish these tasks, but it hasn't happened.

I like where I live and it's paid for. I've been doing yard work for 3 weeks, forcing the motivation mainly because it is somewhat refreshing to be outdoors on the nice days as it does help with my mood and seeing the rewards of my labor. Mulching, trimming trees and bushes left unattended for 2 years. I do a section at a time, but sometimes other things take priority and then they need my attention. I hate mowing and weeding so I've been spraying weed kill to lessen my load, but that stuff ain't cheap and you need calm days to do it which doesn't happen too often here as I live on high terrain with many acres. Only 4 that I maintain. Rest is pastures.

Today I was on a roll spraying, (4th time) mainly cuz I want to be finished with weeds and rains coming in again Wednesday, plus enjoying being out in the sun, then WHAM, I got the tractor and full sprayer stuck and wore myself out trying to get unstuck. I screamed to the void at my husband for leaving me stranded and not being here to help with all this workload I have. After an hour I quit, left it stuck, hobbled in the house, every body part wrenched with pain and crashed on the couch in tears. So mad at myself, my life, my body, but hopeful tomorrow I can get some help to pull them out. Many things need 2 people to do but when you're solo, you try to one it the best you can, not anticipating a problem. I've experience in maintaining most things here for years, but never solo like now. It's so damn hard and rips at your spirit. I've always been proud of how kempt I've kept my property and many compliment me, but I've spent many years past in plantings, seeding, liming, and upkeep from the eroded clay it was 25 years ago. I don't let the grass get very high due to a possible snake and mice. Pasture rats are the worst!! Certainly can't afford a lawn care service, but actively attempting to get someone to help. No one wants to do manual labor and most don't possess tools. I've had too many of mine broken and I quit offering. Friends disappeared early on. All my relatives are in other states, and my husband's were trash even before he died. We did just about everything together as most here also did. I've reached out to my community and no luck. Everyone is too busy or just plain don't care. So it's all on me, even though it takes me 4x longer to do anything. I just needed to vent, sorry. It's been a bad day. Hoping things get better tomorrow. 🙏

reddit.com
u/SouthernBiskit — 17 days ago