u/Spine_Of_Iron

Salaam everyone. Im new to this group, I've only been here a week or so now and there is something I've seen more than a few times now in comment sections that is a little upsetting to me.

I live my life as a gay man. I have a fiance that I plan to marry soon. But I also follow Islam. In my heart, I love Allah. I also know that acting on same sex desires is considered haram and this brings me to what has been upsetting me.

I have seen quite a few comments from people stating that while same sex attraction itself is not haram, acting on same sex desire i.e. sex etc. is. The recommendation is usually to not act on those desires, to repress them and to seek therapy to help control yourself. In other words, repress yourself, don't allow yourself to experience what your body wants which is basically watered down conversion therapy.

Telling people to repress their desires in order to stay true to their faith is not the correct way to go. It makes it sound like if you do act on those desires, you are not a true Muslim. Telling people these sorts of things can go two ways. They accept the advice, try to live their life while repressing their true feelings. Or the other way is that they do this, become depressed that they cannot be themselves and they commit suicide.

This is supposed to be a support group for people struggling with their sexuality while wanting to continue their lives as Muslims. Comments like the ones I've described are not helpful or supportive.

Thank you for taking the time to read.

Salaam alaikum and kia ora. Im a white Muslim from New Zealand and I am a gay man. Sorry, there is some background story here.

I reverted to Islam in 2013. I was young (18) and though I knew I was gay, I tried to supress it. I was introduced to Islam through a friend and something in me clicked. I suddenly had this whole new community, I felt liked and people wanted to hang out with me and get to know me. I spent time with an Imam, learned how pray, what to say to praise Allah, until the Imam decided I truly understood and was ready to say the Shahadah. I was immediately embraced and treated like family.

It didnt last though. My family thought I had been brainwashed, because I fell into practicing Islam and adopting a Muslim lifestyle very quickly. I had come out to my family some years previous so they knew I was gay. In a bid to 'save me', my mother went to the masjid and told the Imam and several people there that I was gay and had been living a lie. The next time I went for prayer, I was told to leave and never come back. This hurt me enough that I didnt argue, I left and didnt return.

But now I want to. I want to start praying at the local masjid. I live in a different place now, the Muslim community does not know me here. But my concern is history repeating itself. Obviously I would not walk in and announce that I am gay. My concern is because I am white, I immediately stand out. People want to talk to me, want to know why I chose Islam, who I am as a person. My concern is that if Im seen in public with my fiance, questions will be asked and the same thing will happen.

So how do I walk this path? I do not want to spend my entire life praying alone, at home, breaking my fast alone during Ramadan, cut off from a community.

Advice or thoughts on this would be appreciated. Shukran wa Jazakallah.

This is not a trolling post or rage bait. Everything I say is 100% true.

​

I am a Muslim or at least, I consider myself one. I reverted to Islam in 2013. I said the Shahadah in front of an Imam with full belief in my heart.

​

I am also a gay man. I knew this when I recited the Shahadah. I don't believe this makes me false or 'not truly a Muslim' as someone once said to me.

​

I do not attend the mosque. I am a white male. It is also not outwardly obvious that Im gay. But I draw attention because Im the odd one out in the mosque. People want to talk to me, get to know me. My fear is that if they found out I was gay, I would be threatened, told to leave etc.

​

So heres the question. Would you accept me? If you knew I was gay, would you still allow me to pray beside you or would you try make me leave the mosque?

​

You can answer honestly, I will not judge you. Just make sure you aren't breaking any subreddit rules i.e. hate speech, or Reddit Terms of Service.

Edit: Thank you for the honest comments. There is a lot, Im trying to get through them all so please bear with me.

I don't know why this keeps happening but the Google Home Assistant we have set up, stops recognizing my voice. We have a Nest in our bedroom, bathroom, home office and living room so its really annoying because it doesnt matter which device I talk to.

It doesn't happen to my partner. I've tried reconfiguring the voice match settings, removing myself from the Home and then my partner re-adding me. After a while, it just stops recognizing my voice and I get 'I can't do that until I verify your voice, try going to your Google Home app and checking your voice settings'. It isnt even a Gemini problem (we got upgraded two months ago), it happened with the old model too.

Okay so my partner and I are in a debate about these ads. The ones where the person who bought the Lisas dips would deliberately lie about the name to throw the other person off.

But I remember them lying about the name to throw the other person off so they could keep it a secret for themselves so the other person wouldn't know to buy it.

My partner remembers them lying about the name to make the dips sound fancier than they actually were, in order to make the other person think they were French dips or Italian dips.

I cant find them on Youtube to verify which is annoying. So who remembers the ads? Which one of us is correct? Or are we both wrong and making ourselves look dumb lol.

EDIT: Okay we have the answer! My partner was correct 🤣🤣🤣 I'm going to leave the post up as a monument of my bad memory and stupidity lmao. When in doubt, your partner is always correct.

I wish I'd known how much a 360° OLIF would hurt. I had an L3-L5 fusion. Its currently 5:45am, I havent slept a wink and my flank incision hurts so much because of the muscles they had to seperate and pain meds arent touching it.

I know theres a light at the end of the tunnel and I should hopefully be pain free omce Im healed but gods be damned, right now its rough.

We walked out with 2 sets of cutlery, a whole cookware set and some couch cushions with a plan to buy a whole new dining set-up on our next trip.

Why are we like this 🤣🤣🤣