u/SpookyCastle0506

I was wondering if anyone had any advice for making like-minded alternative/gothic friends around the Dorset (or Hampshire) area, or knew of any good spaces where there are events etc…?

I’ve been really struggling for a long while to meet friends with similar interests to me, especially living in such a rural area… I just don’t see many people like myself about.

If there’s anyone similar on here, I’d love to hear any recs on where I can go or visit, how you made your friends, or even if theres any online groups etc. you know of for making new friends?

Thanks so much 🥺

Looking to get into some new bands and keep expanding my taste! I’m getting bored of listening to the same stuff on my playlists a hundred times over lately 😅

I love anything in the gothic genre, love a bit of doom metal too, and I prefer the older stuff honestly — a lot of modern style music is awesome, don’t get me wrong, but doesn’t hit the same for me, personally.

I like heavier/darker music, not into the pop-punk side of things at all, so if you got any super dark/spooky/abstract recs don’t hesitate to mention them!

Would love to hear what you’re into! 🖤

EDIT: Edit bc I think I didn’t explain myself very well lol — I know pop-punk isn’t goth at all, just when I’ve asked ppl for recs before, I’ve gotten a lot of suggestions that are just ‘vaguely moody sounding pop music’… and by heavy, I don’t mean brutal or anything, I more meant that I love slower or atmospheric stuff too.

Hi! I really hope this is an okay place to post question! I don’t really use reddit so… forgive me if this isn’t really the right forum!

I guess I’m just wondering… How have other goths & alternative people here made friends and found community?

I live in a very rural area of the UK and despite being in my twenties and desperate for friends… I struggle to make any at all.

I don’t really know of any local alt clubs or events or how I’d even find out they exist! And then… how to make conversation — and the most important part, keeping it going!

Any advice for how to find community, make friends, and help it stick? What worked for you? How have people here found community?

Sincerely,

A very lonely lil’ goth :(

EDIT: I genuinely don’t know of any clubs etc. within an hour of where I live and have no idea how to find them if they exist — plus club etc. are very difficult environments for me anyway because I’m autistic,,

I’m feeling really uncomfortable at the moment, and I’m not sure wether its justified, or what to do with that feeling.

Essentially… A couple years ago, my (F28) dog died. This dog was my best friend. My rock. My soulmate. I was heartbroken when she died — still am. It took me ages to even be able to mention her name again without losing it.

This year, I finally decided to get a tattoo to remember her by — a winding portrait of the lake I used to take her to, with the tree we used to nap under on my forearm. It holds happy memories of roadtrips and walks together.

I showed it off to my best friend (F29 — we’ve been friends for almost 20 years) about a week ago when we met up for a hike.

She immediately went pale. No comment on my dog. No comment on the sentimentality. Just “Dudeee — You’re not allowed to get cooler tats than me! Ugh! Jeez! Jealous!”. She ranted for ages about how good it looked — but it didn’t feel appreciative. It felt jealous and kinda angry. She couldn’t believe it and kept huffing and doing double takes at me the entire rest of the hike…

Today I suddenly got a text — a snapchat photo of her in a tattoo studio… getting a lake with a tree — in almost the exact same place. The only difference was that hers included floating sparkles around it and that mine was trad, hers was fine-line.

She simply wrote ‘I was inspired by you!’ in the text at the bottom of the photo.

But it feels more like a weird competition I didn’t know I was part of where I’m not allowed to be ‘cooler’ than her… and like she’s made something very intensely personal about her…?

Maybe I’m crazy — because if I asked a random person on the street, they wouldn’t think the tattoos looked similar at all… but I know the link is there.

Genuinely what do I do? I mean — its permanent now. For both of us. Can’t change that… but I feel so uncomfortable — I feel like ‘my thing’ is less special. That its less about my sweet dog and those roadtrips more about \*her\* now.

Maybe I’m overthinking it, but… it’s so personal to me, I can’t help but feel a bit butt-hurt.

TLDR; My friend was ‘inspired’ by a deeply personal memorial tattoo of mine and got a very similar design… now I can’t help but feel copied and uncomfortable about it, because of how personal it was to me.

Update: Posted this in the wrong thread originally — reposting here?

So… For a long time I’ve really wanted to get a tattoo of a lyric from my favourite song — Alles In Allem by Einstürzende Neubaten. It’s been a thought in my head since I was a teenager — and lately I’ve been thinking ‘Hey! I should just do that thing already!’

I can speak a little German (I’d say I’m only intermediate at best) and I do know generally what the song translates to and the meaning behind it… but I suppose I thought, since tattoos are very much permanent, it would just be good to check with a native speaker that theres no… weird double meaning or reference I’ve somehow completely missed?

The lyric I wanted tattooed is simply “Alles in Allem… Alles In Einmal” which is from the chorus of the song.

As I understand, its a common phrase meaning ‘all in all’ in a sort of ‘all things considered’ way… but within the context of the particular song I’m talking about means more of a philosophical statement of ‘everything is in everything’ changing to ‘everything is in one’ (?) in a later lyric…?

Its my first time using this forum, so if theres any German speakers on here who have a more nuanced understand of the language than me, I suppose I’d just really appreciate some reassurance that I wont be getting somehow totally stupid/offensive/dumb inked and I haven’t realised… 😅 and if theres any fans of EN here, then I’d love to hear your thoughts on the song in general/the meaning of the lyrics.

Thanks in advance :3

So… Hoping this is the right thread here! I don’t use Reddit very often. Anyway… One of my favourite bands is Einstürzende Neubaten and, in particular, my favourite song of all time is Alles In Allem.

I have quite a few tattoos, and lately the thought occurred to me to get this song title or a few lyrics from the song added to my collection of tats… as this song is pretty special/meaningful to me.

I speak a little german, so I already know what the general meaning of the lyrics/song is — although I ALSO know that this particular song is fulllllll of nuance and double-meanings…

So I suppose, before I get anything *permanent*, I just wanted to put out there a last check with native (or at just more proficient-than-me-speaker) that there isn’t some hidden offensive or weird meaning that my non-native knowledge hasn’t picked up on.

Yes, I’m probably overthinking it considering I already know German and have researched this already anyway — but hey! No harm in being a little over-cautious before getting anything permanently branded onto my skin, right? 😅

Would really appreciate if any native or expert German speakers (or fans of the band!) would chime in with some translations or interpretations of the song & lyrics. Its a really interesting song in general, so I’d love to read any thoughts or opinions from existing fans or language-experts in general!