r/AskAGerman

Hi everyone, I have seen posts like this around but have a slightly different situation. I am a current resident in Germany with an EU passport. I tried to register for the ELSTER portal but they only accept the letter identification and my address doesn't have my surname on the door so I am worried that the letter will never get delivered. Are there any free or cheap websites (under 40 eur) that I can use to fill out my tax return that will submit it for me? I don't want to pay the fee and then realise I still don't have access to the portal where I should submit it.

PS: I moved to Germany in 2025 and had to fly here 2 times before to do appartment viewings and to physically submit documents for my employer, should I also include the flight prices in my tax return or are these not covered?

I want to give a present to my LandLord (German Lady)

What do you think? What should I give her?

I’m not from Germany so I don’t have any idea. And she really helped me when i was new, now since i am moving so i want to give her a present

Whats the culture here?

Edit: added more details

Like yeah Bavaria is more conservative compared to Berlin or the Rhine-Ruhr area, but I never got the feeling that it was that religious or traditional. There are some old school cultural traditions, but the same can be said for the Netherlands and Sweden, both of which are very liberal and irreligious. But I wouldn't know, I've only ever been to Bavaria once. Would like to hear this sub's thoughts.

Edit :- For point of comparison we can use Western Europe, Canada, and Australia as references

Yesterday I saw a car that had a sticker of an Iron Cross on it and the text 'Verdun' beneath it. This seemed to be condoning the WW1 Battle of Verdun. This of course was a horrible event where many people died, and I wonder if such stuff is allowed, because it seems awful to me.

Hi everyone,
I’m looking for practical advice because I honestly don’t know where to turn anymore.

My partner and I are both EU citizens living in Essen, Germany. We both lost our jobs after our company closed. I currently receive ALG, but my partner’s ALG application is still not approved. She has been officially unemployed since March 2026, and the delay seems to be related to documents from another EU country. We were told those documents were sent on 26 June, but as of now there is still no decision, no payment, and no clear update.
Because of this delay, we have been surviving on very limited income.

My ALG alone is not enough to cover everything for two people. We are now behind on rent, bills and groceries. Our rent is €790 per month and we are currently two months behind. We also had electricity debt, which I already had to pay off twice, and I made a payment plan for gas, but now I am stuck again with groceries and rent.

The Agentur für Arbeit is barely responding to emails, and my partner still has not received a proper appointment for help finding work either. We feel completely stuck because every office seems to point us somewhere else, and we don’t know what the correct next step is.

I am not asking for money here. I am asking where exactly we can go for help.

My questions are:
Can we request an advance payment/Vorschuss from Agentur für Arbeit if the ALG application is delayed this long?

Can the Jobcenter or Sozialamt help temporarily with rent, food or utilities even if this is an ALG I situation?

Is there a place that helps EU citizens deal with German bureaucracy, especially in urgent financial situations?
Are there free debt counseling services which speak English?

Is there any realistic way in Germany to get a debt restructuring/consolidation loan in this situation? Around €5,000 would pay off the urgent debts and allow us to manage one monthly installment instead of several separate debts. I know this may be difficult with bad credit or unemployment, but I want to know if there are legitimate options and what to avoid.

I am overwhelmed, but I am trying to make a plan and solve this step by step. I would really appreciate practical advice, email addresses, offices, legitimate organisations, or exact wording I can use when contacting them.

Thank you.

I have a bunch of (USED) tools I'd like to ship to the US. Time is on my side, if sending them freight is possible without being overly complicated. God ten years ago I would have just brought them to the post, but it is SO expensive now!

About the size of a large travel suitcase, but likely heavier than they like at the airport.

Any ideas?

Dear members,

I am planning to pursue my master degree in Germany (If possible 2026-2027 winter semister). I come from Mongolia and got my IELTS certificate a few days ago.

I found the suitable program for me, but the main problem is tuition fee. How can I cover this? Is there any fully-funded scholarship? Please help me.

Note : I am still looking for scholarship.

Thank you !

Hi everyone, I am not sure if my question against the rules of this subreddit. Please be constructive and objective in your comments 😊🙏

I go to a psychoanalyst once a week. He is an older man from Hungary and has a room just like Sigmund Freud's. He listens very well and analyzes everything I say but doesn't answer my questions precisely. How can I prepare for my session so I can get the most benefit out of it?

P. S. This is my 20th session.

Hi,

I'm very curious about something. How do German couples share expenses? And is it bad seen if a woman wants to invite their man to eat in a restaurant or buy them something?

I have a friend (non German) he's married to a German woman, he's told me that his wife and he have arranged that he pays the rent of the house and she buys all the food and all needed for the house (for example cleaning products).

He told me when they go on the weekend to buy food, and she pays he feels like everyone is watching. I personally think he's overreacting because nowadays it's very normal that women want to contribute and feel useful too

I’m asking about things you buy from a supermarket not from restaurants or cafés.

I’m a man and I don’t drink alcohol, so maybe this is something everyone except me already knows, but what’s the deal with women and Aperol?
I see it all the time. They pose with an Aperol Spritz in photos, talk about it like it’s the only drink they enjoy, and whenever I’m at a festival with female friends, it’s almost always what they order. Is it just a trendy drink, or does it actually taste that good? I hardly ever see men drinking it, so I’m kind of confused. I don’t know if this is only a german thing, but im a german and noticed it a loot around here.

Guten aben.

Starting in Copenhagen, Denmark to see my wife's ancestral walking grounds. Then heading to Berlin for 2 days and then Munich for 4 days and Oktoberfest. We will be meeting up with my papa and his wife to enjoy the festivities and the city. This is the trip of a lifetime for us. My family's ancestral records only goes back a couple generations due to poor record keeping. Our family literally hired a private investigator to try and find where in Germany we're from but turned up diddly squat. (we paid the guy 5k and all we got was a stupid poster display of his minimal findings)

So, my dad and I decided to intentionally appropriate Munich's culture as our heritage and plan to assimilate as much as possible. I know that might sound silly, but I get jealous of people who know where they're from and then I say, "Why not me?"

Anyway, I"m just looking to have an awesome experience with my family. I dread annoying anyone while we're there so I want to be prepared as possible so I don't have to ask for help.

(I hope I don't annoy anyone on Reddit either)

There are a few things I am looking for specifically and I would be grateful for a push in the right direction.

-We are looking for historical locations in Berlin and Munich. The older the better.

-A good place to get a beer and play pool.

-Record Stores

I imagine the festival will have plenty to do in Munich but we are going to make a special trip to Spatenbrau. They make my favorite beer: Optimator!

Danke schon for any help and I hope you all have a good night!

-P

Wie heißen sie "Jam" auf Deutsch?

Marmelade oder Konfitüre?

Ich hörte, dann für EU Regeln heißе еs Konfitüre.

Ich finde es sehr interessant

I had a funny moment at work today that made me curious when my manager asked if I could take on an extra task, and I replied with something like, "Yes/maybe?" becasue it was something I was unsure if I could do. So she heard it and laughed and said, "That's basically like saying jein" and to her surprise I'd never heard that word before even after living more than a year in Germany.

When I got home, I looked it up online and also checked a couple of language learning resources I used when I was learning German like chatgpt, praktika, gemini, youtube, and they all explained it as a blend of "ja" and "nein" basically when the answer is somewhere in the middle of "Yes" and "No". Although it did make sense by the definition, but now I'm wondering how common it actually is beacuse I have never heard anyone say it. I have also taken German language classes upto A2 and its basically 90% of German speakers in the town where I live but this was something that never passed my ears.

Do people genuinely say "jein" in everyday conversation, or is it more of a joke or internet slang like "Digga" and "Brudi"? Also would you use it at work or only with friend?

Hallo!!!

ich hoffe dass es geht euch gut

Ich habe letztes Jahr angefangen deutsch zu lernen und es macht mir wirklich großen Spaß.... Deutsch ist bereits meine siebte Sprache!!!Aber ich habe ein Problem:

Ich finde einfach keine Deutschen im Internet obwohl ich in vielen Gruppen und Foren unterwegs bin... Das ist wirklich interessant denn ich habe versucht, es zu verstehen und ich glaube, die einzige Lösung ist dass die Deutschen nutzen im Internet einfach Englisch

Wenn ich eine neue Sprache lerne möchte ich gerne auch die Kultur der Menschen kennenlernen nicht nur üben.. Ich habe nichts gegen Englisch, aber es geht mir um mehr als nur ums Sprechen

So my question is where can I find native Germans who would speak German with me

We visited some friends in Germany/Saarland from Canada. We had an apartment in the town they live in. Every day they insisted we go to their home for breakfast and dinner.

They would drive us around to all the nearby villages and fairs but would not accept any money for petrol or any other expenses.

I feel we may have offended the spouse by giving her husband money for petrol and giving gifts, since we seemed obliged to give us something in return.

In Canada, or at least in our family and friends, it would be normal to share in the expenses but I wonder if in Germany when you have guests, you must treat them or show them hospitality that has no expectations of contributions or paying back...

It felt quite awkward being treated this way but I can see that in some cultures that's the way it is...

Hi all, has anyone here been through the family reunification process for a spouse from a non-EU country?

I'm a German citizen and my wife is from Macedonia. She currently lives there, and we want her to move to Germany permanently. I'm trying to understand how the process actually works in practice — things like:

Did your spouse have to apply for the national visa (D-Visa) from their home country first, or could they enter and sort it out here?

How long did the whole thing take from application to your spouse actually arriving?

I'd really appreciate hearing about your experience, especially from anyone who married someone from the Balkans or another non-EU country. Thanks in advance!

Hello, I am traveling in from Munich to Berlin in November and carrying on throughout Europe from there. Traveling by train gets us to the airport at a better time but I'm unfamiliar with traveling by train. I've done some Googling and it looks like there are luggage racks for a big suitcase and smaller ones can go under the seats. My biggest concern is with booking the tickets and the connection times. Is a 7 minute connection realistic when dealing with suitcases? The tickets say no city ticket included. My assumption is that this means I will have to purchase a separate ticket to get from inside the city to the train station for the main journey. I any advice or helpful tips would be greatly appreciated!

I am traveling to Germany for 2 weeks and was wondering if there are public drinking fountains or places to fill up water bottles that are easily accessible?

How Is that possible? I once called my praxis to get an appointment on the same day (Friday) because I was feeling really bad and they said that they don't do appointment on the same day and gave me one on Monday, even if I said I was feeling like dying they said no and I ended up going to the hospital instead... How am I supposed to get a one-day sick leave? I am very worried.