r/AskAGoth

Sorry if I used the wrong flair
Background information
I'm 17F and just started senior year I live in a tiny town with no other goths. I don’t really dress Goth at school simply because I don’t care enough about my appearance at school to put in the effort I mostly just do a casual mildly alternative look (i.e., jeans and a band t-shirt with some jewelry)
There’s this new guy at my school who is Goth also a senior - I've found out through others that he isn't dating anyone. I'm super interested in him but I have no idea how to talk to him. I know where his locker is. I pass him in the hall multiple times we have lunch at the same time. But we don't have any classes together.
I'm really shy and neurodivergent so I struggle getting out of my comfort zone. He has beautifully dyed hair it's like this perfect Ferrari red my only idea right now is to tell him that I think his hair dye job looks cool but I'm afraid the conversation won't go anywhere at all. My only other idea is to wait till he wears his shirt that says “I'm vulnerable if any goth girls want to take advantage of me” and come up to him and be like “hi I'm a goth girl,” but that feels too forward lmao.

❌ this could be seen as a bit of a vent post and I briefly mentioned depression so if you don’t like that then yeah

I know this is kinda weird but I was wondering if anyone else has maybe gone though this before and maybe could share their story on how they were able to find themselves again? Idk I’ll explain a bit

I felt a very strong connection to the goth subculture in my later years of high school and early college. I loved finding new music, researching the history, putting outfits together, poetry, film, all the stuff.

I feel like around the start of 2026, my passion and self identity slipped. I stopped putting in effort into my appearance entirely, wearing no makeup and just a shirt and a skirt most days or a simple dress. I stopped doing research and finding new music and art. I still listen to goth music but less than I used to I’ve mainly been listening to the same metal bands I don’t even particularly like all too much at the moment. I feel not very creative. It could be connected to mental health challenges I’ve had with severe depression this year but idk. I’ve gotten a lot better in recent months with my mental health, I know things will never be gone or perfect but I got professional help and began medication that I feel helped me a lot. I got a lot of things back then I lost in my depression but I don’t feel like I’ve gotten my “gothness” back.

I know this may sound like I was just a goth tourist and I grew out of it but thats really not the case- the gothic lifestyle and essence is something I’ve always felt connected to my entire life even as a child I just didn’t know what it was fully. Despite not feeling like it’s part of my identity right now I know it is I still have a deep admiration for it.

If anyone has maybe gone though anything similar and has advice I’d appreciate it 🖤