u/Spoony_Tingler

Spoke with some band members after the show. I didn’t ask for details but from what they volunteered it seemed like everyone felt it best not to play for career/reputation/cancel culture reasons.

Geordie came out under obvious stress and played a show for the people who’d come to see him after delivering an acknowledgment of the situation. Clearly this was what he felt was best/right in the moment.

I’m seeing people speculate about what the band’s lack of appearance must have meant. Stop. We’re all likely biased and wrong. The touring musicians are contractors. They have a job on the line.

If band members make statements, great. Until then please don’t speculate.

I’m interested in hearing your thoughts. Mine are in the comments.

I’m always curious to know what length of time people consider long term travel. I’ve been outside my home country many times now, with most trips ranging from 2 to 6 weeks, but there are a few instances of much larger trips. I’d like to know what your longest trips are.

My highlights would be

8 months abroad to circumnavigate the globe westward in 2015 (28 countries)

7 months abroad to recover from a broken heart in 2022 (7 countries)

16 months abroad after getting married to my wife in 2024 (13 countries)

My in-law has a terrible relationship with my spouse and takes it out on me at almost every opportunity. They ignore me when I say hello. They insult me, they tell me they don’t like me.

They have a serious history of emotional outbursts and verbal abuse. The whole family treats them like something fragile. I do my best to ignore their habitual insults. My spouse has confronted my in-law about their treatment of me, which has only worsened the treatment I get because it’s confirmed now that it upsets my spouse.

Tonight they said my spouse was weird for getting married at their age. When my spouse commented later to another in-law that they didn’t much appreciate that comment, the original in-law blew up and marched over, screaming.

I was seated between them and started getting targeted. After a few minutes of fighting each other, my spouse ended up leaving and I chose to remain to get yelled at all by myself. I’m much calmer and handled it well. When I responded, the in-law cut me off again and again. At one point I told them to shut up and continued my sentence.

I was raised to understand this was a rude phrase and I wonder if it was rude to use. I certainly don’t want to give them ammunition to hold more of a grudge against me. In the moment it wasn’t intended to be rude. I just couldn’t think of another way to say something similar. They were raising their voice and I didn’t want to yell back. I also couldnt point out their interruptions without risking derailing the conversation—making is about the interruption itself. They didn’t like me saying “shut up” but it did the job. It felt pretty natural given the circumstance.

Is it rude to say “shut up” in this circumstance?

Edit: The person in question is a sibling-in-law, not either of my spouse’s parents. I realize now my ambiguity has led to misinterpretation by some readers.

Edit 2: This person is borderline incapable of emotional regulation. They’re high functioning autistic with a lifetime of enablement. I’m not emotionally affected by these outbursts. It’s a inevitable part of their disability at this moment in their life. I still think they’re shitty but I can tolerate the vitriol.

Edit 3: I’m genuinely surprised how many of your answers are advice on going no-contact. I don’t know what you’re interpreting from my writing but I’m certain a lot of you have an exaggerated interpretation, or are just way more sensitive than I am. I don’t have a relationship with this individual but avoiding them forever is not going to happen.

This is the sibling of my spouse, appearing once in a while at a family function. I don’t know when they receive or accept an invitation and I will continue to see them every few months for a couple hours at a time. Despite being awful, they are still a young adult and still figuring out life. I don’t need to give their parents an ultimatum on attendance.

In this particular situation, their hope was to force my spouse and I to leave. By not leaving, I did not give them what they wanted. Instead, they ordered an uber and went home in tears. They don’t like me. They don’t like me as an addition to their family. They would rather I disappear for good. My desire to have dinner with the rest of my in-laws is just as valid and I have no reason to show them that kindness.

Conclusion: The consensus seems to be that in this case it was warranted and while still a normally-rude thing to say, it was much appropriate and therefore not likely to be viewed as rude by an neutral observer. Someone suggested “STOP!” Which would be less rude and have a similar effect. I like that. Thank you.

Does anyone know where to find the Slovene soda in a Vancouver store?

Canadian here. I am arriving in Mo Bay on Thursday and desire to witness our impending defeat by the Moroccans :(

Any advice where I can watch FIFA at noon on a Saturday?

I saw LEENALCHI tonight as part of the Vancouver Jazz Festival. I knew nothing about the band prior to my old boss inviting me out to their show tonight. I’ve never heard anything like this before.

The syncopated rhythms, the layered vocals and call/response, the individual vocal style… bird sounds?? Why is the bass so nasty? Why are there two bassists?

I get the sense this is a type of cultural fusion/modernization but what are the ingredients?

I’m doing my research but would appreciate any information, insight or listening recommendations to help me down my rabbit hole.