u/SquareCombination782

I asked my lecturer for books that would help me understand the subject better but she said everything out there would be too complicated for the course we're currently doing. But there has to be something out there. Her slides have hardly any content and the assignment/exam questions are completely out of my depth.

An introduction to SDEs or something about Markow chains, random walks, Ito's formula and integrals, stopping times and Fokker Planck's equation 🙏

I (21F) was messaged by this guy (22M) on discord before I moved to the country that he was in. I was joining discord servers that provided information about the university I was joining so he found me through one of those (he just graduated from that uni). We texted almost everyday and since we had a lot in common it was fun.

After I moved for university, we ended up going to a cat cafe together. He's very awkward in person but I didn't mind for the most part (btw I made it very clear to him that there will not be any kind of romantic relationship between us and he was fine with being friends).

We hung out a few more times before we had a huge argument about our morals on eating meat. He was being rude the whole time saying that he can't be friends with me cause I'm a Christian and I eat meat. He eats meat too but some atheists love to be hypocritical. I got mad and stormed off when he started making racist comments (he always makes racist jokes and it pisses me off everytime). After that fight, I blocked him on everything and wondered why I gave him the time of day. I chalked it up to me feeling lonely in a new country.

My dumbass unblocked him after a month and he apologized profusely for how he acted. I told him all is forgiven but I don't think we should we should hangout irl anymore.

I've been really really busy with uni and my exams are approaching so I've hardly been texting him. Yesterday, he calls me and tells me that he busted his kneecap. He said he was in the hospital and he needs someone to help him get back to his apartment. I called my mom and she told me to not go no matter what cause it was dark and I'd be putting myself in a vulnerable position. So I apologized to him and suggested he ask someone in his building for help. He then proceeded to ask me if I could get him food and medicine the next day. I ghosted him. I feel so bad but I genuinely do not have time and I'm also scared. I've never been to his apartment but I live in the uni halls (he previously lived there) so he knows where I stay. His reason for asking me is cause I live the closest to him (20 mins walk).

Additional context: He's been living in this country for 4 years. He has no friends apparently and he's autistic.

I'm sure this question has been posed before but I wanted a clear answer with regards to my situation.

I did my undergrad in math and stats but I'm not particularly good at math. I'm good at studying for an exam and replicating proofs.

I'm doing my postgrad in pure math right now because I WANT to be good at math. I want to have that natural ability of seeing a problem and coming up with solutions. I'm trying so hard to keep up with the material being taught in each class but sometimes I feel like my brain might not be made for advanced math. That makes me so sad because I really really want to study it. My postgraduate advisor told me that it might be better if I switch to applied math courses for my next semester cause I'm better at computation but I want to study number theory, functional analysis, topology, etc. Is it possible for me to do these courses even though I'm not a genius that can see something really abstract and not feel like their brain is going to explode?

If I was studying it on my own, I wouldn't mind but failing is a real probability for me right now and I'm so scared of that.

I've heard so many people say that it's hard to come across a good math teacher. I've been studying math for quite some time and I don't think I've had a teacher I really admired. No one who truly builds intuition or makes the subject feel less daunting.
I want to know why math is so hard to teach. Is it the subject itself, or do mathematicians just not have a knack for verbalizing their thoughts?

I know y'all need to eat but I feel so nauseous at 9 am when I can smell other people's breakfast.
Why are we eating smelly food in a confined space? 😭
I feel like a pregnant woman with morning sickness

I'm in the first semester of postgrad math. I'm not able to cope up with what I've chosen to study. I'm getting really bad grades. I don't know if I'll be able to even pass at this point.

I did my undergrad in math and stats. I never found that challenging at all.

I'm so miserable nowadays. My mental health has deteriorated alot cause I don't understand most of what I'm studying even after spending hours with it. I'm going to talk to a professor tomorrow since I failed his midterm.

But I don't want to do this anymore. I want to change my degree.

I'm also a TA and I enjoy teaching math at a high school/undergrad level. I want to switch to a graduate diploma in teaching but I'm on a student visa for the degree I'm currently pursuing and I feel so trapped. Has anyone gone through anything similar? I'd appreciate any advice right now.

I was good at math in school, so I ended up majoring in math and stats in my undergrad.

I performed better in my math courses so I decided to try and get my masters in math.

I'm in my first semester right now and I don't enjoy anything I'm studying. Everyone suggests reading different books to get interested in it but I don't really have the time cause I'm balancing classes, assignments, part time work and living alone in a new country.

I have to force myself to study and it never lasts long enough. I think math used to be fun at some point, but I can't remember that feeling now. Maybe it's cause I'm studying it at a higher level and I find it hard to understand?

My inability to study for long hours is affecting some of my classes. I really flunked an exam today. I'll still pass if I do better on the final exam, but I don't know how to start enjoying what I'm studying. I feel miserable sometimes.

Everyone I talk to in the math department enjoys what they study. Is there some secret way of studying that I'm missing, or is math not for me?