u/Square_Plant6718

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Okay this might be controversial. For me, Anupama Parameswaran's interview with Dhanya Varma felt a bit off. Idk if I'm the only one feeling this, but I'm not able to ignore the feeling...

Lemme explain why. Anupama is a public figure, and so is her ex. Everyone online knows who was her ex and that they were together, even though none of them had openly said that. But I feel a little ick when she publicly says things that has happened to her, especially when the abuser is pretty famous too. Idk if I'm wrong. Isn't it a bit too much. I'm never belittling the depth of what she went through. Ik how it feels, I've also seen close relatives and frnds go through similar things...but a famous person like her talking about the person in public, isn't that a bit too much of information to just throw at the public?

Coz if it was a random influencer who did it, everyone would be like why is she dragging personal things in front of the public when the person on the other side is well known as well...etc etc...

Please please I'm not trying to justify the abuser in any way, but couldn't it be more reserved than so outright?

Please correct me if I'm wrong...:)

Idk how to put this out...I'm 23F, found out that my father was having an affair almost a yr ago(nothing physical as far as ik, but inappropriate chats with a lady who's been a family friend) through my younger brother who was just 14 at that time...he is really smart and found out (I hate that I've been so dumb and naive that ppl get away with anything from me)...I had idealized my dad, used to love being said I look like my dad, loved him more than my life (which I no longer do) and thus this shattered me in ways I can't explain. Same with my mom... inappropriate chats with a colleague of hers I hated right from the start..ig my father had the affair much before my mom...both of my parents have been really secretive about their phones and it took me a long 22 yrs to actually understand y, and that too coz of my bro… my mom def knows abt my dad's affair, there's been huge fights on that, but idk whether he knows hers..maybe both of them know but just don't care…

I'm currently in a very low state in my life, emotionally, academically, also ended my 2.5 yrs relationship 4 months back

..my parents are always fighting, never a peaceful moment at home (from the time I can remember coz of which I've a haul of childhood traumas)...I'm currently a postgraduate and jobless, at my parents home, at their mercy tbh...I hate the shows they put up in front of others as the perfect couple....

The thing that single handedly breaks my heart is when I see them texting and calling their persons secretly and kinda trying to hide when someone comes close...which happens every now and then in my home and I get shattered every time I see it...

I've actually confronted my dad through WhatsApp(I was away from home for clg) once when my brother forced me to, but he denied everything, lied straight to my face, and seemed to have zero sense of guilt or embarrassment. I've never confronted my mom as I'm too afraid of her typical narc behaviour (both of my parents are narcs for that matter) and what she might do after that...

Things are really more complex than it sounds here, and it's breaking me everyday...I really felt like leaving my home, and living by cleaning plates, which I'm still ready for...I really wish at least one of them were not having affairs, as I could at least live for them for the rest of my life, coz I really don't find any good reason to live forward...

My bro is 16 and doesn't even talk to anyone in the house including me...the dystopian family dynamics has made him the angriest teenager with a lavish spending habit too..as an elder sister I feel like I'm also losing him (who's literally like a baby to me coz of the 6-7 yrs difference) coz of my parents behaviour!!!!

On top of it, my dad is extremely partial towards my bro and he's also  literally spoiling him...(for context, I got a 16k phone at 22yr and he got an 80k one at 16) 

I'm afraid of his future as well as being sad and angry at the way he behaves with me...

I really really don't know what to do in this situation...I'm dying from the inside everyday!!! 

Btw, mine is a very reputed family, and have my dads side of grandparents living with us (with whom my mom doesn't talk to and they don't either due to earlier typical Mil fil dil issues) which increases the burden…they're loving towards me btw and they're the only reason I'm staying in this house..

Really would help if anyone of u cud say smtng, maybe a different perspective or similar experiences, so that I'll at least feel less lonely....:) 

Please don't give flat sermons coz u don't really know how it feels like to experience all this…

Idk how to put this out...I'm 23F, found out that my father was having an affair almost a yr ago(nothing physical as far as ik, but inappropriate chats with a lady who's been a family friend) through my younger brother who was just 14 at that time...he is really smart and found out (I hate that I've been so dumb and naive that ppl get away with anything from me)...I had idealized my dad, used to love being said I look like my dad, loved him more than my life (which I no longer do) and thus this shattered me in ways I can't explain. Same with my mom... inappropriate chats with a colleague of hers I hated right from the start..ig my father had the affair much before my mom...both of my parents have been really secretive about their phones and it took me a long 22 yrs to actually understand y, and that too coz of my bro… my mom def knows abt my dad's affair, there's been huge fights on that, but idk whether he knows hers..maybe both of them know but just don't care…

I'm currently in a very low state in my life, emotionally, academically, also ended my 2.5 yrs relationship 4 months back

..my parents are always fighting, never a peaceful moment at home (from the time I can remember coz of which I've a haul of childhood traumas)...I'm currently a postgraduate and jobless, at my parents home, at their mercy tbh...I hate the shows they put up in front of others as the perfect couple....

The thing that single handedly breaks my heart is when I see them texting and calling their persons secretly and kinda trying to hide when someone comes close...which happens every now and then in my home and I get shattered every time I see it...

I've actually confronted my dad through WhatsApp(I was away from home for clg) once when my brother forced me to, but he denied everything, lied straight to my face, and seemed to have zero sense of guilt or embarrassment. I've never confronted my mom as I'm too afraid of her typical narc behaviour (both of my parents are narcs for that matter) and what she might do after that...

Things are really more complex than it sounds here, and it's breaking me everyday...I really felt like leaving my home, and living by cleaning plates, which I'm still ready for...I really wish at least one of them were not having affairs, as I could at least live for them for the rest of my life, coz I really don't find any good reason to live forward...

My bro is 16 and doesn't even talk to anyone in the house including me...the dystopian family dynamics has made him the angriest teenager with a lavish spending habit too..as an elder sister I feel like I'm also losing him (who's literally like a baby to me coz of the 6-7 yrs difference) coz of my parents behaviour!!!!

On top of it, my dad is extremely partial towards my bro and he's also  literally spoiling him...(for context, I got a 16k phone at 22yr and he got an 80k one at 16) 

I'm afraid of his future as well as being sad and angry at the way he behaves with me...

I really really don't know what to do in this situation...I'm dying from the inside everyday!!! 

Btw, mine is a very reputed family, and have my dads side of grandparents living with us (with whom my mom doesn't talk to and they don't either due to earlier typical Mil fil dil issues) which increases the burden…they're loving towards me btw and they're the only reason I'm staying in this house..

Really would help if anyone of u cud say smtng, maybe a different perspective or similar experiences, so that I'll at least feel less lonely....:) 

Please don't give flat sermons coz u don't really know how it feels like to experience all this…

I'm aspiring to do my PhD in English from JNU. (Did my bachelor's from DU (south campus)and masters from PU) Do u think it'll be an academically good option considering the dept? Another thing that concerns me is the high air pollution in the city...it makes me anxious to to even thinking of living there for maybe 4-5 yrs till I finish my PhD in the city(since I have earlier experience staying in the city, it gets really worse during post diwali months) and put my health and longevity at risk. Plus, is it true that ppl who are alumnus of DU find it easier to get Assistant Professor jobs in there as they're all connections-based? So if that's the case, will it be better for me to choose DU as my first option for PhD too?

One more last qn, do professors in JNU support us for wrapping up our thesis by the end of the third year?

Please rply as I'm totally confused as of which way to go regarding my career🙂