Perspective: There's no point in chasing women
It's not a numbers game. It's not about confidence. It's not about money.
Lately I've been losing my mind because I'm starving for even the smallest amount of attention or affection from a woman.
Almost every friend I have regardless of age has had wives, girlfriends, hookups, friends with benefits, or at least some kind of romantic experience. Whenever I ask them, "How did you get your girlfriend?" the answer is always the same:
"It just happened, bro."
"Just put yourself out there."
"Don't think about it."
"Just cold approach."
"Just make more friends."
None of those answers have ever matched my reality.
The thing that really drives me insane is that many of these same friends barely put any effort into themselves. Some are alcoholics. Some use drugs. Some are unemployed. Some don't even take basic care of their hygiene. Yet relationships seem to come naturally to them.
Meanwhile, I've spent years trying to improve myself.
I go out almost every evening instead of hiding at home. Sometimes I meet friends, sometimes I walk alone. Last night I met up with a friend I hadn't seen in months. We went to an expensive café a place I normally wouldn't spend €20 on. It was packed with attractive women. They were laughing with friends, talking to guys, flirting, living normal lives.
I was just there.
The table next to us stayed empty, nobody acknowledged me, nobody showed the slightest bit of interest. I felt completely invisible.
I don't regret the money or the years I've invested in self-improvement. I regret believing that if I worked hard enough on myself, eventually someone would notice me. That effort would lead to something.
It never did.
The hardest part isn't even the rejection anymore. It's watching intimacy, dating, sex, relationships, and emotional connection happen so effortlessly for almost everyone else while feeling like I'm permanently locked out of that part of life because I can't get past the appearance barrier.
For someone like me, asking for affection feels like asking for the impossible.
I was rejected by several women just last week. Every rejection chips away at what's left of my self-worth. Every time I'm ignored or avoided, it reinforces the same message
That I'm unwanted.
That I'm invisible.
That I'm a worthless pile of garbage.
That no matter how much effort I put into becoming a better person, none of it matters if I can't pass the first impression.
At this point, I don't even know what I'm supposed to do anymore.
I even travelled several countries a few weeks ago and the outcome was always same.
I completely want to give up but I cannot turn off the desire to be loved, accepted and such since that's been my dream.