u/StarwardShadows

NSFW because possibly triggering/sad.

My son is a blessing. I look at him at least once a day and think how lucky I am we’re both here. I’m way too scared to have another baby and it breaks my heart to think he’ll grow up an only child like me. But I had postpartum pre-e with severe features and I look at my son and that is what keeps me from going through with it. I just can’t take the chance of leaving him behind from something preventable, so I went on birth control.

I see his little face and I think “he is enough.” And he deserves to have a mommy. Pre-e is so scary and unpredictable. My blood pressure is usually so low but it still got me. Terrifying.

I had a free voucher for CCSP because of my school. I just took a Cloud Computing class and I didn't take the CCSP seriously because I'm burnt out from the semester. I wanted to see what would happen if I just went in blind. I ended up getting Above in 2 domains, Near in 2, and Below in 2 others. I feel like I could have passed it if I actually watched the full review series. The only thing I used to study was the official study guide. (I also have a bunch of other certs like SSCP, CySA+, Sec+, Net+ so I'm good at tests.)

However, although I feel confident I could pass with a bit more studying, I'm not sure if this is just my OCD because I failed. I don't know I meet the requirements to even get the full cert. I have 2 years of actual, traditional work experience in Cloud domains and I'm about to graduate, so that counts as another ... And I have several years as a freelance technical writer where I wrote a lot about API development, SaaS, and such topics. But I haven't done a deep dive on whether writing will count or not. Basically I wrote freelance blog articles and product documentation on random products and apps.

So of course I would try to get those 2 years to count (any advice on what to expect with this is appreciated). But assuming that it's not accepted, and I still need 2 years of cloud experience to even get the full cert .. Is it a waste of time/money to retake the exam? I have a bunch of other good certs and I'm already a full member because of the SSCP. Honestly I'm probably aiming for another SOC analyst role, or a threat hunting role, for my next job. So I'm wondering if I'm better off just focusing on school and saving my money for now. I already have a year of experience in the SOC and the technical domains were my Above/Strongest on the CCSP. Management was my weakest and I'm not interested in management or even governance, really. I'm more after technical roles.

I know that I should have focused on this before we actually got serious because he was open about it. He talked a little TOO much about all his past partners and sometimes even described sexual events in detail. It didn't bother me that much at the beginning of our relationship because I genuinely like him/love him and I looked past it. But now that I've caught him looking at porn and stuff, idle hands are the devil's plaything, and I keep thinking "isn't it kind of weird he had this spank bank of memories of all these random girls".

It just grosses me out. I'm a bit ashamed to say I've shamed him a lot about it but hear me out: He's very insecure and he used to try to shame me a lot to overcompensate or whatever. He would act like I was some kind of promiscuous person and convince himself he was justified in his high body count because he clearly is very sensitive about it. For context, I've been with two men and one woman besides him. He's been with at least 15 women (I suspect more) and a handful of men as well. He had a lot of random hookups and he even had a threesome with his ex-girlfriend's best friend. He also paid some girl $20 for a blowjob like a few months before we got together and I was disgusted when I found out.

I'm not mad because I want to have experienced more sex or whatever. It's about the fact that I think it says something negative about his character. Especially since he'll randomly call me sexual slurs or act like I'm cheating or like I'm promiscuous because he feels bad about himself. Just today he got mad and was like "are you calling me a wh*r3?!" (I wasn't, it was in response to some random comment)

I think the resentment stems from the fact that he probably gave me HPV. I had a clean pap smear since discovering I had it, so it cleared up, thankfully. But deep down I also worry that he'll cheat or something and give me some other STD. I guess in all honesty I do think of him as a promiscuous person and I look down on him for his past.

I also think it's gross that he never says anything nice about his ex-gf but talks nicely about the best friend that was in the threesome. Creepy.

He’s been really distant and unsupportive lately so I was already worried, then this. He even apologized for not being there for me which he never does. As the title says, my husband requested I get an STD test because I had to have surgery to remove a missed miscarriage. I was really caught off guard and it’s making me wonder if he’s cheating on me. I haven’t been able to have sex for a while because of the surgery and all the stuff beforehand. But the day before he asked he walked off in the middle of the night and went to an old friends house where a lot of uh … “questionable” people hang out. And when I was still pregnant there was this one weird time when he freaked out in the middle of the night and ran off, and then some skanky girl came around looking for him after. He denied knowing why she was after him but I was always suspicious. Anyways, what would you make of this request? Did he cheat and he’s trying to hint he has something?

I already took the nightmare SQL class and then I got into the new degree program so I have to do it all again with Data+. I got low 600s .. I honestly thought I'd do better. The exam questions are really differently worded from the practice tests and I don't like the new revamp they did to Certmaster. Does anyone have any good resources / tips for Data+ v.002? Thank you.