u/StayProfessional5716

Hello everyone,

M25 here, and, as the title says, lastly I have been having suicidal thoughts because of many failed attempts of getting a girlfriend. I will tell my backstory in order to fully understand my point of view.

Ever since I was a child, I had difficulties in socializing with girls when it came to romantic interest. Until I was 16, I have been rejected 3 times. Each time, I have been respectful, kind and with pure intentions. But each time I have been rejected. And one time even brutally rejected and bullied by my classmates for shooting my shot. ( "Hahah you are such a loser kid, did you seriously think you had a chance?" - something like that). When I was 14 I even had a suicide attempt because of a girl rejecting me. My mind was telling me that: "Dude, you have done everything that society told you to do: be kind, gentle and respectful and girls will accept you; so if this doesn't work it means you will never find true love so what's the point of living".

After this, I started highschool, and I noticed a change in the social interactions. The girls were dating only the cool guys instead of a shy nerd guy like me. I was devastated. - My family told me to treat girls nicely, and they will date me, but clearly the fuck boys are not treating them right and they still date them.

Ever since then, I desperately tried to be the cool guy in order to make girls attracted to me. But it felt like wearing a mask to hide that deep down I was being a loser. I started reading books about seduction and attending masculinity classes in order to learn how to become a man that women desire. I spent a quite amount of money on this courses from different "masculinity coaches" in a desperate attempt to become a man. Because that's what I realised I was lacking and those cool guys had. They were more masculine than me.

Anyway, by trying to replicate this alpha male behaviour, I finally got a girlfriend at 16. But I still couldn't believe that she was attracted by me. I was thinking like : she is attracted to this mask of mine, but if it falls, she will dump me for a genuine cool guy. Despite my obvious insecurites, the relationship lasted 1.5 years and I ended it because I couldn't keep my mask anymore and it felt incredibly stressful.

After this, I decided to get into Computer Science for my graduate degree, because the masculinity courses taught me: If you are not an authentic cool guy, you need to compensate with money or status in order to be accepted by women. And 6 years after that, I completed my bachelor and masters degree, and I am having a good job in this field. I think I am around top 15% in my country regarding monthly payment.

During these 6 years, I didn't give much attention to dating because I thought: I will try when I have enough money, what's the point of trying now, when I am an incomplete man and pile up more rejections?

But now I think I am ready. I have a good paying job, a decent physique ( not fully ripped yet, but I will get there), good fashion style and I am trying to be as likeable as possible. But the rejections are devastating. Ghosting over ghosting and low interest replies are hitting me in the heart like an arrow. With each rejection from a woman I am telling myself: "See, you are a piece of trash after all and no man at all. Otherwise a woman would be with you right now".

In the last year, I also started paying for sexual services because I want to be intimate with a woman. I want to enjoy sex, and be able to hold hands and laugh and go out, and enjoy my time togheter with her. But being a paid service, it is clearly an illusion. After the time runs out, the illusion fades, and the reality kicks back in. And after all, I have seen guys that were more rude than me with women and still got dates, and me, despite being a such a nice and caring person, putting everyone else above me, always there for helping someone, is getting rejected like he has some kind of disease. It is not fair man. Life is not fair. I worked my ass in college to get a good paying job and be a high value man. I think I deserve some attention from women.

With each day that passes, my mental health is declining more and more. I started taking sleeping pills, because I am scared that I will die alone, with no family and no children. In the meantime some of my friends are getting into long term relationships or getting married, and it seems like I am the last person on earth a woman would choose and I don't understand why. I really want to end this. What have I done to deserve this loneliness ? How many more standards do I need to meet in order to recieve some attention from women?

Hello everyone,

M25 here, and, as the title says, lastly I have been having suicidal thoughts because of many failed attempts of getting a girlfriend. I will tell my backstory in order to fully understand my point of view.

Ever since I was a child, I had difficulties in socializing with girls when it came to romantic interest. Until I was 16, I have been rejected 3 times. Each time, I have been respectful, kind and with pure intentions. But each time I have been rejected. And one time even brutally rejected and bullied by my classmates for shooting my shot. ( "Hahah you are such a loser kid, did you seriously think you had a chance?" - something like that). When I was 14 I even had a suicide attempt because of a girl rejecting me. My mind was telling me that: "Dude, you have done everything that society told you to do: be kind, gentle and respectful and girls will accept you; so if this doesn't work it means you will never find true love so what's the point of living".

After this, I started highschool, and I noticed a change in the social interactions. The girls were dating only the cool guys instead of a shy nerd guy like me. I was devastated. - My family told me to treat girls nicely, and they will date me, but clearly the fuck boys are not treating them right and they still date them.

Ever since then, I desperately tried to be the cool guy in order to make girls attracted to me. But it felt like wearing a mask to hide that deep down I was being a loser. I started reading books about seduction and attending masculinity classes in order to learn how to become a man that women desire. I spent a quite amount of money on this courses from different "masculinity coaches" in a desperate attempt to become a man. Because that's what I realised I was lacking and those cool guys had. They were more masculine than me.

Anyway, by trying to replicate this alpha male behaviour, I finally got a girlfriend at 16. But I still couldn't believe that she was attracted by me. I was thinking like : she is attracted to this mask of mine, but if it falls, she will dump me for a genuine cool guy. Despite my obvious insecurites, the relationship lasted 1.5 years and I ended it because I couldn't keep my mask anymore and it felt incredibly stressful.

After this, I decided to get into Computer Science for my graduate degree, because the masculinity courses taught me: If you are not an authentic cool guy, you need to compensate with money or status in order to be accepted by women. And 6 years after that, I completed my bachelor and masters degree, and I am having a good job in this field. I think I am around top 15% in my country regarding monthly payment.

During these 6 years, I didn't give much attention to dating because I thought: I will try when I have enough money, what's the point of trying now, when I am an incomplete man and pile up more rejections?

But now I think I am ready. I have a good paying job, a decent physique ( not fully ripped yet, but I will get there), good fashion style and I am trying to be as likeable as possible. But the rejections are devastating. Ghosting over ghosting and low interest replies are hitting me in the heart like an arrow. With each rejection from a woman I am telling myself: "See, you are a piece of trash after all and no man at all. Otherwise a woman would be with you right now".

In the last year, I also started paying for sexual services because I want to be intimate with a woman. I want to enjoy sex, and be able to hold hands and laugh and go out, and enjoy my time togheter with her. But being a paid service, it is clearly an illusion. After the time runs out, the illusion fades, and the reality kicks back in. And after all, I have seen guys that were more rude than me with women and still got dates, and me, despite being a such a nice and caring person, putting everyone else above me, always there for helping someone, is getting rejected like he has some kind of disease. It is not fair man. Life is not fair. I worked my ass in college to get a good paying job and be a high value man. I think I earned the right to recieve some attention from women.

With each day that passes, my mental health is declining more and more. I started taking sleeping pills, because I am scared that I will die alone, with no family and no children. In the meantime some of my friends are getting into long term relationships or getting married, and it seems like I am the last person on earth a woman would choose and I don't understand why. I really want to end this. What have I done to deserve this loneliness ? How many more standards do I need to check in order to get some attention from women ?

Hello everyone,

M25 here, and, as the title says, lastly I have been having suicidal thoughts because of many failed attempts of getting a girlfriend. I will tell my backstory in order to fully understand my point of view.

Ever since I was a child, I had difficulties in socializing with girls when it came to romantic interest. Until I was 16, I have been rejected 3 times. Each time, I have been respectful, kind and with pure intentions. But each time I have been rejected. And one time even brutally rejected and bullied by my classmates for shooting my shot. ( "Hahah you are such a loser kid, did you seriously think you had a chance?" - something like that). When I was 14 I even had a suicide attempt because of a girl rejecting me. My mind was telling me that: "Dude, you have done everything that society told you to do: be kind, gentle and respectful and girls will accept you; so if this doesn't work it means you will never find true love so what's the point of living".

After this, I started highschool, and I noticed a change in the social interactions. The girls were dating only the cool guys instead of a shy nerd guy like me. I was devastated. - My family told me to treat girls nicely, and they will date me, but clearly the fuck boys are not treating them right and they still date them.

Ever since then, I desperately tried to be the cool guy in order to make girls attracted to me. But it felt like wearing a mask to hide that deep down I was being a loser. I started reading books about seduction and attending masculinity classes in order to learn how to become a man that women desire. I spent a quite amount of money on this courses from different "masculinity coaches" in a desperate attempt to become a man. Because that's what I realised I was lacking and those cool guys had. They were more masculine than me.

Anyway, by trying to replicate this alpha male behaviour, I finally got a girlfriend at 16. But I still couldn't believe that she was attracted by me. I was thinking like : she is attracted to this mask of mine, but if it falls, she will dump me for a genuine cool guy. Despite my obvious insecurites, the relationship lasted 1.5 years and I ended it because I couldn't keep my mask anymore and it felt incredibly stressful.

After this, I decided to get into Computer Science for my graduate degree, because the masculinity courses taught me: If you are not an authentic cool guy, you need to compensate with money or status in order to be accepted by women. And 6 years after that, I completed my bachelor and masters degree, and I am having a good job in this field. I think I am around top 15% in my country regarding monthly payment.

During these 6 years, I didn't give much attention to dating because I thought: I will try when I have enough money, what's the point of trying now, when I am an incomplete man and pile up more rejections?

But now I think I am ready. I have a good paying job, a decent physique ( not fully ripped yet, but I will get there), good fashion style and I am trying to be as likeable as possible. But the rejections are devastating. Ghosting over ghosting and low interest replies are hitting me in the heart like an arrow. With each rejection from a woman I am telling myself: "See, you are a piece of trash after all and no man at all. Otherwise a woman would be with you right now".

In the last year, I also started paying for sexual services because I want to be intimate with a woman. I want to enjoy sex, and be able to hold hands and laugh and go out, and enjoy my time togheter with her. But being a paid service, it is clearly an illusion. After the time runs out, the illusion fades, and the reality kicks back in. And after all, I have seen guys that were more rude than me with women and still got dates, and me, despite being a such a nice and caring person, putting everyone else above me, always there for helping someone, is getting rejected like he has some kind of disease. It is not fair man. Life is not fair. I worked my ass in college to get a good paying job and be a high value man. I think I deserve some attention from women.

With each day that passes, my mental health is declining more and more. I started taking sleeping pills, because I am scared that I will die alone, with no family and no children. In the meantime some of my friends are getting into long term relationships or getting married, and it seems like I am the last person on earth a woman would choose and I don't understand why. I really want to end this.

Hello everyone,

M25 here, and, as the title says, lastly I have been having suicidal thoughts because of many failed attempts of getting a girlfriend. I will tell my backstory in order to fully understand my point of view.

Ever since I was a child, I had difficulties in socializing with girls when it came to romantic interest. Until I was 16, I have been rejected 3 times. Each time, I have been respectful, kind and with pure intentions. But each time I have been rejected. And one time even brutally rejected and bullied by my classmates for shooting my shot. ( "Hahah you are such a loser kid, did you seriously think you had a chance?" - something like that). When I was 14 I even had a suicide attempt because of a girl rejecting me. My mind was telling me that: "Dude, you have done everything that society told you to do: be kind, gentle and respectful and girls will accept you; so if this doesn't work it means you will never find true love so what's the point of living".

After this, I started highschool, and I noticed a change in the social interactions. The girls were dating only the cool guys instead of a shy nerd guy like me. I was devastated. - My family told me to treat girls nicely, and they will date me, but clearly the fuck boys are not treating them right and they still date them.

Ever since then, I desperately tried to be the cool guy in order to make girls attracted to me. But it felt like wearing a mask to hide that deep down I was being a loser. I started reading books about seduction and attending masculinity classes in order to learn how to become a man that women desire. I spent a quite amount of money on this courses from different "masculinity coaches" in a desperate attempt to become a man. Because that's what I realised I was lacking and those cool guys had. They were more masculine than me.

Anyway, by trying to replicate this alpha male behaviour, I finally got a girlfriend at 16. But I still couldn't believe that she was attracted by me. I was thinking like : she is attracted to this mask of mine, but if it falls, she will dump me for a genuine cool guy. Despite my obvious insecurites, the relationship lasted 1.5 years and I ended it because I couldn't keep my mask anymore and it felt incredibly stressful.

After this, I decided to get into Computer Science for my graduate degree, because the masculinity courses taught me: If you are not an authentic cool guy, you need to compensate with money or status in order to be accepted by women. And 6 years after that, I completed my bachelor and masters degree, and I am having a good job in this field. I think I am around top 15% in my country regarding monthly payment.

During these 6 years, I didn't give much attention to dating because I thought: I will try when I have enough money, what's the point of trying now, when I am an incomplete man and pile up more rejections?

But now I think I am ready. I have a good paying job, a decent physique ( not fully ripped yet, but I will get there), good fashion style and I am trying to be as likeable as possible. But the rejections are devastating. Ghosting over ghosting and low interest replies are hitting me in the heart like an arrow. With each rejection from a woman I am telling myself: "See, you are a piece of trash after all and no man at all. Otherwise a woman would be with you right now".

In the last year, I also started paying for sexual services because I want to be intimate with a woman. I want to enjoy sex, and be able to hold hands and laugh and go out, and enjoy my time togheter with her. But being a paid service, it is clearly an illusion. After the time runs out, the illusion fades, and the reality kicks back in. And after all, I have seen guys that were more rude than me with women and still got dates, and me, despite being a such a nice and caring person, putting everyone else above me, always there for helping someone, is getting rejected like he has some kind of disease. It is not fair man. Life is not fair. I worked my ass in college to get a good paying job and be a high value man. I think I deserve some attention from women.

With each day that passes, my mental health is declining more and more. I started taking sleeping pills, because I am scared that I will die alone, with no family and no children. In the meantime some of my friends are getting into long term relationships or getting married, and it seems like I am the last person on earth a woman would choose and I don't understand why. I really want to end this.

Hello everyone,

M25 here, and, as the title says, lastly I have been having suicidal thoughts because of many failed attempts of getting a girlfriend. I will tell my backstory in order to fully understand my point of view.

Ever since I was a child, I had difficulties in socializing with girls when it came to romantic interest. Until I was 16, I have been rejected 3 times. Each time, I have been respectful, kind and with pure intentions. But each time I have been rejected. And one time even brutally rejected and bullied by my classmates for shooting my shot. ( "Hahah you are such a loser kid, did you seriously think you had a chance?" - something like that). When I was 14 I even had a suicide attempt because of a girl rejecting me. My mind was telling me that: "Dude, you have done everything that society told you to do: be kind, gentle and respectful and girls will accept you; so if this doesn't work it means you will never find true love so what's the point of living".

After this, I started highschool, and I noticed a change in the social interactions. The girls were dating only the cool guys instead of a shy nerd guy like me. I was devastated. - My family told me to treat girls nicely, and they will date me, but clearly the fuck boys are not treating them right and they still date them.

Ever since then, I desperately tried to be the cool guy in order to make girls attracted to me. But it felt like wearing a mask to hide that deep down I was being a loser. I started reading books about seduction and attending masculinity classes in order to learn how to become a man that women desire. I spent a quite amount of money on this courses from different "masculinity coaches" in a desperate attempt to become a man. Because that's what I realised I was lacking and those cool guys had. They were more masculine than me.

Anyway, by trying to replicate this alpha male behaviour, I finally got a girlfriend at 16. But I still couldn't believe that she was attracted by me. I was thinking like : she is attracted to this mask of mine, but if it falls, she will dump me for a genuine cool guy. Despite my obvious insecurites, the relationship lasted 1.5 years and I ended it because I couldn't keep my mask anymore and it felt incredibly stressful.

After this, I decided to get into Computer Science for my graduate degree, because the masculinity courses taught me: If you are not an authentic cool guy, you need to compensate with money or status in order to be accepted by women. And 6 years after that, I completed my bachelor and masters degree, and I am having a good job in this field. I think I am around top 15% in my country regarding monthly payment.

During these 6 years, I didn't give much attention to dating because I thought: I will try when I have enough money, what's the point of trying now, when I am an incomplete man and pile up more rejections?

But now I think I am ready. I have a good paying job, a decent physique ( not fully ripped yet, but I will get there), good fashion style and I am trying to be as likeable as possible. But the rejections are devastating. Ghosting over ghosting and low interest replies are hitting me in the heart like an arrow. With each rejection from a woman I am telling myself: "See, you are a piece of trash after all and no man at all. Otherwise a woman would be with you right now".

In the last year, I also started paying for sexual services because I want to be intimate with a woman. I want to enjoy sex, and be able to hold hands and laugh and go out, and enjoy my time togheter with her. But being a paid service, it is clearly an illusion. After the time runs out, the illusion fades, and the reality kicks back in. And after all, I have seen guys that were more rude than me with women and still got dates, and me, despite being a such a nice and caring person, putting everyone else above me, always there for helping someone, is getting rejected like he has some kind of disease. It is not fair man. Life is not fair. I worked my ass in college to get a good paying job and be a high value man. I think I deserve some attention from women.

With each day that passes, my mental health is declining more and more. I started taking sleeping pills, because I am scared that I will die alone, with no family and no children. In the meantime some of my friends are getting into long term relationships or getting married, and it seems like I am the last person on earth a woman would choose and I don't understand why. I really want to end this.

Hello everyone,

M25 here, and, as the title says, lastly I have been having suicidal thoughts because of many failed attempts of getting a girlfriend. I will tell my backstory in order to fully understand my point of view.

Ever since I was a child, I had difficulties in socializing with girls when it came to romantic interest. Until I was 16, I have been rejected 3 times. Each time, I have been respectful, kind and with pure intentions. But each time I have been rejected. And one time even brutally rejected and bullied by my classmates for shooting my shot. ( "Hahah you are such a loser kid, did you seriously think you had a chance?" - something like that). When I was 14 I even had a suicide attempt because of a girl rejecting me. My mind was telling me that: "Dude, you have done everything that society told you to do: be kind, gentle and respectful and girls will accept you; so if this doesn't work it means you will never find true love so what's the point of living".

After this, I started highschool, and I noticed a change in the social interactions. The girls were dating only the cool guys instead of a shy nerd guy like me. I was devastated. - My family told me to treat girls nicely, and they will date me, but clearly the fuck boys are not treating them right and they still date them.

Ever since then, I desperately tried to be the cool guy in order to make girls attracted to me. But it felt like wearing a mask to hide that deep down I was being a loser. I started reading books about seduction and attending masculinity classes in order to learn how to become a man that women desire. I spent a quite amount of money on this courses from different "masculinity coaches" in a desperate attempt to become a man. Because that's what I realised I was lacking and those cool guys had. They were more masculine than me.

Anyway, by trying to replicate this alpha male behaviour, I finally got a girlfriend at 16. But I still couldn't believe that she was attracted by me. I was thinking like : she is attracted to this mask of mine, but if it falls, she will dump me for a genuine cool guy. Despite my obvious insecurites, the relationship lasted 1.5 years and I ended it because I couldn't keep my mask anymore and it felt incredibly stressful.

After this, I decided to get into Computer Science for my graduate degree, because the masculinity courses taught me: If you are not an authentic cool guy, you need to compensate with money or status in order to be accepted by women. And 6 years after that, I completed my bachelor and masters degree, and I am having a good job in this field. I think I am around top 15% in my country regarding monthly payment.

During these 6 years, I didn't give much attention to dating because I thought: I will try when I have enough money, what's the point of trying now, when I am an incomplete man and pile up more rejections?

But now I think I am ready. I have a good paying job, a decent physique ( not fully ripped yet, but I will get there), good fashion style and I am trying to be as likeable as possible. But the rejections are devastating. Ghosting over ghosting and low interest replies are hitting me in the heart like an arrow. With each rejection from a woman I am telling myself: "See, you are a piece of trash after all and no man at all. Otherwise a woman would be with you right now".

In the last year, I also started paying for sexual services because I want to be intimate with a woman. I want to enjoy sex, and be able to hold hands and laugh and go out, and enjoy my time togheter with her. But being a paid service, it is clearly an illusion. After the time runs out, the illusion fades, and the reality kicks back in. And after all, I have seen guys that were more rude than me with women and still got dates, and me, despite being a such a nice and caring person, putting everyone else above me, always there for helping someone, is getting rejected like he has some kind of disease. It is not fair man. Life is not fair. I worked my ass in college to get a good paying job and be a high value man. I think I deserve some attention from women.

With each day that passes, my mental health is declining more and more. I started taking sleeping pills, because I am scared that I will die alone, with no family and no children. In the meantime some of my friends are getting into long term relationships or getting married, and it seems like I am the last person on earth a woman would choose and I don't understand why. I really want to end this.