u/Street-Animal4469

My nboss assigned me an individual project. Part of the project is to digitally index my documents into our digital database. But my coworker solely handles indexing. When I told my nboss I will email my ncoworker when I upload my documents she said no, she will have an external colleague do the work.....

Mind you, my nboss said she wants more team work and wrote me up in my annual performance review for "not engaging enough" with the team. 2024-2025 I was dealing with Karen tantrums from both of them so I finally documented racial discrimination. They stopped their antics. My nboss was enabling my nncoworker and her racist targeted tantrums.

I am using overtime to do this project and I really need the money. It is super frustrating and annoying that I cant even complete my own work and I want to complete my own work so I can get paid more overtime hours.

I'm not even telling my coworker what to do. I would literally just be sending her an email of the time of upload and approx how many documents are in the upload. But we had a lot of problems before because my ncoworker would take credit for my work, misplace my work, and lie about her work load and blame me. She would throw tantrums because she did not want to work with anyone beside the nboss so she would try to intimidate me.

The CFO had a talk with her and everyone agreed to cut the bs but my nboss is still enabling weird ass behaviors of course. But my nboss was so embarrassed she revealed her narcissistic personality. In Aug 2025 I accused her of being a racist and enabling my racist coworker, and thats when she finally cut the bs. She has been on her best behavior since. But I fear she may try to start again.

Options:

1. I could email my coworker, CC my nboss (and maybe CC the CFO) letting them know time of upload and number of documents.
2. I would have to ask permission from my nboss to email my coworker. If my nboss doesnt agree, I would follow up with an email explaining that I believe she is continuing to enable my ncoworker hateful behaviors which deny me to finish my work by assigning my project to an external colleague. Yet, somehow I am still being blamed for "lack of team work" when these people cant even communicate without hostility.

I have no problem working with racist because I will absolutely document and I will get paid either way.

Sorry if this is not the right sub.

Last year, a large department store in my city was closing and filed for bankruptcy. They were having a huge blowout sale for several months. All of the employees were facing an imminent**** (cant edit the title) layoff.

While I am typically anticonsumption, this department store was more symbolically sentimental to me. I spent a lot of my adolescence roaming around the store and mall with my friends (pre social media activities).

Honestly I just wanted to buy something to hold that sentiment. Every few months they increased their discounts because they needed to liquidate everything.

I asked an employee at the customer service counter which days were the least busy because I have social anxiety in crowded public spaces. I work in the neighborhood so its easy for me to stop by but Im not sure what the influx of tourist is like.

The employee asked why I wanted to know. I said I was curious to know when all the good stuff will be gone. She laughed in my face and said "Yeaah no, Im not telling you that. Thats confidential." Mind you, google maps has a feature where you can see popular business hours data.

She is getting laid off and she is still trying to protect this corporation. How pathetic is that? I know sales people tend to have an agressive personality (I have also worked in retail sales) but jeez I didnt think it was that serious. Personally, I would be pissed at my employer if I was a middle aged person getting laid off from a customer service job. I will never understand this level of boot licking. I dont think she even sells or makes commission considering she works at the customer service counter. Yet, somehow I was being inappropriate for trying to find out "insider" information.

After college, I moved back to my hometown. I had friends from hs reach out to me to reconnect (huge mistake on my part). One of my friends was really into dating and had me use Hinge (this was 2022). I didnt realize it at the time but she was a huge pick me. She hated her exbf so I thought she knew how useless men were but she doesnt have any sisters, only a brother and she has a good relationship with her father so she thinks men sees us as equals.

She would invite me out to the clubs and bars and I would go because I needed to socialize more. One night we went bar hopping and she went on a date earlier so her date decided to tag along. He is from our hometown so I didnt find him offensive in anyway. They were exclusive but not dating seriously. She started acting out in the club and assumed I wasnt having fun bc I was not acting out. She started to try to hook me up with random men but I assured her I was fine socializing among friends (her date's friends met us at the bar). She insisted that I talk to this one guy who was gross and lame. I told the guy my friend was drunk and I was absolutely not interested, and I preferred if he left me alone but he would not leave. I asked my friend's date to tell him to leave which pissed the date off bc they were already having relationship problems (she didnt even like him, she was just dating him to date him).

This creep ended up finding me on hinge a few days later. Men have such the audacity. I dont look down on uneducated people but I am college educated and this man was in his 30s working as an undercover security at a discount retail store.

Fast forward a year, my friend started dating someone else who sounded lame af. She started calling her previous bf "feminine" and "fruity looking". Then proceed to tell me how her new bf was traveling and went to a luxury grocery store to get a viral beauty enhancing smoothie. These arent health smoothies, these are beauty enhancing smoothies. Imagine being a woman waiting in a 2hr line and you see a man there. Nothing wrong with that but its crazy to me how women date losers just to talk shit about them later on. I cut people off and say shit to their face before I talk shit about them behind their back.

I pointed out the irony of calling her ex fruity looking but her new bf is follows women's trends. She heavily believes in the gender binary so I dont think she understood that she might be more masculine and needs a feminine partner to balance her out. She shortly after cut me off because she got the hint idgaf about her bf problems.

I was not a good prospect for her future wedding party anymore so I was deemed useless. We didnt have much interests in common anyway but she never made an effort to do things I wanted to do. But if a man suggested it, she would be on board.

In the beginning of the year I tried to make a payment of $10k from Bitcoin earnings. It was my first time transferring that amount of money so I didn't realize it would trigger a hold on my bank account (HYSA). This was my fault.

I make $1200 additional payments on top of the minimum payments that my mom helps me pay. Last month, I tried to make a payment from my HYSA acct again but it wouldn't go through so I had to transfer to my checking acct then make a payment to SM. I guess Sallie Mae flagged my HYSA acct so I can't make payment through my HYSA bank acct anymore.

I feel like this second time wasnt my fault. I am going to call SM tomorrow to try to dispute it but they are so money hungry so I don't feel so optimistic. I checked my loan activity and they charged me $20 "check bounce back" the first time and the second time. I understand the first time was my fault but these are bank wire transfers not checks. Plus it seems like a mistake on their end.

My loan activity says my payment was successful with my HYSA acct last month but no money was transferred through my HYSA. I made my payment through my checking acct but it says that this transaction was "reversed". When I look at my FICO score on Experian, SM reported that I made double the payments ($2400) so my FICO score went up 7 pts. My debt on Experian is lower than SM by about $1200. SM reported to the credit bureaus that both payments went through but my bank accts says otherwise.

I'm scared when I talk to Sallie Mae, they might affect my FICO score negatively by adjusting the payment amounts.

Never saw one in my daily line to work until today. Time to tag in people

I was walking out of my acupuncture appt. I waited to cross the street because there was already an on coming truck. I proceeded to walk expecting the next vehicle to wait at least 3 secs (on a 4 way intersection, stop signs on each direction). The driver drives up to me as im crossing the crosswalk. I try to make eye contact but the entire windshield was tinted. All i could see was the hands of a man on the steering wheel. I try to look inside from the passenger seat and all the windows are tinted. But then the woman in the passenger seat basically presses her face against the window to stick her tongue at me and flip me off. 

I am still so confused by the situation. I live in one of the most walkable cities in the world. The street/neighborhood I was walking on is known for a lot of pedestrian traffic and vehicle traffic bc the roads are not that wide. 

I do not understand this entitlement. At least have the courage to roll down your window and say it with your chest. These people are angry behind tinted windows. Such cowards. Im bad with car models but I think it was a black Acura SUV. Not sure what that says about them. 

These people are definitely transplants because people who are from this city actually care about coexisting with others. This was such a bizarre experience for a car to try to bully a pedestrian into walking faster or whatever their intention was. I cant imagine people who are in a rush being so mad at a pedestrian with the right of way. I have no idea why the passenger was so infuriated about a small inconvenience. Im not sure if they get off on scaring pedestrians to move out of their way or what. People are really so miserable.

Misogyny and homophobia is literally rooted in racism. People hate when you call out their favorite celebrity for racist shit they've said or done. They'll start calling you misogynistic or homophobic as if its mutually exclusive.

Everyone including oppressors/abusers are negatively affected by racism.

People especially on reddit snark subs love to have oppressor olympics bc their favorite celebrity isn't saying slurs out loud. These people still need to hear slurs to identify racism. On top of that, they want you to connect the dots for them and educate them. All because you called out their favorite celebrity for being a racist.

Here's an example:

https://www.reddit.com/r/sighswoonsnark/comments/1tu0pp1/comment/op7bx7l/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

I got banned from r/SFbitcheswithtaste bc I made a post inquiring for friends specifically with other dog owners my age but was very clear I was not open to being friends with anyone in tech. I got 10+ nasty comments from techies saying why I would ask for friends if Im so exclusive. Then the mods deleted my post and banned me for posting a "low engagement" post.

It's hard to make friends as an adult. Being born and raised in SF, it feels like a shame to outgrow your friends. I generally get along with most people but that doesn't mean I like most people. I have strong moral values and ethics that SF culture raised me to have.

I'm not sorry I don't want to be friends with Karen who has never done any other drugs than weed. I know myself enough to know that I won't get along with Meghan who is still in relationship with her hs bf from her hometown in the midwest.

There are extremely few people (i'd estimate less than 1%) that move to SF intentionally to be in a diverse culture. This means having to coexist with people different than you, and yes that means coexisting with homeless people too. Poverty and wealth discrepancy is part of SF.

College should be free and accessible to everyone. I know its not everyone's path. But going to college forced me to grow and consider people's perspectives I don't agree with.

Everyone I know is still stuck in survival mode because they haven't challenged themselves in anyway. Buddhism says all life is suffering but it gets to a point like aren't you sick of suffering in the same way?

I did drugs to cope with my abusive parents as a child. It was never the life I wanted to live. Some of my friends did outgrow drugs but still have extremely low self esteem. I overcame addiction and did a lot of work in therapy because I didn't want to continue to suffer in the same way I grew up (breaking generational trauma if you want to label it).

I don't relate to people with "generational" wealth because I am still in a lot of student loan debt and we just don't have the same values. Im a conscious consumer. I can't travel or have elaborate hobbies yet. I'm in my late 20s so I'm still young. I don't necessarily feel behind. I just feel alone. I don't have anyone I can relate to. People say it's an lonely path being first gen college but I didn't realize how long it continued. I guess I should've tried to make more friends in college with all the ethnic clubs.

I tried being friends with my older coworkers and they all excuse racism and bigotry. Civil Rights Act wasn't implemented too long ago so I imagine the curriculum for college has changed significantly. They accept that this is how the world is suppose to be.

Nobody wants liberation. Family and friends try to bring me down for having "high" standards of living. They expect you to suffer the way they suffer because they think its a right of passage. They can't accept that we all suffer differently. They just want trauma olympics. They dont want community because that would mean they would have to change and do better for themselves and others. They get angry at me when I try to reason with their fears and ignorance. They don't want to be challenged which is fine but living life driven by fear, ignorance and hedonism sounds miserable. But misery loves company i guess.