u/Strikerz43

...and now you've passed away.

Just leaving after 12 years together, with 7 years of marriage, and without clearing the air as to why you've left. I know our marriage and headspace were FUBAR by the end. I never held it against you. Even if we had our disagreements, I never crossed the boundaries that you were cavalier about.

We've both moved on. I took our divorce easily, but never achieved the closure that I wanted (and you, well, never chose).

I won't get that chance, especially after the text I got.

I'm grieving, not for the sunk cost, but for the first seven years we pushed for better outcomes. I chose you, even though in hindsight you weren't my person. I was the cheerleader, the small, detailed half, and the person who saw your imperfections and never held it against you.

I am grieving for your family, and the fact that they've lost a daughter and sister. I am grieving for my friends who have taken you in - as well as for your friends, whom I adored, respected, and encouraged to talk more.

I did the social media appreciation thing. Your family will get a letter and flowers from my partner and me. It's the closure I have to play. It ain't much, but I owe them that much and nothing more.

I never wished you harm or hardship. I just wanted you to be happy. I hope that your transition to the next universe/astral plane/world will be a peaceful one. But thank you for being there for a third of my life (and at least pushing me to be a decent human and partner).

Stay cool. See you on the other side.

...and now you've passed away.

Just leaving after 12 years together, with 7 years of marriage, and without clearing the air as to why you've left. I know our marriage and headspace were FUBAR by the end. I never held it against you. Even if we had our disagreements, I never crossed the boundaries that you were cavalier about.

We've both moved on. I took our divorce easily, but never achieved the closure that I wanted (and you, well, never chose).

I won't get that chance, especially after the text I got.

I'm grieving, not for the sunk cost, but for the first seven years we pushed for better outcomes. I chose you, even though in hindsight you weren't my person. I was the cheerleader, the small, detailed half, and the person who saw your imperfections and never held it against you.

I am grieving for your family, and the fact that they've lost a daughter and sister. I am grieving for my friends who have taken you in - as well as for your friends, whom I adored, respected, and encouraged to talk more.

I did the social media appreciation thing. Your family will get a letter and flowers from my partner and me. It's the closure I have to play. It ain't much, but I owe them that much and nothing more.

I never wished you harm or hardship. I just wanted you to be happy. I hope that your transition to the next universe/astral plane/world will be a peaceful one. But thank you for being there for a third of my life (and at least pushing me to be a decent human and partner).

Stay cool. See you on the other side.

So I (40/m) found out this week that my ex-wife of 7 years (39/f) passed away. We were together for 12 years (7 of them married). We had an amicable divorce four years ago, but she was also emotionally cold, financially abusive, and likely emotionally cheating at the time of separation.

I've learned to forgive early, along with radical acceptance, and severed contact with her family and her friends. I found myself and reconnected with people since then, even with a new partner and later, a baby. I moved on.

I received a text from one of her friends, and broke the news.

Of course, I am grieving a bit - both the good and bad memories have taken over and will never get the closure I thought I would have (I conceded that I wouldn't get it at all) and while I haven't talked to her or her family or friends, I thought if I sent flowers and a card, I can at least be compassionate and can achieve that level of closure.

While I grieve for her friends and family (and my friends who took my ex-wife as one of theirs), I know that I can only do so much - which is really the bare minimum. My partner, thankfully, has been empathetic and has supported this path, knowing that it's the only thing I intend to do.

I will not attend any services (not that anyone will disclose that), nor will I seek to reconnect. Just gratitude for 12 years as part of the family. WIBTA if I do this one act and walk away?

We met through Tinder three years ago, and met at Pike Place while I was visiting for work. We were both starting over since we were both divorced, and had a great time laughing about the insanity of the PNW and Bellevue; (and me dealing with “Blerd in the Bay Area”) and your hilarious response to my “I haven’t had a first date since Obama’s First Term!”

It was a blur, and remembered it like it was yesterday…okay, three years later.

I foolishly didn’t ask for your number (we had used the messaging in the app then my brain went blank), I wanted to apologize for not getting back to you when I should’ve. You’re a great soul that I wished to have known more (and a reason to fly back here). I hope that you’re in a better place and a great headspace and that your new chapter has been a stress- and sucka-free one.

D

Outside of pestering North Bay Transit Riders Union, where can I get a “Yes on C” sign to bother the “Nextdoor elite” about supporting trains?

The Ballot Measure itself