u/Stunning_Tea_4795

I feel completely trapped in my life right now and I don’t know what the right decision is anymore.

I just turned 18 today, and on my birthday my aunt told me that if I continue seeing my boyfriend or continue the relationship, I’ll need to find somewhere else to live because she thinks the relationship is too toxic and doesn’t want it affecting the household anymore.

For context, my boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years. There has been cheating and toxic/abusive behavior in the relationship before, and I know from the outside people probably think the answer is obvious. But I love him deeply, and I honestly think we have a trauma bond, which makes everything feel so much harder emotionally.

I lost my parents when I was young, so attachment and fear of abandonment are huge issues for me. He’s become such a major part of my emotional support system, daily life, and comfort that the idea of cutting him off feels unbearable to me. At the same time, I’m scared of being hurt again. I still think about the cheating constantly and worry he could do something like that again or hurt me emotionally in another way.

What makes this even harder is that he’s not in a good situation mentally or emotionally himself, and I’m genuinely scared that if I fully leave him or cut him off, he could spiral into depression or hurt himself. I also feel terrified to even tell him what my aunt said because I think he might decide on his own to stop talking to me completely so I don’t lose my housing or damage my family relationships further.

The problem is, I already feel like I’ve ruined those relationships anyway. Before my 18th birthday I secretly stayed the night with him, and since then things with my family have become horrible. My sister didn’t even come to my birthday today and hasn’t spoken to me since. I feel like I’ve already thrown away parts of my relationship with my family over this relationship, which makes me feel even more attached to him because now it feels like he’s all I really have left emotionally.

I feel stuck between:
- staying with someone I love but risking my housing/family support and possibly getting hurt again
- or leaving someone I’m deeply attached to and feeling completely alone and guilty

The worst part is that I’ve become so overwhelmed by all of this that sometimes I start feeling like my life is such a mess that the only way out is to stop existing entirely. I have been depressed most of my life, my mother committed suicide when I was 8. I think that’s part of the reason I’ve always seen it as an option if things got too hard. And as an opportunity to maybe see my parents again if there is something after we die.

I believe in God but it’s hard to be certain there is something there when you die if you are planning on killing yourself. I want to be hopeful that there is something there and it’s not just nothingness but at the same time I cant help but wonder if I’m going to end up cutting the only experience of this life, the only awareness of the universe I’ll ever get. And then that’s it. Of course it will happen one day and I’ll die but it is hard to make the decision to stop the experience of life early without the 100% reassurance and proof that there is some kind of peace or heaven after death. I genuinely feel emotionally exhausted and trapped and I don’t know how to move forward.

I only have a few days to tell my aunt if I am done with him or if I am looking for a new place to live. The only plan I have is the note I’d leave behind when I end my life. I think I would spiral into the worst depression and darkness of my life if I gave him up. But I’m also not satisfied being with someone who I don’t trust to not cheat on me. I don’t get why my brain works this way, anyone reading must think I’m an idiot and it’s so obvious what I need to do and leave. But I can’t help but love him and feel empty without him.

I would really appreciate advice, especially from people who’ve experienced trauma bonds, toxic relationships, family ultimatums, or feeling emotionally dependent on someone

I feel completely trapped in my life right now and I don’t know what the right decision is anymore.

I just turned 18 today, and on my birthday my aunt told me that if I continue seeing my boyfriend or continue the relationship, I’ll need to find somewhere else to live because she thinks the relationship is too toxic and doesn’t want it affecting the household anymore.

For context, my boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years. There has been cheating and toxic/abusive behavior in the relationship before, and I know from the outside people probably think the answer is obvious. But I love him deeply, and I honestly think we have a trauma bond, which makes everything feel so much harder emotionally.

I lost my parents when I was young, so attachment and fear of abandonment are huge issues for me. He’s become such a major part of my emotional support system, daily life, and comfort that the idea of cutting him off feels unbearable to me. At the same time, I’m scared of being hurt again. I still think about the cheating constantly and worry he could do something like that again or hurt me emotionally in another way.

What makes this even harder is that he’s not in a good situation mentally or emotionally himself, and I’m genuinely scared that if I fully leave him or cut him off, he could spiral into depression or hurt himself. I also feel terrified to even tell him what my aunt said because I think he might decide on his own to stop talking to me completely so I don’t lose my housing or damage my family relationships further.

The problem is, I already feel like I’ve ruined those relationships anyway. Before my 18th birthday I secretly stayed the night with him, and since then things with my family have become horrible. My sister didn’t even come to my birthday today and hasn’t spoken to me since. I feel like I’ve already thrown away parts of my relationship with my family over this relationship, which makes me feel even more attached to him because now it feels like he’s all I really have left emotionally.

I feel stuck between:
- staying with someone I love but risking my housing/family support and possibly getting hurt again
- or leaving someone I’m deeply attached to and feeling completely alone and guilty

The worst part is that I’ve become so overwhelmed by all of this that sometimes I start feeling like my life is such a mess that the only way out is to stop existing entirely. I have been depressed most of my life, my mother committed suicide when I was 8. I think that’s part of the reason I’ve always seen it as an option if things got too hard. And as an opportunity to maybe see my parents again if there is something after we die.

I believe in God but it’s hard to be certain there is something there when you die if you are planning on killing yourself. You want to be hopeful that there is something there and it’s not just nothingness but at the same time I cant help but wonder if I’m going to end up cutting the only experience of this life, the only awareness of the universe I’ll ever get. And then that’s it. Of course it will happen one day and I’ll die but it is hard to make the decision to stop the experience of life early without the 100% reassurance and proof that there is some kind of peace or heaven after death. I genuinely feel emotionally exhausted and trapped and I don’t know how to move forward.

I only have a few days to tell my aunt if I am done with him or if I am looking for a new place to live. The only plan I have is the note I’d leave behind when I end my life. I think I would spiral into the worst depression and darkness of my life if I gave him up. But I’m also not satisfied being with someone who I don’t trust to not cheat on me. I don’t get why my brain works this way, anyone reading must think I’m an idiot and it’s so obvious what I need to do and leave. But I can’t help but love him and feel empty without him.

I would really appreciate advice, especially from people who’ve experienced trauma bonds, toxic relationships, family ultimatums, or feeling emotionally dependent on someone

I feel completely trapped in my life right now and I don’t know what the right decision is anymore.

I just turned 18 today, and on my birthday my aunt told me that if I continue seeing my boyfriend or continue the relationship, I’ll need to find somewhere else to live because she thinks the relationship is too toxic and doesn’t want it affecting the household anymore.

For context, my boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years. There has been cheating and toxic/abusive behavior in the relationship before, and I know from the outside people probably think the answer is obvious. But I love him deeply, and I honestly think we have a trauma bond, which makes everything feel so much harder emotionally.

I lost my parents when I was young, so attachment and fear of abandonment are huge issues for me. He’s become such a major part of my emotional support system, daily life, and comfort that the idea of cutting him off feels unbearable to me. At the same time, I’m scared of being hurt again. I still think about the cheating constantly and worry he could do something like that again or hurt me emotionally in another way.

What makes this even harder is that he’s not in a good situation mentally or emotionally himself, and I’m genuinely scared that if I fully leave him or cut him off, he could spiral into depression or hurt himself. I also feel terrified to even tell him what my aunt said because I think he might decide on his own to stop talking to me completely so I don’t lose my housing or damage my family relationships further.

The problem is, I already feel like I’ve ruined those relationships anyway. Before my 18th birthday I secretly stayed the night with him, and since then things with my family have become horrible. My sister didn’t even come to my birthday today and hasn’t spoken to me since. I feel like I’ve already thrown away parts of my relationship with my family over this relationship, which makes me feel even more attached to him because now it feels like he’s all I really have left emotionally.

I feel stuck between:
- staying with someone I love but risking my housing/family support and possibly getting hurt again
- or leaving someone I’m deeply attached to and feeling completely alone and guilty

The worst part is that I’ve become so overwhelmed by all of this that sometimes I start feeling like my life is such a mess that the only way out is to stop existing entirely. I have been depressed most of my life, my mother committed suicide when I was 8. I think that’s part of the reason I’ve always seen it as an option if things got too hard. And as an opportunity to maybe see my parents again if there is something after we die.

I believe in God but it’s hard to be certain there is something there when you die if you are planning on killing yourself. I want to be hopeful that there is something there and it’s not just nothingness but at the same time I cant help but wonder if I’m going to end up cutting the only experience of the universe that I’ll ever get short. And then that’s it. Of course it will happen one day and I’ll die but it is hard to make the decision to stop the experience of life early without the 100% reassurance and proof that there is some kind of peace or heaven after death. I genuinely feel emotionally exhausted and trapped and I don’t know how to move forward.

I only have a few days to tell my aunt if I am done with him or if I am looking for a new place to live. The only plan I have is the note I’d leave behind when I end my life. I think I would spiral into the worst depression and darkness of my life if I gave him up. But I’m also not satisfied being with someone who I don’t trust to not cheat on me. I don’t get why my brain works this way, anyone reading must think I’m an idiot and it’s so obvious what I need to do and leave. But I can’t help but love him and feel empty without him.

I would really appreciate advice, especially from people who’ve experienced trauma bonds, toxic relationships, family ultimatums, or feeling emotionally dependent on someone

I need help figuring out how to find a caregiver. I am a new Little and have never have a caregiver but really want to find one but idk who to ask or how to find someone who is willing to do that

Hello, my name is Bella I am 18 and im from Washington, I play stardew valley, Minecraft, Roblox, chill games like that and I am always looking for a new friend to play with and im usually always online, I will call and hop on right now if someone sees this and wants to play somethingg loll. I’m also down to try new games and new things and see what other people are interested in! Hmu and lmkk!