u/Sugarplumsunshine-

Fortunately, I'm counting by the day and not by the minute. Here's the layout.

I've had 3 deaths in 3 months. (May, June, July)

Moved in with my fiance and we are renting his mother's home (who is moving away to retire). However, we're having to "audit" the home. There wasn't enough space for me to move in without making space. (Turning the guest room into my bedroom, vacuum sealing EVERYTHING we can, deciding what needs to be donated/sold/extra/go with her when she retires)...

I decided to enroll in a summer class for my bachelors program, nothing crazy just spanish 101. (Of course I enrolled before I knew what stress was going to occur)

Even after moving out of my parent's house, I'm still called almost daily to drive my grandmother to the store, pay the power bill, pay the water bill, I pay the phone bill, just paid off mine/brother's phones, I mow their lawn, I've been asked to move furniture, etc. (I moved out 2mo ago). That boundary with them is another story, so just know I'm trying my best but we're italian and it's so hard.

Just took our dog to the vet today because we think he's beginning his decline. He's 13 with a life expectancy of 12-14.

Oh! And even though we're moving in to rent his mother's home... She told us (after I was only living in the home for 2 weeks), that she wants to sell the home within a year 👍

Sooo. My fiance and I talked. He is sending me on a 5 day vacation to my favorite place to enjoy and relax.

I still have 7 days left of this summer class but I'm a whole week behind. Trying my best to get by but I can barely clean up my own clutter. Working 30 hr/wk. How would you get through these next 15 days?

TLDR: overly mental loaded eldest daughter, brothers aren't held to same expectations, family doesn't see the inequality or how poorly I'm doing due to their treatment. If I set boundaries I'm selfish and "everything is always about" me.

I moved out about 2 months ago from my parent's house (father/grandmother) to live with my fiance. I live 30 minutes away, as do both of my brothers. I work nearby my parents house, so, I don't mind coming over and helping of course.

However, I'm asked to do things for my parent's house almost every day after work. Mow the lawn, drive grandmother to the store or take her shopping, move furniture, bring stuff to the curb. Those things alone aren't heavy tasks! I'm still paying the electric bill (roughly $250+/mo), and I process the water bill payment for them. I pay the phone bill, but that is set up in a way that works out. (dad pays car insurance, I pay phone bill, it balances).

In the last two months since I've left: 2 in laws have died slowly over multiple weeks(one right after another), prior to that a family dog died unexpectedly, I'm doing a summer college class, working 30 hours a week, and downsizing my mother in law's house because she asked us to (we are "renting" her home as she is transitioning to a retirment community, but we are responsible for downsizing a 25y/o home that has never been sorted, essentially). And of course, I moved homes.

My brothers aren't asked to help at all though. The response is "well they work", "well they're busy", "well they have too much on their plate". We don't even do birthday's at my parent's house as of this year because myself and my cousin (f) got tired of setting up/planning/cooking/decorating/coordinating/cleaning dishes/cleaning the house alone. We asked if my brothers would do the dishes, but again the adults disregarded our mental load and instead found "compromise" not equality.

I try to set boundaries and I understand it is my job to protect my mental health but I have been groomed for this way of life. I'm now broken hearted by setting my own boundaries. My brothers are allowed to talk to me any which way they want, but I'm not allowed to defend myself or tell them that they're even being mean/rude. I'm black sheeped because I'm trying to escape poverty as well. They think my fiance treats me far better than I deserve and that I'm spoiled by him.

Please tell me I'm not crazy. I'm so burnt out. I'm taking a mental health solo trip to my favorite PNW city in 2.5 weeks. Planned it last night because I can't keep going at this rate. I thought moving away would give me my freedom, but I feel shackled. I feel indebted. The women in my family are southern, 50's lifestyle idealistic wives. So, mother and grandmother don't empathize. My cousin and I are millennial/gen z feminists. If that helps.

Hi everyone! I live in the south-east United States. I am surrounded by Spanish speaking customers, and friends. I am taking Spanish for my college credits, 3 total classes.

Unfortunately, I'm attending an online college that doesn't offer Japanese or Korean online so Spanish is my choice for school. I haven't really had much of a drive to learn Spanish because I'm not immersed in Spanish media at home.

I do immerse myself in quite a bit of Japanese and Korean media though! So, I think ultimately I want to learn both of these over time.

Spanish is practical for every day life. J & K are enjoyable for media consumption.

As others who have learned or are learning another language, how would you stage your studies along with these other two languages (as hobbies). I will be finished with Spanish in December. By December my classes should have me in a good spot to navigate my customer service job. Should I continue my Japanese language learning while in this class? (japanese learning, hobby, began in may) Or would it be better to channel one language at a time?

Also, definitely not saying Korean is an easy language to learn. Much respect to how complex languages are. I've heard that Korean is a easy language to begin learning? Because of the writing system? Thoughts?

I believe that if you have to force something in life then it isn't meant to be. I've tried learning Japanese 3x now. Here's my experiences. Needing hope that one day things will lighten up, and maybe someone else has experienced this in their life. I love Japanese art, music, tv shows, movies, anime & manga. Enough so, that I would love to learn the language! I have an International House with free language club hours once a week. I have met some really great people through that club!

I had plans to be an art history teacher with a concentration in east asian art history. The appropriation of east asian arts in europe really inspired my curiosity and fueled my drive to learn Japanese. So, I joined the japanese club! I was doing duolingo, watching videos, trying to make it to club meetings. The meetings were at 6pm, on a weekday in the city. So it was difficult to make it in time between work, school and being a dog parent. Ultimately I was uncomfortable coming out of my shell and opening up to people. I decided to put Japanese to the side to fully concentrate on my degree and then i would pick it back up.

Fast forward, I finished my degree! Woo!! Only... I learned about the harsh reality of how competitive teaching jobs are in the arts.. I think for my specific dream job i saw on a reddit thread that there were once 1500+ applicants to a single position...:| ... Okay that stinks. Reality hit... Okay lets pivot.

I take an immediate turn into pre-reqs for dental hygiene. I'm killin it. Doing great! Straight A's....Stressed as all get-out. Over winter break I reach back out to my japanese group, attend a pot luck. Meet some great people, and reconnect with a friend from the group. I order genki and study for fun. But my brain cant take it. I'm so stressed about my TEAS test and getting into the program. I ultimately didn't make it in. Very thankful, because I found my love for chemistry along the way.

Now, I am doing ASU online. It is paid for by starbucks, cool! I have to start my language courses over, because my associates degree only went from the 101 to 102 level, they needed up to 201 level.

But! ASU offers Japanese!!!..only in person classes...which as a starbucks partner i am not eligible for...But, couldn't i take classes at a local college? My local community college doesn't offer it for a credit... But a local university does!!! too expensive even after pell grant... But wait! another university offers it online for only $280/class!!...not for credit. only for certificate. So the risk would be spending about $900 (for 3 classes at the 101,102, and 201 levels) and studying to hopefully pass the placement test up into the 202 course level (which is the level at which they allow online learning for japanese)... Or I could just take spanish for free :)...

Thanks for reading...please share a similar experience? Whether it be with japanese or another area in life. The timing never seems right :( I've tried trouble shooting in every way possible.

I had anorexia when I was 19-21. Pretty tough bout of it, dove right in. Since, have recovered. I am 27 now.

I am friends with people who are currently going through their own ED. It’s really difficult for me to abstain from talking about why their body *is* hurting. Or why they *dont* have energy. They don’t want to hear it, and I don’t want to close a door of positive encouragement for them.

Recently started weightlifting, feel more amazing than cardio ever had me feeling. I’m practicing timing my meals with the workouts. Stretching well. And lifting heavy. Well, I talked to my friend about this and she was concerned about getting bulky.

I can’t change people who don’t want to change, but this round-a-bout is so difficult for me

What has your experience been? How have you navigated this