u/Sulani_23

Hi all! This is just a vent and I want to be immediately clear that I am not generalizing this community at all and am just sharing my experience in my specific local engaging in ENM and am curious if anyone else has felt this or if I’m just having bad luck or maybe I’m just not likable lmfao.

My (25F Bi) Boyfriend (25M) have been ENM for about 3 years and have played with different dynamics. Over the last 2 years or so I have been looking for a FWB or even possible romantic/poly connection with myself and another sapphic identifying woman. I am matching with people on the apps with the same goal, yet I keep running into the same problem and It’s completely exhausting me at this point; nobody gives a fuck about anyone but themselves. I could ask them 1000 questions about themselves yet never do they turn around and say “what about you”. I told a girl “i graduated grad school last week!” and she legitimately replied with “i’m really sad today, can you give me attention.” It could be days and days of talking and they haven’t even asked me what my job is even though I know the name of their childhood cat.

I’ve especially noticed a lot of bi women who are seeking experiences with women also completely want me to be the man. Pay, be the one to travel or drive or pick them up, compliment them without expecting compliments in return, plan everything, ask about them and do nothing but listen and dote over them. None of them seem interested in treating me like a feminine equal. I’ve even returned the favor of sexy pictures with no acknowledgment after making them feel gorgeous.

I got on facetime with a girl one time and she did not ask me a single question about myself and legit just talked about her husband the entire hour long call. The same girl then told me over text that she wanted to be my girlfriend but I had to ask her because she doesn’t chase. It just feels so belittling.

On multiple occasions, different women would constantly send me snap chats of them kissing on their male partner and saying “my baby” “the love of my life” etc. That doesn’t bother me or make me jealous on its own, but all of those things combined it just starts to give “i want more attention and my man said i’m only allowed to get in from another woman because with a man it would be cheating.” I’ve literally had a girl tell me that it’s a one sided open relationship because she would probably kill her man if he hooked up with another girl. Just so so so belittling.

Has anyone experienced this as well?

Hi all! Looking for some help navigating compulsive masturbation with a young adult client related to a childhood assault. I feel very comfortable to engage in this discussion, just feeling a little lost on how to help. I have been conceptualizing it as a stimulation seeking behavior, but I don’t know if that’s the best way to go about it. Any advice?

Hi all! Hope you are doing well! I am a new grad who has begun working at the private practice I interned at. My first day back since being re-eligible for clinical work was about 3 weeks ago. My day to day is a bit similar with some drop off in frequency due to my rate increase, the summer, getting everyone back on schedule, and 2 clients closed when I graduated. In grad school, I saw about 18-22 a week (for free of course) and right now I’m lucky if I break 10. My pay is fair and I know I’m in a privileged position but how do you stop stressing??! I am a firm believer in the law of detachment (for myself, i don’t push it on to clients) and that when you release, it will come to you, but I just had a first session no show to which I had to offer the promised one time exception and of course it’s cutting into my pay for this week. I love private practice life for my current phase of life especially after never pausing my academics, but I’m finding myself so nervous about if i will make good money or not. What strategies have helped you let go and allow?

Edit: I think I should have said group practice to clarify this is not my own business. I am a W-2 employee.

Edit again: It’s just ARGGHHH because in my area, If i can consistently see 15 a week I WILL make more money than in agency. Just feels so uncertain.

I (25F) think loneliness may be the lesson I was assigned to learn this lifetime.

I’m starting to become convinced in probability some self-victimizing way, but I’m so tired. I can’t make or keep friends no matter how hard I try. I’m starting to give up. The friends I “keep” are just the people I allow to use me for the sake of saying I have friends.

I had a best friend of 10 years who’s only texted me twice in 2026 and when discussed she said she just prefers low maintenance friends and nothing is wrong.

I go to the same family parties annually and people who I know full and well are still introducing themselves to me.

I tried to make friends during grad school or at events or on apps in the city i’ve been living in and there’s never any progress. I meet people, who want to be known, but never want to do the knowing. I’ll spend hours asking them questions about themselves and they can’t even be bothered to ask a question as small as “what do you do for work?!” when I say I have work tomorrow.

I try to hang out with some of the friends I do have and they never ask me a single question about myself; the entire hang out is me listening. They’ll even say “omg I’m talking so much about myself, tell me about what’s going on with you” and then I’ll start talking and then all of a sudden “omg that reminds me of something!!!!” and my story is never brought back to, ever. Last week I hung out with a friend and multiple times I hit them with “omg yessss you were telling me!!!” “dude yesss omg you were saying last time” “omg yes I remember that!!!!!” because I’d heard the entire hour long story already and I’m just still being talked at. The purpose isn’t to be my friend. The purpose is to be seen by me. Something that has never been done to me in return.

Friends that reach out to me to send paragraphs of rants that I give detailed responses to that can’t do more than “!!” the message when I do the same.

Friends that tell me all about their childhood trauma but didn’t see the notification the one time I ever do.

I try to talk to my sister about my life and she can’t be bothered. she doesn’t care. she doesn’t ask. she doesn’t show up. I try to and I get nothing but “damn that’s crazy”.

I tried to talk about this with a trauma therapist and she told me I must not be trying bc there’s 8 billion people and it’s ridiculous for me to think I’m the only one who wants friends. Not even a therapist will listen to me. All I want is to be seen. Literally nobody cares.

Girls from grad school hung out yesterday and I was invited last minute by not the host and the hosts energy was so “please don’t come i didn’t even tell her to text you” even though I stupidly told her I feel lonely a few days earlier. Even when I name my pain, people just shrug and say it’s not their problem.

I’m alone. I’m so lonely. and nobody cares. Even when I speak up. Even when I tell people. I am all alone.

I (25F) think loneliness may be the lesson I was assigned to learn this lifetime.

I’m starting to become convinced in probability some self-victimizing way, but I’m so tired. I can’t make or keep friends no matter how hard I try. I’m starting to give up. The friends I “keep” are just the people I allow to use me for the sake of saying I have friends.

I had a best friend of 10 years who’s only texted me twice in 2026 and when discussed she said she just prefers low maintenance friends and nothing is wrong.

I go to the same family parties annually and people who I know full and well are still introducing themselves to me.

I tried to make friends during grad school or at events or on apps in the city i’ve been living in and there’s never any progress. I meet people, who want to be known, but never want to do the knowing. I’ll spend hours asking them questions about themselves and they can’t even be bothered to ask a question as small as “what do you do for work?!” when I say I have work tomorrow.

I try to hang out with some of the friends I do have and they never ask me a single question about myself; the entire hang out is me listening. They’ll even say “omg I’m talking so much about myself, tell me about what’s going on with you” and then I’ll start talking and then all of a sudden “omg that reminds me of something!!!!” and my story is never brought back to, ever. Last week I hung out with a friend and multiple times I hit them with “omg yessss you were telling me!!!” “dude yesss omg you were saying last time” “omg yes I remember that!!!!!” because I’d heard the entire hour long story already and I’m just still being talked at. The purpose isn’t to be my friend. The purpose is to be seen by me. Something that has never been done to me in return.

Friends that reach out to me to send paragraphs of rants that I give detailed responses to that can’t do more than “!!” the message when I do the same.

Friends that tell me all about their childhood trauma but didn’t see the notification the one time I ever do.

I try to talk to my sister about my life and she can’t be bothered. she doesn’t care. she doesn’t ask. she doesn’t show up. I try to and I get nothing but “damn that’s crazy”.

I tried to talk about this with a trauma therapist and she told me I must not be trying bc there’s 8 billion people and it’s ridiculous for me to think I’m the only one who wants friends. Not even a therapist will listen to me. All I want is to be seen. Literally nobody cares.

Girls from grad school hung out yesterday and I was invited last minute by not the host and the hosts energy was so “please don’t come i didn’t even tell her to text you” even though I stupidly told her I feel lonely a few days earlier. Even when I name my pain, people just shrug and say it’s not their problem.

I’m alone. I’m so lonely. and nobody cares. Even when I speak up. Even when I tell people. I am all alone.

I (25F) think loneliness may be the lesson I was assigned to learn this lifetime.

I’m starting to become convinced in probability some self-victimizing way, but I’m so tired. I can’t make or keep friends no matter how hard I try. I’m starting to give up. The friends I “keep” are just the people I allow to use me for the sake of saying I have friends.

I had a best friend of 10 years who’s only texted me twice in 2026 and when discussed she said she just prefers low maintenance friends and nothing is wrong.

I go to the same family parties annually and people who I know full and well are still introducing themselves to me.

I tried to make friends during grad school or at events or on apps in the city i’ve been living in and there’s never any progress. I meet people, who want to be known, but never want to do the knowing. I’ll spend hours asking them questions about themselves and they can’t even be bothered to ask a question as small as “what do you do for work?!” when I say I have work tomorrow.

I try to hang out with some of the friends I do have and they never ask me a single question about myself; the entire hang out is me listening. They’ll even say “omg I’m talking so much about myself, tell me about what’s going on with you” and then I’ll start talking and then all of a sudden “omg that reminds me of something!!!!” and my story is never brought back to, ever. Last week I hung out with a friend and multiple times I hit them with “omg yessss you were telling me!!!” “dude yesss omg you were saying last time” “omg yes I remember that!!!!!” because I’d heard the entire hour long story already and I’m just still being talked at. The purpose isn’t to be my friend. The purpose is to be seen by me. Something that has never been done to me in return.

Friends that reach out to me to send paragraphs of rants that I give detailed responses to that can’t do more than “!!” the message when I do the same.

Friends that tell me all about their childhood trauma but didn’t see the notification the one time I ever do.

I try to talk to my sister about my life and she can’t be bothered. she doesn’t care. she doesn’t ask. she doesn’t show up. I try to and I get nothing but “damn that’s crazy”.

I tried to talk about this with a trauma therapist and she told me I must not be trying bc there’s 8 billion people and it’s ridiculous for me to think I’m the only one who wants friends. Not even a therapist will listen to me. All I want is to be seen. Literally nobody cares.

Girls from grad school hung out yesterday and I was invited last minute by not the host and the hosts energy was so “please don’t come i didn’t even tell her to text you” even though I stupidly told her I feel lonely a few days earlier. Even when I name my pain, people just shrug and say it’s not their problem.

I’m alone. I’m so lonely. and nobody cares. Even when I speak up. Even when I tell people. I am all alone.