u/SuperElderberry1726

I’m 25f he’s 31m

Yeah so very long painful story short I was in a relationship with the man I thought was made for me.

I was happy with him and did not see us ending. He claims he felt the same, in the beginning on the relationship he was not completely over his ex he felt she was the one that got away, he then later assured me up and down she was not and that his feelings changed. We then became official and had a lovely relationship. He said to friends and to myself he felt I was the one too.

In the beginning of April he said he wasn't going anywhere was here for the long term etc etc (2 yrs in atp) and then toward the end of April he had a doubt about if he can see a future w me and him and this same ex began to text as she reached out to him after her own break up. He was texting her, admitted to having the feelings of her being the one that got away return and still dating me fully as if nothing was changing behind the scenes.

All of this came out after he gave me the worst blindside i could imagine just absolutely traumatic break up saying we would get back together and that he needs to focus on therapy and being an avoidant attachment style and all this bullshit. Later it comes out that while that was minimally true it was largely just that he feels he needed to explore things with his ex.

I feel absolutely emotionally cheated on. Disrespected and besides myself.

She was such an insecurity and he reassured me so many times in the beginning and I just. Omg. I have never wanted to be right less but there it is and I was right and I cannot sleep because when I close my eyes I just see them. I see her. I see this life of his that doesn't even seem like totally the same person he was with me. Idk if this is cheating but it feels like it. How the heck do I sleep and calm down?

Yeah so very long painful story short I was in a relationship with the man I thought was made for me.

I was happy with him and did not see us ending. He claims he felt the same, in the beginning on the relationship he was not completely over his ex he felt she was the one that got away, he then later assured me up and down she was not and that his feelings changed. We then became official and had a lovely relationship. He said to friends and to myself he felt I was the one too.

In the beginning of April he said he wasn't going anywhere was here for the long term etc etc (2 yrs in atp) and then toward the end of April he had a doubt about if he can see a future w me and him and this same ex began to text as she reached out to him after her own break up. He was texting her, admitted to having the feelings of her being the one that got away return and still dating me fully as if nothing was changing behind the scenes.

All of this came out after he gave me the worst blindside i could imagine just absolutely traumatic break up saying we would get back together and that he needs to focus on therapy and being an avoidant attachment style and all this bullshit. Later it comes out that while that was minimally true it was largely just that he feels he needed to explore things with his ex.

I feel absolutely emotionally cheated on. Disrespected and besides myself.

She was such an insecurity and he reassured me so many times in the beginning and I just. Omg. I have never wanted to be right less but there it is and I was right and I cannot sleep because when I close my eyes I just see them. I see her. I see this life of his that doesn't even seem like totally the same person he was with me. Idk if this is cheating but it feels like it. How the heck do I sleep and calm down? It hurts so much. I found out yesterday btw.

Well. I posted a couple days ago on here and there’s quite an update. As it turns out my ex has cheated on every single relationship but his first which turned him avoidant. He has essentially repeated his trauma to every girl he’s been with since. He cheated on his ex with me and I’m pretty sure triple timed with his other ex whom I was insecure about. He assured me constantly that he would not get back w her etc etc and guess where he spent last weekend. In Vegas w her. Meanwhile I’m beating myself up lmao no longer. He’s a trash human, I’m sure try three will go equally as shit for them and wouldn’t be surprised if he came back to me while still with her. Ashamed I thought he was the one for me and was so vulnerable with him. I hope he gets hit by a bus. Btw. He cheated on her in her own apartment so they certainly deserve each other.

It’s been two months. I’m starting to doubt if I will survive this break up.

I don’t feel I can go into the details but the story doesn’t totally align with most on here. He is FA though and neither of us thought we would be breaking up if you asked us a week beforehand. Idk how to get better. I’m taking my space, I’m hanging out with people when I can I’m in therapy I have started an old new hobby. It all makes it worse. I want my life back, I wasn’t ready.

Long story short my two year relationship with just such a safe man whom I love ended. He left me and it was not expected but that's a whole other story. Anyway I have pretty gnarly pmdd since I’d say college ish but it had gotten worse late 2024 and through 2025 due to unemployment and then a really toxic job. I primarily get period flu and passive si/severe depression and crying spells, it feels like the deepest sadness in the world. My ex was a safe space and someone who could hug me through it and make me feel like something isn’t wrong with me. And now he is gone and it's been a month and a half this is my second luteal phase without him and it's horrendous. I'm considering going to the hospital so they can sedate me or something.
If anyone has been through a bad break up and has pmdd what did you do because I am not ok. I can barely breathe from crying and can barely blow my nose because of the body aches. I don’t feel I can cope