u/Superb_Ambassador_16

Hi, I just wanted to get this off my chest and maybe ask for the internet’s opinion on my situation.
I’m a 20yo(F), and I’ve always had abusive parents, especially my mother. I come from a large family, and she’s always been extremely authoritarian, strict, narcissistic, and controlling. My father is the very passive type (he supports us, but only in secret to “avoid making her scream”).

I just finished two long years of classes préparatoires (**roughly the French equivalent of college, although it’s a rather unique system).** Honestly, I felt better there than I ever did at home.

During my teenage years, I already attempted suicide, but it didn’t work. It was mainly because of my parents’ behavior, but especially because of my incredibly toxic sister (verbal and physical aggression, constantly judging my personality, my choices, my appearance, while also being racist and extremely jealous, much like my mother). She’s always defended because “she was bullied at school.” For context, all of my siblings experienced bullying—we just don’t get to use it as a lifelong excuse. She’s now an unemployed adult who offered to contribute part of the rent while refusing to do any household chores.

Since I was around 8 to 10 years old, I was responsible for taking care of the household alongside my sisters (cooking, cleaning, taking care of the pets, walking my younger sisters to school, etc.), even though my mother has always been a stay-at-home mom. The past few years have been especially difficult because I had to manage both my studies and the house at the same time, as if I were responsible for the entire family.

I’m not close to my parents. My mother knows almost nothing about me—nothing about my relationships (except that I’m now in one), my choices, or my future plans. She has never made the effort to take an interest in any of it.
Despite that, she’s always wanted complete control over my life. I wasn’t allowed to go out, not even to see friends outside of school or simply go shopping, until I turned 18. I wasn’t allowed to have a boyfriend either. Even now, at 20, I’m still not allowed to go to the hairdresser because, according to her, “your long hair is mine, it’s beautiful, so I don’t want you to cut it.” She also refused to let me study in Paris, so I had to settle for my backup plan and attend a preparatory school in another city. These are just a few examples, but they show how extreme her mindset is.

She also does things that I personally consider to be s3xual harassment or s3xual abuse. She slaps my butt (which might sound ridiculous, but I absolutely hate it) and comments on it, knowing full well how uncomfortable it makes me. She’s also tried to touch my breasts and asks invasive questions about my body, like whether or not I shave my pubic hair.

Sometimes the abuse becomes physical. She’s extremely hot-tempered and will hit us if she feels we’ve “disrespected” her, especially my sister, who has a much stronger temper than I do.
Most of the abuse, however, is verbal: insults, yelling, degrading comments, and the way she talks to us. I genuinely feel like she sees us as servants under her “authority.” For example, one time my sister was forced to clean up her own menstrual blood because my mother refused to do it. Another time, my mother dropped sauce on the floor after making herself a sandwich and literally ordered us, “Clean it up, little doggies.”
My mother is also an extremely jealous person who is obsessed with appearances. She has a lot of wrinkles, mainly because she’s been a heavy smoker for years. Whenever one of us dresses up or tries to look nice, she’ll always find something to criticize in order to put us down and make us feel bad. The same thing happens whenever we spend time with friends or our boyfriend—she gets jealous and takes it out on both us and our father.

She’s also financially irresponsible. She receives government benefits for my younger underage sisters and spends all of the money in a single day on impulsive purchases for herself. She’s gotten us into debt—we recently received an email saying our rent has gone unpaid since 2025. She doesn’t even take care of essential expenses anymore. We hadn’t seen a doctor in about ten years. Christmas presents were simply ignored. She doesn’t care about basic necessities like clothes or hygiene products. She constantly asks my father for money.

Her average day looks like this: wake up at 6 a.m. → pretend to do something until my father leaves for work → go back to sleep until 3 p.m. → wake up when he comes home → complain about us to him → pretend to be busy again → go back to bed around 8 p.m. That’s literally her routine.

Lately, my suicidal thoughts have been coming back because it’s summer and the school year is over, which means I’m stuck at home all day. She constantly pressures us by saying we do nothing around the house. On top of that, I was recently diagnosed with an autoimmune disease
(Hashimoto’s disease). I haven’t started treatment yet because my antibody levels don’t currently meet the criteria, but my thyroid is still gradually failing, and I’m already experiencing symptoms, especially constant fatigue. No matter how many times I explain it, she just calls me lazy.
Even though I’m emotionally detached from my mother at this point, living with her every day still takes a huge toll on me because I have no choice but to endure it.

I just needed to vent and talk about what she’s like because her behavior is honestly difficult to describe. I already know that once I’m financially independent, I’ll cut all contact with her permanently because of everything she’s done—and because of many other things that are simply too long to explain in a single Reddit post.
Thank you if you’ve read this far. If you have any questions or thoughts, I’d really appreciate hearing them.

Hi, I just wanted to get this off my chest and maybe ask for the internet’s opinion on my situation.
I’m a 20yo(F), and I’ve always had abusive parents, especially my mother. I come from a large family, and she’s always been extremely authoritarian, strict, narcissistic, and controlling. My father is the very passive type (he supports us, but only in secret to “avoid making her scream”).

I just finished two long years of classes préparatoires (roughly the French equivalent of college, although it’s a rather unique system). Honestly, I felt better there than I ever did at home.

During my teenage years, I already attempted suicide, but it didn’t work. It was mainly because of my parents’ behavior, but especially because of my incredibly toxic sister (verbal and physical aggression, constantly judging my personality, my choices, my appearance, while also being racist and extremely jealous, much like my mother). She’s always defended because “she was bullied at school.” For context, all of my siblings experienced bullying—we just don’t get to use it as a lifelong excuse. She’s now an unemployed adult who offered to contribute part of the rent while refusing to do any household chores.

Since I was around 8 to 10 years old, I was responsible for taking care of the household alongside my sisters (cooking, cleaning, taking care of the pets, walking my younger sisters to school, etc.), even though my mother has always been a stay-at-home mom. The past few years have been especially difficult because I had to manage both my studies and the house at the same time, as if I were responsible for the entire family.

I’m not close to my parents. My mother knows almost nothing about me—nothing about my relationships (except that I’m now in one), my choices, or my future plans. She has never made the effort to take an interest in any of it.
Despite that, she’s always wanted complete control over my life. I wasn’t allowed to go out, not even to see friends outside of school or simply go shopping, until I turned 18. I wasn’t allowed to have a boyfriend either. Even now, at 20, I’m still not allowed to go to the hairdresser because, according to her, “your long hair is mine, it’s beautiful, so I don’t want you to cut it.” She also refused to let me study in Paris, so I had to settle for my backup plan and attend a preparatory school in another city. These are just a few examples, but they show how extreme her mindset is.

She also does things that I personally consider to be s3xual harassment or s3xual abuse. She slaps my butt (which might sound ridiculous, but I absolutely hate it) and comments on it, knowing full well how uncomfortable it makes me. She’s also tried to touch my breasts and asks invasive questions about my body, like whether or not I shave my pubic hair.

Sometimes the abuse becomes physical. She’s extremely hot-tempered and will hit us if she feels we’ve “disrespected” her, especially my sister, who has a much stronger temper than I do.
Most of the abuse, however, is verbal: insults, yelling, degrading comments, and the way she talks to us. I genuinely feel like she sees us as servants under her “authority.” For example, one time my sister was forced to clean up her own menstrual blood because my mother refused to do it. Another time, my mother dropped sauce on the floor after making herself a sandwich and literally ordered us, “Clean it up, little doggies.”
My mother is also an extremely jealous person who is obsessed with appearances. She has a lot of wrinkles, mainly because she’s been a heavy smoker for years. Whenever one of us dresses up or tries to look nice, she’ll always find something to criticize in order to put us down and make us feel bad. The same thing happens whenever we spend time with friends or our boyfriend—she gets jealous and takes it out on both us and our father.

She’s also financially irresponsible. She receives government benefits for my younger underage sisters and spends all of the money in a single day on impulsive purchases for herself. She’s gotten us into debt—we recently received an email saying our rent has gone unpaid since 2025. She doesn’t even take care of essential expenses anymore. We hadn’t seen a doctor in about ten years. Christmas presents were simply ignored. She doesn’t care about basic necessities like clothes or hygiene products. She constantly asks my father for money.

Her average day looks like this: wake up at 6 a.m. → pretend to do something until my father leaves for work → go back to sleep until 3 p.m. → wake up when he comes home → complain about us to him → pretend to be busy again → go back to bed around 8 p.m. That’s literally her routine.

Lately, my suicidal thoughts have been coming back because it’s summer and the school year is over, which means I’m stuck at home all day. She constantly pressures us by saying we do nothing around the house. On top of that, I was recently diagnosed with an autoimmune disease
(Hashimoto’s disease). I haven’t started treatment yet because my antibody levels don’t currently meet the criteria, but my thyroid is still gradually failing, and I’m already experiencing symptoms, especially constant fatigue. No matter how many times I explain it, she just calls me lazy.
Even though I’m emotionally detached from my mother at this point, living with her every day still takes a huge toll on me because I have no choice but to endure it.

I just needed to vent and talk about what she’s like because her behavior is honestly difficult to describe. I already know that once I’m financially independent, I’ll cut all contact with her permanently because of everything she’s done—and because of many other things that are simply too long to explain in a single Reddit post.
Thank you if you’ve read this far. If you have any questions or thoughts, I’d really appreciate hearing them.

Salut, je voulais juste me vider la tête et sans doute demander l’opinion du net sur ma situation.

J’ai 20 ans(F) et j’ai toujours eu des parents abusifs mais surtout ma mère. Je viens d’une famille nombreuse et elle a toujours été très autoritaire, stricte, narcissique etc. Mon père est du genre très passif (à nous soutenir mais en secret pour « éviter qu’elle gueule »)

Je sors tout juste de deux longues années de prépa. Et je me trouvais mieux la bas que chez moi lol. Durant mon adolescence j’ai déjà essayé de me S mais en vain. Principalement du fait de leur comportement mais surtout de celui de ma sœur ultra toxique (agression verbale et physique, qui juge toute ma personnalité, mes choix, mon physique, qui est bien sûr raciste et très jalouse un peu comme ma mère) et qui plus est toujours défendue « car elle a vécue de l’harcèlement scolaire » (je précise que nous en avons tous vécu dans ma fraterie, c’est juste que c’est une carte joker, un laisser passé pour elle) au point où aujourd’hui elle est adulte au chômage et s’est proposé de payer une part du loyer pour ne réaliser aucune tache ménagère.

Depuis mes 8-10 ans je m’occupais du foyer avec mes sœurs (repas, ménages, gestion des animaux, emmener mes sœurs à l’école, etc) tandis que ma mère a toujours été femme au foyer. Ces dernières années ont été assez compliqué car je devais gérer les cours et la maison en même temps comme si que j’étais responsable du foyer entier.
Je ne suis pas proche de mes parents : ma mère n’est au courant de rien, ni de mes relations (sauf amoureuse récemment), de mes choix, de mes projets, et elle ne se donne pas la peine de s’y pencher.
Pourtant elle a toujours voulu contrôler ma vie : interdiction de sortir (même voir des amis en dehors des cours, ou bien vouloir m’acheter qqe chose) jusqu’à mes 18 ans, pas le droit d’avoir de mec. Je n’ai pas le droit d’aller chez le coiffeur parce que « mes cheveux longs c’est les siens, c’est beau donc elle est contre » malgré le fait que j’ai 20 ans. Elle ne voulait pas que je fasse mes études sur Paris, j’ai dû donc opter pour le plan B (une prépa de province). Ce ne sont que des exemples mais ça me permet de marquer la gravité de sa mentalité.

Elle réalise aussi des agressions que j’estime S3xuelles, c’est à dire me claquer les fesses (c’est ridicule je sais) et me les complimenter sachant que je déteste qu’on me fasse ça, mais aussi vouloir toucher mes s3ins ????? Et me poser des questions assez intimes (comme le fait de dmd si je suis rasée ou non)
Les agressions peuvent en venir aux mains, elle est très colérique et elle peut facilement frapper si elle estime qu’on lui manque de respect (surtout sur ma soeur qui a plus un caractère chaud que le mien)
Cependant ça reste principalement verbal : les insultes, le ton, les tournures de phrase. J’ai l’impression qu’elle nous voit comme des petits commis sous sa « responsabilité ». Deux exemples concrets, ma sœur était forcée de ramasser ses r3gles parce que ça coulait et qu’elle ne voulait pas ramasser. Autre exemple, ma mère s’était fait un sandwich et avait fait tomber de la sauce au sol, elle ordonna « ramassez chien-chien » lol.

Ma mère est une personne très très jalouse et soucieuse de son apparence. Elle est très ridée principalement à cause de sa consommation de tabac. Dès que nous allons nous faire jolie elle va toujours trouver un moyen, une remarque pour nous rabaisser et nous déstabiliser. Pareil lorsque nous sortons avec des amis ou notre copain, elle va être jalouse et s’en prendre après nous et notre père.
Elle est également un parasite financier, elle touche les allocations de mes dernières sœurs mineures. Elle dépense tout en un jour, dans des achats compulsifs personnels. Elle nous endette (comme nous venons de recevoir un courriel, apparemment il y a des loyers impayés depuis 2025). Elle ne s’occupe même plus des achats importants : nous n’avions pas vu de médecins depuis 10 ans, les achats de noël complètement ignorés, nos besoins premiers (vêtements, hygiène etc) elle s’en fiche. Elle réclame constamment de l’argent à mon père. Ses journées basiques sont : réveil à 6h > faire semblant de faire qqe chose devant mon père le temps qu’il parte au travail > Allez dormir jusqu’à 15h et se réveiller quand il rentre > se plaindre de nous auprès de lui > refaire semblant > se recoucher à 20h, wow.

Récemment les idées noires me reviennent car c’est l’été et l’année scolaire est terminée, je suis contrainte de rester en permanence chez moi. Elle met des coups de pression comme quoi nous faisons rien chez nous etc etc. De plus, on a récemment découvert que je développe une maladie auto-immune (maladie d’Hashimoto) mais que je n’ai pas encore de traitement par un manque d’anticorps. Cependant ma thyroïde s’épuise tout de meme et j’en ressens les symptôme dont la fatigue quotidienne. Peu importe si je l’explique, je suis juste vue comme une feignante.
Même si d’un point de vue relationnel je suis totalement détachée de ma mère, ça me pèse quand même au quotidien car je suis forcée de vivre avec cela.

J’ai juste besoin d’extérioriser et de parler de son cas assez spécial. Je sais que plus tard je couperais définitivement contact avec elle du fait de son comportement et d’autres histoires qui sont trop longues à raconter dans un post Reddit.
Merci d’avoir lu tout ça, et si vous avez des questions ou des opinions je suis preneuse.

Salut ! L’année prochaine je pense rentrer en l3 Lettres-Histoire à Paris cité après avoir une réponse favorable sur Ecandidat.

J’ai déjà fait deux ans en prépa et disons que la fac ça me stresse un peu puisque je ne connais pas du tout l’environnement.

Si je me dirige bien vers Paris Cité j’aurais à peu près 1h20-30 de transport. Je me demandais si l’exigence d’une double licence reste autant considérable qu’une prépa (emploi du temps, partiels, oraux).
Pour les élèves de Paris cité, est ce qu’il y a des session rattrapages pour les partiels ? Je crois que certaines fac ne font pas ce système. Ou bien il y a pas de compensation/remplacement selon les notes.

Pour les étudiants en Lettres/histoire : trouvez vous facile de dénicher des stages ? J’aimerais en faire un avec mon projet pro pour peut-être agrandir mes chances sur Mon Master.
Est ce que vous vous plaisez réellement dans vos études, qu’est ce que vous regrettez ?

J’ai l’impression d’avoir tout juste fini ma terminale et de me retrouver dans l’inconnu.

Tous les conseils sont bons à prendre !

Mardi matin je fais castrer mon petit chat. C’est la première fois que j’emmène mes animaux se faire castrer. Je me demandais juste :
Je n’ai pas encore de caisse de transport et je ne pense pas en avoir à temps.

J’ai imaginé la possibilité d’un carton (avec serviette et ses jouets et des trous assez grands pour qu’il puisse respirer bien sûr…!)

Cependant je me sais pas si c’est vraiment adapté et apprécié par les vétérinaires..

Si vous pouviez me répondre, merci à vous !

Bonjour,

J’ai passé le concours de l’ENS Lyon filliere Lettres/Sciences Humaines, les résultats d’admissibilité ont été posté mais je me demandais si les relevés de notes sont accessibles.

L’une de nos professeurs affirme qu’ils sont disponibles mais quand on tente d’y accéder (et de se connecter) sur banques-écoles, c’est impossible.
C’est surtout pour savoir s’ils ont vraiment été publié et qu’il y a un pb techniques ou bien il faut encore attendre

Bonjour,

Après deux ans en prépa A/L (spé histoire-géographie) j’ai postulé sur le Ecandidat de plusieurs facs notamment la double licence histoire-lettres en 3e année ET 2e année et la L3 histoire.

Je voulais juste des retours sur la fac (établissement en lui même, les cours, les profs et voire des avis de ceux qui ont pu faire ce cursus)

Je sais pas trop pour la sélectivité, j’ai quand même fourni des lettres de recommandation pour la double licence.

Ma pote et moi espèrent pouvoir aller dans cette fac parce qu’on serait assez triste de perdre les lettres.

I was in Paris and then since it happened I feel like shit. This was my first concert ever. I’m just missing it as if I could replay the moment all my life. Everything was incredible : music, lights, people.
I will go back again as soon as he’s going to tour in Europe once again. BUT WHEN

Hi, this is my First concert ever and I wanted to know how is the pit usually. Should I be worried or it is completely chill ? I don’t know what to expect.