u/Suspicious-Rock-448

I recently had the scariest experience of my life health wise and it occurred after a weekend full of eating all my favorite bs.

Let’s start on Saturday, I had ropa vieja, rice, 2 glasses of sangria and natilla. Everything here is ok except the natilla and sangria. Bout 3 cans of soda thru out day.

Sunday- chicken tikka masala. Overly spicey but was so good I couldn’t stop eating it. Took me like an hour of slow eating but I couldn’t stop.
Monday- wingstop with plenty honey mustard, soda. Cereal, two over fucking sized glasses of milk. And ofc my usual 3 cans of soda.

Bam. I knew the milk had a 50/50 chance of doing me dirty. But I’d had a lot of extra bs in me and was constipated for days. Ive also been downing 3ish sometimes more cans of Coke a day that entire year and a half. Woke up next day extreme stomach pain bleeding out my butt at the end of hour long diarrhea probabky the most I’d ever seen in my whole life. (doctors say im ok). Obvioisly all is well now and I’ve known for nearly a year and a half that I was ingesting horrible things and just blame it on depression or anxiety idk.

My problem is I should be petrified to experience that again. But the moment I feel healthy and normal again I am like OH YEAH WINGSTOP !!! Loke I get I don’t need to get rid of these things permanently byt im really annoyed with what I’ve been eating since.

they’re simple meals “gut friendly” basically the entire opposite of the things I crave and love. While my body feels good and I have no worry of extreme malabsorption or other scary shit when I eat what I should be eating, I feel so unhappy. I want just a fucking wingstop tender or a pizza. But the fear seems to be working as I just have vivid flashbacks as I fill my DoorDash cart with these cravings and instantly back out. I don’t fear I’ll revert. I fear I’ll never be happy. I don’t want to push my limit with a “have that yummy thing once a week” bc I feel that im probably facing a fucking overeating addiction and would slip right back into eating rhat shit nearly every other day. I associated these happy foods with so much comfort. When I was anxious and panicking or feeling bad I’d grab my food watch my shows and relax in my room. I am nearing my 30s now and should really accept i cant eat how I did up to like around 25 when milk started fucking me up. Mind you, I used to live off of turkey sandwiches and chocolate milk so letting that all go entirely was hard enough.

Got to a point I could just go months without rhe milk snd just drink it randomly on a really random craving. But I ofc overindulge once I get a little taste of the shit I love. Candy. Cake. Donuts. Greasy fried foods. Crispy chicken sandwiches.
I ate measly fucking chicken and sweet potatoes with carrots and spinach today. I hate it here. Im full. Im not craving anything. It’s doing its job and my stomach feels so comfortable. Which is really fucking depressing me. I think as I write this my urge to go grab a soda is slowly going away. Maybe I should just journal and rant everytime I want things.

Without ranting and trying to plead my case/defend myself, my man keeps calling me a child (not in a cute playful manor, in a very aggressive mean condescending way) for very minor things like choosing to get a soda in the morning and eat wingstop on a Wednesday afternoon. Ok sometimes I have cravings. But being called a child for such random shit ? It’s getting to me and really infuriating and while he’s not respectful during arguments, I try to keep my character in tact. Lately I just can’t do it anymore. You think im a dirty whore ? Ok then I am and ur a fat greasy bitch now what.

Like this shit is soooo doomed. But the worst part is that it’s looking like my breaking point seems to be him calling me a child, not the much worse things that go on between us. Coming from the man who lives with his mom, bullies and intimidates her then expects a warm big feast of a meal every night from that same woman. A man who doesn’t know how to clean a bathroom or do laundry. A man who has been babied to his 30s. A man who puts his hands women and thinks it’s all good if he doesn’t leave marks. A man who’s never even stepped foot in a god damn grocery store to feed himself !

Girl wtf am I doing. Like why am I still hanging on. Im constantly pleading my case and arguing back defending myself to someone who genuinely believes hes “always right” and how people “should have listened to him”. People would listen to u more if u were respectful or treated them nicely but ur not either of those things… u use threats and intimidation 95% of each day with 5% passivity then force people into still doing what u want how u want it and feel ur in the right to go off on them when it’s not how u want it.

This is frustrating being called a child by a man who act, walks talks and acts the way he does… 4 years. 6 years for me as I spent 2 of them chasing him while he made me believe I was genuinely a villain.

Im not the boyfriend BUT dude we’ve done this every month for like 6 years ur genuinely getting on my nerves. Happens the exact same week every single month why are we acting surprised and confused ?

I get horrible pms the older I get but as long as I’ve been with him Ive had the same sort of symptoms consistently. About 2-3 days leading up to my period it never fails: I sleep like crazy yes I slept 12 hours and I am still tired and am going to take another 6 hour nap ! YES, I have a headache and YES I FEEL NAUSEOUS yes my body is hot and im sweating just sitting still yes my boobs fucking hurt every single time yes I am crying. stop asking me “why do you think” I KNOW WHY BUT WHY DO YOU NOT ?

Im tired of saying every single time “period” like I don’t expect him to keep it written in his calendar but can you at least switch it up and say “ur prob getting ur period” or like idk bro. Yes this is probably a pms induced rage which funny enough thats the only part he recognizes: when I start randomly losing my shit things like completely redoing my bedroom at 3 am or picking several fights with him - im not a fighter he can recognize the rage and chaotic behavior but everything else hes just a stupid guy.

Like I don’t even want to complain when I feel off but sometimes it’s too much for me and my emotion takes over and bro just buy me a chocolate or a coke and stop acting stupid. Just once. $3 and we can be happy. No my period never used to take over my life the way it has for the past 6-8 years. Im trying. I want to be able to just live and go about as usual as I did when I was younger but it’s really fucking hard and I realize how annoying it is but when I become aware of it I try my best to just fucking sit alone and not talk to anyone bc I just need to isolate til im comfortable and feeling like me again (yes im aware this is probably “visit a doctor” territory but im broke for now so thats that).

This isn’t the first time Ive had this happen and I myself have also had this reaction before. Tell someone “relax” but not in a way to insinuate they are trippin or overreacting. More so like a filler word in this context like “no worries/dont worry”. You and The person know they aren’t ACTUALLY worrying but it’s more like a “dont even sweat it” kind of way. Like basically Ive never said this word in a LITERAL sense.

It triggers the response sometimes being “I am relaxed dont tell me to relax” well whoa hey now u actually need to RELAX.

Ive definitely had a negative response to someone doing it to me a few times too so I sort of understand the reaction but why the f is it so triggering sometimes when it should just be a soothing word like letting u know ur not alone someone has ur back or like that there’s just no need to worry and trying to put someone’s mind at ease. But 99% of the time is just a filler word.

Ive found “chill” gets an even worse reaction but chill does seem more like “calm your tits”. Also while we’re on the subject “calm down” too has sometimes prompted a negative response. I guess when people are angry or upset anyways, saying any of these words has the opposite effect of what it’s supposed to do which is to remind people that they just need to take a breath for a sec to not overwhelm themselves in certain instances.

Feels like hearing they’re instead hearing “shut up crazy !”

28f. Been dying my hair since I was 14. Dark light all colors of tbe rainbow. Around 25 I started sticking to only black and brown.

Around 22 I started dating my man and he met me when I had lavender collarbone length hair. I never cared if my hair was short or long and I still don’t. Usually around boob length I start feeling ugly and cut it back to my shoulders/collarbone.

Thete was only like one-2 solid years where I didn’t do anything to my hair bc I just had no urge at all so my hair got pretty long about mid spine length. He never said anything besides the one “whoa your hair has gotten so long” when I’d ironed it. He constantly tells me he wants me to grow out my natural color and wants to see my hair long. This has never sat right with me honestly. He would get really irritated and become super annoying when I’d dye my hair even though he never noticed it himself he only commented if I’d said “I dyed my hair”.

Fast forward at the start of the year i stripped out the black and went like level 6ish brown. It was cute but after a week I felt really ugly with it. He said he loved it, surprisingly not the reaction I thought I’d get given his past negative reactions to me dying my hair. It made me uncomfortable bc now im thinking ok so he loves light brunettes and I have never once been light brunette in our entirety of being together. Great.

Now, I cut my hair after growing again for about a year it gets decently long jn a year from shoulder to like just below boob length. I cut it and am dying it black again and I mentioned it and he went off on me. So I told him he never even notices when I do it so I should have just done it and not said anything. He then says “I noticed ur shit never grows”. Well yes bc I willingly cut it everytime it starts getting long bc I genuinely love having short wavy hair it’s just so y2k baddie in my eyes.

Had to prove him wrong and send him a pic from literally like last year when I’d let it grown out for the year and he has no words other than calling me a liar.

Honestly this is so stupid and it’s my hair and I’ll do what I want. I did say I’d just let it grow natural but 1) idc at all about being natural colored 2) I am at the age where I now have a few Canas that appear nearly weekly and they are wiry so forgive me for wanting to keep up my appearance the way I like. Maybe when I’m 50 the canas will look more natural and I’ll accept it but for now im still young and my whole head is dark so why not maintain it…

It’s bothering me. I don’t want to be with him but this is such a stupid argument. Like I don’t like his hair AT ALL. It’s ugly. And filled with canas. The canas aren’t the part that makes his hair ugly tho. He refuses to let me pay for a barber to cut his hair so he has me do it and im not a pro. He grows it long out of his sheer laziness and then does not take care of it. He has his tape broken af and basically what im saying is i dont like the choice he makes for his hair byt i also dont berate him or telk him not to do it. Do what u want it’s ur fkn hair who cares if I like it i didnt date u cause of ur hair. U were cute when I met u and I still see u that way.

It’s just getting to me bc it’s giving “i like women with long natural hair” and Whe hes next to me I give “unnatural, short, thin bald headed bitch”. I don’t want it to hurt my self esteem byt hes implanted the idea of long hair in my head so now I feel so fucking bad when I have it short. I hate him. Now when I see his neighbors with long beautiful natural looking hair I feel insecure that hes lusting for them and would leave me for then if they gave him the time of day(they wouldn’t bc he has let himself go and doesn’t care anymore at his still very young age like im sorry but this IS my prime I love doing my hair how I want it and looking like I maintain myself). That was never a fucking problem before.