I don't know how to rightfully ask God for an specific providence

I have a historic of receiving B, when I want A, from God. Indeed, A seems awesome, but B fits just right in the longterm (and not in a possessive way, but redemning one by shaping my character).

Upon being invitated for a job interview today, though, I couldn't bring myself to ask God for me to land it. The proposal is awesome, but I doubt I shall get it so easily. I don't know if it lack of faith...

I don't even feel entitled to want specific things anymore. Is it ok?

I need some advise in this aspect.

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u/Suyin_8 — 14 days ago

I do want to see my offenders reaping what they sow, regardless of my forgiveness. Am I wrong?

Someone told me once that a Christian must not seek to see their offender punished for the injustice they perpetrated, but rather want them to repent without trials.

I have been quite a victim to persecution lately in my daily life. Lies about me, for example. Upon learning today someone false witnessed about me, I was taken by wrath (though I kept it to myself). I don't know how to face this kind of thing without desiring who do such a thing to me to face the consequences - even if in a trial that ultimately changes the person for the better.

I need this sense of justice.

Am I not being pious? How else to see justice if not like this? People wrong me and sometimes I am helpless, I can't seek justice by confrontating these people.

It seems wrong to me to see some even having great success in life.

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u/Suyin_8 — 1 month ago

Can talents and gifts be divinely ordained?

(23F, here)
I love to write since a tender age. It is part of who I am. For much time, I autosabotaged myself and denied my desire for being a writer.

Recently, I have been asking myself it is form of stewardship to use this skill of mine, specially if I write things that don't maim the Word, but even highlight it.

I just fear being useless to community.

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u/Suyin_8 — 2 months ago

Possível desemprego após se formar

Eu sou estagiária e estou entrando no meu último período da faculdade.

Simplesmente ando muito frustrada com a perspectiva de ficar desempregada caso não surja uma vaga de efetivação para mim. Eu quero trabalhar, gosto de ganhar o meu pão.

Tenho uma sensação de fracasso. Ao mesmo tempo, sei que esse é o destino de muitas pessoas: desemprego após colar grau.

Não é nem que eu não considere uma transição de carreira dentro da minha area. Só tenho medo de não conseguir nada. Tenho medo de não ter dinheiro para comprar um absorvente.

Tenho tido insonia, desânimo, tenho descontado na comida.

Alguma palavra para mim?

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u/Suyin_8 — 2 months ago

Feeling like Hoseah's wife

I have something in my way of living my faith I feel ashamed off. I don't even know if I am a true follower of Christ, but I want to and I would like to receive advise to stop with this mistake.

I truly want to follow the Word. I see the sense in it. But when life is awesome, I lack with my prayers and one shortcoming leads to another. Then, I pass through a trial and I am humbled and crushed, and I return to First Love.

I admire who is steady in faith. I want to be like this. As for enlightment, I am a Christian there are two years. Most of my life, I wasn't baptized by Holy Spirit.

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u/Suyin_8 — 2 months ago

How wrong am I + what do I do?

Someone wronged me in deep way. Legally a grave crime, cutting to the chase. I am +18, a woman - some of you can imagine what happened to me. This person walks free.

My mother has sumed up things from the cryptical things I say and how my humor hints at some psychological suffering.

She asked me directly if someone did something of this nature to me. I denied (lied). She insisted in me telling the truth and she is clever enough to know something is amiss. Even so, I lied.

If I told her the truth, she would suffer too much. Also, I don't know what she was capable of doing against this person - the size of her wrath.

I wished I could tell her the truth to not feel alone in my question and for our bond to be enlighted, but I know better than to risk the status quo of domestic peace.

What do I do? How spiritually wrong am I? Is my lie even excusable when we think about the Word?

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u/Suyin_8 — 2 months ago

Am I commiting the sinning of proud?

I suffer with mental health. As a mere intern, I can't afford sessions with a therapist.

I have a desire to be entirely independent in the finantial aspect. My bills are paid, but I can't afford this treatment.

My mother suggested she pays my sessions until I can pay it on my on or until I am healed - what comes first. But I don't want it to rely on her just for the sake of saying she pays nothing for me, that I cause no trouble.

All the while, given the finantial crisis of my country, it is common for children my age (young adult) to have some struggle with being finantially independent.

She says she fears something worst happening if I am let to my own devices. At the same time, I don't know if it was the Holy Spirit, I had also an epiphany - that seeking treatment is a way of saving my heart.

Am I being proud?

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u/Suyin_8 — 2 months ago

Nunca entendi o meu tipo de beleza

Sou uma mulher jovem adulta. Ao longo da vida, o conjunto dos meus traços físicos sempre levaram a opiniões bem divergentes. 50/50.

Quando mais jovem, e até um pouco hoje, minha beleza nunca apareceu ou aparece para homens da minha idade com os quais poderia me relacionar. No passado, já fui chamada de feia por muitos, alguns até fizeram bullying comigo por isso na escola, verdadeiramente me humilharam. Reconheço, no entanto, que alguns rapazes dizem me achar gata hoje em dia.

Na verdade, homens aleatórios (muito mais jovens, muito mais velhos, estranhos na rua...) são os que mais costumam elogiar a minha aparência - e nunca é com desejo, sempre é de uma forma platônica e mais respeitosa.

As mulheres sempre costumam dizer que eu sou bonita. Já recebi muita cantada de mulheres.

E não sou chamada de bonita por ambos os gêneros no sentido "bonitinha". Não, são elogios verdadeiros vindos de quem elogia.

Chego a pensar se a questão é que eu não tenho um pingo de sensualidade - minha beleza é mais angelical.

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u/Suyin_8 — 3 months ago

Como vencer a obesidade está salvando a minha vida

Olá! Eu gostaria de compartilhar um pouco da minha jornada pois acho interessante mostrar a qualquer leitor que se identifique uma luz no fim do túnel.

Sou uma mulher de 23 anos. Anos atrás, devido a minha saúde mental precária, atingi a obesidade grau 1 e quase fui para obesidade grau 2. Desenvolvi insuficiência venosa, gordura no fígado, infertilidade por ovários policisticos e pré-diabetes. Fora que eu tinha falta de ar ao andar um pouco e ao ficar sentada, e pouca energia para minhas atividades.

A gota d'água para cuidar da minha saúde foi quando, aos 20 anos, tive que investigar um caroço na mama. Ter ido a uma clínica de oncologia e ver tantas pessoas doentes com cancer me fez virar uma chave na cabeça. No final, não era um caroço maligno, era algo benigno que eu acompanho agora de dois em dois anos.

Pois bem, falei para mim mesma que não ia passar por problemas de saúde que eu posso evitar tão cedo na vida.

O começo do meu emagrecimento foi terrivel e cheio de erros e autosabotagens. Quis desistir muitas vezes. Tive reganho de peso muitas vezes devido a dietas restritivas.

Meu emagrecimento só deslanchou quando melhorei minha saúde mental e aprendi mais sobre os meus gatilhos para comer muito. Uma coisa que ajudou foi abolir certos alimentos como maionese, bolachas recheadas, embutidos e salgadinhos e refrigerante da minha casa - como muito raramente e na casa dos meus pais quando os visito. Alimentação saudável nao tem segredo, e eu não pago caro em alimentos fit e em whey protein - compro frutas e legumes da estação, carnes que estão na promoção, abuso dos laticinios para bater a proteína diária (menos iogurte que é caro, então faço o meu em casa), consumo muitos ovos... e evito ao máximo delivery para equilibrar as contas.

Outra coisa foi descobrir qual tipo de atividade fisica é boa para mim - amo caminhadas, odeio musculação, então dou atenção ao primeiro embora eu reconheça que o segundo seja necessário.

Aprendi a passar vontade e a pensar no longo prazo. O prazer de comer muito em um impulso não é maior que a dor de não ver progresso.

Sobre minha saúde? Minha imunidade melhorou, minha disposição melhorou, minha disciplina melhorou, nunca mais senti dores e nem cansaço extremo. A pré-diabetes é só um lembrança, e minha síndrome dos ovários policisticos foi controlada. Não sei como se encontra meu fígado pois não fiz mais ultrassons, mas a insuficiência venosa melhorou a ponto de eu não precisar mais usar meia de compressão.

Minha autoestima, minhas disciplina e resiliência, minha autocompaixão melhoraram - o ultimo pq as vezes como muito sim e não deixo isso me abalar, o que importa é constância e não a perfeição.

Não digo que estou imune a ter um retrocesso - a obesidade é uma doença crônica e vou ter que lidar com ela a minha vida toda. Mas vejo que é possivel sim fazer algo por si mesmo sem grandes segredos. O básico funciona. E saúde é o que permite que a gente viva e realize nossos sonhos.

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u/Suyin_8 — 3 months ago

Anxious in my prosperity (I fear God will take it away from me)

I have already passed through many trials. I have lacked companionship, money, health, etc. It all led me to be more dependent on God and led me to be more humble, kind, helpful, to be better in many things I used to fall short of.

But now, I have prosperity. I have a work that allowed me to be finantially independent. I fear being fired and been unable to have my daily bread - even as a trial by God for it wouldn't be the first. I pray everyday for the hability to work and keep myself on the market.

I am starting to get too antsy. What to do?

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u/Suyin_8 — 3 months ago

The Accuser spoke through a friend of mine today (?)

I have a friend who doesn't follow the Word. She has tried to convince me that casual sex is liberating for a young adult woman like myself, that I am autosabotaging myself, that I am young and I must live, that chastity is a human concept.

I merely said humbly that it doesn't go along with my values. I didn't offend her for engaging with it, never.

Today, me, her and other friends were talking about our types of partner. I told I wished to marry a Christian man. She laughed at my face and said I wasn't a true Christian for I have some visible failures as a person.

It made no sense to me. I know I am not the best Christian, but I do believe in Christ and I try to avoid sin and to repent daily. To be dependent on him. For me, it is a long path. I know I have some wisdom to get yet, but it sound so... ackward - her words.

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u/Suyin_8 — 3 months ago

My aunt cried out of happiness upon seeing my progress

My obesity came from mental health issues. I am a young adult woman. I managed to improve my mental health and one of my goals now is to reach a healthy weight.

I have lost 20 kg, and it changed me a lot physically. Upon seeing, my aunt cried out of happiness for she once saw me with an unhealthy weight, depressive. It is more than looks, and my relatives know this.

Such a serene moment. One of the wins of such a journey.

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u/Suyin_8 — 3 months ago

I miss having more Christian friends (+ my non-Christians friendships)

I have just realized I have positioned myself in a non-productive spot of friendships's field.

I have few Christian friendships. Most of my friends aren't Christians. Even if I love my friends and I respect their ways of living, I noticed I am not quite respected.

It is more like confessing a mistake. I lacked intention in this topic, I confess.

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u/Suyin_8 — 3 months ago

Possessive "love"

23F here

I noticed I am a rather possessive person in my relationships. To the point of being nasty to people out insecurity, out of fear of being left aside. I want to wash my mouth with soap every single time when I come to my senses.

I am possessive over my parents, my close relatives, my friends...

How to deal with it in Christ?

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u/Suyin_8 — 3 months ago

Everyday I discover something awful about me

This process of repenting sins is tough, especially for me who fumbled a lot until 21 and then converted.

It seems like an infected injury with a conceiled abcess - you are always draining and discovering to which extent it is wicked.

How is this process to you? Let's talk and encourage each other.

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u/Suyin_8 — 4 months ago

Traída pela amiga que eu considerava uma irmã

23M aqui.

Por ser filha única, sempre considerei uma certa prima muito amiga. Como uma irmã. Bom, ela me chamava de irmã também.

Os anos foram passando, e eu sempre fui comparada com ela pela nossa família que é bem conservadora. Afinal, ela era doce, cursa um curso considerado de prestigio, tinha um namorado que agora é noivo... Já eu sempre fui muito à frente, cursei o que queria, nunca namorei por querer focar em mim mesma, não deixo as pessoas me fazerem de capacho - sou lida muitas vezes como inapropriada. Nem por isso criei birra dela.

Pois bem, finalmente estou tendo os frutos do meu estudo. Minha prima continua estudando. Eu notei que quando consegui um certo emprego MUITO bom, onde ganho acima da média, ela ficou na dela, até peguei ela sendo amparada por uma tia nossa que disse "ainda vai chegar a sua hora". Quando contei na reunião de família sobre minha primeira semana no emprego novo, ela disse "eu também trabalho, mas por ser em X curso da saúde, é de graça", toda defensiva.

Eu já havia notado que nos últimos tempos ela não via mais compartilhando muita coisa comigo, e que agora já me chamava só de tia. Mas desde essa última reunião de família, ela foi ficando cada vez mais distante, até parar de me responder de vez, parar de curtir minhas coisas de vez.

Foi necessário minha mãe pedir para eu parar de mandar mensagem para eu manter minha dignidade.

Eu só acho isso uma traição da parte dela até pq já até apanhar para defender ela eu já apanhei. Mas como sempre, dou mais do que recebo em troca.

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u/Suyin_8 — 4 months ago

When a binge eating episode strikes for me

I was crying just right a few moments for I almost had an episode of binge eating. I have been stressed these days due to the end of semester, and I felt the need to eat a lot half an hour ago.

I had to brace myself and feel the pain of not attending the urge to eat everything in my sight. It physically pains. Now, it has subdued, but I am still feeling like a FOMO, a small temptation, a scarcity mentality.

But... I realized one of the things that led to this was to not have a meal ready and the sink to be full with dish to wash. I will try to cook everything I need this weekend and freeze.

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u/Suyin_8 — 4 months ago

What truly helped you abandon a sin that was hard to abandon?

Hi.

I have some sins I struggle to get free from: impatience and anger issues. I tried everything. But I always come full circle, and I am left with the consequences of it.

I know the anger issues come from suffering with depression. Yet, I do want to be free from it.

​

What happened you with sins that sticked to you?

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u/Suyin_8 — 4 months ago

Have I found my place in Christ's body? If so, why does it feel out of curve?

23F here. I converted at 21. I spent 2 years going through a rebirth/reshaping of life and mind. I have become free in many ways: from sin, from remorse, from bitter memories, from mundane habits.

As of now, I am single, finishing College, an intern, with a better relationship with my family and friends. I was even getting to know a Christian man these days.

But I was feeling frustrated. Then, I had the epiphany I have always accomplished what people expected of me from society: an specific job, to be a wife and a mother WHOEVER be your partner, lowkey settling. I recognize now that what would make me happy is to be single, heal myself more, do some charity, preach the Gospel through the way I live.

As of being a mother, I let it to the future to say (be it in 2 or 10 years) for it is even complex to me: I do not want to be a mother due to my own fulfillment, more like to guide a soul in this world, to teach the world to a little one. I already do it with the little ones of my family. Maybe I can adopt (I think I would like to adopt, and God certainly approves of adoption) or guide people in another way.

So... no wife and mother path for me as of now? I am woman, I was taught my whole life it was the natural to be, specially as a Christian woman; otherwise, I am selfish and immature, unholy. I know little to no women (influencers or not) that reject marriage path.

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u/Suyin_8 — 4 months ago

I don't know if I can loss more weight (context: obesity)

23F here.

My highest weight was 190 lbs (in 5'1), my lowest weight in this weight loss journey was 145 lbs. I am currently 148 lbs.

​

I can't stand the hunger from deficit anymore. Nor this clean diet. Sometimes I only wish to order for 4 people at McDonalds and eat all of it. I know I suffer with binge eating - this is what brought me to this obesity.

​

It is extenuating to loss more weight until 125 lbs. Some say an obese person must just leave obesity weight, not get into the health one - this is the goal for most. Also, I am suffering with saggy skin.

​

I spend my day hungry. My humor is bad - I do love dopamine from food and TikTok, and I am having less of both.

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u/Suyin_8 — 4 months ago