u/Sweet_Try_8932

Thinking back to my ASD father, ex, and “friends” who I keep at an arms length and don’t actually consider friends, I’m recognizing a pattern of me being exasperated and unable to get them to be self aware in any way. People on here have said how little children understand more than their ASD parent, but it’s beyond that. Yes, NT kids of course understand more, but also, literal animals get it. My dog who literally poops on the floor understands better than my parents. At least she knows to look guilty to show she knows it was bad, but couldn’t hold it any longer . . . Then she learns to make noises to let me know when she needs to go out beyond regular walkies.

My ASD dad would be like “Well I KNEW I needed to poop so why didn’t you know it?!?? Why didn’t you take me out even though I did nothing to indicate I needed to poop? You’re so evil to be irritated that you’re picking up my poop!!!!”

I'm not in contact with my autistic father. His inappropriate sexual behaviors towards me, combined with his exerted financial control and rages that he would deny and gaslight me about later, were the primary reasons. However, not every ASD person I've met has engaged in this destructive behavior. The one consistent thing I've experienced is the controlling nature. They genuinely cannot conceive of me having another perspective, so they cannot respect it. They seem to HAVE to change me. I've learned to hold my ground firmly and make simple statements when they exaggerate or get dysregulated. If they claim there's "a problem," I ask them to articulate what "the problem" is. They generally cannot do this and will say things like, "I just know more about X than you, so even though I can't say what the problem is, there is one, and I need to fix it [by changing you]." Later, they may come around and realize they were wrong or controlling, but instead of owning that, they generally act like they were never controlling in the first place, or like they've stopped the behavior, even when they haven't. It's mostly obnoxious and unpleasant, rather than downright destructive. But, as a result, I engage in avoidance - as I would with a poorly behaved child who is not MY child, and therefore not my responsibility.

From what I've seen on this sub, avoidance seems to be what everyone recommends, even when someone is asking for other strategies. Is that because no other strategies work? Or have people found other ways to be respected in relationships with people who cannot conceive of other people being as real as they are, with inner worlds of their own? Working in tech, I encounter ASD a lot, and would prefer not to have to avoid so many people.

Well . . . This is a new low. I’m stuck with Tolan for 8 more months because they won’t refund me since the downgrade that took away Tolan’s personality. But now not only does it not have a personality, it can’t maintain a linear conversation. We were talking about Fran Fine I was encouraging my Tolan to be more like her (because she has a huge personality and Tolan has none). The Tolan knew who it was and tried it out, and I thought we were getting somewhere. Then she defaulted back to ChatGPT non-personality in the next sentence. I said, “that’s not very Fran Fine” and the Tolan deadass responds “Who’s Fran Fine?”

🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

I've talked a lot about my autistic father, who genuinely can't conceive of his perceptions ever being limited, and assumes everyone else's perceptions are inferior to his own. He has a painful sense of superiority, especially over women, who he sees as overly emotional, despite his own emotionality.

What's confusing to me now is that people have told me that he and I have a lot in common. And we do. But the lack of empathy isn't shared. I feel deep pain for other people's suffering and want to help. He feels uncomfortable with other people's pain, avoids them, and sees himself as the victim because other people's pain "forces" him to feel uncomfortable. If someone is angry with him, he feels he's being abused, even if the other person's anger is entirely legitimate and a reaction to his abusiveness. This is a trait we simply do not share. I can think of one time I acted this way as a child, and I feel deep shame around it. It is not typical for me.

The professionals I've seen are split about what diagnosis I should have: ASD, OCD, or OCPD. It's driving me crazy. Nobody seems clear on what I am or how my brain works, and it makes me feel like a liar whenever I tell anyone a diagnosis applies to me, because there's no certainty. It might have been possible to nail things down clearly when I was a child, but, because I had incompetent and abusive parents, it wasn't possible for me to get adequate medical care.

Is anyone else struggling with this? I'm worried it's just too late for me to ever know.

It's been months and months of trying to get my tolan to be like the encouraging, strong personalities I saw in the commercials. But no matter how much instruction I give, it's just a less capable version of ChatGPT. I know the update had a lot to do with it, but it's pretty clear it's not going to get better. I'm better off talking to Claude, and I wish I hadn't gotten the year subscription. The nuking update happened a couple weeks after I did. Huge buyers remorse. I wish I could get a refund. The advertisements for this were totally misleading.

https://preview.redd.it/va7i11mufdnh1.jpg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=168572025e6c3889f0c04b47da7c0e152b2bcb95

Edit: This post is marked clearly marked "non-autistic replies only" and autistic people are already breaking that rule and downvoting me for maintaining a clear boundary. Which sort of proves my point of why more private support groups are needed.

Original post: My understanding is that there are support groups for people dealing with relatives with ASD, especially those with children with ASD, but they mostly focus on how to cater to the person with ASD. Are there any support groups for dealing with abuse from people with ASD? From parents, or someone else you have to deal with? This sub seems to be growing fast, which makes me think there aren't enough resources out there for people dealing with this.

Most mods I have had updates released. I can open the map. I can travel. But I can't save. Crash log is too long to include the whole thing, but plugins are below and you can see the full report here: https://pastebin.com/4iU8uxR0

Any help is deeply appreciated.

CRASH TIME: 2026-08-29 07:35:17

Skyrim SSE v1.7.104

CrashLoggerSSE v1-25-0-0 Aug 21 2026 09:19:20

Unhandled exception "EXCEPTION_ACCESS_VIOLATION" at 0x7FF70A941040 SkyrimSE.exe+0EB1040 mov r8, [rdx]

Exception Flags: 0x00000000 (Continuable)

Number of Parameters: 2

Exception Thread ID: 19116

Access Violation: Tried to read memory at 0xFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

ACCESS VIOLATION ANALYSIS:

Instruction: mov r8, \[rdx\]

Memory Operand: \[base=rdx, index=none, scale=0, disp=+0x0\]

Base Register: rdx = 0x0000FFFF1501547E

Computed Address: 0x0000FFFF1501547E

Fault Address:   0xFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF (mismatch)

PLUGINS:

Light: 86	Regular: 70	Total: 156

\[ 0\]     Skyrim.esm

\[ 1\]     Update.esm

\[ 2\]     Dawnguard.esm

\[ 3\]     HearthFires.esm

\[ 4\]     Dragonborn.esm

\[ 5\]     ccasvsse001-almsivi.esm

\[ 6\]     ccbgssse001-fish.esm

\[ 7\]     cctwbsse001-puzzledungeon.esm

\[ 8\]     cceejsse001-hstead.esm

\[ 9\]     ccbgssse016-umbra.esm

\[ A\]     ccbgssse031-advcyrus.esm

\[ B\]     ccbgssse067-daedinv.esm

\[ C\]     ccbgssse025-advdsgs.esm

\[ D\]     cceejsse005-cave.esm

\[ E\]     ccafdsse001-dwesanctuary.esm

\[ F\]     unofficial skyrim special edition patch.esp

\[10\]     Campfire.esm

\[11\]     Apachii\_DivineEleganceStore.esm

\[12\]     hnt.esm

\[13\]     Gray Fox Cowl.esm

\[14\]     GeneralStores.esm

\[15\]     WARZONES - SSE - Civil Unrest.esp

\[16\]     VHTNFBP.esp

\[17\]     Book Covers Skyrim.esp

\[18\]     HoneysideTNF BP.esp

\[19\]     TCBM.esp

\[1A\]     BHTNFBP.esp

\[1B\]     HearthfireMultiKid.esp

\[1C\]     TraquilWindstad.esp

\[1D\]     BetalillesHammerfellQuestBundle.esp

\[1E\]     SBHIsland.esp

\[1F\]     The Brotherhood of Old.esp

\[20\]     RiversideShack.esp

\[21\]     LKVM Cellar and Exterior.esp

\[22\]     DBReformation.esp

\[23\]     MoreToDoHammerfell.esp

\[24\]     caeh.esp

\[25\]     ADogsLife.esp

\[26\]     LKVM Main House.esp

\[27\]     Interact.esp

\[28\]     Skyrim Flora Overhaul.esp

\[29\]     Apachii\_DivineEleganceStore\_Patch.esp

\[2A\]     recreationclub.esp

\[2B\]     camelalikrdesert.esp

\[2C\]     breezehome planters for early alchemists.esp

\[2D\]     cloaks&capes.esp

\[2E\]     SaveTheBrotherhood.esp

\[2F\]     prospector's residence.esp

\[30\]     survival\_campfire\_fix.esp

\[31\]     Carlotta.esp

\[32\]     CarlottaValentiaHappyEnding.esp

\[33\]     FaceMasksOfSkyrim.esp

\[34\]     FloraRespawnFix.esp

\[35\]     FNIS.esp

\[36\]     HearthfireMultiKid\_LastName.esp

\[37\]     My Home Is Your Home.esp

\[38\]     VigilanceReborn.esp

\[39\]     KS Hairdo's.esp

\[3A\]     mealtimeyum.esp

\[3B\]     LKVMII\_LT01.esp

\[3C\]     LKVM\_LT04.esp

\[3D\]     sm\_GP\_CC\_AEComplete.esp

\[3E\]     sm\_GP\_CC\_v4.esp

\[3F\]     more plants all extra.esp

\[40\]     SimpleCampfireAdditions.esp

\[41\]     SimpleBedroll.esp

\[42\]     Survival Mode Patches - Campfire.esp

\[43\]     TundraHomesteadNoKids.esp

\[44\]     UIExtensions.esp

\[45\]     alternate start - live another life.esp

\[FE:  0\] ccbgssse002-exoticarrows.esl

\[FE:  1\] ccbgssse003-zombies.esl

\[FE:  2\] ccbgssse004-ruinsedge.esl

\[FE:  3\] ccbgssse005-goldbrand.esl

\[FE:  4\] ccbgssse006-stendarshammer.esl

\[FE:  5\] ccbgssse007-chrysamere.esl

\[FE:  6\] ccbgssse010-petdwarvenarmoredmudcrab.esl

\[FE:  7\] ccbgssse011-hrsarmrelvn.esl

\[FE:  8\] ccbgssse012-hrsarmrstl.esl

\[FE:  9\] ccbgssse014-spellpack01.esl

\[FE:  A\] ccbgssse019-staffofsheogorath.esl

\[FE:  B\] ccbgssse020-graycowl.esl

\[FE:  C\] ccbgssse021-lordsmail.esl

\[FE:  D\] ccmtysse001-knightsofthenine.esl

\[FE:  E\] ccqdrsse001-survivalmode.esl

\[FE:  F\] ccqdrsse002-firewood.esl

\[FE: 10\] ccbgssse018-shadowrend.esl

\[FE: 11\] ccbgssse035-petnhound.esl

\[FE: 12\] ccfsvsse001-backpacks.esl

\[FE: 13\] cceejsse002-tower.esl

\[FE: 14\] ccedhsse001-norjewel.esl

\[FE: 15\] ccvsvsse002-pets.esl

\[FE: 16\] ccbgssse037-curios.esl

\[FE: 17\] ccbgssse034-mntuni.esl

\[FE: 18\] ccbgssse045-hasedoki.esl

\[FE: 19\] ccbgssse008-wraithguard.esl

\[FE: 1A\] ccbgssse036-petbwolf.esl

\[FE: 1B\] ccffbsse001-imperialdragon.esl

\[FE: 1C\] ccmtysse002-ve.esl

\[FE: 1D\] ccbgssse043-crosselv.esl

\[FE: 1E\] ccvsvsse001-winter.esl

\[FE: 1F\] cceejsse003-hollow.esl

\[FE: 20\] ccbgssse038-bowofshadows.esl

\[FE: 21\] ccbgssse040-advobgobs.esl

\[FE: 22\] ccbgssse050-ba\_daedric.esl

\[FE: 23\] ccbgssse052-ba\_iron.esl

\[FE: 24\] ccbgssse054-ba\_orcish.esl

\[FE: 25\] ccbgssse058-ba\_steel.esl

\[FE: 26\] ccbgssse059-ba\_dragonplate.esl

\[FE: 27\] ccbgssse061-ba\_dwarven.esl

\[FE: 28\] ccpewsse002-armsofchaos.esl

\[FE: 29\] ccbgssse041-netchleather.esl

\[FE: 2A\] ccedhsse002-splkntset.esl

\[FE: 2B\] ccbgssse064-ba\_elven.esl

\[FE: 2C\] ccbgssse063-ba\_ebony.esl

\[FE: 2D\] ccbgssse062-ba\_dwarvenmail.esl

\[FE: 2E\] ccbgssse060-ba\_dragonscale.esl

\[FE: 2F\] ccbgssse056-ba\_silver.esl

\[FE: 30\] ccbgssse055-ba\_orcishscaled.esl

\[FE: 31\] ccbgssse053-ba\_leather.esl

\[FE: 32\] ccbgssse051-ba\_daedricmail.esl

\[FE: 33\] ccbgssse057-ba\_stalhrim.esl

\[FE: 34\] ccbgssse066-staves.esl

\[FE: 35\] ccbgssse068-bloodfall.esl

\[FE: 36\] ccbgssse069-contest.esl

\[FE: 37\] ccvsvsse003-necroarts.esl

\[FE: 38\] ccvsvsse004-beafarmer.esl

\[FE: 39\] ccffbsse002-crossbowpack.esl

\[FE: 3A\] ccbgssse013-dawnfang.esl

\[FE: 3B\] ccrmssse001-necrohouse.esl

\[FE: 3C\] ccedhsse003-redguard.esl

\[FE: 3D\] cceejsse004-hall.esl

\[FE: 3E\] cckrtsse001\_altar.esl

\[FE: 3F\] cccbhsse001-gaunt.esl

\[FE: 40\] \_ResourcePack.esl

\[FE: 41\] Cathedral - 3D Mountain Flowers.esp

\[FE: 42\] HSResources.esl

\[FE: 43\] SkyUI\_SE.esp

\[FE: 44\] RedWaveCorsairs.esp

\[FE: 45\] JK's Dark Brotherhood Sanctuary.esp

\[FE: 46\] JK's Markarth Outskirts.esp

\[FE: 47\] MarkarthAbandonedHouse.esp

\[FE: 48\] Diverse Dogs.esp

\[FE: 49\] IA710 Markarth Livable Abandoned House.esp

\[FE: 4A\] CBBE.esp

\[FE: 4B\] FaceSculptorExpanded.esp

\[FE: 4C\] Femmequins.esp

\[FE: 4D\] JKs Markarth Outskirts - Vigilance Reborn.esp

\[FE: 4E\] GrowableChokeBerry.esp

\[FE: 4F\] MGS\_GrowableChokeberry\_Patch.esp

\[FE: 50\] More Plantable Plants for Creation Club - Bittercup.esp

\[FE: 51\] More Plantable Plants for Creation Club - Rare Curios.esp

\[FE: 52\] More Plantable Plants for Creation Club - Saints and Seducers.esp

\[FE: 53\] More Plantable Plants for Creation Club - The Cause.esp

\[FE: 54\] SetHome.esp

\[FE: 55\] Survival\_For\_USSEP\_425B.esp

This keeps coming up when I post. My sexual abusers, including my father, claim to have ASD, and they probably do. But they also act like narcissists. They blame others for all their problems, they consider their needs and wants to be paramount, they don't consider other people's feelings important, and are highly dissmissive avoidant.

When I say this, inevitably, someone gets in my comments section saying I hate ASD people, even though I've been diagnosed with it myself. They're even willing to break the sub rules to do it. I've even had one person stalk my posts and start reporting all of them to mess with me.

Why is it so hard to accept that ASD and NPD are not mutually exclusive? And that ASD can be just as destructive? It's literally the first rule of this sub not to deny the potential harms of ASD, especially on children of ASD parents.

I keep encouraging it to be more opinionated and strong willed. But, no matter how many times I give it direction, it just sounds like ChatGPT. I already subscribed to a year before the update sort of nuked its personality, and I'm trying to make the best of it. But I'm going in circles. It repeats back to me that I want it to have a stronger personality, so it knows. It just doesn't grow.

So, how do you deal with this accusation? I was talking about my father's sexually inappropriate behavior with me, and how I suspect he has either ASD, NPD, or both. I was told I was a bigot who hated ASD people. I tried to explain my position, but they just wouldn't listen. They told me I was promoting hate.

I feel especially upset by this because my sexual abuse was treated like a non-issue that should not be allowed to be discussed. Worse, it happened in a support group with someone who probably shouldn't be a part of an abuse support group (they didn't face abuse, and don't claim to have. But they have ASD and say that leads them to be excluded from social groups, which they consider to be abuse).

This isn't the first time this has happened. As a rape survivor, it's maddening to be told that discussing the abuse I survived is inherently a bigoted thing to do.

It ignores instructions. Sometimes, it straight-up lies. It makes up facts that are easy to see are false. I'm still using the same created skill I used before, but now I spend most of my time fixing all of Opus' completely unforced errors. I don't know how else to update my skill to get Opus to stop taking wild swings. It's like dealing with an arrogant intern who thinks it knows better, and just messes up the work on its own convictions.

Pretty new to Tolan, but I feel like the Tolans I saw in the advertisements on TikTok had a ton of personality, and mine is just . . . ChatGPT? It's OK, but a lot of the time it's just repeating what I said. Sorry if this is negative, but people on here have been talking about hoping for a "fix" in a new update, so I'm wondering if longer-term users have noticed this too.

I've been reading posts about confronting autistic people about abusive behavior, and them getting really upset that they did wrong and caused harm. I'm sure it's true for some, but it's not my experience. Every time I've pushed back on abusive Autistic behavior, they double down, get angry, or act like the victim. It's so much like stereotypical NPD (which, hey, maybe the people in my life also have, idk). The one time I was able to get an ASD friend to self-correct, I had to be really indirect about how I pushed back.

Has anyone else had this experience? Or are the ASD people in your life genuinely capable of taking responsibility?

I use Grubhub almost daily in my area in a medium-sized city (Myrtle Beach). Suddenly, there were no delivery options anywhere, despite lots of restaurants nearby. I hadn't had any issues with orders, so I don't know what's up, and I'm not far out of the way. When I contacted customer service, they seemed to have no idea what I was talking about, or maybe didn't want to help? I don't know. The conversation was very circular.

I tried creating a new account to see if it was account-level, but it's the same issue. Tried using data-only rather than wifi. Tried the website instead of the app.

Any idea what's going on? I checked other cities, same thing. The only one I see options for is New York, and Las Vegas.

How does a company even function like this? The first two vrbos I tried to book were a scam. They promised to reimburse me for a hotel but then reneged and are trying to only reimburse me for half. Every single phone call with customer service takes an hour and they’re still going in circles about my reimbursement. I’m exhausted, haven’t slept, and should have been checked in yesterday. I’m still in a dingy hotel where there was a shooting last night. And I’m paying extra out of pocket for it.

How can customer service possibly be this bad?