To put this into perspective, the base three Redwood Empire offerings (Pipe Dream, Emerald Giant, and Lost Monarch) typically sell for $34-36/750ml in this area. So this is a pretty great deal. Admittedly, I think Pipe Dream is their weakest offering, but its still pretty good. At this price, I will definitely pick up a few more!
21yo stepson (autistic developmentally delayed) having some health issues. Doctor wants bloodwork done. OK, cool. Kid is terrified of needles and is strong enough to not be held down easily. We tell the doctor that this is going to be an issue unless they sedate him first. Doctor says that they know how to deal with it at the lab. Yeah, whatever. They came with a needle and my kid ran out the door. So they shrug and say "maybe next time." Wtf? What if my son has a serious issue and they can't diagnose it because he's scared of needles? So, he's just screwed and cant get proper health care because he's autistic? Same shit when he sees the dentist. The one thats supposed to specialize in autistic patients. They try to look in his mouth but give up pretty quick because he doesn't like people poking around in his mouth. They say just to try to keep him brushing. Fuckers. They have no idea if he has a cavity or not because its too much trouble for them to look. We've told them that it is challenging to get him to brush his teeth. I'm just so fucking sick of this shit. I get that its not ideal to put someone under for routine stuff but what the fuck are we supposed to do here? Like a Xanax or Ativan doesn't work. The only thing that has worked is nitrous. But no one is willing to do that. So I guess we're just fucked.
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Sorry. I just needed to fucking rant. I hate feeling this helpless.
The ironic part is that I'm a chef. I feel like i should be the one doing the meal prep and cooking for her. Unfortunately, i just dont have the time too because I work as a damn chef. Sometimes I really hate this career. She lives alone and the only close family is myself and my adult daughter. Between the 2 of us we do her shopping, cleaning, laundry, taking her to her appointments etc. This is all very new to us. 2 months ago my mom was a very independent and strong woman. Now we worry about her being alone. We wish we could do more, but my daughter has work and is in school for her Master's degree and lives with her fiancé' and I have my job and my family including taking care of my autistic stepson who can be violent. We're still waiting to hear the prognosis and treatment plan for the cancer. She was receiving care for waldenstrons lymphoma but it has spread and she now has metastatic colon cancer.
Sorry for the ramble. I'm looking at CookUnity but theres a lot of meals that either dont fit her diet or dont match with what she likes to eat (nothing in anyway spicy, she used to enjoy seafood but says its not appealing to her anymore. Ethnic dishes are hit or miss). Im open to all suggestions and advice.
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NOTE: I am going to refer to my significant other as my wife although we are not married and I am going to refer to her son as our son because I've been his only dad for 18 years in this post just to keep things easier.
Our adult autistic son (21yo) (developmentally delayed) has become more than we can handle. I'll refer to him as Evan for the sake of anonymity. He has become increasingly more violent. The last straw was he purposely pushed his mother down the stairs. She suffered a fractured nose, an orbital socket fracture and a fracture of her thumb. It was pretty bad. Honestly, if I hadn't been home, it's possible it could have been much worse. And I am not home a lot. Work and taking care of my mother who has stage 4 cancer means I'm not home as much as I'd like to be.
We love Evan. We will always love Evan and he will always be part of our family. But, it is no longer a safe situation to have him at home. Evan, in many ways has the mentality of a 6yo but also has a lot of OCD tendencies and aggression. We are trying to have him placed into a residential or group home. We are located in Central NY and Evan has a service coordinator through LifePlan. He currently attends a day-hab program 5 days a week.
Our service coordinator has told us that this will probably take up to a year. She has had us document everything thing that happens, police reports etc to hopefully expedite the process.
Is there anything else we can or should be doing? Our current service coordinator has done more than any of the previous ones, but we are still nervous as we have heard many empty promises over the years. How do we know that he is actually "on a waiting list"? Is there something we can do on our own.
We're looking for advice and hoping to develop our support network more. If there is a more specific sub for this, please advise.
My wife has legal guardianship. I do not. Evan receives SSD benefits and is on medicaid.
In an ideal world, Evan would remain living with us. But that is no longer a safe option. We would like the option to bring him home again if we feel that both Evan and his mom will be safe. Obviously, we plan on maintaining contact with him.