u/TIBTHINK

WARNING: this a morbid, heartbreaking, ethical, suicide related, and honestly just depressing and know I am sorry for asking this but I need to know

My dad has stopped reciving treatment near the end of April. He has a blockage in his neck artery of about 75% at least. His blood pressure is unbelievably high with his avg before stroke being 220/160 in 2025, even with many medications for blood pressure it was still stage 1 hypertension.

4 weeks after stopping medication he had a back to back seizures again, the first time being 4 months ago from this event.

On many many occasions he has implied or straight out said he doesnt want to be alive anymore. He is miserable to the point that I dont think misery is even the right word.

He told us if he is ever having a seizure and or stroke to do nothing and just make him comfortable. My mom had a stipulation that if he bit his tounge to the point of bleeding that hes going to the hospital. But me and him and my brothers do not have that agreement and we are not going too.

I know it sounds like we are letting him die and will just observe him leaving this world unheartedly and wanting him to die. Its not, we all know and agree that he is never going to get better, he is almost basically blind and his cognitive is so obliterated that he cant talk past basic concepts and remember most things like facts and anything.

This knowledge of him dying soon and at any moment is quite possibly the hardest and worst thing I've ever had to witness and wait for. Because as I see it, he is committing suicide, at the end of the day that is what it is. It is not accepting his fate. Because he is fully aware of what he is doing and is hoping it happens.

I do love my dad and I will miss him dearly when he is gone. I just hope when he dies its quick, painless, peaceful and no fear.

So this is my question: if you dont do anything when having a seizure or stroke. How high are the chances of death and what happens when you die. Because honestly the biggest worry is complete brain death. Its known that when you die your brain is still active for a while after the heart stops. Does that still happen even when having a lethal stroke?

Again I am sorry for asking this because of the subject matter but I feel alone in this and just want to know he dies peacefully. Because there is absolutely nothing I can do to stop this, I wont do anything to speed this up either even tho I've considered it (not seriously). Because my dad has asked me to kill him, in anger but thats honestly what most of his reaction are. It is so rewarding to see him smile and laugh, its the one thing I missed since the stroke

I dont mean like worrying excessively. But more like ideas and questions pop up randomly.

For example, I keep searching up how psychotropic drugs work on like a fundamental level. And after that, ill attempt to go to sleep and then ill think of something else and go back to researching. Its like my brain doesnt know when "learning time" is over and relaxation time needs to start.

Does anyone else have this issue? Because jesus christ is it fucking annoying

I am on 300mg of gabapentin for sleep and while not perfect it works.

The problem is am having is i am on my last pill and cant get it refilled until the 9th. I know whats going to happen without it and trying to figure out what I can do that doesnt break the law and is available to me

I am considering taking either alchol, 2 benadryl, mugwort and blue lotus.

Of course not all of them at once, that would be insane. But what would be the most effective for short term, I only need it to last roughly 5 days until I can get a refill.

I am aware that this might cause more problems down the line but Im not doing 36 hours up and then crashing again. That shit sucks ass