u/Tall-Ad-8884

I am the only child of divorced parents (father 76, mother 63, me 33). They divorced when I was 21 but were severely dysfunctional for at least the last 6 years I lived there so it was a relief when they did. They weren't abusive to me. They provided everything I needed physically.

My mother's confidence tanked after the divorce and she needed support I couldn't provide as she navigated the dating and newly single scene. She became quite frustrated/aggressive with me. Never physical but alot of negativity towards me and how bad of a daughter I was. On a few occasions she'd call me last minute to tell me she wasn't paying my tuition that month. Or she'd insist we go out shopping together to bond where sometimes she'd make a big deal over her paying and others she'd lead me up to the till and say 'I don't know why you think I'd be paying for that.' It was very stressful for me because I never knew which I was going to get even if I asked. And then if I thought she wasn't going to pay and just go window shopping shed accuse me of trying to 'make a point' by not buying anything. No matter what I did I left feeling like an entitled brat aha. It also meant I had a lot of financial insecurity because I never knew when they were going to pull my funds. I couldn't get any help because on paper my parents were paying for me. I ended up working 2 jobs to try to get some security but I was competing with students at a top 15 school who didn't work 40 hours a week and could study and that made my life pretty hard

The last time I spoke to her she was trying to get me to drive 4 hours to meet her boyfriend and his family for mothers day in the mountains. I had told her I didn't want to meet her boyfriends until we were on better terms and this always caused significant friction. On this occasion I physically couldnt drive because I was uninsured and had just severely sprained my ankle so was trying to figure out how to get and pay for an x-ray. She chewed me out pretty bad and then blocked me when I said I couldn't come. Since then I haven't tried to contact her. In the last few years shes started sending me emails saying she wanted to reconnect but she very rarely responds to my replies.

On my dad's side were essentially another victim of politics. He's a big trump supporter. I'm not. I asked him for 6 years to not talk to me about politics but as he got more and more isolated after the divorce all he would talk about was our great bond as father and daughter and trump. I have a lot of anger for how absent my dad was growing up and how he chose not to support me after I was 18 even when I asked for help. It's just difficult for me to hear him talk about the amazing childhood he gave me(I was lonely and self harming for a lot of it) and our great bond while also trying to get into fights with me about politics which I've asked him repeatedly to not bring up. We had a big blow up one day and now he sends me about 2-3 emails a year outlining all the great things trump has done and that he misses me. Sometimes I respond re-iterating the no politics band. Sometimes I don't because I'm too tired

I have my first child on the way and it has me re-evaluating whether I'm being too sensitive with my parents. I've lurked here for awhile and everyone else's stories seem a lot more obvious that they should be no contact. I haven't read one like mine that's more in a gray zone. My parents aren't bad people but they're a product of their very human flaws. I don't mean to go no contact to punish them but just because I've never felt able to take on those flaws. For some reason they feel personally aimed at me. But again as an only child in a country I wasn't born in I recognise that my child won't have as much family as other people. It seems selfish to turn anyone away at this point.

Does anyone have any advice for how to re-evaluate this? I'm just afraid if I let them and find my parents haven't changed then it will only be bad news. I know from another source that my mom's sole reason for contacting me in the last few years is because she wants access to any of her grandchildren and that makes me a bit hesitant

Thanks very much in advance!

Not looking for medical advice just to see if anyone had a similar experience.

I'm a very avid runner but when I tested positive I went from I went from 35-45 mpw with 3k-5k ft elevation to 30mpw with no elevation and no runs over 8 miles to keep it easy.

I kept this up from the day of the positive test until 8w+0 where I had a singular gush of blood. No other bleeding and then passed a MASSIVE blood clot at 8w+3. There was no doubt that we had lost it. However despite ALL the symptoms when we went in for a scan at 8w+5 everything was fine. They didn't see a source for the bleed and my cervix was closed.

They said I can resume activity once the bleeding had stopped which it has but I'm so scared to do anything other than sit on the couch. Im afraid to go to the bathroom or to laugh too hard or to sneeze.

We've been given the all clear but I've been completely terrified by the whole experience. Has anyone experienced anything similar and if so how did you get yourself out of it? Or am I right to abandon the idea of a fit pregnancy. I've read the papers that fail to find a significant relationship between running and miscarriage but I'm so so freaked I can't get out of my head

Title pretty much says it all. In my opinion my boss is super hacky. He reuploads our entire warehouse in SQL every night from 3 SPs which are more than 10k lines long each which is stupid and fragile in my opinion. He also (before I came) spent at least 3 days a month generating scheduled 'reports' for people which are just data pulls from the warehouse by copying and pasting SQL query results into excel.

I'm comfortable with SQL, python and PBI. He's already thrown a fit about me trying to use PBI because the company used tableau 4 years ago and didn't like it. But one of the things I thought would be useful was automating these scheduled reports in python. The SQL query is exactly the same, the difference is just that I'm using python to save it into a formatted excel doc and avoiding copy/paste errors. And then because that doesn't take a second to do I've started including a couple benchmarks so we can check how the data is shifting over time to make sure we're not uploading bad data

However everytime something goes wrong he always comes back and says it's because of the python approach. I keep explaining to him that the SQL query is exactly the same and at this point I'm wondering if it's worth the effort. Like last week he broke the SP by fiddling with it on a Friday and not checking that it didn't error out. And because the SPs run sequentially midnight and are thousands of lines of code long, one error anywhere breaks the entire thing. Not only did I catch that it didn't update, I found the issue and sent him the fix all before he woke up on Monday. His takeaway was to needle me for two italicised words on an email that I sent out (he physically called me and made me explain why they were italicised) and then said he can't take credit for any errors '[my] python' introduces to the system

I'm just wondering if I'm on the right track by pushing this. Ive been in this job less than a year and I feel like I can really help their systems out but if banning python is industry standard I'm not sure how helpful I can be. I'm also concerned that if every day is a fight just to use what I think are basic tools that I'm going to look around in 5 years and realise I've been skilled out. Is this normal? Should I be looking for a job in this dogsh*t market?

EDIT: our 'team' is a two man operation so I appreciate the idea of reaching out to other team members but it's probably an important dynamic to highlight that I'm his data monkey. Theres no oversight on his systems or behaviour

TW:miscarriage

Just wanted to get people's opinions on this because it's so new

My husband and I got pregnant and were super excited as it was our first. We found out a bit before 4 weeks and got on the ball of making all the usual appointments. Completely by chance I read that nurseries were booked solid so on a slow day early week 6 I called a couple nurseries near us to see and it was true! Our due date would have been Jan 7th 2027 and multiple nurseries were booked until Feb/March 2028.

All of the nurseries required in person tours and down deposits. We took time off work and threw ourselves into touring and getting our self on waitlist for the next 2 weeks. It was really difficult to have to tour nurseries when we were still very much in the fear of miscarriage phase so we're trying not to think too far ahead in the future. We hadn't even told our parents!

Anyway we miscarried over the weekend (8w+3). I have no idea what that means for these deposits but it just seems that this is an unforeseen side effect of making nursery more accessible without first making sure there are enough nurseries in the first place? I'm definitely not knocking the credits I think they're completely fab, but it has made us stare down what having a child would look like way too soon which admittedly made the loss so much worse.

8 weeks pregnant and feeling so lost and hopeless. Yesterday morning I had what can only be described as a singular period like cramp and a gush of bright red blood followed by light bleeding. All bright red and all more than I would normally have during a period so not what I would call spotting of old blood.

I spent all of yesterday being ping ponged between my GP, the EPU, A&E and 111 with all of them giving conflicting advice and no one being able to refer me to when/where I can get an ultrasound (I.e the only thing that can tell me if my pregnancy is still viable). Some people have been neutral, most have been incredibly cold and the woman from the EPU made me feel like dirt for wasting the EPUs time with something they 'cant help with.' I get what she's saying that if I'm miscarrying that they can't prevent it, but having clarity as to whether I am miscarrying or not would be such a massive relief over what I've been told to do which is sit at home and wait for a miscarriage if it ever comes. And if it doesn't I'm just sitting at home with no understanding of why I bled and if my actions lead to it (i.e if I have a subchorionic hematoma then I shouldn't be moving around but if I'm having a miscarriage I would quite like to have sushi go on a run and generally self sooth)

I've looked into transferring to a different hospital but Google says that could take weeks and when I called them their answering machine said they don't take self referrals. I've looked into a private scan which seems to be my only option for the moment and they have availability for a bleed/cramp specific ultrasound tomorrow but I'm just worried that in the event that we do have a heartbeat I'll pay £100 to be in this same position of not knowing what to do next? Has anyone had experience of being forced out of the NHS and into private care? I massively support the concept of the NHS and don't want to be seen as not supporting them but I also feel like I need some clarity about what's happening?

Hello

I've never bought race insurance before so I don't know if I'm being an idiot or not.

Essentially I bought insurance for a 100km race in July of this year. I booked my place in September of 2025 and when checking out they asked if I wanted to insure my place through XCover specifically for this race in July and I said yes and paid the extra £7

About a month ago I found out I was pregnant so I contacted XCover to let them know I was dropping out. They told me to cancel my place in the race and to book at ultrasound for £65 because a pregnancy test wasn't proof of pregnancy. After I submitted proof of cancellation and of the pregnancy they denied my request and told me that my cover ran out in January of 2026. They don't have any contact forms or anything for customers to get in touch with them

Am I....missing something obvious? Why would they advertise insurance for an event that doesn't actually cover the event itself? It was offered to me through the purchase page and it's an event that regularly sells out well in advance so it just seems like massively false advertising to offer me coverage but only until Jan.

Also because they made me cancel my spot before submitting my claim I can't even try to sell or swap it. I can't defer it because I needed to let the race organisers know 3 weeks ago (a couple days before I got a positive pregnancy test) and even if I did they only allow deferral for a year so I'd be signing up for a 100km race with 10k ft of vert less than 6 months post partum which I think even if I made it round is just asking for something to prolapse or worse (I don't even want to know what's worse than a prolapse 😅)

Anyway can anyone explain to me what I've missed or is insuring races just a scam?

I don't feel qualified to post in this group because I'm only 5 weeks pregnant but I'm freaking out. I've been having debilitating fatigue for the past 2 weeks to the point where I skipped run club (which I literally never do) because I slept through it. Last week got the confirmation I'm pregnant (yay!) but the symptoms have hit me like a truck SO EARLY. The last couple days my energy has been returning but now I'm dealing with pain in my SI joint which Google has told me is pretty common for people in their first trimester

I guess I just thought I'd have more time before my fitness declined and that I had more time to ease into losing said fitness. Like I thought that that morning sickness would take me out for a couple weeks and that would impact my fitness but it seems like an invisible switch flipped and now I can't run and that switch flipped at the earliest possible moment

Did this happen to other people too or have I just drawn the 'early symptoms straw.' is it possible that this is just me freaking out at the unfamiliarity of running with these hormones and I should just kind of plod through it until I adjust?

note: I'm not asking this for medical purposes, just pure anecdotal ones :)