u/Tarrybelle

Hi all, I have been trying to find a community of people who understand the struggle of a Non-24hr sleep cycle. I've read many of the posts and so much of what has been said is so relateable. It has taken decades for my husband an I to realise exactly what condition he was struggling with. At 40 years old he is finally going with the flow of what his body wants and needs. While I have been frustrated at time with when and how to organise time together, I find my biggest challenge is dealing with the lack of understanding from the outside world. I feel like I constantly have to explain away his unusual sleep patterns (I usually use the words night shift).

Understanding why he sleeps the way he does makes the whole process feel more predictable and less chaotic. We are both autistic so we are used to people not always understanding us, but this is an added layer which is extra challenging.

Can anyone recommend a good dog sitter in or near Kirkwall? We come into town on the ferry most Saturdays and need either a daycare or a dog sitter who can have our puppy with them for a few hours before we catch the ferry home.

I was wondering how many over 40s women are on here and only had their diagnosis within 5 years or less? I am 41 and got my diagnosis last year. I only started to consider that I might be autistic in about 2023.

​

My 20s were filled with workplace burnouts, bullying and trauma. It didnt help that I lived in one of the worst places to be autistic and at the worst time. Nothing about who I was or what I valued was considered worthwhile or "normal". I did find a small niche of likeminded people within the community theatre world, but unfortunately, I couldnt exist there all the time. I ended up leaving the country because it felt like a trap.

I have had private therapy for several years following my diagnosis at 39. However, my previous therapist had to stop work because of health issues and there was a change in my circumstance so I decided to go with NHS Scotland therapy instead (at least for the time being).

After four sessions I realise that the NHS is woefully illequipped to treat people with autism (especially autistic women). My therapist basically told me that the way i have been managing my interactions with people, and the world, is unsustainable and unnecessary. She did this without taking into consideration that i dont really chose to mask all the time because i think it is bullet proof, but because i know that unmasking can have worse consequences than a burnout. The world is not kind to people who are different.

She essentially wants me to stop bottom- up thinking and start top-down thinking and it will solve all my problems. You cant run Apple software on a non Apple computer. It wont work and it is not the solution.

I hate being made out to feel like I am the problem, that I am just not trying hard enough, and that I'm obviously just too stupid to figure out this simple thing that neurotypical people figure out as children.

Luckily I have my previous therapists treatement to compare against and an autism diagnosis to make it clear why this therapists strategies wont be able to help me and might even set me back. I dont even want to think about how damaging this mindset would be for a younger or more vulnerable person, especially if they dont realise they are autistic.

Our way of thinking isnt wrong, it just isnt the majority and that is the only reason why we struggle more. The world isnt designed with us in mind at all and i am sick of just having to accept and tolerate everything just because we are the minority.

Rant over.