u/Technical_Crab9798

I noticed that 4w5s and 5w4s have some attraction towards unexplainable events, and if you throw in those with a 4 and a 5 fix too, both have a natural inclination towards anything that isnt hard science.

Even 4w3 celebrities like Alison Harvard have some inclination towards displaying themselves as creepy, otherwordly, backroom type of person. As for people I know personally, theyre more interested in learning latin than, say, french or italian.

When it comes to presenting themselves, 4s tend to exaggerate whats different about them, or perhaps theyd exaggerate the parts that people want to hide about themselves.

https://preview.redd.it/7jn943i64akh1.png?width=736&format=png&auto=webp&s=5fbe87a7ccbfcac3f174bb56047d513cec108c39

https://preview.redd.it/79uv2hda4akh1.png?width=735&format=png&auto=webp&s=7fc0720ed814513f1417aed83d7df50b229fc296

https://preview.redd.it/wy34w7zf4akh1.png?width=735&format=png&auto=webp&s=0955ce8f0bf888f68078e2706896efa9edeee32f

(these are more e4 inspired pics)

I type Tim Burton as a 4w5. Every take he has leans obscure and creepy. When comparing the disney animation of Alice and the Wonderland to his film, the difference between his take and the OG version shows how other types handle unexplainable events compared to a 4. Where other types would narrate their story with some degree of lightheartedness, the 4 would focus on evoking uncomfortable emotions in the audience. If you throw sx in there theres some degree of provocativeness (Tim Burton is sx-so)

When it comes to e5, their worldview leans more towards spotting patterns, for them life makes no sense at all and like theyre in a pitch black world with a torchlight.

https://preview.redd.it/ly546w6j5akh1.png?width=1125&format=png&auto=webp&s=75f5ac27193d3e16c08c740c445f0db16b0c47dc

https://preview.redd.it/0j7d074l5akh1.png?width=1200&format=png&auto=webp&s=d4e2b6dc868b8b647856108e9ecc4ee5b9603610

My favorite author, Daniel Handler, is a 5w4. His books for children, A series of unfortunate events, is what I imagine a 5w4 worldview is like (plus polr Se in his case). In a world where nothing really makes sense, 5s find solace in their minds, focusing on what makes sense to them rather than depending on others for help.

https://preview.redd.it/jrnykvdb9akh1.png?width=736&format=png&auto=webp&s=568a2a89d04a6712a6d432bbc2d8d8631d7d4368

Where 5w6s might lean towards being a hikikomori - hacker type of person, 5w4s lean more towards ancient texts, obscure websites, and inaccessible information. The w4 elitism is well encapsulated in the ASOUE books, with the VFD being the secret organization that carries secrets. Ancient vocab, memento mori, and a contrast with seemingly normal and functional characters like Carmelita. And for some reason, most people who would appear normal in real life are often displayed as creepily functional in this worldview.

https://preview.redd.it/vq0n6fnnbakh1.png?width=750&format=png&auto=webp&s=d36d4d729398b07e6ae22935c9c5744dbd9c1b5b

https://preview.redd.it/pmhdkg32cakh1.png?width=442&format=png&auto=webp&s=5c59271d84fe28872c2b7bfd720129e794eb5f12

https://preview.redd.it/ytxqf8hucakh1.png?width=236&format=png&auto=webp&s=af2c388877207fcc29204ac5ef3c3432d5767bac

Obligatory anime mention, needed to include this boy, aka the OG 4w5 creation.

https://preview.redd.it/5tesm4ihdakh1.png?width=500&format=png&auto=webp&s=680904d21ca62404b3257f31ae8b9e3797ac7181

And for further reading, Tintenherz and Die unendliche Geschichte (I need to finish them sometime)

It seems like everybody is oversimplifying what it means to have sx with only being romantic, when I know many sx doms who aren’t romantic at all. Just like the social instinct can be present in all areas of life, sx can also be present. Someone could be alone most of their time and still have this instinct heavily present in their lives.

To clear things out, a lot of the people who are writing about the sx instinct are most likely aggressors in socionics. Approaching others, picking and choosing, appearing attractive… All of this is only really true for xSxP types. Other types are going to be slightly more subdued in how they present themselves.

SX isn’t just about sexuality. It’s about presenting yourself as the best possible choice for a mate. For xSxP types it is going to be about being physically fit, but SX dom xNxP types are going to be much more focused on their intellectuality (as an example).

An ENTJ for example is more likely to present themselves as smart, capable of handling or running a business. There’s still an element of “pick me, choose me” to them. As intuitives, they’re almost never going to go through the physical route of presenting themselves as attractive. This doesn’t mean that they’re not valuable in terms of SX. A smart person still makes an attractive mate, they can help you solve your problems, they can help you in your career, they might give you business guidance. All of these skills will be reserved for one person rather than sharing it with a community.

An ENFJ sx dom is more likely to present themselves as someone who is charismatic. They prize themselves on their ability to move others as they want. They still stand out in a way that shows that they’re a premium choice. They also will have a taste for aesthetics in a way that is striking. Subdued, but present. Instead of them coming to you they’re going to make you want to approach them.

Even ISTP sx doms aren’t always going to be interested in looking attractive. Some of them are very technically talented, especially in a way that shows others, “if you pick me, you won’t need anyone else in your life. I’m just as good a plumber as i am a computer engineer”. They might offer to repair your computer, or they will show off their really cool car. Either way, it’s a way of standing out that makes you want to choose them.

This doesn’t mean that social doms aren’t going to be talented, but their effort always goes elsewhere rather than being attractive. Instead of presenting themselves as the best businessman around, they’re going to have more community led efforts. An enfj sx blind is more likely going to be someone who joins a non profit rather than being pure charisma material. Or an intj sx blind is going to be someone who improves the skillset of an entire department, it still makes people think that they’re smart, but the difference is that there’s going to be a much bigger consensus on them being smart compared to a social blind intj. An esfj with social might be the person who gathers everyone for an occasion, either way, there’s still a clear “role” in what they do. Instead of completely relying on being able to captivate one person (compared to an enfj social blind) they’re going to be considered the one who is charismatic by the entire group. Skills that make them stand out are going to be their last priority, even though it’s still present.

This is why a lot of SX types are said to be polarizing. There’s never going to be a consensus on what they are, some might think that they’re smart, others might think that they’re dumb, either way they’re going to create a reaction based on who they want to attract or repel.

Then what about sp? Sp is simply not doing anything. At all. It’s conservation of energy. It’s never about doing dangerous activities or buying stuff for yourself, sp on its own is actually pretty miserly. They’re only going to spend loose change on themselves, hardly anything more. In fact people who spend a lot of money on themselves are way more likely to be sx or so dom. An extensive collection of figurines is way more indicative of social instinct, being part of a larger community and feeding off group values. An sx dom is probably going to spend it on a skill that they’re obsessed with, especially a skill that could make them stand out. When sp is forced to interact with people, it’s always going to have a self obsessed motive: if I help this person, they’re going to help me with my finances, or if I study with the best student in class, I am going to get a passing grade. In an sp-dom’s mind, there’s always going to be some degree of calculating how much they put out compared to how much they receive in return. Sx or So doms are always going to have this as a second or third priority.

On another note, the whole sx is about sexuality argument really falls apart when you look at the hoards of people who try to present themselves as attractive every day. It’s very rarely about what makes them shine and 9/10 times a social trait. A lot of cultures heavily value being presentable at all times, and culture is primarily social. It’s not about attracting a mate but being attractive to society.

I have been following a few writers in fiction and noticed a big difference when certain writers join in for one episode vs the usual writing that comes from an author.

In my opinion, Fe tends to be rarer in the US compared to the UK. I have watched shows from both countries growing up, and there’s a difference in the way that the audience is engaged. I also noticed what sort of difference guest writers make on a show.

When the writers are primarily Te/Fi, they tend to focus more on logical explanations and action packed plotlines. What sort of decisions did the main character make in order to defeat the enemy?

In mystery, every step is clearly communicated to the reader for the reader to understand. The reader should arrive at the same conclusion that the main character arrives at so they’re both on the same page.

Te types are pretty common in mystery, Veronica Mars is a series that leans more towards Te. Reliance on evidence, reading books or talking to people. There’s a clear process of how everything should be done, and it’s presented in a way that everyone can agree on who the culprit is. The audience are made to feel as though they’re just as smart as the main character.

This tends to be a bit different from when Ti types write mystery. Ti types keep their logic to themselves, surprising everyone when they reach their conclusion. Even if they reveal their thinking, it’s often hardly applicable on a large scale basis. The charger scene from Sherlock is a good example of Ti, it might’ve been true in the moment, but not every person who has scratches at their charger port is going to have bad drinking habits. Ti types don’t realize that they actually do have other reasons running through their mind but it doesn’t occur for them to reveal it. The audience are made to feel dumber or even smarter than the characters in the show.

Throughout the same show, the emotional undertone is often made much clearer in contrast to the logic. Emotional plotlines are usually the center of the series. This could be a conflict within a relationship, where the author puts two characters against each other to reveal what they feel. Fe writers try to incite embarrassment, feelings of emotional nudity, and stripping away of any formalities between two characters. They emotionally engage the audience by creating characters that you feel sorry for, or characters that are somewhat relatable in terms of feelings.

Then the writer finally reveals a chunk of Ti that’s been hiding behind all of the Fe expression. Ti reveals a deep embarrassing truth between characters. Ti users finally reveal their source of insecurity/superiority.

In Sherlock we have several scenes that show this: we have Molly hooper, receiving classic treatment from a high Ti user, she’s just an employee that helps Sherlock, nothing more. This is also an emotional plot in the 10th doctor with Martha Jones.

Fi types still have a strong emotional undertone in their writing, but they keep the emotions just as much a mystery as Ti types do to their logic. Fi types write characters that act in ways that are often highly unlikable, revealing what it truly means to be misunderstood. It’s up to the reader to make conclusions on why the character is acting in the way that they are. If someone is lashing out and hurting others, surely they have a wound that is causing this? Fi/Te types write characters that are often described as “truly monsters”, with only hints for the audience to interpret their pain. It’s possible that only the people who went through the same issue to understand the emotional basis of a characters action. So where Fi types have “true monsters” Fe types create “likable monsters”. There’s always a degree of relatability in Fe types.

My favorite example of Fi in writing is Scar from the Lion King. Hardly anyone would think of Scar as a relatable character, yet his actions clearly indicate one thing; and that is that Scar couldn’t handle the fact that Mufasa thought he was better than him and his actions were stemming from an inferiority complex. If you watch the interaction clearly, it’s easy to notice how dismissive Mufasa is, especially at how he expects his (adopted) brother to treat him like royalty. There are other unsaid problems within the relationship between these two characters, but it’s clear that Scar’s irritation is at some emotional conflict. The movie ends without the problem being resolved, revealing an emotional truth to the audience: sometimes villains die without ever being understood, and that their unresolved emotional trauma can lead them to their own demise. The solution ignores the feelings of the character, which is what Te tends to do.

There are also several interpretations by the audience of the same character. A lot of fandoms are actually pretty heavily Fi leaning. They assume that the character is doing it out of the same motivation as them. Where Ti types lean towards “no one is as smart or as mentally superior as me” Fi types lean towards “no one is as emotionally complex as me”. Where Fi types want to express their emotions as freely as possible due to feelings of superiority, they might miss the fact that Ti types might be doing this from a place of logic and vice versa.

There’s a lot of variance in workplaces nowadays but one thing is more common, and that is that efficiency and output is seen as extremely valuable.

In workplaces, it’s important to ignore feelings to survive. It’s the baseline of how any organization functions. Despite common misconceptions, this doesn’t mean that feeler types have it easier in workplaces. Its actually difference between Fe and Fi.

The development of Fi types actually comes when they learn how to put aside their own feelings to do what they think is right. Fi types are primarily centered around self expression, but at some point they learn that they can’t or shouldn’t be focusing on their emotions because of how subjective it could be. At some point they need to learn how to take in the facts (Te) into consideration. This helps them self actualize and become truer versions of themselves.

On the other side of things we have Ti/Fe types. Unfortunately these days, any sort of feeling is often categorized as a subjective experience. This is not the case for types with Fe. If an Fe type feels something, it’s often based on real world evidence. However with the amount of noise in the environment, it’s easy for an Fe type to feel drowned out. An Fe type expressing their feelings would feel dismissed when their feelings are treated like subjective experiences. This weakens their confidence in themselves.

Fe in workplaces looks different than Te. Where Te aims to increase performance, Fe focuses on what feels good at the cost of maximum profit. This could be finding a nice looking location because it brings the best type of customers. Or it could be ending a contract with an ungrateful client who treats everyone badly. Either way, profit isn’t the most important thing when it comes to Fe/Ti types. Sometimes it’s quality, a good relationship with customers, or a good workplace environment.

Fe/Ti types can’t handle extremely rigid, emotionally negative environments for a very long time, including inferior Fe types. There has to be some degree of harmony in their environment. Many people with Fe struggle in emotionally tough jobs like working in a hospital, being an aircraft pilot, or any job that involves bringing bad news to people.

Even jobs like teaching can be Te-based. Rather than facilitating a healthy learning environment, it could turn into a series of checklists and deliverables. Teachers are expected to ignore their feelings at the cost of keeping their job, even though they might have legitimate reasons for why they want to do things a certain way.

I have met many Ti types with a bad relationship with their Fe. Unfortunately, too many of them try to get their Ti worldview validated rather than actually working on how they feel. Rather than actually listening to themselves, many of them try to become some version of a xxtj type. Instead of trying to be likable people who are fun to be around, they try to be a heartless businessman with no friends, no social life, and no interest in anything besides making money. They are also very likely to get used for their time, they would do what they think is right, not realizing that they’re putting in a lot more effort than other people, then cutting themselves short by putting standard pricing (Te). They might also be very good employees that genuinely stand out but they are in a place with standardized rules which doesn’t allow for individual recognition.

As a side note what has really inspired me to write this was hearing about how some ISFJ man decided to quit his job. I don’t know what he has went through but I know from experience what causes an ISFJ type to feel distress at a workplace.

High Fe users are said to be people pleasing, harmonious, and kind at the cost of themselves. Development for Fe users is that they should learn how to set boundaries instead of trying to make everyone happy.

While this is true to an extent, it’s pretty limited in describing how it manifests. Fe users use Fe as a tool, not a goal. The goal isn’t to please people, but what they could get by keeping certain people happy. Fe users still have the same goals and wishes as everyone else.

Another aspect that’s not emphasized with Fe is how impersonal their accommodating traits are. High Fe users are more likely to be chivalrous rather than being someone’s personal people pleaser. They’re going to adopt traits that make them generally likable people, such as being polite, having manners, or knowing how to direct a conversation. This could also go the other way, like calling out rude behavior.

In fact some high Fe users are hardly people pleasing at all, especially if they learn how to embody Fe traits. Fe users start off by being somewhat passive by letting others choose them, knowing how to leverage the emotions of those around them to get what they want. If they present themselves in a way that makes others want them around, they can make demands on how they want their social environment to look like.

Many high Fe users develop their knowledge and skills based on what could get them ahead. They could develop opinions on culture or modern ethical problems in a way that makes others trust them or want to support them. High Fe users are the embodiment of traits that signal their social status, like being well dressed, eating healthy food, or being involved in modern culture. This adds meaning to the way that they’re perceived, if someone chooses to make them unhappy they should know who they’re crossing.

High Fe users can be quite mean in a way that they might disregard others for their emotions. A lot of the times they express their emotions in a way that doesn’t take others feelings into account. Fe users are at the pinnacle of their development when they express their emotions as freely as possible, without feeling afraid of offending others. And on the opposing side, Fe users that try to keep others happy are often pretty behind in their development, resentful and unhappy. They can’t achieve the goals they want because no one is really happy with them.

There’s often a big conflict between Fe and Fi users in relationships. The main problem lies in communication, but there are other secondary problems that come with it.

I made a new observation on the conflict. One of them is that Fe is quite unconditional in its expression of feelings ie I express my feelings for the sake of it. I do not expect an outcome from it.

Fi seems to be the opposite. Expression of feelings doesn’t come without a reason, and it’s more likely to show in action (Te)

Eg I love someone, therefore I will do my best to help them pass an exam (or anything else that’s meaningful). My feelings are up to be freely interpreted by the other side.

It gets interesting because when Fe types express their emotions it’s often seen as fake. Fi types are likely to ask: why are Fe types saying that they love me when I haven’t seen any action coming from it?

While Fe types have trouble believing that they are loved if there is no expression of it. A person could be doing everything for them but they might still feel like they’re unloved. The automatic way of thinking for Fe types is that: if they’re doing something for me everyday, they might have their own reasons for it (Ti). It doesn’t mean that they love me.

Hey, this is a story I hate
And telling it might make me break
But I'll tell it anyway
This chapter's about
How you said there was nobody else
Then you got up and went to her house
You guys always left me out
I still have the letter you wrote
When you told me that I was the only girl
You'd ever want in your life
I guess my friends were right
Each day goes by and each night, I cry
Somebody saw you with her last night
You gave me your word, "Don't worry 'bout her"
You might love her now, but you loved me first
Said you'd never hurt me, but here we are
Oh, you swore on every star
How could you be so reckless with my heart?
You check in and out
Of my heart like a hotel
And she must be perfect, oh well
I hope you both go to hell
I still have the letter you wrote
When you told me that I was the only girl
You'd ever want in your life
I guess my friends were right
Each day goes by and each night, I cry
Somebody saw you with her last night
You gave me your word, "Don't worry 'bout her"
You might love her now, but you loved me first
Said you'd never hurt me, but here we are (here we are)
Oh, you swore on every star
How could you be so reckless with my heart? (Heart)
How could you be so reckless?
How could you be so reckless?
How could you be so reckless with someone's heart?
Hey, this is a story I hate
But I told it to cope with the pain
I'm so sorry if you can relate

This post is a mapping out on how mbti + enneagram has an influence on how others understand enneagram and as a consequence, how they type themselves and others.

Enneagram is primarily about understanding people’s emotional motivations for why they act in the way that they do. It deals with the primary emotions which are fear, love and anger. This is different from logical motivations which deals with facts, statistics, systems and accuracy. It is therefore safe to say that people who are best at understanding people’s emotional motivations are the ones who possess the best understanding of enneagram, and those who are weak in understanding other people’s motivations have a poor understanding of enneagram.

Then there is the case of balancing objective judgment (Je) with subjective judgment (Ji). Ji would like to inject their own understanding of the world into enneagram compared to Je, while Je would ignore their personal biases in favor for a view that’s more general and widely accepted. Since each person has both, it is often a balancing scheme between these two functions. Ti/Fe types want to insert their personal views of how the world works/systems into a larger Fe map of socially valuable vs invaluable, while Fi/Te types want to make enneagram a system of their likes/dislikes and communicate it as factually accurate/inaccurate.

It could also be noted that there are two ways to understand the motivations of others, either it could be understood in relation with one’s own personal emotional motivation (Fi) or through an objective mapping/spectrum of emotions (Fe). Fi types generally have a limited range of understanding due to centering themselves in their own system of values. Fe types ten to have a bigger understanding emotions that aren’t their own. This will be expanded upon later.

There are two ways of typing others or oneself. The first way is by performing a personal judgment/call (Ji), the second way is by taking into account external results/output (Je). Both ways are prone to fluctuating, both external output tends to change, and one’s own perception of oneself tends to change. Another way of spotting this fluctuation other than changing one’s personal type is by changing what it means to be a type (Ji informing Je) or by changing one’s own perception that they have of themselves based on how they’re perceived by others (Je informing Ji). Personal perception aka how we feel about ourselves is primarily influenced by the feeling function, therefore Fe types are more likely to take in how others perceive them into account when using enneagram while Fi types tend to take their own self perception as the primary way of typing themselves.

Fe/Ti types try to make sense of other people’s perception using their own personal system of logic, making sure that there are no contradictions to what others perceive. Ti gives Fe solidity in the sense that they will completely omit information that’s logically inconsistent, therefore their self perception doesn’t completely change the moment new information is added. Fi/Te types would change the facts based on how they feel, almost completely derailing the definition of what it means to be a type given that they identify with it. They will communicate their feelings as facts.

When it comes to how information is digested we have both the Pe and Pi functions. Pe tends to keep ends open compared to Pi, often to a detriment. But what’s more important in enneagram is the reliance on understanding patterns (N) more than singular events (S). Ni relies more on the essence of a person, reducing information to simple patterns and abstractions, while Ne has tendency of expansion and rearrangement of patterns, often creating something new entirely. Ni will funnel down events into a single type, while Ne will run all the possibilities in order to find anything unexpected. Ne is best at understanding situations that are completely new and foreign, applying new molds to different people to see how it fits, but they leave everything open ended. Ni would try to fit people into their own preexisting patterns. It’s only when they’re exposed to more sensory information that they can be more accurate in their typing.

In terms of sensory information, Si types tend to have a fixation on certain repetitive details like phrases. They’re also most likely to read a large amount of content to expand their understanding rather than engaging with the world through Ne.

Se on the other hand works more with impact, how assertive someone is in their description, and will avoid reading between the lines. If something is unclear or vague, Se types will have trouble taking this information into account.

A quick run down of where each type falls in terms of understanding enneagram:

ENTPs and INTPs:
Often the best at understanding enneagram from the get go, they understand the abstract information right away. Their Fe is still very much present in their understanding, reducing their personal biases when typing others.

ENTPs are often the worst when it comes to typing Fi types due to their PoLR Fi reacting to other’s self expression. This applies to ESTPs too.

INTPs create something really interesting with enneagram by developing adjacent systems or overlapping it with other typologies.

They can be a bit open ended, what they type you will depend on which day of the week it is. INTPs might have more consistent results with developed Si.

ENFJs and INFJs:
Can get really good with time, are the least biased types out there when it comes to understanding enneagram. However they need several years to truly develop their mental framework to avoid being influenced by what others perceive.

ESFJs and ISFJs:
Really good at understanding enneagram but ISFJs would center their type too much around their limited worldview. ESFJs are really good at understanding enneagram when they tap into Ne. xSFJs are best at typing people within their own environment as opposed to online spaces.

ESTPs and ISTPs:
They can get good with typing but unfortunately too many of them get stuck trying to understand their own worldview and how it fits into Fe. xSTPs will often get too hung up trying to understand how a system like typology would work in their own social environment while not accounting for environments that they completely avoid.

When it comes to Fi/Te types, these types vary based on their enneagram type. Fi/Te types would be very good at typing people who share the same enneagram type but their understanding will be limited to that.

Fi/Te types also tend to project emotions when they don’t understand it. Fi/Te types would often have to “put themselves in other people’s shoes” to understand others. Fi/Te types will not understand the difference between abilities, perception and type.

Fi/Te types have a tendency to use enneagram and typology as a means of self expression rather than building a mental framework. On the flip side, they will be the types most likely to monetize typology. They may or may not be less biased if they take the money route.

ENFPs and INFPs:
They possess a good understanding of enneagram but they do not have any interest in typing people correctly. They’re primarily motivated by self interest and self expression when it comes to enneagram.

ENTJs and INTJs:
They’re good at putting aside their personal feelings at times but only if it will benefit them in some way. ENTJs are particularly good at typing others but occasionally their Fi will take the forefront and they will use enneagram as a means of self expression.

INTJs will have some aversion to anyone typing themselves through Fe due to their PoLR Fe. Taking people’s opinions into consideration would often make them have a jerk reaction. This applies to ISTJs too.

ESFPs and ISFPs:
There are hardly any in enneagram spaces, but if they are they often possess a very limited understanding based on their Se experiences.

ESTJs and ISTJs:
Similar to ENTJs and INTJs they can be good at enneagram, but their Fi takes the forefront in typology spaces.

After taking MBTI into consideration enneagram takes a smaller role. When reading descriptions, descriptions are often ideal versions of a type. In terms of enneagram, there is one triad concerned with idealism, which is the frustration triad. The frustration triad would have a greater understanding of potential compared to the rejection and attachment triad.

Nowadays most arguments against disrespect are geared towards Fi.

Most of the time it’s about „how I feel“, „I feel hurt and betrayed“, and talking in depth about the emotional experience of being disrespected, how I thought that our friendship was deeper and how others keep pushing the bar of what’s acceptable.

I have observed enfjs in person but none of them have really been disrespected, well, because most people are civil when it comes to face to face interaction.

But I don’t think I can imagine any of the enfjs that I know (or esfjs even) having that strong Fe that could snap their fingers at someone who would openly say a slur besides one of my favorite teachers who taught me in middle school who happened to be enfj. She commanded respect, managed to discipline even the most disrespectful children, and succeeded creating a generally polite atmosphere. I’m not sure why it’s rare phenomenon and yet she’s the only example that comes to mind.

So what are your opinions towards this topic?

Could it be the dominance of Te environments (money and productivity determining respect)? Or is it weak Ti (if it’s logically true, then it’s deserved)? Or maybe a fear of consequences (if I assert myself, I might lose my job)?

I’m open to hearing new ideas.

Questionnaire by u/Extra_Restaurant6962

Link here: x

I decided to make this post to understand the general perception that people have of my type, because I realized at some point I need to factor it into my typing / see if there are any major discrepancies.

*1. Recall an event where you were distressed or faced great difficulty. Describe your subjective experience.*

Two years ago I had a fever that lasted three weeks and the general practitioner refused to give me sick leave. Instead I was injected with antibiotics every few days and was expected to go back to work while still feeling sick but then a few days later it would become unbearable again.

Generally situations like these are distressing because I never ask for help when I’m visibly in need of it. Later though I changed jobs and I was never pressured by others to ask for help. Now it’s pretty much a standard in my life to never be a part of such a strict work culture, because even during school/uni I always had some wiggle room or some teacher who’s willing to let me off. I only stay in jobs that rely on personal favors / relationships rather than environments with strict rules.

*2. What is your perspective when it comes to relationships and social interaction of all kinds? What do you value?*

With family or friend groups I tend to sit back and not talk a lot. I’m also last to participate in any activity that people do and I don’t participate unless someone involves me.

At work I tend to know most of what’s happening even though I don’t directly get involved, I keep strong track of relationships between people in a way that could help me further my own career. I know who’s productive and who’s not, who’s irritating everyone and who gets the work done, I know who’s getting excluded and who’s liked by everyone. I know what is expected from me in terms of hierarchy and how to improve my relationship based on that (like sharing experiences, personal opinions, guidance etc.). I don’t participate in bonding activities with my coworkers though. I also don’t acknowledge group roles when it comes to my own personal work, regardless of whether someone else has a specific role. If I can do it better I will take over. If I sense incompetence or laziness from others I’ll exclude them from what I’m doing.

My personal interactions are ones with a lot of inside jokes and references, like quick witted ones where me and the other person are on the same page. Which is pretty exclusionary. But if I can’t have fun or if there are too many people frowning at me for being too personal with certain individuals, I simply don’t tolerate that entitlement from others. I go quiet when there’s a sense urgency or strong expectations from other people.

I also have some friendships were we mostly just talk about how we feel.

When it comes to romantic relationships, I never take initiative and I rely on others to create it, how long it lasts completely depends on them. Whether they find something out about me completely depends on whether they ask or not, nothing really stems from myself. They also have to be „emotionally separate“ in the sense that I could be feeling something completely different and they still have to be able to stand their ground. Which filters out a lot of people surprisingly because a lot of people expect shared feelings and shared emotional investment and I mostly just satisfy myself. Also when I sense that there’s something that’s unsaid I don’t budge until it’s spelled out.

*3. How do you feel about your own needs and desires? Are you confident that they can be fulfilled? How and why?*

In terms of material desires, etc, i can admire a lot of things from afar but I never ask for it. I don’t spend a lot of money on myself, and I did a lot of questionable things in the past to cut costs. Even in terms of energy if I could skip doing something I would unless I’m being held accountable by someone else.

I’m very strict in terms of my needs. I have no issue withdrawing at a moments notice the minute I sense that I‘m being used. If I do something I usually demand that I have full authority over it otherwise I will not do it at all, I don’t do a patch-up job nor do I fix anyone’s mistakes. I don’t accept charity jobs like people who pretend that doing something for them would benefit me. I don’t do group effort either, I only work for my own recognition.

I spend a lot of time with imagery that provokes certain emotions, creating visuals that express how I feel, spending time exploring old buildings, going on short trips alone with my camera. I do a lot of people watching while walking through the neighborhood. I have several creative pursuits that I’ve been working on since I was a child, every year I upgrade a thing or two that could help me improve my output.

It was also fulfilling to me to be part of a company that didn’t expect me to follow the rules, I never stay in a place that expects me to strictly comply to working hours or to follow an organizational structure. I don’t have any sense of urgency in what I do. Creative freedom is a must, I never do things the way people expect me to do it „because it’s always been done this way“.

So I’m not really waiting for a miracle in my life to happen for me to change things, even though my current state is really not optimal.

*4. What is your personal worldview? (Indulge your philosophical side here!)*

Uh. It’s pretty dark and bleak. I do find a lot of philanthropy to be double sided, I never trusted a public figure with anything in my life. I never relied on a public figure delivering on their word, I live completely outside of politics. I don’t rely on the „good will“ of people to be saved from anything.

I trust very questionable people way more with my personal affairs than people who are well regarded by others. The more questionable the better, I despise „civility“ in the sense that everything someone does is by the book, it is a huge red flag for me when someone does everything like their parents/society told them to and never had conflict in their life.

I tend to take a more balanced approach when judging situations, and I read a lot of history to understand how situations can be framed. History tends to repeat itself and there’s nothing really new in this world so everything is kinda underwhelming to me. I don’t read the news and I’m pretty mindful of what I consume.

I do my best to shield myself with knowledge so I’m never affected by other people’s bad decisions. I don’t rely on the good will of others to get on with my life. My mental framework is completely independent from information that’s trending to the public like the news/tiktok, I read about topics in depth from 1-2 sources that feel „right“ and I have a good hunch when there’s missing / wrong information. I have a small rotation of people that I listen to: historical commentary, food science, anything related to production of goods, or just gathering some videos that provide essential information. I never go for heavily opinionated information, even at the cost of making my own wrong judgment. I don’t read from sources that try to tell me what to think.

*5. What major life lessons have you learned or are currently trying to learn? What makes you different from the more foolish/immature you in the past?*

That I should let go because whatever is going to come is going to come anyway and there’s no point in trying to fight it, and if something feels like too much effort it’s usually not for me.

Current typing: INFJ sx/sp 4w5 5w4 1w2