u/Terrible-Decision152

I'm waiting on my tfmr due to t21. My family are incredibly supportive.

One of my closest friends when I told her what's happening because I have to cancel a few planned events, bombarded me with everything about how the baby could have a normal life could be fine could could all be okay, my son could love the new baby and not be impacted at all etc etc etc.

I just stopped talking, I feel like this is a friendship I'm going to lose as well as a pregnancy I wanted.

NIPT result >95% risk for T21, NT 4.4, 1:2 t21 risk on combined screen. Small femurs 2-25% unsure on dates. I'm 36.

I originally thought I would never TFMR. Here I am waiting until Monday when the MFM line opens to book my amnio so I can go ahead with TFMR. I'm 15 weeks today. I can feel baby moving. She was so wanted.

We tried for 5 years for my son after a 6wk MMC, who is the absolute light of my life. He's two, beautiful, healthy, happy, a little speech delayed and likely has Autism but so do I so that's something I'm very comfortable with. I wasn't sure I would conceive again, and then we caught her.

I spent 12h after the NIPT looking into how I would care for a DS child, and I could, but I can't put that on my son. My husband is being an absolute beautiful human and agrees our son is the priority. But our hearts are broken. Every little poke from this baby inside me breaks me a little bit more but I can't keep her.

I don't need hope, I know the amnio isn't going to give me a miracle. I think I just need support.

I will be asking for a D&E because how do I go through labour without a baby at the end?! D&S isn't common here, it's usually induction after drugs to end the pregnancy.

I'm so sorry to everyone who has been or will be in this situation.

I have loved my BF journey, and now I'm not loving it so much. The night feeds are not my friend. Baby is 23 months, currently nursing pre nap, to sleep at bedtime, and then however many times he wakes up. But he's not the best sleeper- wakes when he pees, farts, when he wants to roar like a dinosaur at 3am, the usual toddler. Then struggles to get back to sleep without boob and I end up hating every minute of it in the night so ...

From tonight no night feeds. I'm prepared for tears and tantrums. Dad is prepared to take over. I have a cup with water ready to offer as an alternative. And I've explained as best I can to a non speaking 23 month old that booby is nearly finished, no booby at night, we can cuddle instead, and will be sticking to the "it's all gone tonight".

I'd rather not have to go cold turkey so I hope he can understand this just a little.

What are your experiences?

I work in a large department have been there for 4 years. I had a very messy car accident, multiple injuries, nerve damage, horrible.

I've been off work for over two months but the last month I've been 'fit for work with recommendations' with OH agreeing that my injuries don't stop me working just stop me being able to do the same level of physical work/13h shift length. Easy adjustments: slightly reduced shift length, allocated a lighter area of my normal department.

The problem I'm facing is my managers seem to be completely ignoring my emails and calls so I have no option but to stay off.

Details:

Right from the start of my sickness I had two emails from two separate managers asking how they could support me and I said discuss altered duties rather than be off sick and refer to OH. Every email I sent was ignored. I phoned in and left messages for managers to call me when they were in or free and no calls. Then they wanted a new fit note, I sent it and asked them to confirm receipt, got no response but my off duty was amended so I know they received it. I got a letter about a long term sickness meeting and emailed to confirm attendance and ask about adjustments, zero acknowledgement.

I attended the meeting and the manager wasn't even aware of the car accident just thought I was off with back problems as per the rota. I went into detail, asked about adjustments, HR were at the meeting and helpful suggested a temporary redeployment while I'm healing. Agreed to get back to me in a week. That was a month ago.

I called to speak to the main manager and she's on leave, I emailed managers asking when she was back from leave so I could arrange a meeting. No reply.

I've since interviewed for and got a new job, an office base nursing job so no issues with my physical injuries. I've emailed my manager as a courtesy letting her know before she gets the reference request and asked about the OH recommendations. Nothing back.

Honestly at this point I'm starting to feel like I'm a ghost. Like my email account is just screaming into the void and my phone calls are being screened. I feel like I have no option but to just stay off sick and let my sick record get trashed. I don't want to do my notice off sick I think it's a rubbish move and I could easily work with a couple of adjustments but if nobody is willing to talk to me what can I do?