u/Terrible_Arugula3244

Lyrics to a new song I am working on, feedback is welcome:)

Pretty Little Mistakes

(Verse)
Wake up
mantra
Cleansing my aura
Deep breathing
Slowly revealing
Its a new feeling
I am healing
A new beginning

Loneliness can find you
At the worst times
Feels like I’m stuck
In the lost & found
Time and again
Wounds can be bound
Be my own friend
I can start again

(Chorus)
Pretty little mistakes
Pretty little
Pretty little
Pretty little mistakes
You’ll be okay
It’s a new day
At least you can say
You did it your way

(Verse)
I used to find
comfort in lies
Open the window
Let the breeze fly
Breathe in the air
No more despair
No more, guilt trippin, liquor sipping
Money gettin
Good intentions
Starting over
Getting closure
Bringing me closer

(Chorus)
Pretty little mistakes
Pretty little
Pretty little
Pretty little mistakes
You’ll be okay
It’s a new day
At least you can say
You did it your way

(Verse)
Big grey clouds
I’m in doubt
When there’s love
I start to run
In my head
Way too much
Rain or shine
So inclined
To take my time
Is it a crime?
Taking what’s mine

(Closing Verse)
Envision with precision
Make the decision
It’s a new season
You are the reason

Being disfellowshipped has done me well, I’m glad to be out and doing my own thing. Of course, from time to time I do miss family members. Although I did tell everyone I’m never coming back to religion, I still speak to my family every now and then. I can’t help but feel somewhat resentful that my family chooses to speak to me every now and then, and due to it I also tend feel guilt all over again. I have done so much healing since leaving all while having little to no community. I’m still rebuilding my own life and social circle. When my family speaks to me, it makes me feel like our relationship is superficial since we disagree in the religious aspect. While I love hearing from them, I just wish they would be in my life fully and not half in half out. I also struggle with ignoring them since I almost get excited to hear from them. It’s odd to be so far removed from them, yet still desire a normal relationship with them. Has anyone else dealt with this? How did you handle it?