Am I actually happy with 80%?
I have always been a last moment pe padh ke above avg and just below toppers ke marks score walla student till 11th so almost throughout my life I have seen grades b/w 75-90%, Toh these grades became pretty normal for me as I always gave myself so called sahanubhuti ki last mai padh ke itna score kr liya toh bohot hai.
But in 12th I changed myself ki Roz padh ke notes banaunga toh touch mai rahunga and started following SnF classes by heart from their paid batch. And maine literally har chapter ke notes banae timely and unko revise bhi krta rehta tha.
Comes the pre board exams toh when almost half my class failed I scored 75% which I was happy with and same for pre 2 scored 78%
During the exams time I fucking gave it all. Downloaded an app called Regain( btw very good app to focus on studies while maintaining a competition with your friends) . I started studying 6hrs a day, 7 days a week for that whole 1.5 months and all my exams went pretty well.
Now comes the result. I scored 80% and me and my family were pretty happy kyunki over the years toh itne marks ka comfort zone ban gya tha.
But deep inside I am not happy with what I scored because this time I worked fucking hard and I know my calliber and potential ki how much I actually required to study agar itne hee marks lane the toh vs how much I studied to score just 80%
It is the first time that my heart actually wanted to top because I worked hard for it but I can't 💔
Although I felt the pain in my heart while writing this post , I know somewhere I am happy that I worked hard and should remain happy about it and want others to not feel depressed because we know we worked hard and jo hota hai ache ke liye hota and something fs is kept better in front of us and to grab it we have to move on now 😁😁💗💗
PEACE OUT ✌🏻✌🏻