u/Thin_Low_2205

My brother, without telling us, went and took the Civil Service Exam in his own

Nagpaalam siya kay mama, sleepover daw sa kaibigan niya, and yun pala, they were off to take the Civil Service Exam

He managed to pass it

And he proceeded to not tell us about it

Nalaman lang ni mama nung nasalubong sa daan yung "friend" and sinabi sa kaniya na nagtake daw sila ng kapatid ko and napasa niya

So here we are, celebrating this little shit's achievement (me through gc)

And I'm sad cos sa December pa ako uuwi

Pero off to send money I guess.....

I've since moved out from where I previously lived, but there are still stuff that I left, like a guitar, a few of my shoes, as well as a toolkit, yung nabili ko lang sa lazada, but that thing did help me fix my phone, and I really miss it

Now, there are multitude of reasons why I haven't come back for these items

One was because my experience living in the place was not good

For example,

There are times where I get blamed for not refilling the water in the fridge despite me not even drinking them, I buy my own water

But the biggest reason, probably will be because of my food expenses, I just can't store food sa shared fridge, because it's always a 50-50 whether kakainin siya or hindi

I know it's not the people who live there, it's the landlady's nephew and his friends whenever they visit

I buy hotdogs, ubos kinabukasan, I prep meat for my lunch tomorrow, nope, that's his now, nothing I can do about it

I literally prepped meat and 2 hours later, I find it being cooked by the nephew and his friends

And after this happening over and over and over, he seems to go for food that's easy to cook first

And me naman,despite wanting to complain, nahihiya ako, kasi kilala ko landlady and in fact discounted ang rent ko

But still, it pisses me off nonetheless, kasi instead of me saving money, napapagastos lalo ako

Now, I have thought to just give them all of my belongings I left there, just because I didn't really wanna go there anymore, parang hassle siya, ayaw ko na din makita mga tao doon as well

I thought na I could just work a few months and replace all of those

But after being convinced by my girlfriend, I eventually decided to just buy a duffle bag to store my stuff in

So then I was there, kinamusta ako, long time no see, etc.

I got my shoes, my guitar, and my toolkit

And then I waited for my ride

While waiting, I saw that I was alone, walang tao, so I checked the fridge

It was filled with food

Bacon, Hashbrowns, Hotdogs, Longganisa, Pork, Beef, there's also fish and shrimp

My first thought was, leave it be

But then my past expenses flashed my mind, and said fuck it, let's do this

So I took the Hasbrowns, I took the bacon, I took the Hotdogs

I didn't touch anything else in the fridge

I also took a red wine na nakatago sa wardrobe, I doubt they'll notice, kasi ang raming wine dun

And eventually the car arrived and I booked it out of there

And when I returned home, I told my girlfriend I did grocery before returning

My mother wasn't always a cat lover, ang raming pusa sa aming lugar, and not one of them caught her heart

Until I decided to have a cat whether she liked it or not, and boom, 180 turn

Since they brought my cat to me, our home was now once again, without a cat, so my mother took in a kitten, humingi siya ng maliit na pusa from a friend of hers

And today, this aftenoon, my father told me that him, my mother, and both of my younger brothers, went to a birthday party

And on the way home, my father sends a video my younger brother took while riding with him, this video was of my mother driving our other motorcycle and behind her was our youngest holding a giant cardboard box

This video was then followed up by the kitten inside said cardboard box, with my mother dangling those fishing rod toys she bought when she visited me

Followed by the message, "Nak, tingnan mo lang mama mo"

Don't get me wrong, I'm happy with where I am

But sometimes, I wish I can go back to when I'm still young, when the world hasn't influenced me yet, when I'm still naive and dumb

Waking up, pancit canton sa lamesa, away away with siblings kung sino makakakuha ng mas malaking portion

Milo while Kape sila mama at papa habang nanonood kami ng Wansapanataym or Going Bulilit, or kung ano pa ba mga palabas noon, Yakitate Japan I guess

Sabay during blackouts, na for some reason we call brownout, play hide and seek, habang naggigitara si papa at sinasabayan ni mama ng pagkakanta

I can't wait for Christmas when I get to be with them again

Miss na miss ko na sila

Iba pa din talaga mga luto ni mama, for some reason, kahit sobrang simple, super sarap pa din

My cat gets really startled when he hears vehicles

It was always like this even back when I was in college

I'd carry her in my arms, then we'd walk around, but the moment I come near the road, and a vehicles comes, she immediately panics and runs away the moment she hears it

That was in our province, this is the city, and the problem with the city is that it's pretty much filled with vehicles always

There's a park near us, and I really wanna take her there, I want her to run around and play in the grass, because I feel bad if she's just locked up inside our home

I used to bring her to the beach always where she'd chase sand crabs, and I wanna see her play like that again

So I bought her a cat bag, it's cute, she looks like she's in a space ship

Then I tried to bring her to the park

I thought it would be okay, seeing as we were quite far from the road where the vehicles are

But then she stepped outside, smelled the grass, heard a loud honk and immediately ran back inside the bag, and refused to come out again

Is there a way to get her used to loud noises? So atleast she doesn't panic always?

Emphasis on My

I have a white car, also called a cat, I call her snowball

She was with me since my college days, and she'd always sleep with me in my bed

And even when I go home late after hanging out with friends, I'd find her sleeping on my bed

I would video call with my mother, and she showed me that she still likes sleeping in my bed

And obviously, I missed her

Which is why I was really really happy when my mother and sister brought her along with her when they visited

When we reunited, she was hesitant but then immediately starts warming up and then rubbing on my legs

And now I'm happy

Or I should be

Except, my cat obviously favors my girlfriend now

The other day, I was watching a movie on my laptop, she lays on my lap, and I start petting her, 10 minutes later, girlfriend sits beside me, and snowball stands and lays on her lap immediately starts purring

I got home one time, and she was following her, even trying to climb onto her shoulder, she never did this with me

I tried to put her on my shoulder once, cause I was curious cause people said some cats are shoulder cats, and not snowball I guess, BUT APPARENTLY I WAS WRONG, SHE JUST HADN'T MET MY GIRLFRIEND YET

During the first few nights, when we slept together, she was laying on my side of the bed, But now, she lays on my girlfriend's side of the bed

She used to meow at me when she's hungry, or when I'm eating, now she does that with my girlfriend, even pawing on her leg

I'M STILL HAPPY

I'M NOT ANGRY

I'M JEALOUS

I raised that girl since she was a kitten and now I'm treated as an afterthought

Feels bad man

So there's this movie, called Project Hail Mary

And I didn't bother watching it in the cinemas, cause I didn't think it's gonna be that good

WRONG: It is good, and I should've went to see it in the cinema

Spoiler Warning

There's this guy, crab guy, called Rocky, and I love him so much, and my girlfriend loves him so much too

He's so goofy

And I swear I'd die for this little guy

It's a nice break from the usual alien movie trope thing where alien is bad guy

Cause Rocky is just such a chill dude

Near the end of the movie, we were like, FUCK EARTH WHY WOULD YOU GO BACK??? And then learn Rocky is in danger and I saw the life drain from my girlfriend's face

And when Grace went back for Rocky, like damn bro, I didn't think a Rock Crab could make me cry

And the funniest part is again at the literal end of the movie, my girlfriend said

"FUCK EARTH YEAHH, FIST MY BUMP YEAHH"

I love Rocky so much, My girlfriend immediately went and ordered a plushie of him

My girlfriend really loves cats, her facebook recos are filled with cat videos

She has a cat chain, a cat wallet, and even a cat pillow she uses to annoy our cat

Every now and then, I'd hear her make noises while looking at her phone

And it's really cute

So I have compiled the words she utters when looking at cats

Myong

Mingayong

Mingyong

MingMong

Mong

MongYong

Ming

MingMing

Minglong

Mingalong

Maw

MingMow

MyowMyow

MeowMeow

Yong

YingYong

YingLong

There's probably a lot more that I just don't remember, but she utters these words when she shows me reels of cats

Like, "Look at the Mingalong oh!!"

And she even howls like a wolf sometimes, except instead of actual howls, she just says, "Mingyonggg Mowowowow"

It's cute, I find it cute

I was at work and my coworker was showing me reels

Well I accidentally backed out and then saw an ad for headsets, and I was intrigued cause apparently this thing is supposed to be worn while you sleep, cause it tracks your sleep

So I click on it, and it was just some generic earphone that's priced relatively high

But then I notice something else

This shop sells it by piece

So you have to buy the case itself, the left earpiece, the right earpiece separately from each other

The items to choose from were listed as, "Charging Case, Right Ear, Left Ear"

So from my understanding, 2k for the charging case, another 2k for the right ear, then another 2k for the left ear, so basically 6k for a set of unbranded earphones

Perhaps it's like those kids meals with toys, complete the set type of thing, I don't know

The product has no reviews whatsoever, and I doubt it will have reviews since I figure only idiots would buy such items

The product is in Lazada's fashion, LazFashion I think it's called

My family is poor, tamang may kaya lang, tamang makasurvive lang, and anything more, savings for the future

Kami yung pamilya na even though may trabaho ang papaz di yun enough, so need ni mama mag supplement

Si papa pagod pag uwi, si mama, punta dito, punta doon, utang dito, utang doon

Sometimes marami kita ni mama, pero sometimes konti

So sometimes we'll have, Fried Chicken, Adobo, then sometimes itlog for a whole week

And me, as kuya, panganay, sometimes I don't even eat, para lang atleast may makain pang konti mga kapatid ko

Growing up, I sacrificed a lot, wala akong baon, walang kinakain minsan

Sometimes when may savings ako, yun binibili ko ng pagkain ko, pero yun nga, walang baon minsan, kaya tiis sa gutom nalang

So when my girlfriend asked me kanina why kapag kumain ako ay parang first time ko makakita, na as if mauubusan ako na sobrang bilis ko kumain

I just smile

I still cry sometimes when I eat alone, I look upon the food on my table, Hindi na siya yung kalahating cup ng kanin at isang boiled egg, full meal na mismo siya

Kalabasa, Sisig, Sinigang

And I could say the same with my family, na promote ulit si papa at gumaan na lalo yung buhay nila

So yeah I'm happy

My parents, as far as I remember, have always smoked

Yet they always tell me why I shouldn't smoke

So I grew up thinking smoking bad, so no no smoking

But that didn't stop my curiosity with them

I have always been a curious child, I'd like to know how, what, why for all that matters regarding everything

Including what cigarettes or vapes tastes like or what it feels like to smoke

Today, as I walk around the city with my girlfriend, we came across people who smoked and vaped, and began to berate them cause

"LMAO IMAGINE NEEDING CIGARETTES OR VAPE TO NOT GET DEPRESSED, WEAAAAKKK"

or

"LMAO IMAGINE GETTING ADDICTED TO SHIT, WEAAAAKK", Cause you know.... that shit kills you

And I have no idea why people keep smoking when they themselves know it kills them

Like, if you know you're gonna get addicted, just like the thousands of people for example, already having trouble stopping

THEN WHY THE HECK WOULD YOU JOIN THEM

Not that I even have the right to judge addictions cause I myself have been addicted to fries for awhile now

Then a topic comes up, both of us has never once tried vapes or cigarettes

So before going home, we went to buy 2 cigarettes and a vape

We first tried the vape, and I admit, it has a taste

it tastes like shit artificial flavor

Then we tried cigarettes

It also tastes like shit, cancer shit

We were coughing nonstop and it made our apartment smell bad

So we immediately threw those out

DUDE, I COULD'VE BOUGHT FRIES WITH INSTEAD

If ever I have kids, I will also teach them that smoking is bad

I hope they grow up thinking cigarettes or vapes are shit and a waste of money

so yeah, lesson learned, smoking is shit, get fries instead

I love my father, he's someone I really look up to

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When I was a child, he has really long hair

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Pair that with his jackets and a lean build, it reminds me of Sephiroth

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He likes to play Final Fantasy, I always see him replaying FF tactics

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It's also one of the reasons why I like jackets and final fantasy, and also letting my hair grow long

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If not for the rules on his workplace, he'll probably have a really long hair by now

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He always did say that he wanted to dye his hair white

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What's probably amazing for me is how he cuts his own hair, just give him scissors and a mirror, and it somehow looks okay

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It's like getting a trim from a barber

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This is why I've also started to cut my own hair, even if just at the top or sides

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As I type this, I've begone to think about how many more things has my father influenced in me?

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I end this now to think about it some more

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Let's just call these two F1 and F2, cause ayaw ko itype mismo yung surname knowing na the bad side uses reddit

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I can't stress enough how different these two families are

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I grew up with F1, the good side

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So when I came to live my lola from F2 side, I was so surprised by how different they are

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I would describe F1 as humility and kindess above all else

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And I would describe F2 as if they could, they would trample you

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Over the course of 3 months, my lola, while I was telling stories of my grandfather, cause he just died and I miss him

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I mentioned that people would often bring him gifts, buy him bread and stuff because he helped a lot of people

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And this woman for no reason, inserts herself, "ako nga binibigyan basta sabihin ko lang na gusto ko, in retrospect jo name pa ako"

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BRUV WHO THE HECK CARES, WE'RE TALKING ABOUT MY GRANDFATHER NOT YOU

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I got my first salary, I decided to celebrate, and then out of nowhere, this woman asks how much I made, then inserts, "yung tito mo, he's a lawyer, he made this much on his first salary"

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There's a time when may nag deliver ng gasul sa amin, and the guy had no change, it was 5 pesos, and my lola forced him to go get change at the store

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And I say, "La, 5 pesos lang naman, bigay nalang natin, or bayaran kita mamaya"

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And she says, "Ikaw bahala", then leave as the guy installs the gas

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And then she proceed to snob me for a week, her tone with me literally became angry

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And it isn't just her by the way, my pamangkins, my titos and titas from that side, were the same

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I bought meat from the palengke, and I put my name on it before putting it on the freezer, and the very next day as I prepared to cook it, I find out that my pamangkins decided to cook it

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So I just bought store food for lunch that day

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And the gross part is my tito dumps cigarette butts all over the floor, and doesn't flush the toilet

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So everytime I walk by my lola, nagpaparinig siya na ang dumi ng bahay, what the fuck am I supposed to do?? I have work! I can't go clean the whole house! Go tell my tito to stop her behavior!

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My mom visited once, and they proceeded to treat her like a slave, linis dito, linis doon, bili ka nito, bili ka ng ano, while they sat at their table gambling

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My sister visited once, and my lola got mad at her for not helping around the house, except she is helping, my lola just wasn't always at home to see her helping, so she immediately assumes she's not helping in the house

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It got so bad that my sister, who once wanted to work in Manila, now decided that she doesn't want to if she's just going to live in our Lola's house

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For comparison

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a lola from my mom's F1 side, once won a small amount in lottery, and her first move was literally buy a gift for her best friend and treat us to jollibee

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My mother's mother, when I visited her alone, I saw help a random stranger, like she bought around 200 pesos amount of food from her and proceeded to give her 500 pesos and allowing her to keep the change

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My mother's father, likes to walk a lot, and he was so loved by dogs that they'd go up to him for pets

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My lola from F2, is so disliked that unless it's their family dog, animals won't even go near her

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We once had a cat in the house, this cat just appeared and would sit on my lap, this same cat, would actively avoid my lola

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These two sides are like night and day, It's so funny

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But damn do I hate F2 a lot

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I used to really hate my youngest brother, di siya mautusan, sobrang tamad niya to the point na kahit pag hugas ng pinggan di niya ginagawa

And I used to do so much for him, taught him ukelele so he could have something to show during talent moments in school, cause I for sure didn't

Taught him math, and I sat with him while he did his homework

Even taught him how to cook and stuff

And most of these shouldn't even be my job, yet I stepped up cause my parents for sure did not

But I stopped cause he doesn't even show an ounce of resepct for me

Then I go away for quite awhile, around August, and when I return home nung christmas, I learn that not only is he no longer taking a bath, he stopped going to school

And then there was a time when umuwi ulit ako for my Lolo's funeral, someone who we lived with since the very beginning, and he wouldn't even get up, he just kept watching sa laptop niya, and I got mad, cause lahat kami ng apo niya present dun, maliban sa kaniya

Imagine mga relatives namin na sobrang layo, nakaattend sa funeral, while our youngest couldn't even be bothered to get up

And then May na ngayon, and my recent video call with my mother shows him still wearing the same white T-Shirt na sobrang itim na

Then I come across facebook and he's just posting random udpates in his life, and his friends used to react and comment on his posts, but now, none at all

It's sort of become his diary now, of all his thoughts and ideas

I don't really blame my mother for just letting him do whatever he wants, I know she's just afraid to lose him

Cause she did try to take away his phone and laptops saying she'll return it if he takes a bath, but then he tries to kill himself

So now she tried to get him theraphy, but he wouldn't even budge, he won't get up to go to theraphy, so the therapist literally had to go to him, but then he just went and ignored the therapist

And now his life is just Eat, Laptop, Phone, Eat, Sleep, Repeat

Tinanong ko mga kapatid ko, willing ba kayo mag alaga sa kapatid natin after nila mag graduate? And they flat out said no

And I don't blame them, Heck even I don't want anything to do with him

And then my mom just keeps hoping he'll be better