u/This-One9723

If you’d like, tell us a little story about them too, how they came into your life, a funny habit they have, or what makes them so special

I know CF dating pool in India is already quite small. But once you add other preferences or deal breaker, like age, gender, religion, region, language, lifestyle, etc. it can feel even more limited. I'm CF and an atheist. I think that's a pretty small group to be part of.

I’m just curious, what are your non negotiable, and how much do they shrink your already tiny dating pool? or have you still managed to find compatible people?

Would love to hear your experiences.

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CFCF posters. Please vote honestly based on approximately how many people reached out after your post

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This poll is to help set realistic expectations for future CFCF posters. Please vote honestly based on approximately how many people reached out after your post

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I’m a 30M Muslim, tall enough to reach top shelves, working in the corporate world. My weekdays are a mix of meetings that could’ve been emails, emails that should’ve been meetings.

I spend an unreasonable amount of time watching films, food travel vlogs, and lifting weights in gym. Some weeks I’m obsessed with improving my diet and sleep schedule. Other weeks I’m awake at 1 AM watching YouTube videos about pyramids, different countries cultures or standup comedy. Also i love to travel and explore different cities and foods.

I go to the gym regularly, eat fairly clean, don’t do any types of drugs. I’m open minded. I value kindness over appearances, and genuine connection over ticking boxes. I don’t care much for rigid gender roles or the idea that a relationship has to look a certain way to be successful.

A perfect evening for me could be a long drive, a great movie, a random roadside tea stall, or just sitting somewhere talking about everything or nothing.

Looking for someone who is kind, open minded, emotionally available, has a sense of humor, and is still excited about discovering new things. Someone who takes care of herself and has her own interests. And I like people who are curious about the world, who question everything. Looking to meet someone in the 26–32 age bracket.

If your idea of flirting is sending movie and songs recommendations or weird observations, we’ll probably get along.

If you’re interested, please skip the Hi/Hello and tell me a little about yourself instead, or what made you reach out.

I have been in a few relationships, including one CF relationship, and so many talking stages that went nowhere. I have struggled a lot with people’s lack of commitment and their long checklists. In relationships where I was committed, I checked almost all the items on their lists, and they themselves said I was their ideal match. But still, those relationships and dating experiences went nowhere.

Every time, I thought maybe something was wrong with me. How was I able to find these perfect people, yet still fail in relationships or get rejected. Soon i realized that I’m not just looking for a partner, but a lover, and most of us as well.

So what’s the difference then, i think a partner can be anyone who’s compatible and ticks all your checklist items. They can be your ideal match on paper. But deep down, humans needs go beyond checklists. We all want to be understood, loved unconditionally, respected, and chosen. These are needs we ignore most of the time because we are so occupied with our checklists, like CF, religion, caste, money, status, family, physical appearance, career, and so much more.

And I do agree that some things are non negotiable, like CF, life and career goals. It’s really important to align on those things. I personally can’t marry someone who wants a child. But we should also not forget our basic human needs at the same time.

But then some people also have emotional needs on the checklist, which is better, but those things build with time spent together, people just can’t provide these in a box. So we see the potential of the person in this case, but a genuine kind person can be cruel to you, that’s totally possible.

It’s my personal belief that it’s hard to fall in love while holding checklists in our hands. Love requires, no it demands some sacrifice. Someone who’s ready to lose something for the person they love. Romantic love is not alien, it’s similar to the love we have for family and friends. There are times when we sacrifice for them or put their needs before ours. We take losses while still smiling. I think thats what romantic love demands as well, the willingness to sacrifice.

And I have always been ready to sacrifice in past relationships. I compromised because I genuinely fell for them and loved them. But the other person was always too scared to lose. Anything can become a competition if you only think about winning or gaining something.

The other thing is that once you enter your late 20s, your frontal lobe is mostly developed, and you start taking more rational decisions. You begin to reason through everything. And we bring that same mindset into relationships and dating too, I want someone who ticks these items, who is this, who is that and so on. Once we become adults, our tendency to sacrifice drops drastically. We have jobs, family responsibilities, and stability to maintain, and we don’t want anything to compromise those things.

So it’s understandable why we do what we do. But we still need to understand that if we are looking for genuine love, we also need to understand what it demands and what our emotional needs are.

But if you’re only looking for a partner who ticks certain boxes of material things and opinion alignment, you can find many people like that. No matter how unique or difficult your checklist is, there are tons of people out there like you. Especially in the online world, just search, filter, sort, reach out, and keep looking.

But if you’re looking for love, my friend, please learn to sacrifice sometimes, of course when its worth it. Again i’m not saying you should compromise your core values or beliefs, but maybe loosen up a little. I don’t know if im making any sense, i might be entirely wrong., But that’s what i think.