F*** Chuck
Wow the fact that you actually are looking for me on here is wild. I can’t even express myself anonymously to no one you know without you finding me just so you can put me down and make me feel even smaller than you already have made me feel. Don’t lie to yourself. You never cared about me or loved me. We wouldn’t be here right now if you had.
I know that was you that made that post It sounds exactly like something you would write. Those are the exact words, and your exact playbooks, and it is exactly what you do to twist reality and make me look like the problem. And if you aren’t him. You need to have some accountability. People don’t just do things like you described when they are dealing with a normal kind person. Your exes actions are those of someone who has been severely affected by somebody who is a narcissist who gaslight her makes her feel crazy and then puts her down just so you can feel like the better person.
But if this is you, here is what I have to say back to you:
You want to talk about "games" and "drama"? You left me holding the entire weight of the wreckage you caused. You chose someone else over me, made your choices, and left me to handle all the turmoil, pain, and health fears completely on my own. Yeah, maybe I processed that pain by posting vaguely and anonymously online without giving away real details.. because I needed an outlet for the damage you left behind.
But it’s hilarious that you want to accuse me of playing games. Look at you. If this is you, you’re sitting here lurking, searching, and writing paragraphs on anonymous forums just to protect your image. You’re playing the exact same "game" you’re complaining about.
That’s the definition of your narcissism. You can’t handle the idea that someone out there might see you for who you really are.
Everything always has to be about you, your fragile ego, and how the world perceives you. You start the fights, you yell, you make the choices that hurt people, and the second anyone reacts or stands up for themselves, you throw on a victim mask and call it "drama."
For the first time, I am actually processing how I’ve felt over the last two years. I spent that entire time terrified of losing you, constantly disregarding my own feelings just to fix things between us. I didn't realize back then that apologizing when I did nothing wrong.. just to keep the peace.. only fed your superiority complex.
You were never truly good to me. You yelled at me for asking basic, normal questions that human beings ask each other out of care. When your aunt fell and I asked if she was okay, you literally screamed at me and told me I was the only person in your life who annoyed you with questions like that. You made me feel like complete garbage just for caring about someone you loved. That is just one tiny example of how you treated me, and it's the exact reason I need to heal. It's why I am in these forums processing the emotional damage left behind after dealing with someone like you.
I don’t want you to keep a "special place" for me in your heart. Erase me from it completely. I don't want to be there, and you don't deserve to hold onto any piece of me after everything you put me through.
I’m done absorbing your projections. You made your choice.. now live with it and leave me alone.
EDIT:
I am done. I am completely done protecting you.
I came here trying to anonymously and vaguely process the damage you left behind just to get some release, and watching you antagonize me, play the victim, and call my pain "drama" was the absolute last straw. I am no longer keeping your secrets. I am no longer taking the blame for your anger issues, your choices, or the wreckage you caused.
Here is the reality of the man I dealt with for the last two years:
You abandoned me when it mattered:
You ditched me on my birthday, left me hanging, and ghosted me more than three separate times whenever it was convenient for you. I was always there for you when you were $400 short on getting your car do you want so badly you called me and I made sure you got your car when your family had no food on Thanksgiving and you wanted to make Thanksgiving dinner for your dad I gave you money to get food on Christmas. You didn’t wanna go to Christmas Eve because you didn’t wanna show without gifts. I made sure every single family member had a gift when you went there. Make sure your transcripts were paid for to be transferred over so you could go to school. I gave you money for food gas I gave you the last of my money sometimes because I thought it was investing in a future to you. I thought your family would be my family one day and I.. oh how I was wrong.
You punished me for caring:
You yelled at me and made me feel like garbage for asking basic, normal questions out of genuine care like asking if your aunt was okay because your rage and anger issues couldn't handle basic human interaction. Or anytime we were talking about a specific topic if I asked more questions about it because I was interested in you that’s what you do when you’re invested in somebody you wanna hear more about things are interested in. Not to this man he yelled at me and told me I was annoying.
You chose disrespect over loyalty:
You left me for a woman who literally hid your child from you, and then had the audacity to ask me to be your friend and watch you build a life with her. And I tried I tried really hard to be there and be friends with you that you came onto me and crossed the line and then when I asked you if you regretted it, you were very vague and so I was confused and asked if you weren’t a committed relationship because at that point we have been talking every single day and it kind of felt like we were getting back together. I didn’t wanna push you by asking you questions about your situation you thumbs down my question asking if you were gonna commit to relationship and then said “if you can’t wait, I’ll leave you be.“ And when I asked you what you meant by that you wouldn’t elaborate you said “I said what I said and I’m not saying anything more than that“ you knew what you were doing when you sent those text you know what you were trying to give me hope that once you gained access to the daughter that you don’t have access to right now and who you’re not on the birth certificate with that once you got access, you would come back to me but no instead you have keeping me a secret you your baby momma has no idea that me and you were even in love. And you just expected me to keep those secrets for you and I did. I didn’t tell anybody I haven’t told anybody and somehow I’m not to be trusted. You’re trying to build a life with a woman that you didn’t even tell the truth about the fact that you were in love with somebody in a relationship which she popped up out of nowhere with a kid.
You dangled hope to keep me hooked:
When you came back, you tried to make me feel like there was still a possibility for us down the line once you gained access to your child, using my feelings to keep me in your orbit.
You brought chaotic, legal turmoil:
You ended up getting arrested with seven different charges while expecting me to stand by, hold space, and absorb the mess of your life.
You completely abandoned me during a health crisis:
You knew about my health scare, that I had a lump in my breast you made me feel like shit, knowing that you were the only person I told about cause I was scared to worry anybody in my family. And I could’ve been fine with you not being present fully because I know you had stuff going on too, but really got me with the message where you said that you didn’t give a fuck about making small. Talk with me until I had a doctors appointment cause there’s nothing you could do when you aren’t gonna put an effort to make small talk. You knew I was terrified, and knew you were the only person I confided in. You didn't give a damn about my health, and to this day, you still haven't had the decency to ask if I'm okay. I told you that my doctor can rule out breast cancer and then I have to go back for an ultrasound in a week to see, and you haven’t cared about what the uncertainty of all of this is done to me on top of finding out you were talking to multiple different women behind my back the whole time and ignoring me during your time when I really needed you, I was freaking out about my health, ignoring me claiming to be too busy, but not busy enough to respond other woman.
You gaslit me when I set a healthy boundary:
When I told you we couldn't just be friends.. because we tried that and it was disrespectful to the woman you were trying to build a family with.. you turned it around on me and tried to make me feel like I was the crazy one. I told you that that we both know we can’t just be friends. We tried instead of you taking that burning because you’re the one that left me for another woman you put that burden on me. I’m the reason why we’re not friends why we’re not each other‘s lives no we’re not each other‘s lives because we can’t be friends. We tried. We both crossed the line. You made choices you knew would hurt me and you still made them you still chose. And all I’m trying to do is heal from the absolute heartbreak that you’ve put me through.
I spent two years terrified of losing you, constantly apologizing when I did nothing wrong just to keep the peace, and letting you feed your superiority complex at my expense. You were never good to me. You are a narcissist who only cares about how you are perceived, and the moment anyone holds a mirror up to your actions, you throw on a victim mask.
So here it is instead of me posting vaguely.. now what you’ve done to me is out there. Everything Ive been keeping in and protecting you from people knowing just how awful you are. Your ego couldn’t even handle the fact that I was anonymously vaguely posting about you so I could process my emotions and deal with the pain you caused me. So now I’m putting all your nastiness out in the world. I don’t even care anymore. You thought that you coming on here and intimidating me would shut me up but all it did was shred every last bit of me that wanted to protect you and now all I wanna do is expose who you really are. So go ahead keep poking me because I got plenty more that you’ve done to me This is only a quarter of what you’ve put me through.
I am done posting here because not even here anonymously was I safe from this man and his talking down to me making me feel like worse than I already feel.