u/ThrowRA_okavg

How do I get over this fear of being an inconvenience?

I am admittedly too “go with the flow” or even go a long with “whatever you want to do” but tonight I thought I was making it clear that I thought what we had planned to do was important to me to take care of.

I.e. we planned on trimming trees to let our plants get more light, but instead of doing that he asked if I “had planned on boing for a bike ride?” I replied “i had thought about it but…” I forget exactly what I said but I was trying to imply that with everything we were going to do I didn’t think there would be time for it. This resulted in him telling me it’s exhausting to live with me “not wanting to do anything or have an opinion.”

I think it’s my trouble making things inconvenient for others that is making me doubt what i want or don’t want.

Idk if this is making sense because I’m so frustrated that this is causing an argument. Now nothing is getting done and he’s not speaking to me.

Side note: he told me he saw me smirking at him when he got angry. This couldn’t be further from what I was feeling at the time, I don’t have a mirror to what he saw but there was no joy or elation at his anger in me.

I don’t know if this is the right sub, if not I’ll take it elsewhere.

Just need to vent I guess and get some outside opinions. Tear me apart, idc.

Last night my bf 31M and I 31F had an argument and we weren’t speaking to each other but that doesn’t really have anything to do with what this is about. Once I got in bed and had fallen asleep, I was out pretty much cold until one of our cats knocked something over which I fixed in the moment. It didn’t take long to fall back asleep but the next thing I know I’m awake, eyes open and I hear my boyfriend in my ear, repeating “You’re crazy, you’re crazy” and pointing at me. He said it one more time before I said “I’m not crazy” and he laughed kinda maniacally as he said “I’m just messing around”.

Now I don’t know what to think. Say, or do.

How do I approach him with this? Am I overreacting?
I don’t know if he himself was sleeping, but I froze after I said “I’m not.”

I have felt SO INCREDIBLY uneasy about it all day.
We have other issues going on so tension is high already.

ETA: we are together going on 4 years.

Last night my bf 31M and I 31F had an argument and we weren’t speaking to each other but that doesn’t really have anything to do with what this is about. Once I got in bed and had fallen asleep, I was out pretty much cold until one of our cats knocked something over which I fixed in the moment. It didn’t take long to fall back asleep but the next thing I know I’m awake, eyes open and I hear my boyfriend in my ear, repeating “You’re crazy, you’re crazy” and pointing at me. He said it one more time before I said “I’m not crazy” and he laughed kinda maniacally as he said “I’m just messing around”.

Now I don’t know what to think. Say, or do. I’m now just thinking of doing a sleep talk app. But he would find issue with this.

How do I approach him with this?
I don’t know if he himself was sleeping, but I froze after I said “I’m not.” I don’t know if he’d gaslight me about this and I can really tell if he’d would lie about it. Either being awake or even acknowledging it.

I have felt SO INCREDIBLY uneasy about it all day.
We have other issues going on so tension is high already.

ETA: we are together going on 4 years.