u/ThrowRAstupidfrknrul

I'm looking for outside opinions because I'm too close to the situation. My boyfriend and I have been together for about two years. He doesn't want any indication on social media that he's in a relationship. He doesn't post me, won't mention having a girlfriend, doesn't seem want signs he's in a relationship. In previous relationships, he did publicly post his girlfriends and make it obvious he was with them. I don't ask to be posted. I would honestly just be happy with something as simple as his profile saying he's in a relationship, or some acknowledgment to our relationship. He also followed a number of accounts that primarily post thirst traps or sexualized content. On its own, maybe that wouldn't have bothered me as much, but combined with easily seeming single online, it hit contributed to how I feel. One a public stream of his recently, I had been noticing what seemed like flirtatious interactions a bit with him and a follower of his. I didn't say anything because I didn't want to ruin this streaming for him, and I wasn't sure if I was over thinking it. On one of his more recent streams though, him and that same follower had a bit of back and forth flirty banter, in which he called her a cutie pie. A name I don't recall him ever calling me. Apparently she had previously asked if he was married. He answered honestly that he wasn't. He didn't volunteer that he was in a relationship. Meanwhile, I feel like the affection and romantic attention in our relationship has become much less consistent. Compliments, affectionate names, romantic attention doesn't feel as natural or frequent anymore. I send loving messages and compliments, and do the same in person, but they're rarely reciprocated if acknowledged. When I've brought these concerns up, he's told me he thinks I'm reading too much into them and that social media isn't real. Since we see these situations so differently, I've started questioning whether I'm being fair or assigning meaning where there isn't any. If I'm being unreasonable in feeling hurt. I also know he's been under a lot of stress, and I know that stress can affect how someone shows up in a relationship. I'm trying to keep that in mind while also being honest about how these things have affected me I am questioning my level of expectations and what is more realistic out of a relationship, especially nowadays with social media and how certain kinds of affection and attention are given outside of the relationship vs what is given inside. Am I connected things that shouldn't be connected, reading too much into things and assigning meaning where there is none?

How would someone navigate feeling valued and secure with these patterns?

I'm looking for outside opinions because I'm too close to the situation. My boyfriend and I have been together for about two years. He doesn't want any indication on social media that he's in a relationship. He doesn't post me, won't mention having a girlfriend, doesn't seem want signs he's in a relationship. In previous relationships, he did publicly post his girlfriends and make it obvious he was with them. I don't ask to be posted. I would honestly just be happy with something as simple as his profile saying he's in a relationship, or some acknowledgment to our relationship. He also followed a number of accounts that primarily post thirst traps or sexualized content. On its own, maybe that wouldn't have bothered me as much, but combined with easily seeming single online, it hit contributed to how I feel. One a public stream of his recently, I had been noticing what seemed like flirtatious interactions a bit with him and a follower of his. I didn't say anything because I didn't want to ruin this streaming for him, and I wasn't sure if I was over thinking it. On one of his more recent streams though, him and that same follower had a bit of back and forth flirty banter, in which he called her a cutie pie. A name I don't recall him ever calling me. Apparently she had previously asked if he was married. He answered honestly that he wasn't. He didn't volunteer that he was in a relationship. Meanwhile, I feel like the affection and romantic attention in our relationship has become much less consistent. Compliments, affectionate names, romantic attention doesn't feel as natural or frequent anymore. I send loving messages and compliments, and do the same in person, but they're rarely reciprocated if acknowledged. When I've brought these concerns up, he's told me he thinks I'm reading too much into them and that social media isn't real. Since we see these situations so differently, I've started questioning whether I'm being fair or assigning meaning where there isn't any. If I'm being unreasonable in feeling hurt. I also know he's been under a lot of stress, and I know that stress can affect how someone shows up in a relationship. I'm trying to keep that in mind while also being honest about how these things have affected me I am questioning my level of expectations and what is more realistic out of a relationship, especially nowadays with social media and how certain kinds of affection and attention are given outside of the relationship vs what is given inside. Am I connected things that shouldn't be connected, reading too much into things and assigning meaning where there is none?

How would someone navigate feeling valued and secure with these patterns?

I'm looking for outside opinions because I'm too close to the situation. My boyfriend and I have been together for about two years. He doesn't want any indication on social media that he's in a relationship. He doesn't post me, won't mention having a girlfriend, doesn't seem want signs he's in a relationship. In previous relationships, he did publicly post his girlfriends and make it obvious he was with them. I don't ask to be posted. I would honestly just be happy with something as simple as his profile saying he's in a relationship, or some acknowledgment to our relationship. He also followed a number of accounts that primarily post thirst traps or sexualized content. On its own, maybe that wouldn't have bothered me as much, but combined with easily seeming single online, it hit contributed to how I feel. One a public stream of his recently, I had been noticing what seemed like flirtatious interactions a bit with him and a follower of his. I didn't say anything because I didn't want to ruin this streaming for him, and I wasn't sure if I was over thinking it. On one of his more recent streams though, him and that same follower had a bit of back and forth flirty banter, in which he called her a cutie pie. A name I don't recall him ever calling me. Apparently she had previously asked if he was married. He answered honestly that he wasn't. He didn't volunteer that he was in a relationship. Meanwhile, I feel like the affection and romantic attention in our relationship has become much less consistent. Compliments, affectionate names, romantic attention doesn't feel as natural or frequent anymore. I send loving messages and compliments, and do the same in person, but they're rarely reciprocated if acknowledged. When I've brought these concerns up, he's told me he thinks I'm reading too much into them and that social media isn't real. Since we see these situations so differently, I've started questioning whether I'm being fair or assigning meaning where there isn't any. If I'm being unreasonable in feeling hurt. I also know he's been under a lot of stress, and I know that stress can affect how someone shows up in a relationship. I'm trying to keep that in mind while also being honest about how these things have affected me I am questioning my level of expectations and what is more realistic out of a relationship, especially nowadays with social media and how certain kinds of affection and attention are given outside of the relationship vs what is given inside. Am I connected things that shouldn't be connected, reading too much into things and assigning meaning where there is none?

How would someone navigate feeling valued and secure with these patterns?

I'm looking for outside opinions because I'm too close to the situation. My boyfriend and I have been together for about two years. He doesn't want any indication on social media that he's in a relationship. He doesn't post me, won't mention having a girlfriend, doesn't seem want signs he's in a relationship. In previous relationships, he did publicly post his girlfriends and make it obvious he was with them. I don't ask to be posted. I would honestly just be happy with something as simple as his profile saying he's in a relationship, or some acknowledgment to our relationship. He also followed a number of accounts that primarily post thirst traps or sexualized content. On its own, maybe that wouldn't have bothered me as much, but combined with easily seeming single online, it hit contributed to how I feel. One a public stream of his recently, I had been noticing what seemed like flirtatious interactions a bit with him and a follower of his. I didn't say anything because I didn't want to ruin this streaming for him, and I wasn't sure if I was over thinking it. On one of his more recent streams though, him and that same follower had a bit of back and forth flirty banter, in which he called her a cutie pie. A name I don't recall him ever calling me. Apparently she had previously asked if he was married. He answered honestly that he wasn't. He didn't volunteer that he was in a relationship. Meanwhile, I feel like the affection and romantic attention in our relationship has become much less consistent. Compliments, affectionate names, romantic attention doesn't feel as natural or frequent anymore. I send loving messages and compliments, and do the same in person, but they're rarely reciprocated if acknowledged. When I've brought these concerns up, he's told me he thinks I'm reading too much into them and that social media isn't real. Since we see these situations so differently, I've started questioning whether I'm being fair or assigning meaning where there isn't any. If I'm being unreasonable in feeling hurt. I also know he's been under a lot of stress, and I know that stress can affect how someone shows up in a relationship. I'm trying to keep that in mind while also being honest about how these things have affected me I am questioning my level of expectations and what is more realistic out of a relationship, especially nowadays with social media and how certain kinds of affection and attention are given outside of the relationship vs what is given inside. Am I connected things that shouldn't be connected, reading too much into things and assigning meaning where there is none?

How would someone navigate feeling valued and secure with these patterns?