u/TillArtistic9662

I apologize for the run on sentences and for any spelling errors, I just really need to finally get this off my chest.

I (22 F) have a friend (25 F) that constantly complains about her poor life decisions whenever we talk. There’s not a day that does by where she doesn’t facetime me or blow up my phone saying she needs to talk. I have no issue being there for my friends whatsoever, I’m naturally a listener and usually quick to drop everything for my friends.

But this friend always complains about self inflicted problems. For example, she’ll complain that she doesn’t want to be with her boyfriend anymore but refuses to break up with him. One time, her boyfriend dumped her and she convinced him to get back together with her just to complain about not wanting to be with him seconds after.
My friend seemingly loves drama and loves being the ‘’victim’’. She continuously puts herself in unsafe situations and then complains about it endlessly. She lacks the self awareness ( or just doesn’t care) that her problems are self inflicted.

To make things worse, this friend isn’t there for me when I need her. I rarely lean on friends in hard times as I am a very independent person. But occasionally I will be going through something and need a shoulder to lean on briefly. This friend will outright ignore what I said and proceed to talk about whatever shallow issues she has. And if she doesn’t outright ignore me, she invalidates my feelings and experiences.

An example of this is when she asked me how I was doing ( this is a rare occasion) and I told her I was feeling sad because of family issues. (For context, I’m no contact with my dad who adopted me when I was only a few days old because he allowed my physically abusive ex bf to live with him after the breakup. )

My friend replied ‘’ It’s not like he’s your real dad, your real dad’s alive. Mines dead’’

This was a punch to the gut.

I’m heavily considering cutting off my crisis friend. I haven’t yet because we’ve been friends for 8 years now and i feel guilty. But deep down i know i have to cut her off, it’s gotten to the point where i ignore her texts and calls because i don’t have the energy for her constant whining and negativity.

I’ve (22 F) been with my partner (25 M) for 2 years now. Our relationship is wonderful, I’ve truly never met another man that’s so understanding and kind. The only issue is his mother. Every time I come over ( they live together still) she makes rude comments, but only when he’s not in the room with us. Her most recent comments were how I should ‘’ eat healthier because I always eat junk food’’. The irony is, I don’t eat much junk food or take out at home. I mostly only eat take out when I go over because she never cooks and by the time my partner and I get to her house it’s much too late to take something out and start dinner.
Another one of her recent comments ( which happened yesterday) was about how I should find a ‘’ much nicer apartment’’. This comment was brought on because we were discussing how noisy some of my neighbours can be at times. She then proceeded to say that I really need to learn how to drive. This comment was unprompted. For context, I don’t drive because of health issues.

These are just a few examples of the type of comments she makes. Another incident that’s worthy of mentioning is when she had a full blown temper tantrum at my partner simply because i was over for a day. I heard her scream at the top of her lungs how he never helps her out anymore and how he’s always with me. She threatened to sell the house if he didn’t stay home more. For context, I don’t come over often, at most I come over every 3-4 weeks, sometimes it’ll be almost 2 months before I come over again.

So, am I overreacting ? I’m genuinely curious because whenever I bring up her behaviour to my boyfriend he always says she means well.