u/Time_Illustrator_720

Anyone else obsessed with the cello in this cover?? I play cello and it is absolutely music to my ears.

Anyone know if there’s sheet music for it??

So yea basically the title explains everything, I’m just struggling with the fact I will never experience having a penis. Advice is GREATLY appreciated :)

So my boyfriend has always been super supportive of the fact that I had been questioning my gender for a while. A few days ago I told him that I’d been seriously thinking and opened up to him about my dysphoria. I talked about not being 100% sure if I was actually trans. And his response snapped me out of being upset and made me laugh SO hard. He said

“Oh so u trans n shi”
“That’s not a cis thing to say bro 🥀”

This seriously made me laugh a lot. And I don’t want any of yall to think that he is a bad boyfriend bc his response might not seem ‘genuine’ or ‘right’ to some of yall. That is just how we are lmao. We don’t like to take anything too seriously and we like to laugh about what we can. Also his best friend is trans MTF so he is not transphobic in ANY way and he is pansexual himself.

I just don’t know how much longer I can live like this. I am not able to come out but I know in my heart that I am trans. I’ve known for a while at this point. I want to experience everything a cis man has and does. I want a flat chest, I want a penis, I want a deep voice, I want it all. Every day in my feminine body is absolute hell. I just don’t know what to do. I have transgender friends who I envy because I see them living their best lives. I see them living freely. I see them happy. I want that.

I’ve recently been in a cycle of starving and then eating a bunch and I’ve noticed that my thighs have new, bright red, stretch marks. I feel disgusting. My thighs feel massive. Part of me wants to think that my mind is playing tricks on me and my thighs aren’t as big as I think, but I have these fresh new marks to remind me I am gaining.

Anyways, any advice, comments, ect. yall have would be appreciated.

Tw: talk of >!purging!< and >!binge/purge cycles!<

This is my first time posting in the group. Please take down if not allowed.

So I had a dream last night and it was really disturbing to me and honestly I just need to get it off my chest.

For background context, I struggle with an ED to about a year, was in recover for almost 2, and recently had a relapse in eating habits and >!starving myself!<.

In the dream I had I was stuck in a >!binge/purge cycle!< and I was panicking because I couldn’t make myself >!throw up.!< Even though it was a dream, i could feel the sensation of my >!fingers down my throat and me gagging!<. I was *insainly* triggered and disturbed and disgusted.

I have never >!purged!< before despite trying, (yes I am aware it is severely unhealthy. I have only tried once) and I think that is why this was so scary to me. I felt all the panic of eating and not being able to >!throw up.!<

Honestly not sure the purpose of me posting here, I just need to vent about this. If ya have any feedback or comments they would be greatly appreciated <3